Thread 723776485

How would you fare in this scenario?

>>723776485 (OP)
>all friendly NPCs are absent.
nyoo...

>>723776485 (OP)
>dark souls but you're not allowed to actually be the protag beyond endless respawns
so incredibly retarded

>>723776485 (OP)
I feel like respawning upon death would grant you the power to attempt things an infinite amount of times, which means it would be possible.

>>723776717
Depends on if your mind can take dying over and over again.

>>723776485 (OP)
Starve

>>723776705
>the average zoomer when he has to use creativity to solve a problem
you guys are forever little babies haha

>>723776485 (OP)
I don't remember the requirements to ring both bells
No magic means only swords? Don't you have to use spells at some point like avoid poison or some shit?

>>723776829
>He forgot he can farm Dungpies in blight town
Also
>respawning fuckhueg rats not 100m away from firelink
>respawning frogs in darkroot
and assuming it doesn't respawn into a puff of light
>gigantic boar that can feed 500 people
We just have to peel it out of its armor

>>723776906
>I don't remember the requirements to ring both bells
Kill the Gargoyles for the frist, kill Queelag for the second.
>Don't you have to use spells at some point like avoid poison or some shit?
No. You can eat purple moss to cure poison
>No magic means only swords?
There's magic swords though which should be good since it's a magic item we're swinging.

>>723776485 (OP)
If we get enough anons we can just form tard-tron and ring the bells easily.

We need like a dozen or so anons to be positioned in the Catacombs so they can relay up the Gravelord Sword. Should be smooth sailing after getting it

Can you teleport between bonfires? Cause respawn of 24 hours means endlessly repeating the same fights without enough time

>>723777075
Teleporting is only possible after getting the lord-vessel so no.

>>723777075
You need the lord vessel to teleport. The lord vessel is locked behind Ornstein and Smough

I bet we could go straight to that elevator that goes back to the start and climb or get it working from the start side

assuming all the enemy move sets are exactly like the game and it isnt realistic arrows/sword swings pretty good up to the first bell. just knowing where to go you can run past and ignite all the check points up to the bell tower and then try to disarm an undead around there to spend X amount of lives trying on the gargoyles. most enemy attacks are one shotting so basically just fast movement through the legs of most larger bosses until you can be perfect enough to get them down. getting to the bottom bell without the key would be literally hell taking a lot more extra time and even with the key is still annoying, with quelaag probably needing a team to beat. i dont think this challenge is hard with 20-30 people if at least 20 of them are decently familiar with the game.

>>723776485 (OP)
I will rape the anon below, he is my bitch.

>>723776485 (OP)
I went straight to the fire keeper and unzip my pants then asked her to sucked my cocks through the cage or I stroke my dick and ejaculate on her anyway

I'll be the bad redman.

>>723776485 (OP)
Sprint towards catacombs and pick up Zweihander.
Literally flatten anyone in my path with a 40 pound slab of steel.
Poise bully the gargoyles.
Poise bully Quelog.
Go home.

1.get to the bell tower above the undead parish
2. wait for other anons to climb the ladder
3. kick them off
4. repeat steps 2 and 3

Mobs respawn every 24 hours, but how often do players respawn? If it's instant, the game is trivial with one person. If it's every 24 hours too, it's just a war of attrition.

>>723777286
You can't level up so are you swole enough in real life to actually wield it?

>>723776485 (OP)
I desperately try to make it to the painted world, somehow, and enter with no weapons so I can beg Priscilla to allow me refuge.

>>723777286
i mean even if you are jacked you really think you would be adept enough to swing a zweihander that much? like even the first rat in the tight tunnel just next to the shrine would be annoying to kill with that

>>723777356
As long as I take off all my armor and nakedweild the Zwei I'll be good.

>>723777286
There isn't a single starting class that can wield it, you won't be able to use it.

>>723777286
>Poise bully
I think I spotted the real problem with your plan here anon.

>>723777363
>I desperately try to make it to the painted world, somehow, and enter with no weapons so I can beg Priscilla to peg me
ftfy

>>723777390
I would just use it as a spear

>>723777429
Why not just use a spear then?

>>723777407
Not true, you can two hand it with insufficient stats. Pretty sure warrior can.

>>723776485 (OP)
do I have the i-frame dodge roll?

>>723776802
there's a goal in mind, getting back home
i'm sure i can do it
not being able to level up is straight up cancerous tho because of the no magic stipulation

>>723777429
well good luck also fighting off the 15 other people in the lobby that want a turn with it with the exact same thought process

>>723777443
Warrior has 13 STR, you need 16 to two hand it.

>>723776485 (OP)
Im gunna go grab the zweihander, winged spear and spider creat shield fron the cemetary while spr8nting oast skellies. Ill try to not die but if i do, whatever. Im oretty strong irl so i could pr9bably two hand the zweihander. Ill give the spear and shield to whoever is coolest, then go attack the gargoyles.

>>723776485 (OP)
So you're basically this retard.

>>723776485 (OP)
2 rolls and my knees are done

>>723777509
Well it's a good thing I'm stronger than the average warrior.

>you respawn after death
>you share this world with all other anons itt
this would result in the most unspeakable shit imaginable

>>723776485 (OP)
>respawn after death
Everyone just charges in, our only consequence is needing to walk back.
It won't take 24 hours to bumrush all of the basic enemies, use an anon or two as bait for the Gargoyles while another stabs them in the eyes or some shit, rinse and repeat for the second half

>>723777639
>waits for 3-5 other people to bum rush you after you flub a swing and hold you down
>rape you
not stronger than this

>>723777714
Jokes on you, because that's my fetish.

Me? I will start as hunter and shot niggas from afar while retards distract the bosses with suicide tactics.

Not having NPCs sounds like shit. That's like half of the reason Dark Souls is interesting. This comes off more like a Dark Souls tech demo for gameplay testing. Like you got sucked into Miyazaki's going into testing games machine

>>723777775
zweihander mains everyone

We use our engineering and not bound by physics to get the elevator to Undead Parish running from the Firelink Shrine end. Then all hundred can rush straight to Gargoyles

>get zwei
>ganked to death by skellingtons on my way back
>respawn at firelink
>37 crestfallen anons troll me
>meanwhile, some lvl 1 no hit speedtranny has cleared literally every single enemy in the entire game (they take 24 hours to respawn)
>can just walk uninterrupted to the two bells
well, at least it was over quickly

>>723776485 (OP)
Zerg rush I guess

Do I even need to say it?

Would anybody else go skydiving down into blight town? Death would probably be instant and you respawn. Could be a bunch of fun skydiving with fellow anons.

>>723777363
you would never make it, you would have to rush getting the doll by sprinting to the crow to take you back, then you would have to protect the doll from everyone when you do get back, you would need to get all the way to anor londo basically by yourself since you need to protect the doll and then even when you get to anor londo the platforming you would have to do against knife throwers is just too unreasonable. this isnt achievable solo 99.999999% of the time and if you recruit help you are just gonna get backstabbed for the doll when you finally make it. only one person gets the dragon waifu

>>723777830
>>723777802
>>723777525
>>723777395
>>723777286
We cant all have the zweihander. Maybe we can all work together and take turns? Either that or i can bludgeon you all with my morningstar and take it for my own.

>>723776843
and do tell how you expect the average person to deal with the taurus demon? gargoyles? quelag?
or hell toxic in blight town.

>>723777952
Sign me in, hitting shit at maximum fall speed sure sounds like fun.

I equip my flippy ring and spend the rest of my days flipping around

>>723777075
Realistically you could probably from fire link to gargoyles in a couple of minutes

>>723777993
>taurus demon
plunge attack
>gargoyles
honestly idk
>quelaag
CHA check

No estus means the next best method of healing is humanities. Gonna pick up a spear or sword and poke rats until I have enough humanities to buy armor and service from other anons.

I will become the armored merchant man. With a longbow in hand I will hire a party of anons to serve as my vanguard, dispensing humanity in the heat of battle and only then, so that I have as many as I need to heal myself should any of you forget your places. The loyal shall enjoy their flesh, traitors will be cursed to be bacon forever by paid gankers at firelink, and the rats shall fear the sound of my boot.

And we WILL get the drake sword. I know I missed the first 20 shots but I have enough arrows, just stop breathing down my neck and let me focus.

You don't even need to fight, just sneak past everything using your endless tries
I bet queelag needs to sleep

Obviously I go nowhere and achieve nothing, are you retarded? No mortal man is gonna kill bosses. Since fires heal my wounds I guess I'd just hang out in firelink and jerk off until I went hollow.

