Thread 724707356

Yordle 10000 gold per hour

Ok but how big is her futa girlcock?

How much for five minutes?

>>724707356 (OP)
Reminder

should I lose my virginity to a prostitute bros? I'm 32 years old

>>724707646
Nah just buy a realistic onahole and heat it up to body temperature before use. Feels about the same, is cheaper, and you dont have to worry about STDs.

>>724707646
Wait for robot girlfriend anon, we will have them in our lifetime

>>724707646
nah

>>724707356 (OP)
She wouldn't cost that much because theyre in it for the love of the game

>>724708087
I don't think you can post that.

>>724708304
>>724708149
I didn't watch the whole webm goodnight bros

>>724707464
As big as her cannon, her loads are strong enough to make her rocket jump

>>724707570
>get a Yordle gregnant
>their head swells like, 2-3 times its normal size
Uh

>>724707356 (OP)
I'd like to order 70 years please

>>724707747
What's the best onahole to buy to feel like I'm fucking a yordle?

>>724708815
kek how did this make me laugh
nice one, anon

>>724708815
>>724708993
Someone literally did art of this

>prostitution is le awesome
fuck off degenerate nigger

>>724707356 (OP)
I mean she's good but not 10000 gold per hour good, I'd be willing to pay her like 100.

>>724708387
Godspeed

>>724709038
Imagine when it's time to deliver.

I don't really know what a yordle is, but it looks like a blue goblin so, would.

>>724709038
well that one made me laugh even harder
thanks for sharing
>>724709137
uh... yeah thats not as funny i think....

>>724707570
I was going to post the webm of reimu getting brainfucked but I couldn't find it

>>724709137
>>724709193
Maybe her womb just descends into her abdomen after she gets pregnant.

>>724709038
Oh wow. Yeah that's basically what I imagined.
>>724709137
Even if a Yordle is only 2-3 ft tall that's still a hell of a distance for the baby to go
That Yordle is going to look like a snake that's eaten a melon, or a cartoon hose that someone's stood on.

>>724707646
Idk anon, should you?

>>724709520
Poor girl, she needs Jesus.

>>724709634
Heyzeus is in the car Anon.

>>724708981
Look up reviews for realistic ones where people note them as being exceptionally tight.

>>724707646
Yes, why not? Just don't be foolish and spend your entire paycheck because you won't get it back. Just go to your local brothel, have a couple of beers, and choose the one you like best.

>>724709168
It's a blue sexy goblin, purple sexy goblin, teal sexy goblin, void sexy goblin, furry sexy goblin and sometimes other color sexy goblin

>>724709402
I sure hope so
>>724709418
>That Yordle is going to look like a snake that's eaten a melon, or a cartoon hose that someone's stood on.
Kek

>>724707646
At that point yeah
Normally id say no because the boost in confidence comes from actually getting a girl to like you enough to fuck
I lost mine with a escort at 18
I then got on with casual hookups and dating sometimes
Btw if you live in a country where its legal like i do, youll probably become a whoremonger like i did due to how easy it is (and you dont have to deal with clingy women or any of their shit, if you didnt like her youll never have to see her again), so i advise against it
But in your case, 32 and a virgin? Do it, mostly to get it out of your system

>>724709418
>>724709772
my crude artist's rendition

>>724710190
Horrifying, put her out of her misery.

>>724709080
While there are some who are in it due to not having a choice, i.e
>sex trafficking victims
>single mothers with too many bills to pay (vast majority of hookers are single moms)
Ive also seen women who got shit jobs and never whored, some girls do it because they are just like that
Hell, ive seen some that do it because theyre super sluts and theyre into it
Theres one i know who doesnt even consider herself an escort, she has a normal job, she does it because its her fetish, the money is a bonus
Fyi its a shitshow bruddah

>>724709418
>>724710190
What if they start birth by having their skulls contract back into place really fast so the baby gets launched out like a fucking rocket. Like there's just a loud THWUMP and the Yordle looks normal again and there's just a baby in a crater between her legs?

>>724707646
Sure. But please tell her beforehand that you are a virgin. It helps get do her job.

>>724707356 (OP)
With or without impregnation?

Yordle pitpubes.

>>724707570
>>724709038
i recognise the artist

>>724707646
>I'm 32 years old
Thats just 8 years away from wizard status
Why forsake the gift of arkana?

Vex rhymes with....

>>724709038
>YOU DARE CHALLENGE MEGAMIND?

