Thread 723061784

>>723061784 (OP)
I don't want to reproduce because I don't want to get replace by my offspring. Maybe later I'll change my mind. But there must be somehting better... to do, isn't there?

YOU LED THE MUGGLES TO HOGWARTS!?

>Yes, yes, well done Slytherin, well done Slytherin.
>HOWEVER
>What is it, exactly, that you have created? Can you name even one thing? I thought not.

LEEEEAAAVE THE FUCKIN CITY NOOOooOOOoooOOOWWWWW he screamed calmly at the top of his lungs, suppressing tears of rage

Potter, you really shouldn't be out there. At the moment I wave my wand as I cast DEH, this school will be bathed in deadly magic that has yet to be named by the Ministry. Perhaps when I'll have the leisure to teach the spell to others, I'll name it after you. That way, you won't be completely forgotten! When the school collapses, I'll be far away from here; on another continent, as a matter of fact. You, on the other hand, will be destroyed in every way it is possible to be destroyed and even in some which are essentially impossible even by magical standards!

>>723061784 (OP)
This actor was a bad dumbledore for every movie he was in except for half blood prince, then he FINALLY figured it out, and still wasn't quite as good as the original. The original has whimsy, this one was too serious. The original felt calm and always in control of the situation, this one always felt surprised or confused, and way too serious and loud.

>>723062803
based and kek'd

>>723062305
>Can you name even one thing?
The Chamber of Secrets?

>>723062836
>The original has whimsy, this one was too serious
That's the entirety of Harry Potter in a nutshell.
1 & 2 (especially 1) are good kids movies, with a simple hero's journey, some good moral lessons, some spooky moments and a lot of dumb fun. They're a good watch because they don't try to be smart, deep, mature stories full of DARKNESS.
Then, from 3 onwards, it all went to shit.
They should have ignored the shitty books entirely and kept doing funny movies for kids.

>>723063789
They're waiting for you Potter. In the snek chamberrrr.

>>723062803
Haha

>>723063917
The movies are all absolute dogshit buddy. The first few books are pretty good but the series takes a nosedive in quality at the fifth entry.

HARRY DID YOU PUT THAT CAN IN THE TRASH CAN OF FIRE

I love when Dumbledoor said "you shall not pass" and stole the hot air balloon.

>>723064106
>The movies are all absolute dogshit buddy
For kids? Acceptable adventures of a little boy in a strange land of weirdness and magic
>The first few books are pretty good
The books are unreadable feces since line 1 of chapter 1 that only someone who never read a book in their life before (pre-grade children) could stomach.

>>723061784 (OP)
Even being turned into a sexless stalker by our alien overlords pales in comparison to the torture of watching the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

/tv/cord mentally illness raid

Why didn't the Ministry just set a Taboo on the Unforgivable Curses? The death eaters were able to snag Harry within literal seconds of him breaking it, it seems like an extremely powerful law enforcement tool. Also how come Harry used Unforgiveable Curses a bunch of times in the last book but was still forgiven?

>>723065015
because the Ministry uses the curses to extract information and kill undesired people

>>723064490
>Wuthering Height in Shit-Tier
I won't call you names, but based on this image, I now know a lot about you.

>>723061883
>But there must be somehting better... to do

Snapes was a better man than fucking nazi scum Potter deserved

>>723065554
A male
It's a soap opera for women

>>723065554
it's a bait image, newfag

>>723062803
KEK

>>723063917
>with a simple hero's journey,
The hero has nothing of his own, he is dragged by force to the finish line, he is uncurious, passive,
>some good moral lessons
Just have insurance money from your dead parents and friends who will carry your dead weight to the finish line?
>>723065015
Because there is no worldbuilding in harry potter.
the most "evil" "unforgivable" spell just kills you instantly on the spot with green flash.
Your soul remains, you aren't ripped apart in torment, you just die.
Creating a horcrux is bad because uhhhh you split your soul o algo and need to murder someone for it, which has no real definition on why it's bad
>you are destined straight for hell?
not really
>you can't go to heaven?
nope

>>723064490
Go back to heaven bloom

The virgin Harry Potter wizards:
>hide away from the non-magical folk to avoid being genocided
>avoid using their magic on non-magical folk
>hide their school in the middle of the cold and damp ass highlands
>wave little twigs around
>couldn't stand up to one dark lord and two dozen cronies
>only eat big dinners at school
>rise the ranks by reading books, passing tests and making new discoveries like a bunch of nerds
>most powerful wizard got his title by cheating with the Elder Hax Wand
>afraid of death

The Chad Discworld wizards:
>live among non-magical folk, openly display their magical status
>use their magic on anyone who fucks with them, give zero fucks
>put their school smack bang in the middle of their world's biggest city
>use solid oak six foot staffs with knobs on the end
>can stand up to dragons, elves, Things from the Dungeon Dimensions and even the Auditors of all reality
>eat big dinners their whole lives
>rise the ranks by 86ing their superiors
>most powerful wizard fucking earned his title by being too robust and sharp to kill
>summon death to ask him trivial questions

>>723066183
>Just have insurance money from your dead parents and friends who will carry your dead weight to the finish line?
That's a good lesson. Children need to learn that most of you life is predetermined at birth.

>>723062305
>Let's have a school house for morally corrupt people. That sounds like a good idea.
I'm not a big HP fan and I never watched all the movies. Can someone explain why Slytherin exists?

>>723066183
>and need to murder someone for it, which has no real definition on why it's bad

You can't get much more evil than "I won't regret killing you so I can live forever."

me casting eat slugs on volandemort in front of all his subordinates causing his authority to fall into the abyss

>>723066464
Real world reason: to be the bad guy house.
In-universe reason: Hogwarts was founded by two wizards and two witches who all chose students with different qualities. Gryffindor wanted the brave, Ravenclaw wanted the smart, Slytherin wanted the ambitious and Hufflepuff took the rest. And Slytherin was also an asshole who thought that only purebloods (wizards with no Muggle ancestry (that they'll admit to)) should attend Hogwarts so he also only took them into his house, and eventually the Slytherin house (d)evolved into the rich pure-blooded gits who have no ambition except to be bullies and live off Daddy's money house.

>>723066464
>Can someone explain why Slytherin exists?
In a meta sense?
Because it's written like shit.
In universe?
Because originally the magic school was founded by four wizards and witches, and each one had a different philosophy about magic and their role in the world, so they chose to separate their followers and each taught their subsect of magic users how their should use magic and why, and slowly their personal biases and choices became the guiding principles of each House in Hogwarts.
Salazar Slitherin tought that wizards are special and should not mingle with non-wizards, and if they have to it would be better for wizards to rule over normal humans.

>>723066721
When even a fucking piece of headwear knows that the house system you practically worship is fundamentally flawed and you keep it anyway, there is no helping you.

Hogwarts is wakanda for foids.
>>723066384
Well, potter doesn't really utilize his dead parents insurance money despite having a vault full of gold.
>>723066478
You could kill death row inmates, drug dealers, child porn producers.
I meant that the splitting your soul thing being bad, murder by definition has no moral wiggle room to justify it.
It could've been prevented by establishing that after death intact souls go to some sort of afterlife while split, damaged or incomplete souls are condemned to an un-existence of torment on this earth and eventual obliteration where not even a memory remains.
>>723066651
They forgot that halfbreeds or mudbloods or whatever can be prank-rape babies thanks to
>polyjuice potion allowing identity theft
>paralysis spells making rape trivial
>memory wipe spell making you forget about rape entirely
despite stolen valor being a focus of the 2nd book, rowling never once stopped to consider the broader implication.

>>723066651
>and eventually the Slytherin house (d)evolved into the rich pure-blooded gits who have no ambition except to be bullies and live off Daddy's money house.
But by this point it's not the faculty that decides who gets where but a talking magic hat that can analyze your nature and personalty so how does nepotism come into place?

>>723066803
>It could've been prevented by establishing that after death intact souls go to some sort of afterlife while split, damaged or incomplete souls are condemned to an un-existence of torment on this earth and eventual obliteration where not even a memory remains.

They kinda established that since Voldemort's final fate is to be stuck under a bench as the bastard lovechild of Gollum and Meat from Mortal Kombat, as a direct result of mutilating his own soul.

>>723066803
>potter doesn't really utilize his dead parents insurance money despite having a vault full of gold
Funnily, he uses the money he gets from "winning" the Tri-Wizards tournament to finance Fred & George's Joke Shop because he knows he doesn't need such a small sum in the long run, with all the gold he already has
Another good moral
>if you come from a financially challenged family, just be friend with a super rich dude whose pocket change can finance a whole ass enterprise and you too can escape poverty
It's even funnier than every time Ron is shown to struggle with his finance Harry doesn't give a fuck even if he could buy the Weasely a house for each member of their brokeass family

>>723066803
>prank-rape babies
Don't they also have love potions? Yeah, it's incredibly easy to fuck with them

>>723066898
It's a vicious cycle by the present. Anyone who doesn't buy into pureblood supremacist rhetoric or aspire to be the next Dark Lord will stay the hell away from Slytherin, so who's left? Those whose families have been Slytherins for generations.

>>723067308
>Don't they also have love potions?

Not only that but it's also socially acceptable to sell them to teenagers, horny hormonal teenagers.

>>723067072
When malfoy bought his way into the quidditch team and then also went head to head with potter, potter didn't bother to use his infinite money to also equip his own team. to equalize the money advantage
>>723066983
>afterlife is just a bus stop
>population: Amber Volakis from house md, voldemort shaped meatwad, Dumbledore
>>723067308
yeah but love potion fucks with your affection which has somewhat of a plausable deniability compared to straight up
>wham paralyze, rape, memory wipe, fireplace teleport outta there.

>>723063917
Losing Chris Columbus is the biggest reason for the massive quality drop.

>>723062836
They forgot to tell the new dumbledore that he was gay.
I am 100% serious. It was a crucial part of the character evident from the first book.

>>723067434
>Amber Volakis from house md

Well, I couldn't complain about spending all of eternity with her...