>>723777579
How did this anime even gain traction? I watched like the first half of the season and the MC was so brain damaged it actually made me angry and I stopped watching.
Why did the faggot not try to learn from his power at all? Why did the faggot not just kill himself anytime there was an undesirable outcome? Why did he fall head over heels for the first fucking woman he came across, especially when she came with a metric fuckload of baggage? Why did he not seemingly even care about the world outside of that shitty town he spawned in? Why did he keep wearing that stupid fucking track suit? Everything this faggot did pissed me off.

>>723777829
Fuck the levers and what not. Me and some other anons climb through get the elevator running
Start point > Undead Parish > Double Gargoyles > Bell
Start point > Upper Londo > Jump > Lower Londo > Quelaag

>>723776485 (OP)
I remember the last thread like this I joined and we ended up raping a lot

>>723777993
It might take a while but i ciuld farn firebombs off that one hollow near the top of the hill, that wpild probably be enough t9 deak with taurus demon. Barring that, get the gold pine resin in undead burg and zap his ass.

>>723777228
>reading comprehension

>>723776485 (OP)
I use the birb to go to majula instead, much comfier place.

I'm sure a lot of dangerous enemies could be non-stop chainstabbed by a mob of dumbass anons. It would take a long time but everyone would get kitted out in shitty hollow soldier sets and spears and shields.

>>723777703
>our only consequence is needing to walk back.
You forgot the dying horribly inbetween part.
Most injuries aren't immediately fatal and you'd suffer a good bit.

>>723776485 (OP)
What are souls used for if you can't use them to level up and there's no NPCs to buy things from?

>>723776485 (OP)
on top of my head I can do gargoyles ez
but doing spidertits with no upgrades and just resins is sketchy, having no vendors sucks

Ive done plenty of challenge runs deathles/sl1 etc

>>723777390
>like even the first rat in the tight tunnel just next to the shrine would be annoying to kill with that
It's actually easy since even in the game heavy attack is a vertical slash, IRL you'll have even more options to use it while ratto is one big chunky target in the narrow tunnel.

A lot of doors are old and rusty. We could probably sequence skip a lot by ramming locked doors endlessly

>>723778202
This, just stunlock all the easy mobs with multiple people until enough Anons are high on our success and attempt thr gargoyles like the retards they are and die. I will wait until they are low enough and go for the last hit kill steal.

I would go full dung eater on other anons. You would need a permanent dedicated deathsquad spawncamping the bonfire to contain me.

Im going to instantly go hollow

>all these retards getting rapped by skeletons and fighting over a shitty sword that they can't even use
*sigh* well, any hunters want to get the drake sword, pretty sure that it will drop one for every one of us, and it will make quick work of all the bell bosses.

Guess im doing a SL1 run without talking to NPCs
Id figure out everything I need with infinite respawning

Ok retards. Here's the plan:

>Grab morningstar from under firelink
>give it to the strongest and tallest anon for maximum effect
>bum rush the first few hollows up the steps, grab their armor, weapons and shields and distribute them accordingly
>make our way into parish, gearing us up gradually
>once we get to the crossbow and firebomb hollows, we take 3-4 days of farming, we eat rats and drink sewer water
>after that we should be stocked with a lot of crossbows+bolts, spears and most importantly firebombs
>Taurus demon: the bulkiest form a shieldwall blocking the bridge while everyone else scales the ladder with crossbows and firebombs
>from up top we rain down hell on the Taurus demon
1st boss clear

>>723778320
Retards get killed first

>>723778234
>Most injuries aren't immediately fatal and you'd suffer a good bit.
a vast majority of the attacks would be fatal, only bad arrow hits/ anons trying to climb shit and falling would lead to a lot of suffering and would need another person to put them down to relieve suffering. even the first undead you mead do hard ass swings and stabs, dead within a minute or 2 of being hit. the only saving grace is they only know like 3 moves

>>723776485 (OP)
The hardest part of that ruleset is having to share the world.
The chosen undead isn't particularly good or anything considering the stat requirements on some of the weapons. Your average joe could wield almost all of the early game weapons better than the chosen undead at the start of the game. The trade off of course is you die if you're hit since you don't have a hp bar and any damage is crippling or fatal but infinite respawns will allow you to perfect any enemy with enough attempts.

having some retards running around hoovering up all of the items, dragging enemies back, and other stupid shit would be where the challenge lies.

>>723776485 (OP)
if we're all playing together lets just World War Z this motherfucker and be done with it.

>>723778374
My plan is to give this guy all the sorcery gear

>>723778380
yeah but we still respawn

>>723777286
>>723777356
>>723777390
>>723777407
>hurr durr you're too weak to wield a zwei
retards
zweihänder start at 3 pounds and go up to no more than 8 pounds. the dark souls protagonist is based on the average asian male who have the grip strength of 3 year old caucasian born without arms.

>>723776829
You can't starve. You're undead

>>723778320
>3 anons overpower and grapple you
>tie you up with some rope that's lying around everywhere and put you in Lautrec's empty cell
>it will take weeks for you to die of starvation (we will give you water), that's enough time for most anons ITT to escape this world
>once you die, your respawn alone at firelink and have no way of coming back because all enemies respawned

>>723778320
you would get your legs and arms cut off and horribly bandaged with dirty rags off undead enemies until infection killed you every couple of days. enjoy being a dirty potato man that gets tossed into a jar and left to die every few days because you antagonize a goal

>>723778374
This Anon will be our leader. He has the most INT of us retards

If I recall you can see the swamp outside Qulaag from a cliff at the shrine. So I make a really long rope for all of us to climb down and get to her easily

>>723778424
That's a shame, because then you will have no escape from the pain

>>723778471
>>723778491
...well you'd still have to listen to me mumbling "ah am the doong eatuh" every time you're in firelink shrine.

>Finally beat Queelag, about to ring the bell
>Suddenly the speedtrannies and cheevofags refuse and start a civil war as they "Need to do it faster" and have to "Platinum the game".

AIEEEE

>>723776485 (OP)
i mean you can just run past the fog walls. they dont tell you that.

Everyone here talking about spears or rushing the zewi, nah thats gay. Now hear me out, assuming op is proposing a situation where theres no videogamey rpg mechanics and the combat is realistic, so no hp stats no dmg values nothing like that, then the actual mvp of this would be bows, daggers, and clubs. The best strategy for just clearing the scenario would to use swarm tatics, just have a bunch of retards run forward at everything with clubs or maces while the more skillful anon use bows and cross bows to actually kill stuff. In particular itd be the only realistic way of dealing with the fire spider, as she herself would probably be too hot to actually approach considering the spider spits lava. Send melee anons to the meat grinder and hope someone gets a couple of lucky headshots on her human half

>>723776802
>after a certain point you stop being afraid of death and it makes you horrifying to the enemies

it says we can't use souls to level up, but it doesn't say anything about using them to buy items from shops

>>723778615
>>Finally beat Queelag
More like beat off to Queelag. You are not touching my wife

>>723778615
>about to ring bell
>Suddenly the waifufags take off their pants and start punching walls

>>723778374
Gargoyles are a pain since they can hop around and fly and deal massive AoE damage with their fire breath but we do have a lot of space up there for formation fighting. Everyone grabbing spears and shields while the backline keeps shooting bolts and lobbing firebombs might be enough to kill the first before the second one spawns and keep them occupied long enough before they can breathe fire.

Gear we should get beforehand:
-Grasscrest shield should still work on one of us, the most competent and able bodied fighter should get it
-Wolf ring. IDK how poise would work but it will help somehow
-Alluring skulls, they're a finite resource here AFAIK but they will be key in the Taurus demon fight

>>723778734
No vendors, so no shops, souls are literally useless.

>>723778734
.........................................

What is the bare minimum needed to ring the bells?
Counting anons breaking doors usually blocking the way and taking paths the game usually doesn't permit

>>723778791
>>723778796
i'm retarded just send me to the gulag

Literally just grab a fucking ladder from Undead Burg. There are tons of free ones lying around, fuck Lordran. Use it to climb up the back of the gargles tower. Boom, one bell down.
Dig a fucking tunnel right above Quelags bell. Boom bell 2 done. Now I'm back home shitposting about Dark Souls instead of playing it.

>>723778615
>>723778762
Never kill Quelaag, capture her and do unspeakable things to her. Every time you do something useful before dying you are allowed to use Quelaag for sexual pleasure.

