Thread 724599924

Are you retarded or just very good at pretending?

video game essays are retarded down syndrome and in fact everyone that makes them should get killed but posting on /v/ isn't a better use of anyone's time

Video essays become cringe when you recognize they're an endless slop mill designed to appeal to midwits who aren't intelligent enough to come up with opinions on their own. It's like looking for good reviews, except that's an hour of pseudointellectual glazing. If you talk to a zoomer, you will occasionally catch them regurgitating talking points from a video essay, since it's what they base their entire personality off of, and their list of favorite games (or favorite media in general) is informed by videos like this.

>Click a video about horror games
>The video creator is an early 20s kid who claims Slender was the apex of horror gaming and he goes on to talk about FNAF for 40% of the vid

>>724600309
>who claims Slender was the apex of horror gaming
It was though

>>724599924 (OP)
There have been dissertations written on paintings that you can look at in 1 second.

>>724600134
Being fair if you find a channel like this or a review channel that has the same taste as you unironically I have no shame if they post something I might watch or play then just playing it myself rather than letting somebody else tell me about it. Its how I found out about Gorgon's Garden even if the ending was weak as fuck.

video essays are for /v/edditor transexual niggers to get their opinions programmed onto their NPC heads.
they then go on /v/eddit and make posts pretending to have played those games.

>>724600773
>that has the same taste as you
Every video essayist channel has the same taste as you
I challenge you to find 1 channel akin to the one in the OP image that has ever posted a single negative video essay, or even included negative details about the game it's essaying about.

>>724600134
no shit
90% of anything is crap, I don't know how it took until video essays for you to figure that out

>>724600867
there are plenty of negative video essays

>>724600883
I'm talking about video essays specifically, nigger

>>724601058
Post one that isn't either:
>making fun of a game that's notoriously bad
or
>a review

>>724601076
yes and I'm saying that most are tripe
also tripe is usually popular, just how it goes

>>724601160
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIl6t_ndw38

>>724599924 (OP)
I'm convinced video essays are a psyop to make things look gay and lame

>>724600867
Okay youre gay and retarded next question
https://youtu.be/m66b40JEqwM?si=Ud136u4belbMrXFN

Fucking Nexpo
Retard Nexpo
'I failed the coin toss in SOMA' Nexpo
'2 hours of talking shit just to end it in WE DUNNO LOL' Nexpo
'Podcast highlight to YouTube video' Nexpo
Fuck Nexpo

>>724601354
Im not underage enough to remember a random scene from spongebob sorry

>>724599924 (OP)
where 99% of the runtime is spent summarizing the plot of the game, reading out every single dialouge and action

which if it wasn't obvious is utterly idiotic, since the person watching has either already played the game and therefore already knows all that, or hasn't played it and they either just don't care and won't be watching the video or won't be playing the game once you do a fucking playthrough disguised as an essay

>>724599924 (OP)
Really dislike this guy's voice.
Also his pronounciation of "Ludmila" in the video about those lost Russians was really cringe. He was trying way too much to pronounce it close to Russian.

>>724600134
>zoomers
this has always been the case for normalfags. before video essays, it was this guy

>>724601489
NTA. I vividly remember every single scene from the first few seasons of spongebob and I'm 28

>>724599924 (OP)
>Disturbing Things from Around the Internet
>Most of the topics covered have fuckall to do with the internet

>>724601713
29 huh? Hope you're ready to start finding out about random microstrokes

>>724599924 (OP)
>>724599924 (OP)
I got recommended an essay about this game and three minutes into the video I could feel the faggot particles punching through my spirit like gamma radiation cutting holes through a ukrainian father of 3's organs in chornobyl. So I immediately went and pirated it to amuse myself. You walk around doing nothing but contemplate the game's (slightly) interesting premise of being unable to see and relying on your visor's innacurate "predictions" of what you're looking at.All of that doesn't really matter. In reality the game is about going back and forth finding literal fucking discord chat logs between a dozen unfunny faggots having the world's most insufferable love triangle where I deduced the 'main' character of the logs was a tranny like 30 minutes early because it was physically impossible for a game to be this gay and lame without having a tranny there somewhere. The end is also underwhelming and it strengthens my belief that the horror genre is dead and will be dead until a global recession makes all the trannies and faggots die of fentanyl overdose.

>>724601860
I actually exercise and eat healthy, so no

>>724601860
I don't want to know your masturbation techniques, Anon.

for me it's blameitonjorge

>>724600134
>If you talk to a zoomer, you will occasionally catch them regurgitating talking points from a video essay
How can you even recognize that unless you also watched the same essay

>>724602093
so he watched the same essay, what's your point?