>>723064248
Tranny detected

>>723064490
That image has to be rage bait

>>723067434
>When malfoy bought his way into the quidditch team and then also went head to head with potter, potter didn't bother to use his infinite money to also equip his own team. to equalize the money advantage
In the same book when Minerva uses her private money to equip Potter with an high-end tech broom to win is written like a good thing, when every time a professor uses their influence to help Slytherin is seen as bad

>>723067598
I'm not and you're mentally ill.
The books are terribly written slop, the movies are fun because the staff understood how to make a good spectale for kids.

>>723065554
I've never read it but I believe it despite the image being an obvious shitpost, women cannot write good books, simply isn't possible. They can occasionally have good and extremely influential ideas, such as in Frankenstein or Harry Potter, but certainly the content otherwise within is tripe.

>>723067752
Yeah literally only trannies do this “I wanna be a Disney adult but uhhh death of the author I hate women reee” shit

>>723067808
Retard detected, post rejected

>>723066651
>>723066721
I still don't get why the other 3 allowed the asshole wizard supremacist to be one of the founders. Their philosophies differ but they are not incompatible, it's Slytherin who is the odd one out. Like we are supposed to believe they were better people but they didn't seem to mind? Or was it a compromise to keep him close kind o thing because otherwise he would have started his own thing teaching in secret or something.

>>723064490
You typed all that shit, but mark my words, in 50 or maybe 100 years Harry Potter will be elevated to the pantheon of angloid literature to be there next to Tolkien, angloid literary scholars will be writing prolonged treatises on it, and you, or someone just like you, will respect it very much. Such is the absolute state of angloid literature.

>evil wizard founder who spawned a millennia of conflict in Britain was the Irishman
What did Rowling mean by this?

>>723067992
>You typed all that shit

>>723064490
>"No!"
Always gets me.

>>723066803
>>polyjuice potion allowing identity theft
if you rape someone while polymorphed and get them pregnant, do they carry the child of whoever it is you poly'd into, or do they get Your genes specifically?
Could you get a child with 3 sets of genes to choose from if you get pregnant while polyd?

>>723067940
Slytherin wasn’t an overt pureblood supremacist. It’s just the house of ambition, which isn’t necessarily bad. If it weren’t a series for kids the positive side of that could have been explored more, but even in the books the people developing new magic were generally slyths despite ravenclaw allegedly being the smart ones.

>>723067992
Weeeeeeelllll looky here boys, we dun got ourselves a newfag!

Attention shoppers: Snape kills Dumbledore

>>723067992
The funniest part of this is that you can say it without realizing that LOTR is absolutely worthless boomer slop with negative literary value that mainly just contributed to the rise of genre cancer.

>>723068365
God, imagine having such terrible opinions and spreading them on the internet without a hint of shame or embarrassment.

>>723068249
I'd assume that the cum would revert to your own as the potion expires if not as soon as you ejaculate.
I assume that switching sex with the potion, getting pregnant in a stolen female identity would turn the fetus into a foreign object like a teratoma or a tumor once it expires, what would happen if someone had a 12 months stock of a female form polyjuice potion got pregnant and successfully carried the child to term

but again, rowling was too fucking retarded of a worthless bongladeshi whore to think about anything beyond the literary equivalent of keyjangling in her fantasy saga.

>>723066183
>you are destined straight for hell?
>you can't go to heaven?

Yes to both but they don’t talk about it as much in the movies, Voldemort’s mangled soul is just trapped for eternity in a void and an afterlife is confirmed to exist by ghosts, which are from wizards who were too afraid to go to the afterlife

>>723067883
What the fuck are you talking about
I said the movies are ok FOR KIDS
Not for me, an adult

>>723068365
>genre cancer
>he says on /v/
I'm sure all the games you play are academic biographical studies

>>723068467
Tolkien is young adult entertainment literature without any serious value. It's just wanked to hell by angloid academia due to realizing that they have absolutely nothing to show in this department.

>>723067940
>I still don't get why the other 3 allowed the asshole wizard supremacist to be one of the founders
They were all isolationists and thought non-wizards should be left on their own, one way or the other, which is why the Wizard States are all hidden.
He wasn't very different from the average wizard when it came to this.

>>723068753
I didn't ask for more of your terrible opinions, I was merely commenting on them.

>>723064490
Huh haven't seen this pasta in a while, it's the envelope line that gives it away

>>723068365
t. Has never read it, maybe watched the movies, and bases all his opinions on people seething about him based purely on what one cancerous American publisher did using him as an inspiration.

>>723068753
Tolkien is wanked to hell because it’s Christian same reason Narnia is. Christians always support any media made like that for good boy points

>>723064490
based cultured anon

>>723068365
>literary value
meaningless buzzword

>>723068783
Nobody asked for your peer pressure molded opinion either, yet here you are lmfao

>>723068995
>You just think Tolkien is good because people told you he was good. Wake up sheeple!
About the level of intellectual rigor I expected from such a terminal contrarian.

>Silmarillion
Ok
>LOTR
Mediocre
>The Hobbit
Dogshit

It's kinda like with Dune, only Messiah is good and the rest ranges from meh-to-shit

>millennials are still waiting for their Hogwarts invitation letter
Grow the fuck up, you failed adults! Holy shit no wonder every generations despised you lots.

>>723069031
Well, it's technically good when only taking angloid literature into consideration. That's why it's so universally exalted by them, to the point of a negative opinion on it being simply unthinkable. However, when you take the whole world literature into consideration, it doesn't amount to anything beyond YA entertainment pulp.

>>723069161
Why do you keep typing these terrible opinions? Do you take my engagement as consent? I suppose this will have to be my final reply then. Enjoy your last word or whatever.

>>723068881
Yep. This phenomenon is also behind the “success” of Twilight and Brandon Sanderson.
LOTR people are just fatter, older twihards.

>>723069050
>Silmarillion
>Ok

>>723068753
This is from my personal copy of the 1972 edition of the World Book Encyclopedia.

>>723068560
>rowling was too fucking retarded of a worthless bongladeshi whore to think about anything beyond the literary equivalent of keyjangling in her fantasy saga.
true
hell, screw all the ways of raping someone without being caught, she introduced easy time travel for one book and just handwaved it as if it wasnt the worlds most fucked up thing to add to your worldbuilding

>>723069050
Dune is an actual work of evil whose popularity made me lose any remaining faith in humanity as a species.

>>723067992
>writing prolonged treatises on it
wait until you realize that's what youtube essays will amount to

>>723064490
>books
>not every single one of them in the tldr tier list
>books
>in my video game board
What the fuck?

>>723067940
It was literally, unironically, a different time. Back when Hogwarts was founded it was a full-blown war between muggles and wizards and wizards population were so miniscule and deaths happen every day. Even Godrix uses a sword to cut down motherfuckers alongside his spells. Salazar, Godric, Helga, and Rowena were the 4 most powerful wizards and witches back then (in Europe) and Hogwarts started as a sorta orphanage/shelter for young spellcasters to avoid getting massacred. It only becomes racial and pedigree issues when things have stabilized.

>>723069161
What books do you like?

>>723068836
>Harry did throw the can into the trash of the combine
>Dumbledore asked calmly

>>723066332
based discworld appreciator

>>723064490
>Anons responding to this as if it was sincere instead of an old as fuck pasta

>>723071667
>anon responding as if the people he's talking about are over 18

>be muggleborn
>be sorted into hufflepuff
how do you come back from this? is it over from the get go or could you somehow manage to become a respectable wizard, lead a meaningful life, and get a slytherin pureblood gf?

>>723071997
Hufflepuff can get by just pretending to be from Gryffindor. You just have to hide your power level.

>>723066332
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVswEfeWao0&t=86s

>>723072370
Watch Soul Music, Christopher Lee plays Death and the songs are legitimate bangers.

https://youtu.be/9UIlZUeGbjQ

The whole House system just screams to me that JK Rowling could not imagine worldbuilding without dragging the traditional British class divide into it.

>>723064490
>all those newfags exposed by one simple post

>>723062305
Merlin was in Slytherin, and he invented tons of spells or something

>>723066464
>morally corrupt people.
snape was a good guy, he was just cucked by Harry's dad who was an actual asshole

>>723073006
He was literally in the wizard nazi club, but alright

>>723072558
the sheer soul of the soundtrack is truly phenomenal. Nobody would have cared if they just had a few clips and called it a day, but they went all in with the journey of rock and roll.

>>723061784 (OP)
I miss her bros

>>723073062
yeah but then he became dumbledoors buddy pal, he wasn't completely evil

>>723073006
no he wasn't. the only difference between him and James was that James had friends. Lupin, the only objective adult who was there, made it clear they both fucked with each other at every opportunity.
A good person also wouldn't act like a spiteful cunt 20 years later to children who had nothing to do with it.

>>723067649
yes, newfag, it is

>>723073105
https://youtu.be/cVRmWKL4b7k

>>723073131
Dumbledore also was into wizard nazism as a young man, so takes one to know one I guess.
I'm not the only one to say this, but Dumbledore being a self-hating Slythering would suit the character much better.

>>723073113
Really daring of Jam City to kill off Merula at the end of the story

>>723073296
Anon, it wasn’t your fault, but this isn’t healthy.

>>723066464
The real answer is that it's a children's book and it wasn't written to stand up to the scrutiny of people with fully developed brains.

>>723073006
Snape is a prototypical incel, he's bitter and hateful towards everyone because the girl he liked dated another guy, a guy that used to tease him and that mindbroke him to the point of him entering into schizoid nazi clubs. Many such cases on 4chan. He's a flawed person, obviously he tried to redeem himself in the end but he's spent most of his life being a shithead. James is just a unbothered normalbull who was bored in school and wanted to mess around a bit with the weird greasy incel guy to pass time, but was overall a heroic and good person who did nothing wrong.

>>723071997
You dedicate yourself to finding a specific potion and blow yourself up in the process of trying to concoct it.

>>723062240
QUIRREL'S ORDERS!

>>723068292
NOOOOO YOU BITCH

>>723062803
lmao

>>723073381
Also let's not forget that he was totally down with letting the leopards eat everyone's faces, until the only person he actually gave a shit about got her face eaten, and only then did Snape think that maybe letting the leopards have free reign was a bad idea.

