Thread 725447860

>exploring the ruins of some lost, ancient civilization or deep into a dungeon or crypt that hasn’t been visited for centuries maybe even thousands of years
>all the traps still work and the torches are lit

>>725447860 (OP)
>looting currency still used by the civilization today

>>725447860 (OP)
Because its a video game?

>18+ game
>no option to have sex
why?

>>725447860 (OP)
>>all the traps still work
Why wouldn't they? Mechanical things aren't capable of breaking down

>>725447860 (OP)
>they were lit by the people who raided the crypt before you shortly before dying in a trap

>>725447986
What's wrong about that? Some empires in history have lasted for 1000+ years.

>>725450002
rarely does roman currency go today for the same amount it was worth back then.

At that point it isn't money. It's a collectable.

>>725449741
>t. your local car dealership

Secret of Evermore was a garbage Secret of Mana BUT it having 4 different currencies was kino

>>725447860 (OP)
Made for Big Goofy Cock
>>725447986
Made for Big Rabbit Cock

>>725450324
>not pete

>>725450106
What's that got to do with anything? We're talking more about someone in the late Roman empire finding a stash of Roman coins minted 500 years before or something like that, they might still be in circulation and even if they don't the coins were made of precious metals (like the coins in basically every fantasy game with ancient dungeons full of loot) so they had intrinsic value even if they were no longer in circulation.

>>725450358
Pete is too busy being a powercuck

>>725447860 (OP)
Mfw someone posts Roxanne on /v/

>>725447986
POMNI POMNI POMNI POMNI POMNI

>character reveals they inadvertently funneled into ancient ruins
>head through the tunnel intona cave system that leads to the ruins
>ruins are a modern technological facility with robots and florescent lighting

>>725452735
>>725447860 (OP)
I love her huge dog nose

>>725447860 (OP)
>be ancient warrior and embark on a perilous journey
>did you remember to put the torches out?
>mfw

why did they make this thing so sexy

>>725453060
Turns out the ancient cicivalization was more technologically advanced than modern day society, but died off for some reason. Kino.

>>725447860 (OP)
>>725449282
>Because its a video game?
Not even a trope specific to video games. Look at movies like Indiana Jones or even older media that inspired all the Indiana Jones booby traps.

Honestly what's worse is games like Fallout where you're searching like an old elementary school building and a random child's locker will have like plasma rifle ammo compatible with your weapons or something. Older games can be even more nonsensical like Castlevania where you whip a random part of a spooky building and a fully cooked turkey ready to eat pops out.

>>725450485
Curious how the people complaining about money in fantasy games being too generic and abstract never ask for historically accurate non-decimal transnational coinage with both nominal and intrinsic value.

>>725452735
>>725455387
>>725455976

Peg mogs Roxanne faggots.

>>725456982
>play game
>character in game mentions how the door we’re opening hasn’t been opened for a thousand years
>find a clay pot I can loot
>find two 9mm clips for my glock pistol

>>725457245
That's not even remotely close to being true, but to show I bear no ill will towards my lesser brethren I will share this recent Roxanne.

>"fantasy" game
>every character speaks in languages known in the real world

>>725457563
>recent Roxanne
recent Peg*
derp

Mog pegs Roxanne faggots.

>>725447860 (OP)
roxanne sex

>>725457458
Okay, fuck you then, go through the whole dungeon without any ammo.

>>725455387
>>725455976
absolute sex

>>725457830
best

>>725455387
They didn't have to make her that cute. But they did....

>>725457797
Yes. That’s exactly what I want. Make me figure out how to traverse this supernatural area with all I have and decide at which points I should use them.

more roxanne

I prefer Lisa.

>>725458138
too slutty

>>725458240
what's the point of going in dungeons then

>>725458769
I want to go in her dungeon if you know what I mean

>>725458983
In English, Doc.

was she really only in one movie

>>725460870
Yep. Anymore than that and life would implode.

>>725461006
man what a lost opportunity

>>725447860 (OP)
>lost temple of dick nips
>20 feet from the town gate

>>725447860 (OP)
>It's full of supplies and ammunition crates for all your modern technology and weapons

>>725447860 (OP)
>Been playing Assassin's Creed Shadows for the past month.
>Every kofun (Basically a mix of a crypt and a cave) has lit candles and oil lamps strewn throughout the entirety of it despite only one of them even being occupied, and several of them literally being Assassin bases.
>Go to the DLC.
>The locked door that a character hasn't been to in years that the antagonists didn't know where it even was and clearly haven't accessed it has working candles and paper lanterns.

