Oh boy let's play some Mario Kart

>start knockout tour online
>race begins, giant ass straight road
>first item boxes break, all hell immediately breaks loose
>get hit by shell, ice flower, and flattened by a mega mushroom
>start to make my way back up the ranks, decide to take a shortcut with an item
>lightning, lose my skip mushroom, get picked up by lakitu, fall into dead last
>knocked out of the first gate

Is this shit supposed to be a video game or just a dice rolling simulator? Also Mario Kart thread