>>723073174
>sexually assaulted a child
>heroic
No

So does wizard racism only focus on muggleborns, and people with muggle blood, while ignoring differences in ethnicity or nationality?
Imagine a group of purebloods attempting to bully a muggle-born wizard by only calling him a "mudblood" while he responds by calling them a storm of slurs and insults that would make a /pol/fag blush in envy.

>>723073381
Considering that Peter Pettigrew who was characterized as a weird, a bit dumb and awkward kid still was part of James's core friend group in school, portraying James as someone who would tease weird incel kid feels a bit off. Then again, Peter was a Gryffindor so it inherently makes him cooler than those Slytherincells.

>>723074234
It's a book series for kids, so Rowling probably didn't want to have Draco calling nu-Hermione a nigger, or have James give nu-Snape a wedgie while calling him a nigger. Wouldn't be very PG-13 friendly. There's multiple indian, black, and east asian characters in the books and they never get treated differently because of their ethnicities, so in the setting it really is just muggleborn-halfblood-pureblood as the class distinction.

>>723074234
Muggleborns can use the internet so they have an unfair advantage when it comes to learning slurs.

>>723074496
Meanwhile the one Asian character is basically called Chinky Chonk.

>>723074585
The one black man in Ministry of Magic is named Kingsley Shacklebolt.

>>723074585
Well, goblins are also very obviously inspired by jew stereotypes, I think it's just Rowling being a white boomer woman who at that point grew up in a 95%+ white england and didn't really know what was sensitive or insensitive according to modern standards, but she probably didn't mean anything bad with it considering she's been a lib feminist her entire life, bar the modern troon stuff. Ching Chong is a completely healthy name for a young east asian girl, chud.

>>723074715
And the one Irish character is basically called Potatogobbler McGee.

>>723068836
people were saying that before the movies
it used to be the standard highbrow opinion on tolkien

>>723074772
Don't forget, he constantly keeps blowing something up in the movies

>>723074234
>So does wizard racism only focus on muggleborns, and people with muggle blood, while ignoring differences in ethnicity or nationality?
I mean there's so much racism to be had against magical creatures like Veela and Goblins, that a black dude or a yellow dude who is descended from a long like of witches and respects traditions is your equal versus some muggleborn fuck who knows nothing and yet magical society now has to baby them and revolve all around them to keep the secret safe since they're prone to fuck it all up. So if you need an answer Purebloods are too busy being racist against so many things to care about skin color cause face wizards gotta stick together

>>723061784 (OP)
with all those horny teen wizards experimenting with freaky spells, throwing up a contraceptive barrier around the school would be a no-brainer

>>723074824
And let's not even get started on lycanthropy being a ham-handed HIV analogy!

>>723074904
>Racism was not a problem on the Discworld, because—what with trolls and dwarfs and so on—speciesism was more interesting. Black and white lived in perfect harmony and ganged up on green.

Isn't it crazy how Discworld has a relevant quote for literally every discussion?

>>723074908
Pure-blood families are already dying out and you'd want to lower the birth rates even further? Why are goblins like this?

>>723071997
Yet Hufflepuff ended up with Cedric who was the chadiest Chad of the bunch until Harry got him killed.

>>723075030
>Pure-blood families are already dying out

If they want to Gaunt themselves out of the gene pool, I say let them.

>>723074234
Didn't Rowling shove all the Balkan countries into one Wizarding school in whatever European country, while in Asia, the Chinese Koreans and Japanese are all in one school in Japan, and all of SEA and Australia are in another school?
Those places might make Azkaban look like a caring preschool from the competitive racism spewed from the muggleborns and half-bloods beating out the causal racism from the purebloods.

>>723064490
Stretch your legs, anon

>>723073381
Being a bully isn't a good thing though.

>>723064490
>Clifford for President
I keked

>>723075145
The wizarding school for entire east asia is also called
>Magic (noun), Place (noun), Japan
>魔法所

>>723075046
>Irrelevant in the story
>Described as probably the hottest guy at Hogwarts, ends up dating a girl named Cho Chang who immediatly dates another guy after he dies in his teens
puffGODs deserved better.

For me, its that Key and Peele sketch about a wizarding school in the inner city.
>Tyrese give these niggas a Stupefy

>>723071997
rowling dedicated an entire book (goblet of fire) in the main series to showing that hufflepuffs can be super successful gigachads

>>723075145
There's 11 Great Schools in confederation with each other but it's open-ended enough for there to be minor schools

>>723073381
Snape is more of a simp than an incel. He never hated Lilly, just James. And a big part of that was James bullying him.
If James didn't bully him he probably wouldn't hate him.

Just imagine the sheer unspeakable amounts of RAPE that would happen if the wizarding world was real.
no witch and no muggle would be safe. just RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE

>>723075242
It's not a good thing, but well adjusted and thriving children bullying weird children to pass time is the oldest timewaster in the world. It just works, everyone enjoys it and it helps the rest of class bond and strengthen their friend groups at the cost of one or two weird freaks. And bullying can even sometimes be positive and harden you up or help you change the things about you that are bullybait, like not taking care of your diet and being fat/having acne, not styling your hair or taking showers, wanting to be a woman when you're a man, etc.

>>723061784 (OP)
Welcome! Welcome to Hogwarts!

You have chosen, or been chosen, to relocate to one of our finest remaining teaching centers. I thought so much of Hogwarts that I elected to establish my college here, in the castle so thoughtfully provided by our benefactors. I have been proud to call Hogwarts my home. And so, whether you are here to stay, or passing through on your way to parts unknown, welcome to Hogwarts. It's safer here.

>>723073381
Back in Snape's worst memory, James was just doing spells to troll and humiliate Snape, while Snape wanted to fucking murder or wound James by doing sectrusempra

>>723075394
How do the wizarding schools when one kid's speaking swedish, one danish, one german, one polish, one czech, one croatian, one greek work? Imagine the kino, it's like playing online vidya in europe, everyone just screaming at each other in tribal rune languages.

>>723075604
Probably magic

>>723075432
It clearly isn't a good thing because it creates resentment and suffering.
Also, children should not be the judge and jury of what is normal or acceptable in society.
People get bullied for things they can't change, as well. Like being ugly or having a lisp or something.
You clearly aren't a good person yourself, freak.
Most people aren't bullies. Bullies are also freaks.

>>723075432
Also, it isn't even true that people are only bullied for being weird, that's not the case.

>>723075690
Whoa, calm down buddy. That can't be good for your heart to have that much bitterness piled up over some school jokes on your account. It's just a prank man.

>>723075604
they're all in ingerland so they speak english, and other schools from the 4th book Idk, speak french? american? russian or whatever
shut up don't ask a woman questions.

>>723073381
While it was completely off-screen and stated by his buddies, James apparently did stop bullying Snape after that incident, probably to be more favorable to Lily, not to mention he was probably willing to drop the grudge and be allies with Snape in the Order, while Snape was still seething after all those years.

>>723075519
>It's safer here.

Just disregard the giant three-headed murder dog in an unlocked corridor that anyone can enter, the sentient murder tree that will beat anyone to death if they get close, and the dark murder forest full of murder monsters that will murder anyone who walks in.

>>723075690
Bro like 1% of bullying is like the stereotype, 99% of it is just a group of friends deciding that some dweeb left out is a fucking weirdo. That's how the whole ingroup/outgroup thing works.

>>723075748
>Jokes
We're taking about physical bullying, fag.

>>723075848
See>>723075896

>>723073381
>used to tease him
he undressed him infront of the entire class against his will, if snape was a woman this would be sexual assault or rape
>Many such cases on 4chan.
people who are bullied and consistently humiliated at a young age group up to be dysfunctional people, what was the expectation exactly? that humiliating someone constantly was gonna make them a better person who loves society?

>>723075954
We are?

>>723075896
Nobody got hurt, it's just messing around. Not like they stabbed Snape or damaged him for life. Like dogs play with each other and bite each other all the time, without killing each other. Just boys being boys. It's a way to bond with friends by picking on someone that's odd and doesn't fit in. Pretty normal thing by all accounts, there's a reason kids do it naturally without anyone telling them to do it. Freaks are icky.

>>723075969
Really? LMAO
James is the freak. And I would argue it's still sexual assault even if you do it to a boy.

>>723075332
that's how real life places often get named

>>723075432
>everyone enjoys it
not the people being bullied
>And bullying can even sometimes be positive and harden you up or help you change the things about you that are bullybait,
all it does is create resentment, which manifests in pure hate for the entirety of society or large groups of it
>>723075748
why are you projecting?

>>723071205
>>723071484
>discworld mentioned
hell yeah

>>723075548
But the actual context of Snape's worst memory was less about James bullying him and more about ruining his friendship with Lily when he called her a Mudblood.

>>723076202
>James is the freak.
that's the point
>And I would argue it's still sexual assault even if you do it to a boy.
i agree but some people can't make the connection unless they imagine it happening to a woman

>>723076236
Meh, let's move on bro. Y'all are taking children pranks too serious fr.

>>723075807
One is clearly french, the other who the fucks knows because it's supposed to be in bulgaria but it's just a generic eastern european caricature in line with how JK wrote about anything outside ingerland.
I think even in the books they were described speaking with a foreign accent so I suppose they were speaking english "naturally" while at hogwarts, rather than there being some translation magic.

>>723076127
See>>723075969
James was being a freak about it himself, he undressed Snape
>Pretty normal thing by all accounts
According to whom? Seems like something a freak would say.
>Not like they stabbed Snape or damaged him for life
Physical assault doesn't damage people for life, but it's still bad. It can also have a bad mental impact on someone when they are young and still developing.
>It's a way to bond with friends by picking on someone that's odd and doesn't fit in
You can bond with friends without harming people. Also, bullies don't fit in either.

>>723066464
>Can someone explain why Slytherin exists?
Slytherin actually isn't the house for morally corrupt people, so your confusion is just based on a false premise.

>>723076461
>Prank
Undressing someone in public crosses the line.

>>723076534
So James isn't a bully because he does fit in, is well-beloved and has a beautiful wife?