>>723778816
I will sentence you to death by snu snu

>>723778615
OP here; should have specified:
Every anon has to ring the bells individually. So the degenerates who want to remain in Lordran can do so.

I want all of you to leave me alone. I'm playing solo

>>723778630
I think you overestimate how difficult spears are to use and you underestimate how much more effective they are then clubs and daggers.
Spears were the king of the battlefield for millenia for a reason.
For the cramped spaces stabbing with short swords works instead.

Anons we musnt ring the bells.
We have to build a climbing wall to Anor Londo!
THE BIG TITS WILL BE THERE BECAUSE TECHNICALLY GWYNDOLIN IS AN ENEMY!

THE BIG TITS ANONS
WE HAVE TO GO BACK

>>723778890
>you have to follow the mob of anons to go back
>if you neglect to do it in the first 24 hours, you will be stuck with the degenerates

So when do we rape?

>>723778159
Without the firekeepers the bonfires wouldn't work tho.

>>723776485 (OP)
Do we get starting class equipments and gifts? If one anon starts the master key and the rest of us have black firebombs its very doable

>>723776485 (OP)
Just stunlock everything that isn't a boss with your superior homosapien stamina, we'd win easily.

>>723778615
we can't platinum with these conditions, unless this scenario has a different trophy list

>>723778975
Priscilla is also technically an enemy.

>>723779067
So you'd think but you know how it is with these retards they'll just call it a different category and go for whatever is technically possible.

>cheese Taurus Demon
>free Lautrec and trigger the elevator
>go to Darkwood Forest for stone armor and kill Sif
>go down to Blighttown to kill Kellogg and Semen Demon
>get the chaos ember and die a horrifying death in the lava
>kill the butterfly for its soul
>go to the Great Hollow and grab the red chunk, grabbing green shards on the way
>go to the catacombs
>die dozens and dozens of times getting to Vamos
>holy shit, finally
>dupe
>Dupe
>DUPE
>D U P E
>forge a chaos weapon +5 with 10 humanity
>take all my shit to New Londo
>equip ring and armor and drop down to fight the 4Kids execs
>finally, a boss that isn't miserable
>talk to Kaathe for his red eye orb
>invade people at low level and camp the parish ladder with a crossbow until everyone else either makes it through me or goes hollow

>>723778406
>, dead within a minute or 2 of being hit.
I've seen enough mexican cartel videos and africants fighting with machetes that this isn't true and even if it was, these 2 minutes would feel like hours and pretty horrible
The hollows and hollow soldiers have pretty crappy, broken swords and would tear open your skin and flesh rather than cutting clean through. Most people also instinctively raise their arms as protection so we would end up pretty maimed early on before we get shields and armor and a weapon to parry/block with.

The big bosses like Taurus, Gargoyles, Gaping dragon etc. I agree, they have such massive swings that they'd end you pretty quickly but the normal hollows would give us pretty bloody and gruesome fights before we hit a critical mass of geard up anons

>>723779026
See that pile of naked bodies? Those aren't corpses, they are a bunch of faggots rapping each other.

Are there really no NPCs in this world? Nobody?

>>723776843
>generational warfare
You are retarded.

>>723779179
Eh, technically enemies are NPCs too.

>>723779142
>free Lautrec
No NPCS
>for stone armor
You wouldn't be able to move much in it
>chunks, upgrading at Vamos
there are no NPCs


You ain't gonna invade shit buddy, you can barely read hahahaha
You IRL self would die horribly a lot trying most of what you just listed.

>>723779162
does this mean it would be efficient to have 1-2 anons be mercy kill anons that dont do combat but put injured anons down to keep mental in check?

Eh, you guys go on ahead. I'm going to chill.

Does rolling still make you invincible? Because I took aikido as a kid and can at least do a roll.

>>723777993
>quelaag
I use my dick.

>>723779208
I want to stay forever and become the next Gwyn king emperor. I can't do this without NPCs.

>>723779179
None of these exist
https://darksouls.wiki.fextralife.com/Characters

Except for Gwyndolin and Priscilla since they are bosses

>>723776485 (OP)
ez, just sneak past everything, ai is fucking retarded

>>723779267
Holy shit. Probably yes. But I won't do that.

>>723779267
I will fight, but if I see you bleeding your guts in the floor I will chop your head off, I expect you to do the same for me.

>>723779267
>garbage collector anons who retrieve mortally wounded anons and chuck them into blighttown
A solid career choice.

>>723779292
No, the mechanics and physics and biology adhere to IRL rules as much as possible.
Bosses die to fatal injuries and so do you. Bosses and enemies move normally and aren't tied to their ingame moveset.

Fights will be short and decisive most of the time. A lucky and forceful spear stab into the Taurus demon's heart can end the fight in seconds but if your arm gets broken trying to block/evade his massive axe then you have to walk back to the bonfire while the other anons keep fighting

>>723778124
it's just wish fulfillment slop for otakus so they don't kill themselves

Lads how are we getting past the first hollow group that throws a fucking firebomb.

I'm going to the Ash Lake.

>>723779382
I make a deal with body disposal anon for the dead clothes to work on my giant rope from Firelink to the Swamps

>>723779454
DOOOOODGE

>>723778141 >>723777993
you dont even need to farm anything, you pick up enough bombs and resins to easily burst demon and gargoys, also you can trick taurus to fall off the ledge
spidertits takes like 3 resins+scimitar
if you have no upgrades, so thats harder

I'm going to seduce a capra demon.

>>723779454
Naruto run across the bridge.

>>723779251
>You IRL self would die horribly a lot trying most of what you just listed.
So you're saying I'll get it eventually

>>723776485 (OP)
I'd become crestfallen and just sit at firelink shrine talking shit to whoever shows up there

>>723778835
This. If we aren't getting the benefits of leveling up and other game mechanics then I sure as hell wouldn't respect the boundaries of the game engine. I'd learn to parkour and just sneak my way past everything.

What can I even fuck if we don't have NPCs? The butcher? Mildred? Fucking grim.

>>723779267
Yes, probably, you'd do be doing them a favor. But also depends on how far away from the bonfire we are since resting at it restores us to full so if the injuries aren't that bad it would be better to carry them back.

>>723779535
enjoy getting sodomized

>>723778934
>that one anon who will still try to beat the game
I kneel

>>723776485 (OP)
Probably not well. Unless the world acts like a game and I have literal infini-strength and stamina.
I have had the chance to wear real medieval armor and use a real sword on some dummies
what I can tell you is this
>armor is heavy, so heavy that an average guy like me would be fatigued walking up even just the steps to the aqueducts, its insane
>leather isnt even much better, a leather armor suit is still incredibly heavy and really hurts your mobility, its not like a game, you cant dash around. Leather is always seen as the light armor in games but that is massively misleading. So you would be wearing at best cloth unless you have been doing a lot of working out, which the average guy hasnt done nearly enough.
>vision in a helmet is abhorrent and your hearing is muffled and hard to track.
>the slight movements of your gear very quickly become painful, any loose parts will quickly get sore, meanwhile tight parts will ache
>the sword... its heavy enough that while initially it feels fine, after an hour of swinging it about your arms will ache more than when the Wii came out
>hitting a solid target really starts to hurt your wrists and arms after a while, the resistance from it is like being punched over and over

A medieval knight would be well trained for this shit, (You) wont be. Even knights only operated for like 2 hours out of the day IRL.

Quite frankly, id just go sightseeing instead. Get out of bounds, venture beyond the walls.

How the fuck are you planning on crossing a poisonousness swamp? You going to drain the water?

>>723779625
you can fuck this anon
>>723779535

>>723779625
this zetsy nigga >>723779275

>>723779625
fuck yourself retard

>>723776485 (OP)
Been a while since we had one of these.

>>723776485 (OP)
i'm gone in no time at all because i already no-hit lvl 1 speedrun the game with perfect knowledge of all enemy placement and boss movesets.

>>723779669
Anon corpse bridge.

>>723776485 (OP)
>you respawn upon death
Lame challenge with no stakes. OP is a faggot as always.

>>723779625
maybe there's femanons ITT

>>723779715
Have fun doing that while I shoot arrows at your head.

No NPCs in THIS world
I use an invasion item to go to another players world and loot the shops there

>>723776485 (OP)
>can't level up so can't use more than half the shit in the world
>can't get stuff from vendors so no reinforced club
>can't use magic at all
what's next, I can't use my legs?

