Thread 718894064

>>718894064 (OP)
>>718894148
Hello rèddit

Master Chief's series is shit and whored out to Playstation, Samus wouldn't be caught dead with that loser

>>718894219
Nah those fags are too young for Haloid

>>718894260
They were married actually. From 2004 to 2011, but then Chief died. She has been a widow ever since

>>718894378
No Chief is still alive. He stars in shit games and crossovers now.

>>718894064 (OP)
Made for BWC
>>718894148
Only chief can please her.

>>718894556
>No Chief is still alive.
No

>>718894647
Based

>>718894675
Yes. Sorry if this upsets you but you don't get to live in delusion.

>>718894219
Samus x Doomguy is Reddit
Samus x John Halo is 4chan

>>718894805
A skinsuit. Nothing more

>>718894064 (OP)
narrator's note: Samus has gotten her shithole remodeled by literally EVERYONE on /v/ save for Master Chief, as a matter of fact they never consumed marriage. Sad!

Hello, I'm EVERYONE.

>>718894820
And shipping anyone is tumblr

>>718894986
shut the fuck up, voice in my head

>>718894897
>narrator's note: Samus has gotten her shithole remodeled by literally EVERYONE on /v/ save for Master Chief, as a matter of fact they never consumed marriage. Sad!
Nah

imagine the supersoldier abominations these two would produce, isn't Chief a eunuch or something? Would Samus' womb drain his dick of energy like a Metroid if he even tried something?

>>718894820
Blue and green go together

>>718895057
Spartan IIs are not eunuchs. But most supressed their sexuality. However John is known for being....lucky

>>718894820
Samus x black men is the true canon though.

>>718894272
>>718895110
Now post the next part where halo is a girl

>>718894064 (OP)
Master Chief is Samus' wife

>>718894064 (OP)
I thought that Metroid's gf???

>>718894820
doomguy is john's dad don't be a weirdo

>>718895559
this

>>718894064 (OP)
I think samus will be the dominant of the relationship, master chief its just too passive.

Only Haloid is canon.

>>718894064 (OP)
Master Chief is the only character in media that feels like a genuine hero you would be relieved to see irl, like he'll make everything okay.

>>718895617
Doomguy x samus is reddit

>>718895659
Their dynamic was
>short-tempered tsundere x cool guy who gets under her skin and clothes

>>718894987
no, the MC is a self insert so its claiming samus as my wife.

>>718898043
Oh fugg he's right

Imagine the blowjobs she could give thanks to her metroid genes

But Halo is a girl too...

>>718898541
That's Natasha, a Spartan II from DOA

>>718894064 (OP)
Remember /b/ub & /b/ob?

>>718898993
That's not her name you retard, it's Nicole.

>>718899179
Fuck you got me. Glad to see an old DOA fan in here though. All the new girls suck and I wish it was still a fighting game

>>718899080
No.
Remind ne?

>>718894260
This may actually help Halo, Metroid fanbase isn't as mentally ill as Halo's and the series needs healing without Xbox faggots meaning, it needs to stop trying to be the anti-Doom/Half-Life shooter of the Bungie days, stop trying to be generic tactical military shooter of 343's era of Halo and embraced Halo CE's and Infinite's campaigns while fusing them with gameplay elements from Doom and Half-Life. Also, health packs, proper boss fights, Scarab fights, and game ending Warthog time runs are a plus. Also, Master Chief is the face of the series and gives the power fantasy of a classic FPS, stick with him please and stop veering off course.

>>718895559
>>718895617
Doomguy died with the Dark Ages

>>718895659
They literally have the same personality with only difference being their genders.

>>718899778
This 100%

>>718899404
You're not an oldfag like myself. But it involves a popularity contest, and Bub & Bob was /v/'s champion against Samus.

I want to see Samus and 4-tana competing to seduce the Master Chief (who is actually me)

>>718894064 (OP)
Spartans cant reproduce

>>718898043
You will never be John Halo

>>718900825
Chief can, lore says he went through the augs unscathed. The sex drive thing is nothing more than a reddit meme and it needs to stay there for retards who get English written lore incorrect. It's why I say a Halofags opinion on something is as good as dirt. They barely even know their own lore.