>>723067434
>afterlife is just a bus stop
>population: Amber Volakis from house md, voldemort shaped meatwad, Dumbledore
It was limbo, not the afterlife. And it just looked like a train station to Harry personally. The symbolism was that he could board a train that would take him to the real afterlife.

>>723076534
>Akschually James and Sirius weren't just unbothered normie chads, they were the freaks because they uh.. bullied some weird greasy incel guy!!
Yeah alright man

>>723075823
You can't expect to disregard rules and feel safe, don't be an adventurer and keep your nose on the books.

>>723076607
That's all in the future retard, when he was a bully he didn't fit in.
Most people aren't bullies.
And he stopped bullying because it doesn't work in the real world, only the artificial environment of school

>>723076787
>And he stopped bullying because it doesn't work in the real world, only the artificial environment of school
lol

>>723076665
Bullies are freaks, yes. Many grow up to be criminals. A few bullies I knew ended up becoming criminals
It's a fact that most people aren't bullies

>>723067940
What do you mean "allowed"? He literally was one of the founders.
>didn't seem to mind?
Your thinking about this is tainted by modern mutt culture. People don't generally see everything as some sort of culture war. The Hogwarts founders all had a shared goal, i.e. the education of young wizards/witches. Slytherins blood supremacy is irrelevant. Not to mention that the matter hasn't even been decided in the modern wizard world. Nobody actually knows whether the blood supremacists are wrong or not. It would be ridiculous to "cancel" him for having a contrary opinion in a scientific area.

>>723076878
I mean most people aren't stereotypical bullies, they won't give you wedgies and throw you into trash cans. It's mostly micro-aggressions and teasing/mocking to pass the time. That's very natural, everyone does it even after school. You fit into in-groups and bond together as friends much easier when you got someone to treat as outsiders and mock. Great confidence boosters too, not just time wasters and friend bonding. James was just a unbothered bull, and he obviously stopped bullying Snape later because his cute redhead gf asked him not to, and he is a good honorable person and boyfriend, and stopped to make her happy. Snape could've just moved one, took a shower and got a haircut, and found a gf. Instead he became a creepy incel, transitioned into a nazi, and hated his crush's son for looking like his father as a grown ass man. Pretty icky.

>>723077101
We are talking about physical bullying/assault which is what James did. Not teasing.
Stop trying to change the topic faggot
Also, James committed sexual assault, he undressed Snape in public. He's a freak, not a normal person.
James is not a good person just because he stopped.

>>723073003
how the fuck was merlin in slytherin when the school was founded 5 centuries after he was around?

People who sympathise with Snivellus are movie only secondaries. Alan Rickman is a cool dude. Snape is not, hes a massive faggot who bullies children and deserved quite literally everything he got.

>>723066332
Imagine actually reading Redditworld

>>723077551
It's just a prank bro. Boys being boys.

>>723077952
Snape could have been slightly nicer to Harry or less of a dick, but he still clung onto his unending seethe for James, and projected his hatred onto the kid. If Harry wasn't that kind, he would have probably insulted a dying Snape and refused to see his final memory out of spite.

>>723078156
>Undressing someone is a prank
Sure thing homosexual

>>723078242
He bullied lots of children who weren't Harry.

If we want to discuss Potter-specific grievances, he literally directly caused the murder of James and Harry because he wanted to steal Lily from them. The dude's a pig that deserves extended cruciatus.

>>723073113
it amuses me greatly how blatantly angry the devs were that people actually liked their rival character, despite being in the same franchise that spawned draco and we all know how that fucking went
i mean come on just look at this shit, nothing short of legitimate hatred could spawn this

>>723078376
Good thing the chinks learnt from their mistakes when designing the Slytherin waifu

>>723077952
You can always spot a moviefag because they think Snape being an asshole is unique to Harry, when in reality Hagrid and Percy say he’s biased, he was a colossal cunt to Neville in particular and he objectively gives slytherins preferential treatment to fuck about in his class while penalising retaliation.
The guy was a petty manchild

>>723061784 (OP)
>4chan is the last place where I can comfily discuss harry potter stuff without some tranny screaming and banning me
sad

>>723078837
Best enjoy it while you can, because the series is going to drop a dirty bomb on any discussion here too.
There’s already one schizo who stalks /tv/ and shits up threads

>>723078837
this is more because of the overall death of the fandom and centralisation of the internet

there's only like 4-5 websites that anyone uses, and harry potter isn't the most popular franchise on the entire internet by a factor of 20 anymore. so yeah gone are the old days where you could go to literally twenty different websites to discuss the series.

>>723077952
movie-snape was an actually reasonable person compared to book-snape
>more of a strict, "do the shit on the fucking board for fuck's sake i don't feel like cleaning up your entrails" kind of teacher compared to book-snape's "yeah i felt like dunking a child's pet toad in a dangerous failed potion, don't ask why i just hate everything"
>if he seems unfair, it's almost exclusively to do with harry, and most of the time it's actually reasonable shit for someone who wants to keep the kid out of danger - meanwhile book snape hates all kids ever and takes great pleasure in them suffering
>actually tries to protect kids from danger, book snape's more likely to let it happen then bitch about them letting it happen to them
>movie snape seems like he actually DID get attached to harry after all those years protecting him, meanwhile book snape gets offended and makes it very clear it's entirely because lily still gives him a boner long after her death
one feels like he actually earned his final moments, the other has people laughing over harry naming his kid after him to this day

>>723078837
Literally the only thing you need from the HP fandom is nerdy femcels writing fanfictions about a New Wizarding World Order where a Pureblood 6'3" Hitlerite Draco purchases them as muggleborn sex slaves and puts halfblood babies into them and has huge hands or something

>>723078694
>part Veela tsundere rich girl
It's like they read all those r63 malfoy fanfics and rolled with it

>>723079212
i never did read that fanfic because the summary seemed so fucking boring - seriously, why even read about a scenario where voldemort already won? - but somehow its always top rated and recommended. bitches want to get raped by malfoy almost as badly as they want him to have sex with harry

>>723073381
>>723075548
James constantly physically abused and publicly humiliated Snape, it wasn't just some mean words over breakfast. Snape is pathetic for taking it out on Harry, who takes after his mother and never knew his own parents, but he was 100% justified in considering killing James.

>>723079602
They both gave as good as they got according to the only two adults who were mostly objective about it.
James just had an advantage because he had Sirius to back him up.

>>723066332
Discworld wizards are still a bunch of nerds but it makes them even cooler.
>hp wizards see muggle-tech doesn't work around them, don't even try to experiment
>discworld wizards invent magic computer out of ants and a series of tubes, use it to get free clacks

>>723069282
The time turner is the single worst example of JK's hackery cause there's roughly a thousand events in the books where it would be useful after it's introduced but nobody uses it since. Any time anything bad happens they should immediately reverse time and have a redo.

>>723064490
I honestly can't tell if the sincere responses are obvious newfags or trolls anymore. How far this place has fallen.

>>723079212
If we wanna talk fanfics, my favorite one is Harry deciding to make a deal with Voldemort and the Death Eaters to have Wizarding England all to themselves, while he and any non-Death Eaters fuck off somewhere else. At first it seemed like a good deal for the Death Eaters, but as the years passed by, they realized that they're completely trapped in England, unable to do anything but watch as their world slowly dies.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4356667/1/Wish-Carefully

>>723079473
Cassandra a cute but I really like the Wolf girl.
Snooty Slytherin girls are always welcome though

>>723063921

I giggled

>>723079598
it's honestly a little concerning how many fanfics are just hermione/generic-mc-evil-guy, i mean jesus there's hundreds of fics of her with dolohov, the guy whose main claim to existence is hitting her with some random-ass curse that could've killed her but didn't

>>723079602
Snape's too much of a bitchmade pussy to kill James, he's buck broken. He can go home and daydream about it while crying himself to sleep as James regrets nothing and creampies Lily. He can also boil himself in frustration and hatred for decades to come, and die as a virgin incel too.

>>723066183
>Because there is no worldbuilding in harry potter.
>the most "evil" "unforgivable" spell just kills you instantly on the spot with green flash.
This, its ridiculous because its somehow okay to kill your opponent by something like lighting them on fire and watching them burn or getting them eaten by a large predator no thats fine but heaven forbid you insta kill them painlessly. Then suddenly you're literal magic hitler.

>>723079780
to be fair, it's mostly one dude working on Hex.
the other senior wizards regard it the same way my grandpa regards smartphones

>>723079814
The time tuner can't change the past retard.

>>723066464
The houses are jungian-like archetypes. Some archetypes are predisposed to certain mentalities, behaviors, etc.

>>723079298
>Redditcore

>AVADA YO MAMA!
How do you respond without sounding mad?

>>723080141
>only the girl's side is enchanted
female rapists must have a field day with that thing
like seriously harry's lucky romilda vane never thought of just going up those stairs one night and getting her chosen one jr made then and there

>>723079780
>>discworld wizards invent magic computer out of ants and a series of tubes, use it to get free clacks

But can Hex run Doom?

>>723080268
>female rapists must have a field day with that thing
yeah all 1% of them

>>723080268
Hermione claims it's because Gryffindor thought girls were more trustworthy.
Since he was norf fc, chances are he just didn't give a shit if that happened.

>>723080224
>Expel my Anus

>>723073113
Is the game still going? Last i checked the main character got a job with a shitty boss, and evert side character was miserable or struggling to adapt to becoming an adult.

>>723080268
Why go up to dorms where all beds are close to eachother when there is a "do the needful" room that was probably just a matress on the floor 90% of the time

>>723080330
well considering there's an attempted member of that 1% right there in that house, plus another one made the dark lord himself...

>>723080114
>entire plot of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child revolves around the Time-Turner changing the past
Someone should tell Rowling that.

>>723079298
It's bizarre following the evolution of Discworld. Compare the first Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy before the books got more grounded and less fun. That's how you'd expect things to go. After The Color of Magic Pratchett got more grounded but inexplicably way better

>>723079027
What’s number one nowadays? I know it's not GoT, that finale killed it for good.

>>723080114
The characters sure as fuck seem to think it can.