>>723778346
is there a mod which disables npcs and upgrades to try this challenge?

>>723776485 (OP)
Why all the retarded restrictions? No one in this thread is gonna charge into a melee with gaping dragon. Only way to do it would be with a co-ordinated caster effort.

>>723779872
just kill them

>>723779881
Nah, knowing that we will respawn, we will start going full on kamikaze.

>>723779715
the bosses and enemies i can believe if especially if you are a big somewhat athletic dude, but the running around, especially in blight town, that would have to hold you back a lot

>>723777363
ive never been a run-through coward in these games. Ever.
Can you even reach prissy without fighting? I remember the mobs in that part of the game being pretty brutal

if talking to prissy and begging for refuge is possible, would talking to non-hollow enemies also be possible? The hollows also dont fight each other or other enemies for... some reason I never knew, so it should be possible to align yourself with them, no?
I mean golden chad did it in demons souls with the lurgy girl.

>>723779663
>using armor
skill issue, we all played naked

>>723779872
Going in to games machine mod

>>723779663
I wore a fully long sleeved chestpiece of chainmail in an open air norse/viking museum in Sweden once and I agree that it was pretty heavy but probably worth the protection.

About the combat fatigue:
We can take it slow. Most fights we have to do won't last more than a minute or two and we can rest inbetween, we also have the advantage of taking shifts for most things and having the numerical advantage and would turn into a 3/4/5v1 which everyone who has seen 2v1 HEMA videos knows is basically impossible if you aren't a top tier fencer.

With time, planning and training a squad of 5-10 anons could do it

Oh, so we use our actual constitution and not stats or anything? I take it as that we start with the basic class stuff, otherwise is just a bunch of retards trying to punch everything to death with a few armored and weapon wielding anons.

What if I catch a basilisk and is it to curse other anons? If I stay out of the gas, I could pin it down.

>>723779996
if you consider coop then you can just kite retarded monsters

>>723779959
Hollows are literally insane. they were all normal humans with the dark sign once but died too often and lost their purpose. IDK if there is any lore reason for why there's no infighting among hollows but it probably has to do with the undead curse and they sense if someone is still sane.

>>723776485 (OP)
people would farm the first area to get equipment and then bum rush every chapter

Andre and Vamos may not be around, but their tools still are.

We're turning Dark Souls into Runescape

>>723777651
I would rape femanons
or be a femanon and get raped, honestly, if only just for the experience - assuming we can quit and restart anew.

if not, femanon > dogs for me.

>>723780125
Every 24h we get a fresh supply of weapons and armor off all the enemies we killed why it would take you decades to learn blacksmithing via trial and error

>>723779669
Farm the tree niggas for purple moss

Also what's the going rate of blowjobs to humanity?

>>723780125
Prithee, be careful. I don't want to see m' work squandered!

>>723777703
thered be a last man standing though who gets fucked. if you need anons as bait, then some anons will be left forever
thats not very sporting now, is it?

>>723780037
Your IRL self gets Isekaid with the clothes you're currently wearing (no objects inside pockets)

All enemy weapons/armor are retrievable after they die or you disarm them, so no random drop chances, the mobs carry what their 3D model is wearing ingame.

>>723778041
Not with the average fitness level on this board.

>>723780231
If I steal an anons clothes for my rope to the swamp does he respawn with more clothes for me to steal?

This scenario but in Elden Ring would be pretty cool 2bh.
You could actually form a warband and start conquering the land.

I can fix Blighttown.

>>723780231
I'm literally naked right now, guess I will fashion myself some hollow drags.

>>723780172
I'm in no hurry. Those anons won't make it through the swamp ogres. They won't have the speed and endurance to run past them, and that's if the poison doesn't kill them first.

>>723780293
No, you respawn with what you were carrying upon death. (execpt for weapons, they always respawn except for when the wielder purposefully discarded it beforehand but dropping your weapon while you die still puts it back into your hand upon respawning)

So you can't dupe clothes/gear on "player" bodies. Only enemy gear gets multiplied by respawns

>>723779996
hmm, to be fair, I forgot
>24 hours between enemy refreshing
and didnt consider the full "co-op" of being able to have more than 2 people at once.

in that case im being the cook instead, dungpie, anyone?

>>723780339
If we are taking things on a more realistic turn, the poison spawn is actually just shit, so unless you have an open wound on your legs you won't get an infection if you wash afterward.

>>723780304
I think Demon's Souls could plausibly be completed but according to the OP we're only doing half the game

>>723780367
>only one of each weapon at any given time
Looks like smith anon is onto something after all

>ring first bell
>about to ring second bell
>"WAIT"
>we all leave the domain after gangraping the spider
>we give up on leaving
>we fight to the painted world, and achive true peace.

>>723780437
Only half if you want, guess the game will give you the choice to retire or keep going.

What other game gives you comparable experience of exploring and surviving a vast mysterious perilous world?

>>723780339
Why would the swamp ogres be any harder than Taurus demon?
A firing line of 10 anons with crossbows would make short work of them. Crossbow stacking would be our most OP strat. even our frontline could open up with a shot and then drop the crossbow before drawing swords/readying spears.

Most of the time we even could get a height advantage and snipe them from above.
The giant fucking mosquitos would be the real problem if they would move like actual mosquitos

>>723780421
Souls swamps are magical, and not in a good way. They infect you even through gapless armor in mere seconds. You'll be coughing up blood in a minute.

>>723780487
Noita

>>723780042
Holy fuck this is the best post ever created. We can just go full explorer mode and fuck up the entire world.

>>723780519
So can't we just farm the shrub guys in darkroot basin for pruple moss clumps?

>>723779715
Yeah but you don't have I-frames when you roll.

>>723776485 (OP)
Am I invincible when I roll?

>>723780519
Can't we just get a bunch of Indians to clear it for us? They have higher poison resistance

>>723779924
I'm not going near that thing fuck that shit.

>>723779267
If you're able to, you could always dive headfirst off a cliff

>>723780636
I will force you to do it, bitch.

>>723778124
written by a woman. Emelia is the real MC

>>723780610
only if you shout nigger while doing it

>>723780670
>"Stroke of luck" and don't actually die, just break every bone
Aw fuck

>>723778062
>plunge attack
You can't use game mechanics. Only what you are physically capable of irl
>CHA check
You Died

>>723780446
No, you misread. Enemy gear gets multiplied so after 3 days killing mobs of the starter zone we'd end up with like 30 swords and spears from these guys.
Since >>723778630 is in effect, weapons don't differ much aside from their shape, weight and possible magical properties. Sharp metal is sharp metal.

Astoras Straight sword is probably the ony unique weapon we can get our hands on that has some kind of magical properties.
everything else we need is easily duped by killing the early game enemies over and over again.

>>723780519
You know we can literally just make a farm of boluses and poison bloom or whatever right? You sound so stupid right now

>>723780692
Challenge accepted

>>723776485 (OP)
imprison man-eater Mildred and make her my wife

>>723780591
Not only will we have to, but we can only farm the plants once per day.

Oh, and you'd have to farm for extra crossbows along with bolts. A good smith would be valuable in our campaign.

>>723780701
Damn so we can jump without running first, climb over minor obstructions, and walk past fog??

>>723780676
And your Red Army tactics will lead to inevitable mutiny, were all stuck there forever. Also there's only 1 ring for the Four Kings fight.

None of you fuckers had better grief me

>>723780782
Lol nice one anon. No one can jump in real life that's just an urban legend.

>>723780727
And farming that moss takes time. You can't expect to quickly run in and clear everything instantly.

LMFAO @you retards thinking you have the guts to 'charge' the enemy. You would be writhing in pain from a single grazed slash. You aren't going to face off against a 10ft man with a giant mace or a demonic boar cladded in armour.

>>723780792
We will equip the ring to you and kick you down the hole, good luck!

>>723776485 (OP)
if it were all the anons here it would look like the satanic death orgy scene in event horizon where the guy shoves his whole arm down another guys throat and then rips out his teeth and eyes. i'd run as far away from the rest of you as possible

>>723780792
You don't need beat the four kings to ring both bells though

>>723780792
Good luck Anon! Thank you for volunteering! We will equip you with the finest stone set.

