Thread 723330874

Java: Protestantism -
Unmodded Java: Mainline Protestants
Modded Java: Evangelicals

Legacy Console: Orthodoxy -
communion of the Xbox, Playstation, and Nintendo autocephalous churches, all under a common tradition.

Bedrock: Catholicism -
Pocket Editon - Latin Church
Xbox, Playstation, Nintendo Bedrock releases - Eastern Catholic Churches (all broke off from their legacy console communions to join the Bedrock pontiff)

VOTE if you agree: https://strawpoll.com/w4nWWV8GNnA

Java Edition – Protestantism
Key Themes: Decentralization, Personal Interpretation, Reformation, Fragmentation

Java Edition is the original revelation — the "Scripture alone" of Minecraft. It emerged unbound by consoles or monetization systems, much like how early Protestant reformers sought freedom from ecclesiastical hierarchy.

Unmodded Java = Mainline Protestantism
Adheres to the core text (vanilla Minecraft), trusting that the original design is sufficient for a fulfilling experience.

Emphasizes stability, ethics, and tradition within the bounds of reform.

Examples: Methodism, Lutheranism, Presbyterianism — not flashy, but deep and enduring.

Modded Java = Evangelicalism / Non-Denominationalism
Believes that a personal relationship with the code (or the Creator) is central.

Embraces a highly individualized experience: magic systems, space travel, industrialization, new dimensions.

Modpacks are like evangelical megachurches — dynamic, immersive, and often overwhelming.

Just as Evangelicals vary widely in beliefs, modded servers can be anything from hardcore realism to anime roleplay.

Java's gift is freedom — and with that, a thousand servers and doctrinal interpretations. Some call it chaos. Others, reformation.

Legacy Console Edition – Eastern Orthodoxy
Key Themes: Tradition, Autocephaly, Conservatism, Discontinuity with Modernization

Legacy Console editions were regional churches bound to their hardware: Xbox 360, PS3, Wii U — each one operating semi-independently but sharing a liturgical structure (i.e., interface, update cycles, and game mechanics). Like Orthodoxy, they:

Emphasized ritual consistency — everything from crafting interfaces to tutorial worlds followed strict templates.

Received occasional updates from 4J Studios (their “Patriarchate”), but the timeline was often irregular and eventually ceased altogether — much like some Orthodox churches’ resistance to modernization.

Maintained spiritual distinction from the Bedrock Church, refusing to adopt its universalizing codebase.

These were autocephalous churches, unique in culture yet united in form. They were never meant to reform — only to preserve.

Bedrock Edition – Roman Catholicism
Key Themes: Universality, Central Authority, Tradition with Innovation, Synodality

Bedrock Edition represents the Catholic Church: one universal version, governed from a centralized seat of authority — Mojang/Microsoft (aka, the “Vatican of Code”). All platforms — mobile, PC, console — are brought into communion under one codebase and rule set.

Pocket Edition = Latin (Roman) Rite
The original form of Bedrock, like the Latin Church, started in humble circumstances — the small, minimalistic Pocket Edition.

Over time, it became the foundation of Bedrock theology — everything else is built on this original rite.

From mobile beginnings, it now defines the core of Bedrock liturgy.

Bedrock Console Ports = Eastern Catholic Churches
Formerly part of the Legacy Console Orthodox Communion, these churches (Xbox One, PS4, Switch) entered into full communion with Bedrock.

They retain platform-specific quirks (custom UI, local performance issues), but accept the universal doctrines of Bedrock: the Marketplace, Realms, crossplay.

Like the Maronite or Ukrainian Catholic Churches, they maintain tradition while acknowledging the authority of the Bedrock "pontiff."

Bedrock is one, holy, catholic, and cross-platform. It is the church of Marketplace indulgences, the Realms confessional, and the unified codebase

I play on my 360, I guess im Orthodox now lol

>>723330874 (OP)
Why can't we have more threads like this? Just good old fashioned schizoposting, the playful kind.