>>723077551
Look people like her lack the empathy to understand the concepts your putting down anon. They see James as the good guy because the narrative says so. And you can't go beyond that. They need someone else to define their morality for them. They lack free will. If the narrative is wrong then they are wrong. And that's not possible. Ergo the narrative is right.

>>723078837
shocking as it may be 4chan is basically the only website where you can discuss anything at all.

>>723080552
i actually don't know. its probably some capeshit. society overall is completely fragmented by the internet

>>723080375
marry hufflepuff hermione
fuck slytherin hermione
kiss ravenclaw hermione
kill gryffindor hermione
simple as

>>723073113
Nerula Sneed

>>723080562
In Prisoner of Azkaban it's made clear that timeis fixed and just allows the characters to be in the past they already experienced to do extra stuff during the same timeframe. They even do stuff specifically based on their memories of what happened the first time they experienced those 3 hours, like Hermione howling at Lupin or Harry realizing he had to save himself and Serius from the dementors. The only "changes" that happened were actually just reveals that their assumptions about certain events that occured were revealed to be wrong due to their own intervention.

>>723080315
It's honestly a shame Pratchett didn't get to explore that. The whole campus getting addicted to primitive computer games would have been a fun bit.

>>723068256
>despite ravenclaw allegedly being the smart ones
The same can be said about modern "intellectuals".
>I graduated from a top libshit university where the sources are literally "I made it the fuck up," that means you have to listen to what I say because I'm smarter than you! Trust the science!
Meanwhile you've got Trump who is ambitious and trying to save America from these same despotic wretches.

>>723080672
>fuck slytherin hermione
impregnate slytherin hermione with my mudblood child

>Ron lets out a large moan as he climaxes inside Hermione
>"God Hermione you are amazing" he sighs as he hugs her tightly
>Suddenly Hermione's skin begins to wrinkle and turn a pasty white, multiple liver spots begin to sprout on her back
>Ron recoils in horror as her beautiful bushy hair begins to thin out and a tooth falls out of her mouth onto the bed
>Ya thought you were fuckin' a little English girl from Hogwarts, but ya weren't fuckin' her, yer were fuckin ME! Argus Filch!
>Snape heard there were rumours of students out of bed at this time of night so he gave me tha polyjuice potion to do a little digging!
>We caught ya red-handed Weasley! You're gonna be in detention for a very long time!

>>723080415
Did a femcel create the dark lord?

ALL I'M SAYING IS
Casting Avada Kedavra on mud bloods should be decriminalized because you're doing society a favour

>>723080821
I feel like Trump is goyle-coded. I guess even Slytherin needs their low IQ retards

>>723081054
Holy kek

Couldn't the whole Snape-Harry thing be solved by Snape explaing to Harry all the shit James put him through and Harry going
>"Look Snape, I'm sorry for whatever my father did to you, but I'm NOT my father."
Or something like that?

>>723080821
People like you would do much better if you just mindlessly listened to anybody with a degree, frankly.

>>723064490
>a song of ice and fire
It actually hurts seeing this series brought up. GRRM could have been the next Tolkien, all he had to do was finish the fucking books.

>>723081463
Yeah but the books were written by a woman

>>723081463
Yes, but snake is a fucking manchild that reacts to meeting Harry like a teenager.

>>723081463
But Harry is James. The same obnoxious self-righteous cunt down to the bone. The moment he refused to give Malfoy a handshake he showed that he was nothing but an even more insufferable version of his dad (who deserved the death he got, him and his whore)

>>723081463
>erm pottah, the reason i absolutely hate your guts and want to kill you every time i see you is because your dad was mean to me 200 years ago, you see pottah, your mother was promised to me, 1500 years ago, she was promised, and your father took her from me, pottah i have spent decades gooning in my basement while thinking of james netorareing me with lily, netorare stands for cuckoldry/cheating in japanese by the way pottah, you should kill yourself now, you are really making me angry by existing and reminding me of james
>erm, get away from me you hook nosed freak!!! *AVADA KEDAVRA*

>>723080604
I want to go back man. I want the old times of decent forums and blogs

>>723080776
Them using the time turner at all doesn't make sense unless they believe they can alter the present with it.

>>723061784 (OP)
Fine city, 17. In my opinion, best city of the lot.
Why is that, Dudley?

>>723062803
deh

>>723081594
Based Harry, like father like son. TOTAL POTTER VICTORY, TOTAL REDHEAD IMPREGNATION, TOTAL SNAPE DEATH

>>723079974
>He smiled and said I was learning

>being Wizard is hereditary trait
>HP magic has bunch of spells that allow you to rape and manipulate memories with impunity
>mudbloods are therefore all magical rape babies which also explains why they are stigmatized
There, problem sorted. Canon even has precedent of this with Tom Riddle being exhibit A of magical date rape

>>723081675
>NO NONWHITES!

>>723081672
Dumbledore misled them about how it works because they were moron 13 year olds. They were only able to "change" things they didn't actually see happen

>>723081960
God I'd hate if this happened to me, I feel so unsafe with female rapists everywhere

>>723081960
How do you even rape a guy I cant get hard normally cause im so stressed

>>723063789
>What is it, exactly, that you have created? Can you name even one thing?
Majestic 12

>>723078156
>do not reupload my art
Uh oh... Anon? I think you done fucked up...

>>723081463
what if Harry was a girl that looked exactly like hus mom? how would Snape cope?

>>723081463
I mean, it would be pretty pathetic for an adult and an authority figure to whine to his tween student he hates him because he was cucked by his father. Not that seething and being petty about it is good, but it's sort of a different level, I don't think this is appropriate conversation to have with a kid under any circumstance.
Maybe there could be some sort of reconciliation when harry is an adult and snape recognizes him as a different person (if he is a different person), but not earlier

>>723082152
what are they gonna do kill m

>>723082247
a-anon?!

I don't know why I enjoy HP-related shitposts so much
They always get me to chuckle or even giggle like a moron

>>723082189
If you're flipping it then she would have James's Mocking Eyes and those would pierce into Snape's soul and cause him to rage

>>723067586
I like how everyone pretends to have liked that absolutely awful character after she died.

>>723082189
>>723082469
Now where have I seen this before...

Realistically, how many first-year girls could a determined Slytherin get away with raping before getting caught?
Asking for a friend in Ravenclaw.

>>723064490
How the FUCK does this still get people? How new do you have to be to see a massive wall of text and an elaborate obvious troll image and not even potentially suspect it’s a meme? It rage baited like 5 fucking anons before it was called out.

>>723082126
I don't like your tone of voice

>>723082756
maybe like one or two, the prefects are on watch

>>723082756
How's your proficiency in the Imperius curse? There's no possible magical method for teachers, prefects, or head boys to determine if you've been Impeiroed

I did want to read the HP ripoff called Hooky but this damn spaniard got it removed from most mangasites.

>>723082643
source?

>>723082065
Wouldn’t a paralyzation spell stiffen every part of the body

Sex with snobby hot pureblood slytherin heiresses as a muggleborn would fix me

>>723083227
I meant irl of course

>>723083082
[Minokichi] Harry Potter TS

>>723080821
College would have been a lot more fun if even 1% of what you think happens there was true.

>>723082756
Realistically all 1st graders would be raped within first month.

>>723066332
Based and factual. Discworld Witches brutally best the Harry Potter ones as well.

>>723066490
>we can fly, kill instantly, teleport, reverse time, change fate, bring back the dead
>oh yeah we can’t stop him from spitting up slugs for a full day or so, you have to wait it out
This was so fucking dumb.

>>723083250
>Not fixing her by polluting her bloodline and ruining her ability to find a husband by taking her virginity.
In a just world Slytherin would be nothing but haughty but sexy Ojou sama girls waiting for me to fix them rather than JK venting about some girl that made fun of her in high school.

>>723083082
>>723083382
Correction, by the artist: ojigi | minokichi

>>723083450
Harry Potter power levels are shit in general. Most halfway competent wizards in most franchises body even Voldermort.

>>723083642
Women don't care about autistic power level shit, I have never seen a story written by a woman that has good fights or much thought put into the combat and power scaling. That's mostly autistic male thing. I imagine Rowling just wanted to get every single combat scene over with as soon as possible and came up with shit on the spot.

>>723081997
>Dumbledore misled them
McGonagall told Hermione about wizards who had killed their past or future selves. I'd say that could be a scare tactic to avoid people messing with time travel, but if you can't alter anything it's pointless to worry about killing your past self, and you would know if you already killed your future self in the past unless it's an accident you weren't aware of.

>>723070115
youd think they would learn from their mistake of fucking with muggles, but for voldemort to fuck with them NOW, when they have machine guns, sniper rifles, planes, missiles, tanks, nukes etc... is just plain retarded.
he didnt really think this through did he

>>723075604
I don't think translation magic exists in HP considering Fudge was trying to do some retarded charades to the Bulgarian Minister after he was pretending to not be able to speak English, rather than casting a spell to translate his English to Bulgarian.

>>723083726
Nasu might be a women, and if so she absorbed all of the fight autism from every other women.

>>723083586
Knowing what depraved shit rich girls are usually into it wouldn't surprise me if slytherin girls had some sex dungeon filled with hot fit muggles

Flipendo!

>>723083382
I don't remember this scene in the movie.

>>723063921
>the snek chamberrrr.

>>723061784 (OP)
If you can magic the shit out of your ass then why can't you magic your gamete into every egg at Hogwarts?

>>723083848
>Wizards, especially pure blood girls, used to enjoy "Hunting" muggles.
Hmmm...

>>723083586
Slytherin girls are pure and fit for marriage as long as they only take it up the ass, it's only the vaginal virginity that matters and is tested with spells.

>>723081675
Because there's no sex in 17?

>>723080520
he always finds a unique way to introduce known characters from previous books in newer books.
i always liked that about his writing.

>>723083760
Since most spells are projectile based and easily stopped by just taking a cover i imagine a few soldiers with modern weaponry could genocide all wizards in a single afternoon

>>723083956
The real answer is magical abortions. That's what the main purpose of the hospital wing is.

