Thread 725046826

>still no mods to let me fuck this hag.
Why?

Because it's a gay nigger game for faggots

>>725046957
you are low test.

>>725047141
this is true. they found out that men with reeeeallly high test were the gayest niggas.

>>725046826 (OP)
You were supposed to fuck her when she was younger. You snooze you lose.

>>725046826 (OP)
Bet you either arent logged into nexus mods or you don't know about LoversLab.

>>725046826 (OP)
It remains a mystery.

>>725046957
>221 hours on record

>>725046826 (OP)
I bet when she opens her legs dust flies out

>>725046826 (OP)
Unprotected sex with hags.

>>725047471
He obviously continued after installing the no alphabets mod. Being the retard he is, he thought the game was good, but his personal politics didn't let him enjoy it.

>>725047543
How about I entangle your shit?

>>725047625
>123 hours at review time
>Alphabet mod wasn't out then
New cope?

>>725046957
>intentionally chooses all the gay options in the dialogue
>complain that theres too much gay shit in the game
>over 200 hours in a game they claim to hate
If paid actors are a thing then equally real must be paid protesters and I think thats what this is.

>>725048468
>>intentionally chooses all the gay options in the dialogue
It's crazy how you people keep repeating this even though it's well known that male companions will try to fuck you regardless, especially Halsin

>>725048575
Then dont flirt with them? Simple as that.

>>725046826 (OP)
>he didn't already fuck her 100 (20) years ago
ngmi

>>725046826 (OP)
Just play Baldur's Gate 2, you fuckin uncultured zoomer

>>725048575
They either didn't play, didn't play with the characters, or are baiting. Either way there's no point giving them (you)'s.
Anyone who made it to the litetal first milestone of affection with Gale knows how just out of nowhere the gay comes into play.

>>725046957
>be me
>play DnD
>DM tells me that if I continue to flirt with the mage, things might get gay
>I continue to flirt with the mage
>DM asks me if I want to kiss the mage
>Say yes
>Suddendly I kiss the mage
WOW SHITTY DM SHOEHORNING THAT GAY SHIT INTO MY DND CAMPAIGN!

>>725048989
>Be me
>mage offers to teach me magic
>says that mystra loves fucking new mages
>hell yea
>agree
>suddenly a female motion capture acture gets hold of my self-insert character
>looks to the mage with longing
>narrator says there is anticipation of a kiss in the air
>I get 10 different variations on how to fuck the mage and one decline
>decline
>both mage AND my character look sad they didn't get gay sex
>wizard cartoonishly sobs and leaves while my character looks like he's going to cry and a tragedy has occured
>I only ever talked to this wizard ONCE before that
Fuck off

>>725048863
You probably let him show you how to summon mithra. This is a flirtatious option. Maybe don't choose the gay options if you don't want the game thinking you're a faggot.

>>725048863
>Anyone who made it to the litetal first milestone of affection with Gale knows
Wait you increased a male characters """affection""" stat and you're wondering why you're getting called out?

>>725048863
It's really funny, I heavily recommend playing with the mod that shows approval/disapproval, as it also shows which dialogue options initiate romance. With shit like pic related no wonder everyone is accidentally romancing Halsin, the game literally forces you to just by talking to him

>>725046826 (OP)
Nobody likes her

>>725046826 (OP)
They brought the voice actors back for new pronouns, but not so I can have a bed breaking sex with this hag or the goblin girls.

>>725050220
Have you ever been fucked anon?

>>725051351
Or Orin or Mol.

>>725050220
>flirted
Implies past tense btw. The English language still eludes the jeets even to this day.

>>725051741
... that's just the name of the flag, it appears like that regardless, even if you never flirted with him before (which I didn't, if I was forced into a situation like that one I would have taken another screenshot)

>>725046957
Mamdami won and you lost
seethe more MAGAt

>>725046826 (OP)
she has sex with nature itself, you simply cannot satisfy her

>>725046826 (OP)
Woke lost
You dont need to pretend to like geriatrics anymore

>>725046957
Embarrassing review

>>725052716
She looks like the lady that I used to live by that would let me come over for sex whenever I wanted.

>>725049602
Everyone´s been there. I can´t be the only one who thought how cool it was that my new best friend was going to teach me a cantrip. I got all riled up about how cool it was that they added that feature. You increase your standing with your companions and in turn, they will teach you new skills. Pretty cool feature to reward roleplaying, in a role playing game. Nope, it´s just gay sex. Went from this game is 10/10 to I will never buy a game from that developer again.

>>725046957
based

>>725047762
>5e entangle

>>725046826 (OP)
I unironically think the companions/relationship part of this game is the worst part of it.

>>725046826 (OP)
Ok so I'm not the only one then right? I wanted to blow my load in her so fucking bad. She must've been an absolute succubus in her prime.

>>725055187
Have you not played BG2?

>>725051741
The flag is applied after choosing the option you fucking retard. When the game makes a check against that flag it will tell the system you flirted with him. Imagine being so fucking stupid you call others jeets who can't understand english when you yourself don't even know how it works.

grannies look like THAT?