>OP realizes the logistical nightmare of his instance
>"UHM, ACKTUALLY, EASY MODE IS NOW SELECTABLE AFTER THREE DAYS!"
So much for a coordinated effort

>>723780854
i mean all assumptions are based on how like the game the experience is, if all the enemies and all the attacks are true to the game its not horribly unreasonable that someone that knows the combat by heart could honestly contend with some of the bigger enemies. but if the combat is realistic in any way with enemies doing the best possible move for the situation yeah there is 0 chance

>>723780869
I'm starting to think the best strat is to chill by firelink and not talk to anyone.

>>723780854
I would charge the enemy interest

If we feel pain then it's not doable, I'm sorry. Not unless we draw straws and force people to go out there.

>>723780854
Not at first but after at the very latest a 2 weeks stuck at firelink shrine the first people would start getting organised and inch forward. Humans adapt pretty quickly to new circumstances and activate primal instincts in survival situations. Whenever there's a natural desaster with tornadoes/flooding or sudden war it really doesn't take long for people to switch from cosy 1st world life to survival mode.

>>723780959
>An endless line of anons being kicked one by one to the abyss
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Man_in_the_Maze_(novel)
lmao KINO

>>723780934
The fuck are you talking about?

>>723780854
Pain is a signal for the body to self preserve and stay out of harms way, but there is no such thing as self-preservation when we get soft immortality.

The human body can and WILL adapt to any given situation quickly, death will be no different, the first few deaths will be horrifying, but after your 10th death you will stop caring about the fear and about the pain.

>>723780947
But even with their scripted moves you can't just roll through them you'd just die. Capra alone would be a complete bloodbath. Morale would also be through the floor after getting decapitated over and over.

>>723780854
you'd get over it after the first few dozen horrible deaths

since no one else has, I call dibs (and go and get it first in RP :P)

>>723780959
We take our physically strongest anon, put him in a makeshift gym for a year, and give him stone or havel's armor to fight the Kangz

>>723781037
>the first few deaths will be horrifying, but after your 10th death you will stop caring about the fear and about the pain.
>session pivots into horror survival where everyone becomes desensitized and goes insane and we all start killing each other

>>723780854
people would shit themselves at first (me included), but respawn on death is a form of immortality, so it has no consequence except the pain.

>>723780959
>one anon takes the ring
>kites the 4 kings directly under the hole
>the rest is sitting ready along the stairwell with countless firebombs we farmed over the past 6 weeks
>once they're in place, our personal abysswalker yells "NOW!"
>suddenly twelve thousand firebombs get dumped down onto the 4 kings, purging them and the lone anon in nuclear fire

You need to think outside the box!

>>723781105
>everyone becomes desensitized and goes insane and we all start killing each other
You could say we've gone...hollow

>>723781120
It would be very painful...

>>723780854
I don't see why I can't turtle while someone else backstabs

>>723781141
oh fuck...

>>723781043
>But even with their scripted moves you can't just roll through them you'd just die
you dont need to roll through them, if you know the undead is gearing up for a slash you can time leaning out of the way, theres no contact damage so actually just like running up to the body of larger enemies while constantly moving to be behind it would actually keep you safe from a lot of attacks if they arent allowed to invent new moves

>>723780958
Anon that is the designated murder and rape zone, if the least safe zone in the entire game come, I will adventure with you, and we will coordinate our attacks to take down any enemy.

>>723780959
We don't need 4 kings to ring the bells. Why are you torturing all the anons?

>>723781145
He's a giant guy

>>723781152
You just have to be strong enough to block attacks. No problem.

>>723776485 (OP)
The Gargoyles and Quelog sound way too hard. Just imagining Blight town would make me puke. Now that I think about it Blight town has the path of dragon though?

>>723781127
Even that fucking snake down there will burn like the brightest star.

>>723781161
OP already confirmed that enemies fight "realistically" so no preprogrammed movesets

>>723781190
Finally using the two handing a shield move.

??? There are over 100 of us, there aren't that many enemies, and the game world is tiny we can just bumrush past everything to ring the bells

>>723776485 (OP)
If it follows the game logic of HP, fog gates etc. then fucked.
But if it's more realistic I feel like anyone could do it after weeks of trying, since you could just try finding or making a makeshit ladder to skip as much as you can, grab some barrels to boost yourself up to shortcuts.
All while you try your best to run past enemies.
Even blighttown can be cheesed by simply going to the master key door and bashing it open with a big rock, then tie long ass rope (hopefully you'd find some somewhere) and go down it to the bottom to avoid everything.

Quelaag might be the worst part, since there's no way to bypass her at all and she's fast enough to catch you no matter what you do.
Also Gargoyles depending on how they act, will they get pissed off and come down if I try climbing the wall from the back rather than entering the roof? If not it's easy, otherwise I guess it'd be nearly impossible not even due to the Gargoyles but the army of enemies right before them that you can't really avoid. Gargoyles themselves are slow enough to where you could probably just run past them inside the tower and ring the bell.

>everything starts off fine
>sending in people to find a way to ring the bells
>eventually at least half of us become hollow from all the pain or start cults or weird rape shit
>we have a massive civil war
>entire operation breaks down and everyone scatters
>massive psycho rape hollow army roving around lordran sucking up surviving anons who haven't gone insane
DARK SOULS IIII

>>723781182
Fuck it may as well link the fire while we're down there

>>723781226
>One quelaag attack and 73 Anons are burning alive in lava.

>>723781261
We should just make like a thousand bows and shoot the bitch dead.

The strength in number is overwhelming. 40-50 retards is enough to zug zug everything

>>723781206
yeah then realistically no, the best option is to gather materials for ladder anon and just cheese and ignore as much as possible to just ring the 2 bells

>>723781261
Do any of her attacks take up more than like 1/100th of the arena
and I'm sure anons will be trying to fuck her they can distract her

>>723781127
I swear, having access to basically infinite firebombs locked behind some of the weakest enemies of the game is the key to winning this challenge.

>>723781226
>There are over 100 of us
>implying this entire thread isn't just one anon talking to himself

>>723776485 (OP)
I reject the premise. You cannot have a Dark Souls without Brolaire.

idk anons cant we just chill and relax in firelink it's a nice peaceful existence.

>>723781281
Ladder guy in dark souls 2 is just the isekaid anon from the first game who didn't want out of the game

>>723781234
>"guys who has the master key again?"
>"I thought you were holding on to it?"
>"fuck"

>>723781330
BRAVO MIYAZAKI

>>723781329
You're risking an undead gay orgy

>>723781043
Depends on how many people are allowed into the boss area, and if the bosses health resets. We could have an endless line of anon-fodder where the boss gets no rest.
Also I feel you guys are severely underestimating the power of numbers. 20+ faggots simultaneously stabbing capra would stunlock his ass.

You guys would just ring the bells and leave? What about the world? Are you just going to leave it to decay?

>>723781362
Not my problem

>>723781361
Bryh are you going to be the first to approach the guy holding double fucking machetes

>>723781329
what do we eat and where do we shit?

>>723781362
We don't have any fire juice though and if Frampt counts as an NPC it's practically impossible even with the lord vessel.

>>723781362
Isn't it canonically doomed to fail anyway until many millenia later in Dark Souls 3 when you can actually actually break the cycle for real this time?

step 1. make some bows and arrows
step 2. teach anons how to use bows
step 3. form some lines and shoot everything to death

I take an small army of a hundred anons for an expedition down the Great Hollow. After weeks of being crushed by falls, turned to stone by basilisks, pummeled by mushrooms, drenched by the hydra, and impaled by crabs, we finally reach outr end goal that require every ounce of strength from every single one of us...

...hauling the dragon greatsword back up that tree

>>723781420
It just needs a few good carpenters.

>>723781226
I mean, I have good stamina due to cardio and am slim, I lift and know how to correctly wield a machete (with enough strength and dexterity to chop down trees), but what about all the fat retards who can barely walk? Will they be of any use if they can't even go up the stairs before running out of breath? We are talking intense physical activity here.

>>723781409
>what do we eat
We farm the armored boar
>where do we shit?
Down a cliff into blight town of course

>>723781409
Jump off the cliff when you feel hungry or like shitting.

Wait I just realized, there won't be a bonfire at Firelink because the firekeeper NPC won't be there...
Uhh shit

>>723781449
>breaks because you used the r2 too much and no blacksmith to repair it

>>723781361
I always got the impression that Capra had rhino skin that would be hard to penetrate. Also he's absurdly strong it would be like swatting ants for him.