>>723075432
>It just works, everyone enjoys it
>be American
>get shot
>how could this have happened?
>it's a mystery

>>723083902
What a pity only the first game has this feeling of magic. Same for the movie as well really.

>>723079868
>unable to do anything but watch as their world slowly dies.
what do you mean dies ? like their vision of the world ?

>>723083642
>>723084089
A sniper could also kill or incapacitate almost any Harry Potter Wizard considering they could be a long distance away from any possible spell or device that could detect their presence, unless there's some magic shield like the one protecting Hogwarts.
>INB4 someone posts the Harry Potter with a 1911 greentext

>>723084089
I mean there's a reason why it's forbidden to use spells in front of muggles. I doubt it's to protect them, it's more so that they're worried that muggles would think they're scary freaks and nuke them all. Wizards and witches are pretty weak, even someone like Dumbledore or Voldemort would get cleared by a group of soldiers with AR15s

>>723066332
I read Snuff and you could see the man losing his ability. It was fucking sad

>>723083726
Anne McCaffrey, Marion Zimmer Bradley, Melanie Rawn, Julian May, Andre Norton and especially Elizabeth Moon who went to great detail about battle strategies?

>>723084142
Chamber of Secrets is a MUCH better game than the first one

>>723075394
>this map is shit, random south american countries are in the us/canada school instead of the latin america school
>huh, Guyana's official language is English
>and French Guiana is part of France so that works
>so Suriname must speak English too
>Official languages: Dutch

I can't believe how many fics younger me read of Harry X Daphne god it was such a good pairing

>>723084137
kids only started shooting up schools *after* they started nation-wide anti-bullying campaigns. really makes you think.

>>723084242
they're all ftm trannies

>>723084261
>but it doesn't align with the muggle world
Well done

What is the wizard's defense against a machine gun?

>>723084286
Harry should have ended up with genderswapped Malfoy, everybody knows this.

>>723084261
I'm happy a shitty Harry Potter map ended up teaching you a history and geography lesson, every day can be one where we learn something if we just keep curious.

>>723084407
magic

>>723084231
Although I love all his works, I think Unseen Academicals was where it was becoming clear the sharpness was sliding away.

Also why the fuck wasn't Carrot even mentioned in Raising Steam? Captain Angua but no mention of Carrot?

>>723084286
Pansy was criminally wasted

>>723084389
If it doesn't need to align to the muggle world at all, why even follow national boundaries?

>>723084437
Or stay Autistic in his case

>>723084426
That's functionally what the pairing was without needing polyjuice/magic to genderswap Malfoy in the story, now personally I love stories where Malfoy was just born a chick but too many writers would make it prototroon angst.

>>723084286
As a kid watching the movies before the books I had a massive crush on Pansy and Hermione. Later on as I became a chud and got into the books and fanfics more I kind of lost interest in Hermione but Pansy, Daphne, and Fleur just go so hard. Pansy's actress is hot as fuck now, while the rest, especially Emma Watson aged pretty horrifically. Slytherin women just owe me sex. Simple as.

>>723084465
>AVADA-
*bang*
>-ACK

>>723084527
Because it's the map makers interpretation and coloring in blocks is easier

>Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
>>There are a couple of fantastic beasts, but they're already found and there's no mention of where to find them
>The Crimes of Grindelwald
>>Grindelwald commits no notable crimes and is barely in the movie
>The Secrets of Dumbledore
>>He's in the vanishing closet is the secret, and not even deeply because he openly discusses it with zero hesitation, there are no other secrets

Do werewolves make for good girlfriends?

>>723084479
>I think Unseen Academicals was where it was becoming clear the sharpness was sliding away.
I wonder if that's why I couldn't finish it. It didn't have the same grip on me the others did even though the topic sounded like exactly my interest.

>>723084231
Snuff still had a few good moments.

>>723084698
>The title subverts your expectations and reveals nothing, making sure you're on your toes through the entire thing and never spoiled
BRAVO ROWLING! I kneel, as expected of rowling-sama..

>>723084698
>there's no mention of where to find them
in the suitcase that's where you find them, plus like the end was him recapturing the escaped ones

>>723075394
>Wizard society has nothing in common with human society.
>Your average Wizard doesn't even know what a telephone is.
>Also all of our schools are done strictly across modern borders, many of which were ratified in our lifetime.

>>723084698
>Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
I liked it better when it was called "The Classic of Mountains and Seas"

>>723084746
genderbent characters are still gay, stop wanting to fuck men chud

>>723081487
>GRRM could have been the next Tolkien
Martin, stop posting these absurd scenarios and go back to writing, you fat fuck

>>723084174
Essentially, their ideology of maintaining pure blood slowly fucks them in the ass hard, as their economy tanks because working class left England and no other Wizarding community wants to do business with them, the resulting smaller population forced later pureblood wizards to inbreed like the Gaunts, which causes their descendants to have weaker magic or become Squibs. They can't escape England because the contract set between Harry and Voldemort forbids them from interacting with the Muggle world, which leads to the loss of their magic.

>>723084583
>Fleur
she aged like milk

>>723084898
Fuck off tranny.

>>723084698
>He's in the vanishing closet
heh

>>723084407
Not being found or having someone do the fighting for the. Wizards can manipulate memories or do space fuckery where they can hide a building in plain sight, teleport, change shape but they don't have much for defensive options against mundane threats. You can heal a lot with magic, but once you die you die, so if armed humans found a way into a hidden village wizards would just get slaughtered.

>>723082065
You can get erection even while asleep.
If your genitals are manipulated enough they will activate

>>723083712
>Heil Gryffindor!

>>723084583
>14 at the time of filming
100% legal and cute

Repopulating the Black family and saving the Wizarding World by putting twenty babies into Narcissa and Bellatrix - the story

>>723084765
It was the first one where I'd got half-way and thought "I haven't laughed". For Terry that is just sad.
Plus you haven't missed anything except perhaps Terry's single worst joke in the entire run.
I can suspend disbelief for Discworld quite a bit I really can but imagining for a second Ankh Morpork football fans chanting pic related, I can't do it, it just makes me wince.

>>723076461
>fr
zoomer newfag

>>723075394
>China, some of SEA, and Best/Worst Korea together in one school
>The entire goddamn middle east, India and Pakistan together
Holy shit, imagine being a pureblood in one of those schools and realizing that the Mud/Halfbloods will be more racist than you ever could be.

>>723084613
Don't they have shield magic against matter projectiles? Like the scene in the last film where they used it to transform glass shards into dust

>>723085068
But wizards can into tech and tech can't into wizards

>be me
>put up this thread (an old /tv/ shitpost I made in like five seconds) because I was up until 2AM watching the Harry Potter movies on Robert's Kinoplex expecting it would get like 10 replies at most
>wake up eight hours later
>it's still up with 360 replies

Did I just create a new meme?

>>723085309
now i want to stop replying

>>723085309
I didn't click because of the OP, didn't even read it, I just saw dumbledore and entered a hp thread to lust for slytherin pureblood bratty snobby rich women. Simple as.

>>723084746
Furmione was kinda hot

>>723085382
same

>>723084308
I swear those things they did where they bring all the kids in schools into gyms to teach us about self harm like bulimia and anorexia and shit was all done just to put the idea into girls heads to reduce fertility rates.
>look how much attention and sympathy you deserve for destroying your health

>>723085078
>If your genitals are manipulated enough they will activate
No, I wish you were right then I wouldn't be a virgin anymore

>>723084819
>Wizard society has nothing in common with human society.
>Your average Wizard doesn't even know what a telephone is.
The whole things makes no sense and just makes wizard society come off as absolute retards. There's lots of half-bloods or muggleborns but somehow wizards as a whole completely lack common sense. School teaches muggle-studies that are painfully and obviously wrong even though everyone has a classmate who goes back to muggle life for the summer. Ministry of magic supposedly is actually in contact with britbong government but their muggle-specialist is an actual moron.

>>723085271
You have to just assume that they do not care about the muggle world conflicts at all, since Hogwarts did not get destroyed by flying car bombs in the 70s. It's the only way that having schools on even a national level could be stable.

>>723085305
>wizards can into tech
They can do magi-tech but they don't seem to care to go much further than simple enchanted items. Muggle-tech becomes more unreliable the more magic is around.

>>723084583
>a cute
Too cute for Rowling who had her recast since she was the representation of some old bully of hers.

>>723075432
Public schools exist to force kids into being wirh their own age groups because it causes the most bullying possible and this makes everyone spend the rest of their lives living in fear of social pressures and not following the status quo. It traumatizes everyone to feel stuck in a social caste and unable to rise above the position they were in, which is "average" and afraid of stepping out of line

>>723085309
as the other guy said I just talked about hp recently and had a dream even so entered the thread out of curiosity

>>723085309
I saw a hl2 thread and entered, but only found hp shit

>>723081487
He got too comfortable and so when the difficulty of making a new book came about instead of fighting through the pain to make art like before he just decided "ah fuck it let's pitch another TV show"

>>723085576
Imagine if Arthur Weasley becomes a /k/fag and starts enhancing simple guns like revolvers and shotguns.

>>723085546
It's just pride, is my headcanon. Wizards and witches that show interest in muggle things are treated as lowlives and uncultured. And probably most muggleborns that come to wizard society try to fit in and not speak about muggle shit as it's treated unwanted and unfavorably. So it's a matter of prestige to be above muggle creations and disregard everything they do as pointless. And most pureblood families still do live really well, are wealthy, and lack for no comforts, they just don't have access to all the new tech, that they mostly replace with magic.

>>723084698
>Grindelwald commits no notable crimes
The crime of Grindelwald was trying to prevent WWII.
That's how the narrative presents it.

>>723085546
>The whole things makes no sense and just makes wizard society come off as absolute retards
It is retarded. Best argument you could hypothetically make is that muggleborn students being allowed into Hogwarts recently. But, no, it was a thing since the fucking Norman conquest.

You think they would just find non retarded people to handle the muggle side of things. In fact, you think they wouldn't even have muggle studies since about 50% of all students grew up as one.