>>725056052
holy plapmeat

>>725055558
No, it's pretty clunky and honestly it doesn't look very good either. I mean, maybe back then it looked good, but nowadays, not so much.

>>725056708
Well, you should.

>>725046826 (OP)
I played one run of this game and killed this bitch and the entire camp because I didn’t want to show her the orb or whatever

>>725046826 (OP)
I would ride this bitch hard next the camp fire every night.

>>725046826 (OP)
>brown eyes
>>725059940
>blue eyes

worse even, imagine keeping the same haircut for over a 100 years.

>>725046826 (OP)
1. She's about 180-190 years old. That's the absolute maximum for a half-elf, and the fact she isn't dead and is such a good physical condition is a small miracle. It's also specifically said she DIDN'T do the Timeless Body ritual in order to prolong her life.
2. It's heavily implied, if you play as Dark Urge, she was CHARNAME'S love interest.

>>725061768
Her original portrait in BG1 has brown eyes.

>>725046826 (OP)
Its called Baldurs Gate 2, a significantly better game than Bald and Gay 3

>>725062449
Isn't she supposed to be less than 40 in BG1/2? iirc. Not that her age is ever explicitly stated.

>>725062697
She and Khalid have been married for 20 years when BG1 kicked in. Assuming they married young, she'd be around 40. BG3 takes place a 137 years later, so she's at minimum around 180.

Let's not even get started with Viconia, who is the oldest character in BG3, except for Elminster and the Emperor.

>>725062449
>2. It's heavily implied, if you play as Dark Urge, she was CHARNAME'S love interest.
When?

>>725046826 (OP)
Choose your words carefully, big guy. This is my wife you're talking about here.

>>725056052
made for BWC

>>725062929
When is it stated that they've been married for 20 years? I don't remember that at all.

>>725063071
You can ask her what their relationship was when playing as Durge, to which she gives an answer that amounts to "none of your business." If they weren't lovers, she would've just said as much.

Plus it explains why she even lives in Baldur's Gate in particular, despite having literally no connections to the city - she's from Tethyr.

>>725063659
Do you have a video or something? I've played the game twice as dark urge and I honestly don't remember that

>>725052038
Only if you've already chosen the fay options and are on the gay timeline.

>>725064219
Orin's personality isn't even fun. She's just a cunt.

>have to explain to jeets how white people code works just to explain why they're misconceptions of this game are skewed by politically motivated influencers
I don't feel so good, SAARs

>>725046826 (OP)
>Why?
her husband is dead and she only wants sex but the protag of bg2 already beat you to that.

>>725064863
Jaheira is ugly

>>725063128
She's not your wife, Mike. She's Greg's wife.

>>725048468
>>725048575
>>725048692
>>725048863
The devs literally admitted early on that they fucked up and Gale and Halsin were coming onto people when they shouldnt have been and changed it. Funny enough it started a big hilarious discussion about victim blaming

>>725065274
>ugly bastards gets a pretty wife episode 2183
it do be like that

Is her accent supposed to be Russian

>>725069410
One day I will get a pretty wife?

Filling Jaheira's dry half elf womb!
Getting Jaheira a tylenol and an ibuprofen after sex!
Helping Jaheira into her easy entrance safety tub to soak in the morning after blowing her hips out the night before!

>>725071832
this

>>725065274
>I draw myself as the gigachad

>>725071467
you're ugly, and technically your mom's a whore, but are you really a bastard?

>>725064863
So? I still want to romance her.

>>725075001
is that futa...?

>>725075001
areola too brown
>but pregnancy causes mela-
still too brown

>>725056052
>bro i smoked your gf
>>what?
>yeah 16 hours in the smoker, enjoy you're dried meat

>>725075109
Actually trans (lore)

>schizo op thinks he has a friend
posting this because it's me, your friend

>>725062929
>She and Khalid have been married for 20 years when BG1 kicked in. Assuming they married young, she'd be around 40.
Per her own backstory in BG1 she was a small child when Alemander was overthrown in Tethyr, she was in her mid 20s at most in BG1.

>>725046826 (OP)
This, she is my queen and I must serve her needs in her advanced age.

>>725076160
not pretty enough to be that demanding

>>725076160
off-model SLOP

>>725076326
You weren't invited anyways lol.

>>725063659
Viconia has a weapon on her that you only get if you pursue her romance path in BG2. The handmaidens mace.

>>725062929
>Let's not even get started with Viconia, who is the oldest character in BG3

Raphael states he watched the fall of Netheril, which occured over 1700 years prior to BG3.

>>725075678
2 years later and you're still seething.

>>725077073
She's also very much dead if you romance her in BG2 and Charname canonically did not ascend

>>725077443
yep it's me, the friend you call schizo. you yourself are totally not a schizo. or a wumaoposter shilling for china

>>725077484
I simply choose to ignore WOTC dogshit canon and headcanon an evil ascension Charname to explain Bhaal's return and the existence of the Dark Urge in a non-retarded way

>everyone will see how straight I am when I cry about all the gay shit I selected on purpose
Every time.