>>718900825
wtf did you not follow the ilovebees thing? One character is literally the daughter of a spartan.

>>718900793
>4tana
Lololol

>718901306
bait

>>718901306
How do we keep letting women in leadership positions when all they do is cause drama and fuck things up

>>718901753
she didnt do anything wrong
she was forced to be stuck in space and ran out her lifespan.

>>718894064 (OP)
>parkdale
Where's her cock?

>>718901306
>>718901753
>>718901795
Yeah this is an issue with Marathon AIs, they just all go bonkers if you leave them on too long, kind of like star wars droids but actually smart

>>718901885
7 year lifespan for old lore halo smart AI's.
Cortana actually held shit together longer than that and was 8 years old by the time of halo 4.
She was well into the rampancy period AFTER also dealing with the gravemind poking at her for some time prior.

>>718901795
He was talking about Bonnie Ross

>implying she would settle for john when doom guy exists
lol, lmao perchance

>>718905785
Doom guy is literally fucking retarded

>>718894064 (OP)
>tfw ywn tonguefuck her butthole

>>718905785
You are Gen Alpha.
Return to Reddit
Doomguy is for Isabelle
>Our system thinks your post is spam. Please

>>718906503
I'm 34 and I've never been to reddit.

>>718906503
>Return to Reddit
>Our system thinks your post is spam.

>>718906582
Yes you have and no you aren't

>>718906623
Kek

>>718906636
Nope.

>>718906503
>>718906636
>keeps posting le hickin' wholesome reddit moments as a gotcha
???

>>718894865
You wish. Halo is a story about cycle breaking.

>>718906503
based

This thread is more schizophrenic than all the blacked shit.

Where did the Samus/MC ship even come from? Don't get me wrong I don't mind it but why?

>>718906503
Making isabelle ironically edgy is reddit
Keeping both their personalities intact is fine

>>718894820
doomguy is for anthro women only

>>718901753
Men do the same things. The only things that change are the ways drama and fuck ups play out, and their timeframes.

>>718906503
>>718909903
She's his therapy dog so he doesn't go full apeshit

>>718909765
Short version:
>2001 Halo redefines fps
>shortly after Metroid adopts Halo's fps innovations
>"oh cool the sexy space lady is copying the sexy space man, I wonder if they would be ftiends?
>fan art explodes onto old internet forums (mostly gone now)
>Monty Oum jerks off to this fan art and makes an animation about it called "Haloid"
>ship becomes insanely popular even up to Halo 4's release
>Bonnie Ross kills the Halo series, the ship goes underground
>Haloid gets remade in 2019, ship resurfaces

Oldfags love angry space girl X chill cool guy space man

John Halo and Metroid Aran 4 eva

>>718909997
Actually he is only for Daisy, his beloved rabbit

>>718895318
The only canon "x Samus" that exists is a computer x Samus

>>718910215
Case in point

>>718910027
No.
Women are cultural acid.

>>718895514
Toxotransmosis moment.

>>718900229
Against Master Chef you mean.

>>718910257
You do not understand humanity at all.

>>718909765
It's because Prime is a sci-fi FPS that came out around the same era as Halo. That's it.

>>718910172
>>718910337
Neat, I'm up for it. Better than Cortana at least

>>718910589
lol

>>718910589
We have fun here. I'll post some of the endearingly bad fan art from back in the day. Give me like half an hour

I just don't think John is the type of guy to fuck

>>718910887
Or suck

>>718910887
Halsey disagrees
>there is a reason he is the only 6yr old whose name she mrmorized

>>718911001
Canonically, in the Halo universe, every woman wants to fuck the Chief, Cortana described him as handsome without the helmet.

>>718894510
I always imagined John with dark brown hair to be honest. Jet black hair doesn't seem to fit him somehow

>>718912232
He canonically has brown hair, don't know why that guy gave him black hair.

Sex with balls

>>718910709
The Rookie x Sangheli/Brute shit was already weird but I guess infinite was ass that Halo fans are now into a form blacked type content. Why are edits and captions so popular in the degen scene now?

>>718894272
Monty sucks at choreography glad that cat killed him.desu

>>718910709
Is that a butt? Nice.