>>723085309
Hey so was i
The nonstop uuoohh posting over Luna was funny

>>723069274
There's no such thing as "for both children and adults." A story that is simple, morally black and white, and juvenile enough to be enjoyed by children cannot provide any value to an educated adult with an IQ over 130.JK Rowling is 1000x the writer Shitkien was.
>>723071484
>>723079298
Not interestd in reading trans books from a """man""" named """Terry"""

>>723085173
There are a lot of jokes you could do about academics having a sports team and that has to be one of the worse choices.
I'd go the opposite way
>the team roster is listed as "Ridcully et al." after weeks of fighting over who gets to be first
>the crowds all love this "Al" guy but constantly argue about which one it is

>>723085778
>Wizards and witches that show interest in muggle things are treated as lowlives and uncultured.
I mean Arthur was considered to be a weirdo among his peers for being a muggleboo, not to mention Sirius had an appreciation of muggle stuff probably as a way of rebelling against his family.

>>723066464
>Can someone explain why Slytherin exists?

The same reason /pol/ exists, a containment zone to keep them from shitting up the other houses

>>723085609
pansy was recast 3 times, and two of the 4 total actresses were just background roles with no speaking lines. the final recast was a pug faced girl for the last 3 movies, and surprisingly that actress aged pretty well.

>>723085609
that recasting was absolutely criminal, she went from a 10/10 cutie to a giga femcel, why is rowling so evil bros

>>723085491
I should have added unless you got some physical illness, I guess
Also, were you awake? Your anxiety can kill your erection, but if you're sleeping your body goes into autopilot and the penis will get hard if excited by external stimuli

>>723084698
>character based off David Attenborough never got a movie where he just goes into the wild and tells you about all the crazy shit that's there

>>723080136
The Hogwarts houses are obviously based on the Hindu castes.
Brahmin - Ravenclaw (intellectuals)
Kshatriya - Gryffindor (warriors)
Vaishya - Slytherin (trade)
Shudra - Hufflepuff (pleb)
Dalits - Muggles

Also, it is insane how /v/ is basically Reddit nowadays. Not recognizing ancient pasta like >>723064490, these "Snape is an incel" takes that only a Redditor could come up with, etc.

>>723086009
Can we have a containment genre for all the modern videogames being woke shit?

>>723085967
kek, now that works.

>>723086069
>a pajeet relates to snape and has a bitchfit about people shitting on his self insert
nation of incels

>>723081151
yeah, merope gaunt used love potions on tom riddle sr to make tommy boy
according to rowling that's why he can't feel love, but i think that's a little shit since it just means that he was outright cursed to go down the route he did

>>723086069
>recognizing old pastas
Dude, have you seen how much 4chan grew in the last 20 years?

>>723085778
>Wizards and witches that show interest in muggle things are treated as lowlives and uncultured
>mudbloods and muggleborns are treated worse by default
>they bully and ostracize the only ones willing and able to just bring a gun to school and kill them all
>in a world with zero gun control
How can the wizard population still be around?

Mmmmyep, HP fanfics, now there's the good stuff.

>>723086158
>your birth and stock decides whether you're a evil subhuman or a based good ubermensch
erm

>>723085861
>A story that is simple, morally black and white, and juvenile enough to be enjoyed by children cannot provide any value to an educated adult with an IQ over 130.JK Rowling is 1000x the writer Shitkien was.
Kill yourself nigger tranny kike

>>723086069
I dont recognize any pastas because I don't read them. I don't fill my mind with useless bullshit. Imagine being proud that your brain is filled with brainrot of all kind and nothing else.

>>723086224
Enhlishmen have no guns, we don't get to see the american hogwarts and their metal detectors

>>723086128
I couldn't care less about Snape. Using internet slangs to describe characters made many years before them is indeed Reddit behavior. Also only uneducated idiot like you think i am Indian because i know the bare minimum of the Hindu caste.

>>723086224
Nigga it's a children's story, and it's in 1900s britain, nobody can just bring a gun to school. At best they could bring a knife and get expeliarmus'd

>>723085173
>>723084765
>>723084479
I didn't put much stock in the ghost writing theory until I noticed the goblins violating one of his primary rules for worldbuilding, which is that EVERY race, religion and culture was presented warts and all. Goblins are hyper competent dindus that everyone except the baddies love the second they get to know the real them, and it just feels wrong to read that in discworld.
Since Pratchett's dementia wasn't something that impacted his cognitive abilities, ghostwriting sems a pretty solid explanation for them.

>>723086252
This one is better
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5607989/1/Harry-Potter-Larry-Saves-Cristmass

>>723086429
Whatever helps you sleep at night saar

>>723066898
the hat is AI
it's trained on data where every wizard is sorted a certain way, it doesn't deviate from that programming unless a user knows how to prompt it correctly

>>723067072
>It's even funnier than every time Ron is shown to struggle with his finance Harry doesn't give a fuck even if he could buy the Weasely a house for each member of their brokeass family
the Weasleys actively reject his charity. It's said many times throughout the books that he'd trade it all just to live with them

>>723086381
>Enhlishmen have no guns
>be me, boy wizard
>muggleborn
>get bullied constantly for shit I cannot do anything about
>they want me to completely eradicate my identity as a non-wizard to fit in
>I hate them all
>I will kill them
>go to a firearm shop, one of the many in the UK
>Imperius the shopkeeper
>pick up what's needed

>>723066464
Because Slytherin was one of the founders, and eliminating the house has too many complications at this point.
Like the sorting hat is gonna keep making new Slytherins and they've got the Slytherin dorm rooms that they need to keep using.
Not to mention the political shitstorm if they tried to eliminate Slytherin.

>>723086541
You mean this one
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/2554200/2/HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

>>723085861
>Not interestd in reading trans books from a """man""" named """Terry"""

He was a biological man. Fathered a daughter and everything, she actually works in video games. Funny thing is people thought that Equal Rites was written by a woman.

>>723086224
Guns would probably misfire or jam a ton if brought into wizard country, modern muggle tech gets fucked up by being around them

>>723086467
>it's in 1900s britain
It's set in 1991-1998, not during WWI
>nobody can just bring a gun to school
why not? Also, most wizards cannot even recognize what a gun is

>>723086252
For me it's these shining gems.

>He can't leave the room. Her room. And it's all the Order's fault. Confined to a small space with only the Mudblood for company, something's going to give. Maybe his sanity. Maybe not. "There," she spat. "Now your Blood's filthy too!" DM/HG. PostHBP. Now complete with epilogue.

>Draco challenges Harry and friends to play EROS & PSYCHE, a scandalous card game with a dark, mysterious history. It's Slyth vs. Gryff, male vs. female, pride vs. desire in the ultimate game of hearts and amour! Pairings: Draco/Hermione,Blaise/Ginny,Ron/Pansy,Seamus/Lavender,Theo/Daphne,Harry/Tracey. AU 7th yr. Secrets, romance, angst, and sex await the turning of the first card...

>The Ministry enacts a Marriage Law, magically pairing couples who'd never in a million years agree to even speak, let alone wed. Paired off with Malfoy, Hermione has to suffer the added indignity of the Ministry banning all contraception and forcing fertility treatment and aphrodisiacs on them all. Draco's secret makes it worse.

>>723085980
It's still silly because that information should be readily available and something a decent chunk of wizards experienced first hand. I'm not sure what percentage but you'd expect it to be enough to be a critical mass where it becomes common knowledge.
I think it's supposed to be a joke that Arthur thinks of muggles like 19th century adventurer about amazionian tribes or something with poorly understood romanticized scraps about noble savages, but that just doesn't work with the setting if you think too hard about it.

>>723086224
Where's a child gonna get their hands on a gun in the UK?

>>723086667
>modern muggle tech
Electronics malfunction.
Firearms are older than Hogwarts.

>>723080821
>this is unironically what half the country believe

>>723086724
Google "nearest firearm shop" and Imperius the shoopkeeper

>>723080821
You're no better, worshipping trump because of "charisma" alone. All a politician has to do is say things you think are BASED and you'll roll over like a good dog even if none of their promises ever get realized.

>>723086069
>The Hogwarts houses are obviously based on the Hindu castes.
oh you silly pajeets, you never stop providing solid gold.

>>723075360
Get me a chicken sandwich, and some WAFFLE FRIES. FOR FREE.

>>723086036
of course i was awake, maybe you're right but I feel like any person would wake up before you can do anything to them. And if you put them on some drugs so they don't wake up they wouldn't get hard.

>>723086536
Never liked the goblins much. But then by that point it felt like officially licensed fanfic, ghostwritten or not, to me. Terry just hadn't got "it" anymore.
Lipvig felt out of place to me. Felt like a character he wanted to do for an original setting but just tacked onto the Discworld anyway.

>>723086601
>Don't worry kiddo, it's fine if you got sorted into slytherin, the house might've never had a single good person ever graduate from it, and you'll always be fucked over and not given proper points when you win in anything, but don't worry you'll grow up just fine into a proper wizard, a great but probably terrible hitler-esque wizard... Now off you go, get some sleep and ignore the side eyed judgmental looks from other houses during dinners!

>>723085861
you sound like a fart-sniffing faggot to be quite honest.

>>723087032
>single good person ever graduate from it,
I mean there's Slugworth who's a decent fellow.

>>723084898
That's not Lupin

>>723086508
I still haven't played any of the half life games.

>>723087032
>Be muggleborn
>Be slightly ambitious
>Get sorted into Slytherin
What the fuck are you supposed to do now?

>>723087197
You mean the guy that only surrounds himself with rich or famous people and hates anyone who can't benefit him in some way?

>>723085419

Fair enough

>>723085665

Based fellow Half-Life 2 enjoyer

>>723085808

Howdy, be sure to join for the final two movies and the Halloween reveal tonight.

>>723086069
>Brahmin - Ravenclaw (intellectuals)
>Kshatriya - Gryffindor (warriors)
>Vaishya - Slytherin (trade)
>Shudra - Hufflepuff (pleb)
>Dalits - Muggles

One of these figured out how to turn the building blocks of the universe into the ultimate weapon/power source (by bashing spicy rocks together) and went to the moon. The others are a more intellectually and culturally primitive form of civilization than the pre-9/11 Taliban.