>>723781043
capra is getting cheesed from outside the fog wall, if game rules apply

>>723781425
>step 1. make some bows and arrows
>step 2. teach anons how to use bows
Pic related is right there, respawns every 24h and crossbows were literally used because you could learn to shoot them in a few days compared to the years it takes to master archery

>>723781475
lmfao canonical

>>723781485
You can throw firebombs over the capra demon stone wall ingame btw, I wouldn't even have to see the fucker

>shoot the tail for the drake sword
>it falls off into the void

>>723781476
This is important stuff actually. What time is breakfast gonna be served at and what are the options?

Depends on whether or not ringing the bells forcibly sends EVERYONE home. There'd probably be enough anons that enjoy an eternal life of fighting and dying and doing it all over again to try and sabotage other anons' plans of going home.

>>723781475
armored boar doesn't respawn

>>723781528
I really hope the drake just chills in its set location. If it gets hungry and regularly swoops down to firelink to snack we might have to kill a dragon.

>>723781361
>anon cleaved into two halves immediately

>>723781520
Oh yeah we could just take those lol. And you can have a backup crossbow to fire. Everyone gets 2 crossbows fuck it.

>>723781549
FUCK you're right.
Then we only have the rats and these guys I guess?

>>723781541
Finally we can Larp as romans

>glitches through a wall into the void
>never to be seen again

>Approaches you and your scouting party

Assuming what kind of real world strength it would to backstab through demon fire treated magic plate armor (that nobody is going to have), how do we deal with these guys? There's at least 3 between the two bells. It's going to be a massacre.

>>723781620
Make fun of his tiny head

>>723781620
We push them down the abyss

>>723781539
Don't forget the elevensies, luncheon, afternoon tea dinner and supper!

>>723781620
* it would take to backstab

>>723781620
Suicide tackle off of a ledge for the one before Taurus Demon
Good luck with the others

>>723781549
Yeah I guess it's just rat meat and eventually some basilisk meat if we're brave enough. Cannibalism isn't cool and hollows don't look very nutritious.

>>723781620
Holy fuck look at his positioning as well. Our numbers will count for NOTHING. It's fucking over.

>>723781362
>someone manages to clip through a wall and rushes through the entire game
>we finally kill Quelagg
>everything goes dark before we can ring the second bell
>we're back in Firelink for some reason
>confusion immediately shifts to terror when we finally realize what's going on
>it's new game plus and speedrunner-kun already bolted off

>>723781620
We don't know for certain if Hollows need to breathe, so it's entirely feasible for us to suffocate him under our corpses and then loot his body (repeat until enough anons are gigaknigga'd up to no longer be necessary)

>>723781401
If I have to be. Sure it's gonna suck ass, but I won't stay dead, and I really really, don't want to live in dark souls land. If you faggots waste my sacrifice, I'm totally gonna push you off blight town at least once.

>>723781620
Do we ever have to get close to one?
The greatsword one guarding the BTS is just chilling there.
The UGS one infront of the armored boar up the tower is also just chilling there.

Aside from that our only hope is to rush him with 10 guys, everyone try to grapple his arms and legs and topple him over and keep him pinned. Then someone can try to stab a sword or dagger into his face through the visor

>>723781671
>>723781620
weren't most of these fucks optional.
don't disturb the one in the undead burg
don't go to the hydra area
don't go up the tower at the undead burg either

>>723781620
I would listen to what he has to say and that's what nobody did

>>723781539
hopefully some /ck/ anons get pulled in with us

>>723781719
"I think dark souls 2 is a good game"

>>723781729
There's not enough food to feed this many people. We'll have to just KILL some of us

>>723776485 (OP)
well, first thing i'm gonna do is ride the giant crow to the prison and get the fucking Estus flask (it only says you don't have one, not that it isn't in the world).

>>723781760
Some Anons will be amputated and kept alive to keep the meat fresh.

>>723781620
genuinely kino imagining these guys cutting down swarms of anons in sacrificial runs to back them towards a cliff and knock them off

>>723781785
isn't that what happens in firepunch (i never read it) there's a guy who regens his body so they use him for food iirc

>>723781539
Eat? Nigga, we're undead. The only things we consume are fire and humanity.

>>723781760
I propose a voting system where we vote for who has to get eaten periodically. Naturally as the organiser of said system I will be exempt from it.

Me beating up a hollow just for fun

>>723781620
THIS THING HUNTS DEMONS YOU DONT STAND A CHANCE

Time to post the best website again
https://noclip.website/#dks/m10_02_00_00;ShareData=AaHIb98FvgT8l!R9I|SgVg_SL5lgOMUj)xKT}K5o+qoY?USz!)UKN3j9l4A&VS

You can just move through the maps for vidya in this one.
Good for planning.

>>723781706
>don't go to the hydra area
buddy my ass is not going to blighttown through the front door

>>723781821
But if we munch a humanity then we can be human again! But what will we eat...

>>723781686
I take the hypothetical respawn to work the same way it does in-game, so you'll probably be dusted instead of leaving a corpse

>>723781853
wait do we get the master key

>>723776485 (OP)
>know the map layout
>have the ability to climb areas without enemies
trivial

Yeah we need to kill the hydra I'm not living off fucking rats,

>>723781876
Nigga we don't even get i-frames or leveling up, fuck the master key we can just break doors

>>723781876
One anon does. Unfortunately he's too shy to tell anyone he has it.

>>723781839
neat

>>723781876
Almost certainly not.

IT'S SO OVER AAHHHHH IT'S POINTLESS WE CAN NEVER DO IT NEVER EVER NEVER BEAT HIM NEVER EVER

>>723781876
We get the pendant lol

>>723781871
No, we're still undead for as long as we bear the darksign. The only way to purge this curse is to ring those bells, or so we were told.

We DO know ringing those bells will send us home, right? No tricks, no surprises, no twists?

>>723776485 (OP)
I'm patient enough to grind through the first two bells with my trusty morning star.

Quelaag seems like a pretty hard wall i seriously doubt even a horde of anons could handle her, and i don't think there's enough firebombs laying around to kill her either.

>>723781994
There is 1 power powerful enough to defeat any female monster, and we have that power.

Bros help I'm stuck in the tomb of giants

Do you think we could make a comfy town to live in dark souls?

>>723781994
I think the swamp before her is the bigger problem, as purple moss is limited. Once we get 50 anons across the shit water alive, we should be able to overwhelm her.

>>723782161
>anon somehow singlehandedly made his way past the catacombs
I think we need to rescue him and get him to help us guys

>>723782217
He belongs to the skeletons now.

>>723782041
FINALLY WE CAN UNLEASH OUR WHITE SAVAGERY

WAIT

NONE OF YOU ARE WHITE!
FUCK

Man that was a wild adventure guys. So before we ring the 2nd bell, do we wanna exchange contacts?

>>723782248
But we are human males.

>>723782204
We’ll make a boat

>>723782280
y-you too

>>723782280
We are not ringing the bell, nigga, not until we fuck Priscilla.

>>723782204
If you're suicide rushing her anyway you can just run in poisoned, get your one attack off then die.

>>723782303
Actually its not that deep, we can just make a fucking bridge by piling up logs and rocks and shit

>>723782338
we are NOT waiting for you fucks to make it to Priscilla, you guys can take turns fucking Fair Lady's tits, but after that we are LEAVING.

>>723782338
I’m leaving, you have fun getting killed by invisibitch

>>723782359
>make bridge
>giant breaks it

>>723782338
see
>>723778890
I'm out, have fun!

>>723782303
>out of the dark sky comes a boulder

But what if someone breaks the bell....

>>723776485 (OP)
I've done sl1 before It's going to be ok

>>723782409
just hug the wall and they'll be too busy fucking their rocks to notice us

>>723782486
Oh, that would be terribly unfortunate.

>>723776485 (OP)
i can't run so probably not well

>>723778202
actually since you can just pick up environmental equipment (like crates of swords next to a wall) unlike the player character you'd probably have everyone fully equipped in the first hour

>>723782552
you can organize shit back at base or throw bombs

What would be /v/'s genuine reaction to seeing Frampt appear in Firelink be after ringing the second bell? After the shock of not being sent home passes that is

>>723782338
you can't get to priscilla. isn't the crow an npc? there's no crow, there's no undead asylum there's no painted world. and how the fuck would you go through sen's cock and ball torture anyway?

>>723782552
You can be the official stress relief rape meat.

>>723782594
the smell would be worse.

>>723782576
RUN FASTER DAMNIT
WE ARE RUNNING SO FAST THE WHEEL IS SPINNING IN THE WRONG DIRECTION JUST A BIT MORE!!