>>724602858
That he's a midwit watching an endless slop mill because he isn't intelligent enough to come up with his own opinions

>>724601248
no response lol

>>724603018
people never respond on 4chan when they're proven wrong

>>724600134
actually they're designed to appeal to lonely people who want to have someone talking in the background. there is literally no other reason why any video essay is longer than 30 minutes top. any serious critique can be condescend to that length or shorter. it only goes longer because "essayists" have to talk about every little obsession, or give unnecessarily broad background context.

>>724599924 (OP)
>nexpo turned into insufferable faggot
>Nick Nocturne/night mind started decent with actual analysis videos but the author became a furry and now every video is just showing fragments of the original content discussed and then spending 10 minutes explaining what the viewer just saw

>>724601160
https://youtu.be/82HsVcAhPro
Here's one talking about how demakes are ruining the industry, I know you contrarian fucks would love that.

>vidya mystery and lost media videos are this over preformative spooky shit
>true crime videos are people giggling over actual murder

>>724604448
shut up incel tiny dick

>>724606871
why do they talk like that

>>724607084
This has been going on for years anon

>>724604448
>>724607119
>anon makes a completely normal post
>not even instigating anything
>someone else has a mental breakdown over it for literally no reason
has anyone else been noticing this here recently? what causes this phenomenon?

>>724607406
either bots or trying too hard to fit in. I don't even bother seriously responding to short inflammatory replies anymore.

>>724607391
they both have sex in front of me

>>724607520
Alright

>>724607406
That post is so wrong. It's like saying lonely people listen to audio books to simulate a conversation.

Essays are longer than 30 minutes because essayists have nothing to say. Most of them are a play-by-play of everything that happens in the game because they are relying completely on the work for content. They are incapable of synthesizing content that stand apart from the work itself.

>>724600134
>someone puts thought and effort into a thing
>4chan seethes and calls it "midwit" and "pseudointellectual"
every time

>>724599924 (OP)
the game was in development for 2 years tho, so it makes sense

>>724602074
He’s just too young. Watching him feels like listening to my nephew talk about roblox.

>>724609020
except that explains how they get made not why they are watched. you said it yourself, most video essays are low effort long form content that just are mostly play by plays. now why would somebody watch low effort long form content unless they wanted something they could put on in the background while doing something else? i might've been judgemental by calling these people "lonely" but who the fuck cares about that.

it's exactly the same thing as livestream but in a prepackaged form.

>>724604448
>actually they're designed to appeal to lonely people
More specifically people who grew up on the Internet. These are the people who play game, then open YouTube to spend the rest of the day watch somebody else talk about the game they like. That is the closest thing they have to a childhood friend whom they can play and talk vidya with.

>>724601917
>i could feel the faggot particles
Glad I'm not the only one, didn't even need to play it to realize it would be aids.

>>724606871
This was a good video, didn't even think about the console "upgraded" remasters since I've been PCMR for so long, it was good to sharpen my hate for demasters.

>>724599924 (OP)
This retard wanted to kiss the pajeet btw

>>724610289
>I've been PCMR for so long
In other words, you've been a reddit lobomite for so long.

>>724606871
I was gonna post this one. WhiteLight is a great writer.

>>724607185
they're from british

>>724609929
The nice thing about it though is that video essayists care about the stuff I'm interested in more than anyone in real life. They're also usually smarter and more articulate.

>>724600016
He is a natural

>>724611468
>Pong essay
>30 minutes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKMBt1etHUk

>>724599924 (OP)
>Pong essay
>30 minutes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKMBt1etHUk [Embed]

>>724599924 (OP)
>Pong essay
>30 minutes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKMBt1etHUk

>>724609247
>thought and effort
Maybe when this all started but we're a few years into the ChatGPT-ification of the script writing process. If a piece of media is good it will stand on it's own without it's greatness needing to be explained. Making the last four generations of kids "show their work" for retardedly simply answers in school has been a long term disaster for everybody's thought processes.

The 4+ hour long """Analysis""" and """Retrospective"""" that are literally just a recap of the main story and side quests, padded with cinema sins level "critiques" are the worst. There is never any actual analysis, hardly even an opinion or observation.

>>724614859
>If a piece of media is good it will stand on it's own without it's greatness needing to be explained.
So because you feel insecure about other people being better at analysis than you, you're making the point that all analysis of media is pointless? Every once in a while I think I've heard the most retarded opinion on this website but it's always outdone before long.

>>724609020
>It's like saying lonely people listen to audio books to simulate a conversation.
they do you fucking idiot. i literally have an autistic friend who does that.