>>723087248
She owes me a titjob

>>723086851
Of course a child can cast an Imperius and hold it long enough to get a gun. Retard

>>723087415
don't underestimate a bullied teen. Hogwarts is attended until 17

>>723085861
>a """man""" named """Terry"""
fucking zoomlets don't know shit.

EXPENSIVE
PETROLEUM

>>723087523
Not unless you're from Slytherin, but then you will be the bully, not vice versa

>>723087298
just bee yourself bro, hitler wasn't german and voldemort wasnt a pureblood. what could go wrong

>>723079998
2real4me

>>723086625
No this one
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/2101998/1/a-sad-story

>>723079998
>Snape's too much of a bitchmade pussy to kill James
Damn straight.

>>723086252

The crossover absolutely fucking no one wanted or asked for.

>all that talk about how wizards are retarded for not knowing about muggle technology
This is actually the most realistic part of the book just look at our politicians just a bunch of boomers who don't know jack shit.

>>723088171

trvke

>>723065554
>>723066267
>>723067649
>>723067992
Why do you type, when you don't even recognize this Clifford enjoyer pasta?

>>723066332

The Stacy Kiki's Delivery Service witches

>live among the non-magic folk
>are valued members of their community
>can talk to animals
>are cute

im pretty sure with this whole atlus thing going on whatever the real version of the combine is exists and they're on their way to us right now, that's the reason for all the bunkers not to hide from nukes but to hide from them.

>>723074001
Who sexual assaulted a child?

>>723065554
It's absolute dogshit. You are extremely homosexual or have never read it.

>>723062305
KEK

>>723075823
You forgot the amazing teachers that are supposed to take care of the students, such as:
1) dude with magical satan on the back of his head
2) fraud who's only good at using memory erasing spells and enjoys spending time with his young female students
3) a literal werewolf
4) crazy ex-cop who is actually a crazy serial killer worshipping magical satan
5) bitch with a torture fetish
6) a half-giant who thinks kids should play with giant skorpions with shooting tails
7) Warwick Davis

>>723088139
What about the one we all know we wanted but were too freighted to ask for

>>723088660
lol

>>723088842
I was keeping it until I read
>Link has been killed only his brother can
and then I lost it
gg

>>723088774
And don't forget the Multiwizard Murderfest Tournament, where underage wizards take part in deadly murder trials for money!

>>723074234
>Israeli and Palestinian/Russian and Ukrainian students have to be kept segregated to prevent them from constantly casting killing curses on each other

>>723087032
>and not given proper points when you win in anything,
They had won 6 years in a row before Harry Potter went to school

>>723088774
But you see, that position was cursed by Voldemort from the start, they couldn't help hiring freaks and outright dangerous people

>>723089025
>underage wizards
Oh no, this year some fucker complained about that, so only wizards of age (17) can murder each other

>>723089025
Just don't apply to be a school champion.
Oh, unless someone submits your name for you. Then you're forced to compete.

>>723088982
But it’s he’s cooler more badass brother Jack Link who is like Link crossed with Duke Nukem

>>723075332
nigga that's how everything is named in japanese

wait till you find out that the kyouto is 京(capital)都(city) and tokyo is 東(east)京(capital)

>>723089031
That's what happens when Snape gives you points for breathing.

>>723089190
That was such a dumb plotpoint in the fourth book that I convinced myself Dumbledore consciously allowed Harry to participate to use him as a bait to snuff out Voldemort

>>723073381
Victims are entitled to self-defense or compensation.

>>723089031
slytherinGOD excellence, heh

>>723089351
>I convinced myself Dumbledore consciously allowed Harry to participate to use him as a bait to snuff out Voldemort
That's exactly what he did. It was stated explicitly.

>>723082065
>he doesn't know about the horror suffered by poor Keanu Reeves
Educate yourself

>>723089085
>>723089190
But wait, there's more! We also have a giant murder snake sleeping in the basement that one of the school's founders put there to kill everyone he doesn't think should be here! And we've decided that a building full of children would be the perfect place to safeguard the Philosopher's fucking Stone, which any dark wizard would, I dunno, murder a building full of children to get his hands on! And if that's not enough, we have basketball on broomsticks, and the balls try to murder you too! Why, the only thing on the grounds that WON'T murder you horribly is the giant squid living in the lake!

>>723089448
Yeah? Well, that was a long time ago since I read the book

>>723089351
He's kinda like the Third Hokage
>Biggest guy around
>Old fuck
>He likes to watch orphans suffer for absolutely no reason

>>723089351
Nah, that one actually kinda makes sense. Who said that Harry was bound to compete? BARTY CROUCH! ...Senior. And he was revealed to already be under Bad Moody's control at that point, so of course he'd say that there's no way out, if he said that "oh there's actually an obscure clause that'll let Harry back out" then the unnecessarily complicated plan is ruined.

>>723074234
>>723075145
>>723075394
>Israeli and Palestinian/Russian and Ukrainian students have to be kept permanently segregated to prevent them from constantly casting killing curses on each other

>>723089559
>But wait, there's more! We also have a giant murder snake sleeping in the basement that one of the school's founders put there to kill everyone he doesn't think should be here!
Thought to be a Myth they didn't know it was real

>>723089559
My friend, there's a giant tree that mauls people on school ground, a "forbidden" (lol) forest full of monsters where we send naughty kids who are around after curfew, our groundskeeper is a violent retard with a criminal record and our caretaker was trained to hate everyone, especially first-years.

>>723089383
>anti-christian
Christ niggers really know how to spoil their own arguments lol

Answer me this, Ravenclaw is the smarty-pants house, Hermione fits it to a T yet she is sorted into Gryffindor. How does that make sense?

>>723089769
But only until it actually had consequences for them, like climate cha-- no, too easy.

>>723089825
>My friend, there's a giant tree that mauls people on school ground, a "forbidden" (lol) forest full of monsters where we send naughty kids who are around after curfew

I already mentioned the MURDER tree and the MURDER forest.

>>723089591
Faustian spirit. The kids can't become unrootable stalwart unbreakable heroes if you don't make them grow up in difficult conditions. They must suffer so that they can be great. Dumbledore knew that hundreds of kids that die in Hogwarts are worth the few great wizards that come out of it alive. Similair with the hokage. Children yearn for suffering.

>>723069289
elaborate, anon

>>723089720
>Harry, you have to compete
>Ok, I'll partecipate and just sit on the bench, losing by default
>No you can't! Because... rules!
>Ok, as soon as the trial starts I declare failure and lose imme-
>HARRY YOU CANNOT AVOID MORTAL DANGER!
>But I didn't put my-
>HARRY YOU HAVE TO TRY AND KILL YOURSELF BECAUSE... SHUT UP!

This was a good thread lads

>>723083726
>I have never seen a story written by a woman that has good fights or much thought put into the combat and power scaling

Fullmetal Alchemist

>>723089939
Oh sorry
I missed it

>>723089870
Because she's brave

>>723089559
>Why, the only thing on the grounds that WON'T murder you horribly is the giant squid living in the lake!

Don't forget the giant spider, only his kids will try to kill you.

>>723089825
>convicted felon
>can only find work as a janitor

Surprisingly accurate

>>723066464
Same reason the GOP exists

>>723089870
Answered in the first book.

>Me! Books! And cleverness! There are more important things — friendship and bravery and — oh Harry — be careful!

>>723089949
Every single villain of note in both Naruto and Harry Potter came from Hogwarts and the Hidden Leaf.
Orochimaru was specifically the Third Hokage's student, just like Voldemort was scouted by Albus himself as a genius.

>>723080028
It's simply unsportsmanlike. You didn't winned the duel

>>723064490
>To Kill a Mockingbird
>Shit-Tier alongside Harry Potter.
Why did it make Quintin seethe so bad? I know why the perfectly organic, not at all astroturfed masses might hate it.

>>723080028
It's because to use the Instant Kill spell you need some real fucked up evil in your heart it's not something easy to do it's a hard fucking spell to sling

>>723090135
>giant spider won't kill you but gives 0 fucks if his childern will

Slytherin twink with giantess Hufflepuff gf

>>723090257
Meanwhile a sixteen year old boy can slice someone into wizard sashimi without even meaning to.

>>723090332
said boy had part of an evil wizard's soul in his head giving him power

>>723086508
It was meh. The first one was better.

>>723089747
You have to not think about it too much and pretend they don't care about muggle conflicts once they know magic exists. I have no idea how The Improper Use of Magic Office is supposed to have made it through the Troubles and still came to its modern state.

>>723090283

Nigga's got 6,000,000 mouths to feed, cut him some slack.

>>723090460
they just blamed magic on car bombs and called it a day

>>723066332
>dude I just LOVE the hustle and bustle of the big city!
Cringe

>>723090460
>The Improper Use of Magic Office is supposed to have made it through the Troubles

Reminder that Snape, Lily, and James' first year at Hogwarts was also the deadliest year of The Troubles

>>723061784 (OP)
This threae granted me many los, thank you sirs

So how long as the wizarding world been around exactly? Were there wizards around to witness the twilight of the Roman Republic? The construction of the Pyramids?

>>723067940
I hope you grow out of your faggotry one day

>>723090283
He was getting too old for this shit. Pretty sure he dies of old age halfway through the series.

>>723089559
Wasn't the stone was only moved there temporarily before they found a better location or destroyed it, right?
Hogwarts is a death trap but also a mini fortress with some of the best wizards around.

>>723090591
No better city than Ankh-Morpork. It's a melting pot with big lumps.

>>723090971
The Olivander family has supposedly been making wands since 382 BC, so wizards have been around for a long while.

>>723091085
I think the whole thing was just Dumbledore setting up an easy first adventure for Harry.

>>723063917
You guys don't get the books are only kino if you read them as you age. 1 and 2 are whimsical cause ur supposed to be 9-13. 3 onwards gets progressively edgier as you go from 13 to 18. Then you hit post 20 and realize it was always gay but a wonderful experience and one i thank rowling for providing me. Its not often an author nails every step of childhood to adolescence.

>>723091245
Probably yeah. I doubt the Flamels actually needed Dumbledore's help to protect their stone when they've been doing that for literal centuries on their own.