>>724707356 (OP)
How much for to fill the Yordle lady with whipped cream until she reaches the size of the goodyear blimp before exploding (non-lethally)

>>724710770
Hex

>>724707646
You should have, long time ago
So you can realize its not about coitus, but about connection

I've fucked plenty
But never made love
Disregard whores

>>724710652
30 is already wizardhood.

>>724710939
Exactly, sex with someone who you just find hot but know nothing about is not as good as someone who you actually know and pine for
Mutual attraction and passion >>> some hot slut
But in his case if hes still a virgin at that age id say hes got bigger problems to deal with, so just do it to get it over with and understand its not a big deal

>>724710791
kek

What happens if they have twins or more?

>>724710472
But what if she makes fun of me?

>>724707646
Sure I guess

>>724711221
hey man whatever you're into

>>724710530
You have to pay extra if you want it without

>>724711276
thats a man

>>724707646
>>724707646
If your wizard powers didnt come in at 30 you might as well. Some incels are mudblood

the lack of lulu porn is a mystery to me, vex has way more even tho shes the newest

>>724710770
Rex

>>724711380
You can't beat goth girls.

>>724711221
Why would someone who wants to make money make fun of their client? Just don't go for a streetwalker.

>>724711221
Then don't pay her

>>724711337
yes he is driving the truck
Anderson's lock and safe
he's gonna key her lock

>>724707756
This is the sparkledog furry equivalent of designing a sex robot. Jesus christ.

>>724707646
Buy a VR headset (not Quest3S please), buy a large hip onahole or a sex doll if you afford it. Try those massage parlor VR JAVs and you will get the top of the experiences, no whore will ever top it unless you're paying the girls in the video themselves.

>>724711457
>>724711380
Lulu sucks

>>724711457
personally i think poppy is the best, bonus points for snow fawn skin

>>724711603
Recommended VR headset?

>>724711635
human cock and plenty of it

I can never get past the first minute of get your yordles off without busting

>>724707646
Just jerk off, retard. Don't give your money to some whore so you can stick it in her smelly used-up vagina for an hour.

>>724707756
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nplefywEFI

menhera lulu

Should I join my 4 buds in playing LoL or is this a fool's errand.
Yordles make me act unwise but I don't want to be a filthy secondary

>>724710770
Keks

>>724711932
Just stay a secondary.

>>724711457
Each Yordle girl has a place
>Vex for the goth girl crowd
>Trist for the spunky tomboy crowd
>Poppy for the Warrior/Farm wife crowd
>Lulu for the cheerful/preppy girl crowd
>Veigal for the Manic Pixie girl crowd
One of these days I should learn how to model figures for 3D printing like >>724708087 and sell em. I think the example is a bit tasteless, but I enjoy sexy character models.
>>724711932
It shouldn't be so bad with 4 others, lets you get a team of 5 to do stupid shit with. No harm in joining them so long as none are tryhards.

>>724711932
i play lol, it's fun desu, though most of the time people either ignore the chat so i can't interact, or they talk in unknown languages, or they just tell me to kys. so if you have friends I'd say go for it, just know that you'll be buttfucked alot as a newfag who doesn't understand all the rules

a shame that riot mmo will never happen, i wanted to play my own yordle but apparently we cant have nice things anymore

>>724707356 (OP)
Why can't little blue women be real, bros?

We autosagin'?

Anal only.

>>724712352
BAD OPINION

>>724712185
It's genuinely amazing that Riot let it slip through their fingers. Assuming the game was half decent it'd immediately be up there with the other behemoths.

>>724711956
>>724711758
someone explain what was happening in this animation?
poppy was fighting the blind guy and then falls off a cliff and then you fuck her, but who are you?

>>724711635
Dogshit taste. Big wizard hats are kino design. I bet you're a Vexfag, too.

>>724712683
>who are you?
You are you

>>724712185
what the fuck happened? last i heard it was still in the works

>>724711635
>t.bad tasting purple
>>724712719
She could also ult your dick mid orgasm to mindbreak you with pleasure

>>724712781
They had to restart completely.

>>724711695
Tough to say, Quest 3 as a bare minimum is fine, you have to go through hoops from metas controlling shit. Something like valve index is better I guess but dunno if the higher cost makes it worth it.

In the next thread we will solve who I'd the best yord

>>724713584
That's not gonna fit!

>>724707646
Look for a cosplaying escort instead.

>>724713658
Alright, now it'll fit.

>>724712683
(Me)

>>724712683
if life gives you a female yordle you fuck it

>>724713584
>those plump Vex thighs