>>725077719
The only acceptable bitching is Halsin because he comes onto you regardless of what you do, even if you already have already chosen someone else.

>>725077719
>close your eyes and it'll go away
who are you trying to kid

>>725077837
This Halsin is a fag and it's best to kill him or not invite him into the party.

>>725077719
>get proven wrong, repeatedly
>he still doubles down and insists on using the same meme argument
Wish I was this shameless

>>725046826 (OP)
I still think they shouldn't have her as a romance unless you're playing durge. Would it make sense? No. Would I laugh? Yes

>>725078664
>there's only one guy on the internet and I speak with him all the time
>>725077859
They could not have communicated that any clearer short of screaming gay sex?! at you.

>>725056052
Young men only

>>725078809
No, that's the worst part, it's multiple people doing the same thing

>>725078679
Nobody cares what you think, it's asking for a mod that you don't have to install, turbofaggot

>>725047625
>after installing the no alphabets mod
this, fem astarion, and realms restored make the game 10x better

>>725048692
i didnt pick any flirty options and still got hit on by gale, wyll and halsin as a dude
they later increased the threshold for these interactions, but im pretty sure i dont know what flirting is

>>725078892
>not even a hivemind
No wonder reddit laughs at us.

>>725078935
Yes they do, it's why they asked me what I thought about Jaheira and even went so far as to make a thread when they knew I was looking so I could grace them with my opinion

>>725078971
>be agreeable
>gay sex
>talk to them like you would a bro
>they are insulted and start to hate you and leave the party.
This is leftism in a nutshell

>>725046826 (OP)
>chud sees a strong powerful woman and wants to rape her.

>>725079340
noone left my party, seems like a skill issue on your end

>>725080183
>all sex is rape

>>725076160
Built for big black cock

>>725080473
She's completely right, just as all debt-based labor is slavery.
>inb5 just buy a car!
Give me reasonable public transportation to my job and I wouldn't have to.
>just move closer to the city!
I need 3x the rent to qualify for rent

>>725080380
Play on a harder difficulty than story mode.

>>725080549
Wait a minute, I know this pokemon.

>>725076160
No pussy looks like that after 16.

>>725081274
Are you saying she doesn't look 16? Bigot.

>>725061768
>imagine keeping the same haircut for over a 100 years
You have to change your hair because...?

>>725046826 (OP)
I haven't played BG3 but I guess they changed the lore? Elves are supposed to remain youthful looking until they're pretty much at the end of their life. (Although magic can also make them look like ass)

>>725085195
She is a half-elf. They don't follow the same rules as regular elves

>>725085195
To answer your question, as someone who *also* hasn't played BG3, let me tell you that Minsc and Boo are somehow still alive and around.

>>725085321
>Minsc and Boo are somehow still alive and around.
They were turned to stone and then released

>try to play game again after dropping it
>skip the emerald grove or whatever because i looked at it last time
>walk around
>find basically nothing worthwhile except a guy singing in a cage
>recruit him, cant even have him as a party member
>keep on walking around
>some old bitch stole a girl
>talk to her
>get put in a battle against 4 things that one shot me while I do like 1/5th of their hp
am I missing something? how come whenever i saw gameplay of this game people were like in big cities talking to people

>tfw just having fun being a displacer via giant barb with telekinesis gloves using giant strength elixir
Fuckers better hope they weigh as much as a golem because I'm punting and cracking skulls into each other in the Thunderdome and keeping bitches knocked down. If I can't reach someone I just try to Telekinesis them somewhere high or right into the party's blender damage character. If they're a munchkin I chuck them onto the highest point I can, jump up to follow, then throw them back down.

>>725046826 (OP)
She cucked her husband already with Charname now you want her to cuck Charname with Tav?

>>725081274
I had a gf that was 28 and had one like this. It's genetics and most girls don't have pretty pussies. Most girls have fat labias, it isn't from sex.

>>725085798
City is the third chapter and most people quit and restart mid second (which is the most antifun one aside from shards side quest area)

The witch area is like post clearing goblin camp unless you know what you are doing.

>>725046826 (OP)
Yeah, I know man, what the FUCK.
I got balls that vibrate.

>>725086667
No shade but porn has fucked up your mind or you're gay.

>>725081274
It's that half-elven DNA, they just last longer.
I couldn't survive in that universe, beguiled by elf pussy? No wonder Aragorn never stood a chance even though Éowyn, the niece of King Théoden was 1000x superior for his species, in his era.

>>725086930
Bro i love eating pussy, getting smothered by it whatever. But i've only seen the nice tight looking skin folds on a couple chicks, one of them being on the biggest whore to ever exist. (not the previous mentioned gf)

>>725087275
That is my point. Your criteria for pretty is basically pornstars (who can get it trimmed) or the very, very few 'neat' pussies out there. I'm just saying that you probably wouldn't be so critical if you didn't have porn blasted into your brain since you were a teenager. It fucks you up.