>>723782348
I don't think the average anon will have the movement speed and HP to even touch her shore, let alone make all the way into her nest. It's going to be a real problem.

The poison swamp will be filled and dried with the bodies of anons!

>>723782280
So uhhhh about that... I uhh.. anyway bye!

>>723782668
actually now that i think about it she's a "friendly NPC" so she won't even be there.

>>723782594
>"HOLY SHIT AN NPC!"
>"GUISE, HE EATS ITEMS AND GIVES SOULS. WE'RE RICH!"
>"I have a better idea"
>he reaches for dung pies

>>723782601
>through
just fucking climb over it dumbass
get a ladder or make a shitty grappling hook and skip all that bullshit

>>723782552
It's ok you can fly instead

I'm sorry anons, but this is our new home.

>>723782721
>shit shoveling soul production factory
>tfw we cant even use the souls for anything

>get group of twenty dudes.
>rush every enemy, drag them down or seppuku with them off a drop.
>anyone that dies just runs back to the group.
>clear within 24 hours.
Dark souls would be a joke when you vastly outnumber tge enemies.

>>723782774
And thus anon was known as the first sinner, and the age of anonimity began...

>>723782817
Don't forget you are here forever.

>>723782786
At this rate we've turned blightown into a nature preserve by shoveling all the shit into frampt

So we're really doing this, huh? We're going through Sen's? Oh, no, no. After you, friend!

We did it anons. We turned this cool kingdom full of fighting and adventure into fucking farmville

>>723782991
I wouldn't want to fuck with the lizardmen, but the funhouse itself wouldn't be that bad, the traps are all really telegraphed.
The giant throwing bombs would be an issue though.

>>723783043
Don't forget the lightning spear+10 inside the mimic. Probably THE strongest weapon we can obtain in this world.

So since bells work for everyone individually and some of us stay behind after Sen's opens up:
Do you think that we could manage to beat Iron Golem and if so:

Do you think the demons carrying us up to anor londo would get tired after like the 10th dude standing there and waiting to be carried up?
Do they need to take a break from ferrying up obese neckbeards?

>>723783043
Is /v/ fit enough to make it through the traps? What about the dangerous snake men? Anyone who falls gets raped by titanite demons.

Oh, neat, a chest!

>>723776485 (OP)
Sounds awful, I would simply not

>>723776843
>get creative but also you can't use any magic because erm you just cant ok????!??!??
fuck off

>>723783187
How stupid do you have to be to get hit by a pendulum blade? all the arrow holes would be filled with shit 15 minutes after /v/ arrived, so the arrow traps would stop working.

>>723783340
/v/irgins are slow and fat enough to get hit by them. Also, mind the flamberge snake men with ranged attacks

What if we simply pay the demons to leave us alone?

>>723781556
Speaking of the drake. I wonder how many anons are going to fail the initial sprint. It might look easy but a full sprint to avoid those flames is likely going to be impossible for the lardasses.

>>723783412
honestly best bet with the snakemen is to run past them and lure them into the traps. they are slow and stupid enough to get hit by pendulum blades

>>723783327
>wants to cheese everything with magic
>thinks this is a creative solution
I could tear the box to pieces and you still wouldn't be able to think outside of it

>>723776485 (OP)
Canonically why wouldn't I be able to use the souls to level up?

>>723776485 (OP)
>You have been Isekaid to a Dark Fantasy World
>You can't use any Fantasy of that World

>>723783676
Because you are a tarnished and need grace instead of souls.

>>723783720
That's retarded

>>723777579
You're worse than that retard. Subaru can use the magic in the world he was Isekaid.

>>723776485 (OP)
>farm the bomb hollows until you have a team of bombermen
>shit all over the bosses on first try
ez

ight imma head out to the real world now.

>>723776485 (OP)
I move and react significantly faster than anything in souls.
so given the fact that I'm not a badly programed clunky pile of shit who moves in slow motion with completely unresponsive controls.. I'd clean up. nothing would even be able to hit me.

>>723778124
Love watching autists get filtered by this anime

>>723776485 (OP)
>all NPCs are absent
what is the point then? Might as well go to anothe realm and do fuck all if I am gonna be alone in this shithole

>>723780168
For me, it's the Undead Merchant (female).

>>723782810
Yup even bosses can't beat getting jumped
https://youtu.be/gLbZRVIIaTE

Cook and eat other anons
on nom nom nom

DIBS ON ESTOC

>>723784464
Bitch, you can't even mid roll repeatedly

>>723776843
>"Okay anons after several months and dozens of excruciating will-breaking deaths to the zombies at the parish we've rigged up this trap that'll drop a boulder on the gargoyles!"
>Deals three longsword swings worth of damage
>Everyone gets helplessly merc'd since nobody has the raw strength to cleave through stone like the chosen undead
"Creativity."

>masterkey to poopswamp
>gangrape murderhobo machete woman all day
More like rape souls kekeke

>>723781425
Have you ever even made a functional bow and arrows before? It takes alot more effort than you think.

>>723785372
I don't need to roll at snails pace. I can just dash.

>>723781620
We just flat out avoid them.

>>723783992
Cant we get spell slots through a ring or something?

>>723776485 (OP)
I assume that fog gates are also absent, and I run past all the mobs and bosses.
If I can't level up, what's the point in fighting?

>>723776485 (OP)
Anon Fun Fact!: If you fell into lava, you wouldn't make a splash. You'd bounce and skid across it like the world's most tortured skipping stone.

>>723785827
You're not dashing for long distances either. While it's true that you will be able to sprint for a longer amount of time in the short term due to Chosen Undead's stamina bar, he will eventually outrun you as fatigue inevitably sets in and you slow down. Keep in mind he would still catch up in heavy armor, which you could only dream of wearing.

>>723785951
>Cant we get spell slots through a ring or something?
Yes, but why would you want Spell Slots if the OP is a retard who won't let you use sorceries/pyromancy/miracles of any kind?

>>723776485 (OP)
>can't level up
>can't use any spells
>no npcs
whats the fucking point im not a god damn souls speedrunner

I'd probably clear half the game at most, I see myself getting absolutely filtered by the ghost section under the shrine. It would simply be too stressful.

>>723786251
For the sake of fun lets say you can learn magic or miracles if you have the ring.

>grind hundreds of firebombs with fellow anons
>kill quelagg by having 30 dudes running around firebombing her to death while being burned alive
everything else would be pretty easy

>>723776485 (OP)
Who would want to live in that hell? Even with an estus flask, you're getting reamed by swords up your anus for nothing but a dead world. Even if some anon was in love with some NPC you've removed the ability to even visit them.

>>723776485 (OP)
This is just a half assed SL1 playthrough up to Sen's Fortress and no further. Gay.

>>723778374
Fuck anon now you make me sad that of the 999999 japanese isekai not a single one is an entire imageboard getting isekai'd to the gaming dimension and wrecking absolute havoc.

>>723786324
how much mp do you have

>>723781197
viable option if someone can get past the hydras water vomit

>>723786168
chosen undead is #1 not a boss fight
#2 such a pathetic slow blob of shit you could out run him in seconds and be out of sight.
not that you'd really need to out run him since his attacks are so laggy and slow and his unresponsive cool down frames are ridiculous.

If the bosses and enemies are still confined to their usual movesets then it could be easy enough to 'iframe' everything. Your hitbox is your literal body and you have access to 'animations' like jump or sidestep. You can aim for critical bodyparts unless that isn't a thing, there's the question of whether something like gargoyles would cause environmental damage. Blighttown poison just wear boots

>rush zweihander
>rush burg bonfire
>try havel if its possible to jump on and cling to his back and just wail on him
>die
>rush dragon bridge to bonfire
>suicide rush to andre bonfire
>natsuki subaru the gargoyles (the baldur knight will probably cause PTSD more than the gargoyles - especially if you can just ride the gargoyles back and stab it like that)
>straight to basin cave bonfire
>open elevator door to firelink
>suicide rush blighttown bonfire
If you can ride queelag and cum on her back then kill her its ez pz but if poison can actually affect you through your feet you might actually have to come up with a strat here

The rules are boring. New scenario.
>Start at Undead Asylum, each Anon is contained in his own cell, only (You) get a key from Oscar of Astora, but it will work on all the other cells you come across. Assume level geometry changes so there are more wings of cells.
>There is only one Estus Flask, gained from Oscar as normal, this will heal any wound you have gradually, but is straight cellular regeneration. Foreign objects won't be removed.
>Items pickups are not duplicated, but all enemy equipment can be picked up. Treat this as a 100% drop rate for anything any enemy is carrying.
>Sorceries, pyromancies and miracles are all usable, but Anons must have the stats to use them.
>Leveling up is permitted, but all participating Anons share a single soul pool and level ups only apply to one Anon at a time with normal costs, so you can dump it all on one Anon or try to spread the levels out.
>Death is permanent, no respawning, but resting at a bonfire will heal you the same as an estus flask, it will also respawn every enemy in the area as normal, even if other Anons are out in the level. This is bad enough that respawning enemies can telefrag Anons standing in an unfortunate spot.
>Curse petrification won't kill, but Anons subjected to it will remain petrified until a purging stone is used on him. In exchange, petrification build-up is multiplied by two.
>When an Anon dies, he will leave behind a bloodstain with a portion of souls from the collective pool equal to the percentage of all souls spread equally amongst all Anons. Example, if you have ten Anons with a thousand souls, one Anon dying will cost the pool a hundred.
>All NPCs and vendors are available, but they only carry their inventory, for items that are infinite, they now only carry 99.
>Boss HP is multiplied by 50% per participating Anon and will fall by the same amount for each Anon who dies.
Do you make it? Or do the others kill you for their own advantage? Go.