>>723333492
he posted this yesterday actually, he'll probably post it tomorrow too

Oh boy I love thinly veiled religious flame war threads

>>723333492
this was very obviously written by AI

>>723333673
No its not, its just an analogy

Didn't you do this with pony seasons too on the other board? Let me guess, you had ChatGPT do it with Pokémon generarions as well and constantly reposted the resulting wall of text on /vp/ too?

>>723335285
Have a link to those threads?

>>723333789
OP looks genuine, they probably made the replies by spitting it into chatgpt and telling it to elaborate

>>723336260
Why couldn't he just use his own words

>>723337487
Do you agree with the analogy

>>723335398
https://desuarchive.org/mlp/search/text/denominations/type/op/
https://arch.b4k.dev/v/search/subject/minecraft%20denominations/

>>723330874 (OP)
this is like the fifth time I've seen this thread
Minetest is Satanism because it rejects God/Microsoft by being open source and paves its own weird fucked up path with a super barebones idea you can add whatever you want to.

>>723339205
Where's the Pokémon one

What would be judaism

>>723341141
I never said it existed, I don't use that kid-infested shithole of a board. I was asking because it sounded like something he'd do.

>>723342484
>he
Hos do you know they arent a she?

>>723342359
Cubeworld

>>723343287
What is that

>>723340338
>Minetest is Satanism
It's more buddhism than satanism, the framework is so fucking barebones that you have to literally just want a "block game" to be content with it. I haven't seen anyone actually mod it to be decent yet.

Education Edition is based on Bedrock, I guess it would be Catholic Scholasticism

>>723333673
None of that has happened lmao

>>723333673
I'd rather have an autistic analogy than most of the garbage threads on here ngl

>>723333492
you can and will have more threads like this because he's been posting this shit on a regular basis for months

>>723330907
>>723330971
>>723331087
>em dash
>em dash
>em dash
fuck off, JeetGPT

>>723346939
Do you agree with the analogy?

>>723346519
Yeah this is a general

What would Islam be

>>723343287
If Cubeworld is Judaism and Minecraft is Christianity, than who or what is the Jesus figure?

>>723351527
Herobryan

>>723351564
>Herobryan is the rapture lol (since its not actually real or part of historic Christianity but many Christians still believe it)

>>723330874 (OP)
>no mormonism
dropped

>>723352390
Mormonism is Minecraft Dungeons

>>723353239
pretty accurate, honestly

>>723353239
Ouch

>>723333673
Schizophrenia

>>723353239
Minecraft Dungeons is not true Minecraft

>>723342359
Dwarf Fortress or Infiniminer

All abrahamics should be sent to meet their god asap.

>>723359364
You a pagan? What video game would be paganism?

What religion is Roblox

>>723361316
judaism

What game would Scientology be? I think Nintendo in general because the fans have to pay extortionate amounts of money to be a part of the ecosystem and by the time they get deep enough and find out Switch 2 has no games and the whole thing is a sham, they're already in too deep so they have to start coping

>>723333492
He's been doing this for years. Worst thread on /v/

>>723361918
How is this bad? Isn't it a cool analogy?

>>723361770
>What game would Scientology be?

project entropia

>>723333673
This didnt happen?!

bump

>>723330874 (OP)
what versions would be old testament or new testament?

>>723366984
old testament ends at 1.5

bump

>>723330874 (OP)
Are you the redeemed zoomer?

What’s the Amish of Minecraft

>>723369504
I guess Java players who stick with super old versions?

bump

bump

>>723366984
depends on what aspect of Minecraft presents the coming of Christ

>>723369412
no

>>723330874 (OP)
>2 christcuck larp threads
whats going on big guy?

>>723352390
im pretty sure i've seen this guy before

>>723377915
where's the other one?

>>723330874 (OP)
You're fucking retarded.

>>723380424
Explain what is wrong about this analogy

>>723380424
ah, crickets. Coward.

>>723380424
And still crickets. Loser.

>>723344548
The NodeCore game on minetest is definitely Buddhism, that much I know

>>723378445
got deleted

>>723330874 (OP)
kill yourself