>>718912634
Nice bait

>>718913359
This is the kind of autism I miss, like a time capsule

Samus Halo
John Metroid

>>718913359
>Sora and Sonic
Fucking hell this is how you know its some prime autism

>>718913835
Metroid Chief,
Master Aran

>>718913812
isn't this a flag of some soviet republic?

>>718913865
Kek

>>718894064 (OP)
Why are her hands so tiny?

>>718915913
Didn't eat her vegetables

I wish i was the one on the left

Im a 36 year old male btw

>>718895057
They aren't eunuchs, the glowies just pump them so full of growth hormones and mental conditioning at a young age that their reproductive systems and sex drives just stop working. Spartan IIs looked like grown adults and were killing innies before they were 12.

>>718894820
You'd think Doomguy x Samus would be more common, since Doom came out 8 years before Halo and Metroid's even older, so why did people decide on Master Chief x Samus? Is it the fact that Doomguy shows too much face?

>>718916414
Doomguy already has a cute rabbit wife

>>718916512
And Master Chief has Cortana, and Metroid has an entire construction company of space pirates remodeling her shitter on a regular basis

>>718916438
Alright, that's fucking cute.

>>718916414
>You'd think Doomguy x Samus would be more common
No I wouldn't.

John and Samus have more in common.
Doomguy is literally too angru to shit you think he can go on a date??

>there will be a time when people will have 10/10 robo gfs who you can tell to enact various scenarios for you every day
>today I want you to enable the sexy goth gf scenario
>today I want you to enable the shy country girl with huge tits that wants me to be her first scenario
>today I want you to enable the complete whore addicted to my cock scenario
>We probably will miss out on all this

It hurts so bad bros

>>718917120
He's only angry while fighting demons. He's clearly capable of relaxing and being normal when not faced with the armies of hell, as implied by this screen. The last screen in D2 even mentions him looking forward to rebuilding Earth

>>718917495
Bold of you to assume he isn't doing it angrily

>>718917664
Don't fall for the memes

>>718894272
>Haloid
But Master Chief is a girl in that.

>>718918034
Bold of you to assume he didn't do it angrily

>>718918117
Yeah?
Don't be a faggot.

>>718894148
>in trust we are
What?

>>718919152
In.
Trust.
We.
Are.

Welcome to the comfy thread

>>718894064 (OP)
Master Chief is for is AI girlfriend
Samus is for ____me____

>>718894064 (OP)
do women like it when they're treated like this

>>718894820
>Halo
>4chan
Clearly you weren't here before. Halo is, was and it'll always be a series for dumb children and we shat on it daily. You just grew up with it to realize how shit it is. See pic related? Older than you.

>>718920793
Wannabe oldfags are sad

>>718894064 (OP)
That's his mom

>>718912574
kinda gay bro

>>718920981
Even better

>>718916239
>Spartan IIs looked like grown adults and were killing innies before they were 12.
Wait... does that mean Samus x Chief is shotacon?

>>718921448
There's a 15-year age gap between them

>>718920793
>i posted it again!
Lol. U mad Quake fag?
Strafe into my fist.

I never expected that something like this to even exist

>>718921528
Why do millennials constantly death spiral over zoomers these days?

>>718921495
>>718921448
Nice

>>718921579
Because a lot of millennials are unhappy and feel like youth is wasted on the young

>>718921579
They are a wretched, lowly race

>>718921716
They single handedly ruined the internet with censorship

>>718916618
cortana is cuck coded

Samus right now eats flood creatures
I wonder how'd she do in the halo universe

>>718894987
100% correct

>>718921785
I promise that if this thread gets desttoyrd, it will be a millennial mod

>>718917120
We rarely see Doomguy interacting with anyone who isn't a demon or UAC employees, and he doesn't have a high opinion of either. If you pay attention to the text blurbs and his non-demon interactions it actually shows he's not the rage golem reddit thinks he is, even if he's almost mute.

>>718924361
angery doomguy is a comic thing I think. The only instance of him being angry is the brief blurb in the manual for doom 1 where it says he punched a superior officer for being abusive towards either civilians or his staff, I can't remember

>>718924361
>We rarely see Doomguy interacting with anyone who isn't a demon
That's the way he likes it

Samus x me. Haloguy is for the glowing blue woman.