>>724615019
>watch video essay
>5 minute intro written by chatgpt
>skip
>"now without further ado, let's get to the game"
>"but before that, a word from our sponsor"
>skip
>now without any more delays, let's start the video
>goes on a 3 minute tangent about nothing
>skip
>we get to the video proper
>"so the game starts with..."
>close video

>>724615257
Don't put words in my mouth faggot. I can see why you love outsourcing your thought processes to jewtubers who will never give a shit about you or the other sheep in their audience - you're an illiterate jigaboo nigger who can't read.

>>724607391
>Want a true crime/mystery podcast.
>Literally nothing but these two stereotypes all the way down.
>The few who stray towards and inbetween of them are pozzed as all hell, inserting modern California brainrot into their ideas, like one podcast I listened to that went off on a rant about women's rights over the fucking Dancing Plague of 1518.
>The ONLY two podcasts that are at all tolerable are Wendigoon and the Buzzfeed Unsolved guys of all people.
>Wendigoon spends most of his time going over 2000s era nostalgia now.
>The Buzzfeed dudes started phoning it in really hard and basically now spend 99% of their time just mocking the theories for being "too crazy" or trying to do a video essay on something the tall retarded one read on Wikipedia that day.

I just want to feel the mystery of the universe. That CAN'T be too much to ask for...

>>724615257
Nah, I think the most retardedest opinion I've ever heard was some dude seething in a very long post that people shouldn't talk about their theories about their favorite video games, because there was some youtube videos that talked about some theories about a video game

It went something like this, iirc:

>IN OLD VIDEO GAMES WE DIDN'T TALK ABOUT SECRETS, WE ACCEPTED
>NOW THE JEWS ARE MAKING YOUTUBE ABOUT SECRETS IN MY VIDEO GAMES
>THOSE FUCKING JEWS ARE MAKING MONEY ABOUT TALKING ABOUT MY VIDEO GAME
>IN MY TIME NO ONE TALKED ABOUT MY VIDEO GAME

Which is 6 layers of bitterness, retardation, stupidity, and pajeetry at once.

>>724609247
>someone puts thought and effort into a thing
that's the problem, they didn't. they feel like they're written by chatgpt.

>>724615556
It's a familiar pain.

>>724601805
It’s either that or it’s the most tonal whiplash you’d ever get. One entry will be about a spooky ghost moving a cup and the next will be about a double rape homicide or some shit

>>724617181
I like to watch spooky videos while playing minecraft and that shit pisses me off. I don't mind hearing about terrible shit, sometimes I'm in the mood to fill my head with the horrors of humanity, but I want odd supernatural and unexplainable happenings to not be interrupted with a story about a 5 year old kid being skinned alive and kept alive for 2 weeks in the slow torture puke chamber with an IV drip injecting him with adreneline meth and asbestos based blood and the culprit got away free

>>724615703
Ok, so explain
>If a piece of media is good it will stand on it's own without it's greatness needing to be explained.
and why it isn't a retarded opinion. Good luck.

>>724615810
sounds about right

>>724615927
so find a different video. there's zillions to choose from. and believe it or not, at least some of those zillions of videos are good. if one is bad, you can click away.

>>724609247
Most of these bullshit are just them re-telling the story and reading the game's wiki. The old youtubers put more effort in creating the thumbnail alone with 2010's PC.

>>724619635
All I'm hearing from most of this thread is that you guys are terrible at knowing how to find actually good video creators and just click on whatever slop is shoved at you and then complain

>>724607391
>This video is sponsored by-
Does this bother anyone else? Like to me it feels insensitive, like you otherwise wouldn't have made the video if it didn't generate you income.

>>724599924 (OP)
>so..... he made his way.... to the edge of the room, where..... in his dismay................. he found something he never wished.... to see
nexpo videos are genuinely unwatchable

>>724599924 (OP)
Background noise: the channel

>>724619457
Eat shit and die, tranny.

Isn't it just background noise? Something to listen to while you do whatever you're actually focused on in another tab.

>>724620369
anon stop being so retarded
you're right actually, the other anon misinterpreted what you said and assumed that you disregarded all forms of analysis because you dislike shitty youtube slop but you type like a cock sniffing faggot

"background noise" subhumans ruined everything. Put on a fucking song playlist or ambience videos if you need to shut off your brain.

>>724620614
they're normalfags. normalfags cannot function without constant speech or they will realise they are alone and sad.

>>724620475
Mobile poster. No punctuation. You deserve the rope too (assuming you aren't the same poster, I was originally responding too, which is a very real possibility).

I remember when he was called Nightmare Expo

>>724600134
I just need something to watch while I eat.

>>724599924 (OP)
You expected anything less from Nexpo?

>>724599924 (OP)
video essay format itself is fine, games deserve analysis and discussion. it's just that almost all video essays are awful

4chan is too scary for me. I'm out.

>>724623325
Hearty chuckle from this pic

>>724600867
ENTER