>>723787816
>Death is permanent, no respawning
And I stopped reading there. You think I'm participating in a Lord of the Flies scenario waiting to happen with permadeath? Kiss my ass.

The gargoyles rape us forever because they're made of solid fucking stone. Have any of you nigger tried to break a large rock before? Our only bet would be getting our hands on a working ballista or jerry rigging one out of a greatbow and whatever we can find on the map.

>>723787117
I am not comparing them in a fight, but rather their ability to travel across the overworld. Chosen Undead will not only have infinite stamina in the long run, but will also increase his own burst movement as he levels up. Depending on where the points go, he might even be able to sprint for longer than you can as early as Blighttown. This is without considering how quickly he can fast roll through deep water while one normally has to wade through it.

And that's just limited to running! He can perform all the rolls, jumps, blocks, and swings that he wants as long as he waits a few seconds for his stamina to recover after a few actions. With enough endurance, which really isn't that much, a fast rolling CU will be far more agile than the average man in his prime.

>>723787907
There have to be stakes. You can always choose not to release other Anons from their cells and go it alone.

Oh, when you beat Gwyn, all surviving Anons are transported to Dark Souls 2: Scholar of the First Sin, and so on to Dark Souls 3. DLC included.

>>723788021
>"So here's dark souls but you have a truckload of debuffs on your ass on top of permadeath, sounds fun?"
Yeah no. Just clearing the game as an isekai'd you would be hard even with infinite respawning.

The stakes are the same as in the original story. You go hollow if you fail your quest. Every time you die, you canonically lose some of your sanity. In hindsight, a realism version of DaS would actually have a limited number of lives equal to the amount of humanity you currently have.

>>723788131
Hey, you get level ups, and "friends", and you don't even have to farm for equipment

>>723778124
The first season was great and I had hoped he would reach incredible levels of being mind broken but then it turned into total harem slop.

>>723778846
I'm with this guy

>>723778975
I would just crawl in her ass and die over and over. You fags can do what you want.

>>723787998
not relevant since OP said that bonefires heal you.
so you only need to kill bosses, make camp and repeat.

>>723776485 (OP)
Fucking dead simple. We can't die for good, enemies only respawn once a day and with how this is set up there can't be any way for bosses to reset when one anon dies so we just decide on one bell, charge forward endlessly and keep going until the path is cleared and everyone can take turns ringing the bell. Then head to the other bell. Even if you only get one hit on an enemy or boss per life, they'll die in the end.

>>723788710
You're really out here telling us you'll volunteer as the camp whore?

>>723788234
I didn't mind Subaru confronting his own previous and current failings. That's classic hero's journey stuff, and the suffering in the early seasons gave his later competence some credibility. I agree that the tone is too light though. Subaru's whole selling point is that he's fundamentally a mediocre guy forced to play a role meant for some kind of mythical hero and has to suffer immensely for every inch of progress. Instead Tappei is leaning more and more into having Subaru use his Epic Smarts(tm) and allies to win without dying even once. Sometimes I think he just forgot that other characters don't trust Subaru because he's a genius but because he knows the fucking future

>>723788762
>camp whore
You can't say that.

>>723787949
We can get Gold Pine Resin from the mushroom men in Darkroot Garden, so we could take the Gargoyles down by zerging them with resin boosted weapons.

>>723791159
Sounds fun, you guys can work on that and I'll go do literally anything else.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO THIS ISN'T NIOH.
I WANT OUT I WANT OUT I WANT OUT OUT OUT!!!
HEEEEELP MEEEEEEE!!!

>>723791159
We can take everything down by zerging it.

Guys the dragon isn't even here I don't have the stamina to climb back can someone throw down a rope

>>723794610
*OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH*
laughs at you from up top
*OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH*

Some Anons are actually Nonas.
I will likely be tortured endlessly when caught... but before then, my sadism will be appeased.

>>723794610
not just killing yourself any time you get hungry or tired
ash lake would be a cool place to hang out really

>>723780168
>I would rape femanons
literally don't exist unless you count /tttt/

>>723776650
Anon, you are in a thread full of them.
>>723776485 (OP)
>No sorceries/miracles.
Fuck that. Just raid the bosses with a crew and do bare minimum to survive and get out. Do glitches exist?

kill the admin for making these shitty rules

I'll offer free blowjobs to all tired and sweaty anons!

>>723776485 (OP)
give me a spear and gwyn will be gargling my balls in a few hours

>>723776485 (OP)
Given enough time I can farm poison arrows with the female merchant, leave the capra demon to me! With some parkour we can win easily!

>>723777075
Should have enough anons in this thread to keep certain areas perma clear

Main targets are the parish elevator and the spider's nest below
Get our leanest/strongest anon to spam attempt to climb the chains on the firelink - parish elevator until it works. Encourage him to prevent hollowing. Hoard armor and clothing to make cloth ropes long enough to eventually climb down the stone walls and directly on top of the spider's nest, skipping the whole swamp. Keep these travel routes manned and safe
>What combat against gargoyles and queelag?
Amass the biggest army in front of the door and enter all at once. Bait enemy attacks and abuse numbers advantage. Be willing to die

>That anon who wants to larp as Guts but can't even lift the greatsword.
Fucking hate Guts larpers dragging the rest of us down.

>>723776843
>dude what if we sent you to this fantasy world
>but you can't use magic or get stronger or anything
>so yeah all the pain and agony of dying but like none of the cool stuff such as becoming a demigod through the souls you earn from deadly efforts
Fuck creativity, I'm just not working for free. If I'm truly trapped there I'm just going to throw myself off a cliff until I hollow so I don't have to deal with that raw deal.

It's like asking "what if you lived in the pokemon world but you don't get any pokemon and just have to clean Tauros shit for the rest of your life". Fuck out of here with that no fun allowed faggotry.

Become Priscilla's footboy

>>723776485 (OP)
>you are transported to a world where the only option is to die
>what do you do
die i guess

>>723779328
>stone dragon conspicuously absent because fextralife is a shit wiki
I'll take it.
Dragon torso stone here I come

Anyone that comes near me is getting knocked on their fat ass. No, you don’t know how to use a bladed weapon no matter how long or big.

>>723800928
Comfykino.

I'm going to the painted world no matter what. I want soft and fluffy.

>>723776485 (OP)
I'm curious about something, how do fat people imagine themselves in scenarios like this? Are they still disgusting subhuman useless lardasses in their heads? Or do they make themselves pretend that they wouldn't get winded while walking up to the aqueduct? Or do they just refuse to accept the scenario and lash out in the thread acting as if it's impossible.

>>723801540
I'll become the new firelink shrine forlorn schizo.

>>723776485 (OP)
I'll just invade anons here. I'm 6'4, nobody here is doing shit to me lol

I'd try to figure out a way to get water going in firelink shrine. People will always return there and people will always need water. Perhaps i can figure out how to brew farm ale too.

>>723804159
>I'm 6'4, nobody here is doing shit to me lol
Thanks for being a big easy target.

>>723776485 (OP)
I would make frens with that big ol birb over dere.

Can't we just have a lockpicker autist picklock all doors? Who needs the masterkey when you can just pick apart a medieval tier blacksmithed lock?

>>723802485
What lora and model did you use for such an accurate Priscilla?