>>718924534
In Doom 1 and 2, yeah. By 64 his sanity is slipping and he keeps having reoccurring nightmares according to the manual. He chooses to stay in hell but it wasn't for the fun of it, he's just hyperfocused on his goal of exterminating all demons.

>>718924969
>reoccurring nightmares
Like DOOM 64.
Who tf thought Doom shouldn't have q soundtrack?

sorry, but samus is for ridley only

>>718895110
Come gather round pilgrims wherever you roam

>>718925257
No

>>718921579
Because zoomers can enjoy cool things like boobs, Hitler and violence while millenials were buck broken by holocaust classes at school

>>718925439
This

>>718925190
It's dark ambient, I'd compare it to Quake's soundtrack. It's actually very fitting for Doom, it worked just as well in the playstation port of 1/2

>>718925724
Nah man 64 was the series low point. It understands doom less than doom 6 does

>>718925848
Eternal/Dark Ages exists. turning Doom into a shitty Marvel movie is actually awful, I fail to see the problem with leaning into horror themes in a series about killing demons in hell.

This thread is so fvcking kino...

>>718926148
Stay a while.
How are you?

>>718928103
I always want to know the story of that one.
Are they leaving somewhere because she is in a hiff so he is thinking about their car?
Or is she taking him sonewhere and he is thinking "hurr durr broom broom

I want a girl to look at me the way Samus looks at her husband

What is their sex life like?

>>718928240
Obviously they're heading off to school. Samus wants to walk there but Chief rather drive up to the front gate in his warthog recklessly to look cool.

Hey lurkers, say hi you shy faggots

>>718928867
Holy fuck that us adorable and I never thought of that.
>i want to walk with you damn it. Its romantic!
>but car...

>>718894820
This, doom is peak reddit.
Samus deserves better than an angry mute manlet that collects funko pops.

>>718929304
She prefers a chill quiet tallcel that collects skulls.
I have also taken shits older than doomguy x ssmus

Spiderman is for that blue fire emblem girl and not Morrigan btw.

>>718929472
Holy fuck.
Ancient.

>>718895923
Halo is gay, therefore more reddit than Doom

Friends, companions, I salute you all

>>718929851
Mommy didn't buy you an xbox?

>>718929996
Why would I play FPS on console like a fag?

Sammy doesn't care about Master Chief, he's just a little wimpy soldier boy simping for his dead AI gf and an authoritarian military junta. Samus is too busy blowing up planets, extincting entire species, and eating OP alien viruses for breakfast to care about romance.

>>718928751
>CLANK CLANK CLANK CLANK CLANK CLANK

>>718894064 (OP)
I wouldn't lety wife give me a blowjob since it would make kissing her later on icky.

>>718930347
>romance
She'd keep him around to maintain her ship and for stress relief from her missions.

>>718930875
You never came on your own mouth by mistake? Eventually you get used to it, imagine being disgusted by your own cum lol.

>>718931090
>by mistake
Sure, Anon, that's absolutely what happened

>>718918846

Holding out for at least one of the green men in the future Smash game

>>718930680
Kek

>>718931145
>edge
>cum comes out strong
>mouth was open because I was moaning
It's extremely easy to happen, and I guarantee it happened a least a few times with most dudes, though few will admit it.

>>718931439
I'm not saying it's impossible, but most guys will just give in to curiosity

>>718931192
Based

>>718894820
Samus x Little Mac is 4chan.

>>718894064 (OP)
would her parents approve of this relationship?

>>718894064 (OP)
John Halo marrying an alien?
Might as well marry Arby

>>718928751
You know how Metroids absorb all forms of energy including biological 'life energy' ?
Every time Chief plaps in her, Samus dies a little because she can literally feel his seed is barren - from all the fucked up hormones and other drugs pumped into Spartans created via the Spartan II program.

>>718937089
Would metroids be immune to the flood? Can Samus gobble them up for a quick snack?

Hot take, but I say Bitterman is the best FPS hero to ship her with since they have more in common
>Whole family dead
>One man alien genocide
>Barely human genespliced freak
>Got trapped in a crossover fight dimension