>>725450229
what the fuck is this man made horror beyond human comprehension

>>725461573
it's a car mechanic's version of a biblically accurate angel

DO NOT BE AFRAID

>>725457458
>clip
>glock

>>725456901
>>725457830
>>725458138
I can hear the horny in these girls. how the hell doesn't Max notice it?

>>725461789
Yeah, these modern game deva are lazy as fuck.

>>725461953
he does though, both are clearly interested in eachother but both are too shy to really express it

>>725450358
Too busy fucking Max and PJ

>>725461710
Name ONE game that does this you disingenuous little SHIT.

torches being lit is gay
waiting for the game where all the light runs out in the dungeon and you literally die cuz you get stuck

>>725457974
Okay, but you have to do so in pitch blackness because the torches don't work. And you can't use the doors because they all rusted shut. And you can't get the MacGuffin at the end of the dungeon because the mechanisms to reveal it haven't worked in thousands of years. And if you touch any of the spikes in the spike traps your character will immediately die of tetanus. And there are no enemies to fight because they all died thousands of years ago. And all of the treasure you find will be worth about five bucks of scrap metal so you don't even have that. Happy now?

>>725462545
Idiot or liar. Not sure.

>>725462130
with those lip bites that shyness is going to turn into rape soon enough.

>>725447986
I mean if its a gold coin its a gold coin

>>725462965
consensual mating press

>>725462890
Ohh, I didn’t realize that the character I’m playing that has a lifetime of going into crypts and ancient caves forgets his life experiences and just runs in with nothing in hand and unprepared like a fucking moron. They’ve been making games wrong since the beginning!!

>>725463172
You know what? Fuck it. It's not realistic for some random peasant pig farmer from some bumfuck farming village to become a badass adventurer so the game ends with your character dying five minutes after leaving his hometown, and the rest of the game is just you staring at your character's corpse as it decays in realtime. Is that realistic enough for you now?

>>725463389
Does it feel nice to go full retard just so you can feel like you’ve won an anonymous image board?

>final boss in a dungeon that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years
>their equipped with an AGM-158C LRASM stealth cruise missiles capable of delivering a thousand pounds of high explosive ordinance 926 kilometres away

>>725462924
What's got you so upset, anon?

>>725464617
Your blatant idiocy probably

>>725447860 (OP)
Because there's someone maintaining it of course retard.

>>725463541
You want games to be as realistic as possible, don't you?

>>725464878
Ohh really? When did I write that? Quote it for me.

>>725464158
SMG4 content wasn't the same after this

>>725464965
This whole thread is about complaining that games aren't realistic enough.

>>725465075
No, this whole thread is making fun of necessary game tropes to laugh at and write even more ridiculous ‘examples’ of such tropes. But here you are, acting like an idiot and going full retard because of our fun. So does it feel nice doing so? And yes, I still stand by my comment earlier that it would be a whole lot more fun, for me, to be a Tomb Raider or Crypt Hunter and enter a supernatural*already unrealistic* tomb with whatever I have on hand and have to think my way in, get to the golden statue of Amun-Ra, and out.

>>725464702
It's okay anon, walk away from the screen, take a deep breath, and come back five minutes later. It's not healthy to live like this.

>boss enters phase 2 after widdling his health down slowly and avoiding his badly telegraphed hits from his large fire axe
>reveals his m1a1 flamethrower and melts my entire team from 28 meters away with liquid napalm
>"Haha... Toasty..."

>>725447860 (OP)
They were just better engineers.

>>725465621
Nope, not reading that, lol.

>>725447860 (OP)
wasn't this true of egyptian burial grounds? Shit just lasted sometimes

>>725465336
Yeah, and I'm pointing out how fucking boring games would be without those tropes, so it's obvious to me that you wouldn't be satisfied whether or not they're there, and you're really just making noise so people will look at you.

>>725447860 (OP)
>all the traps still work

>>725447860 (OP)
FLY'D

>>725466443
>None of the traps still work

>>725465661
Need more movies with this unbroken first person perspective gimmick.

>>725455387
>>725457830
sexo.

Whatever happened to Roxanne after A Goofy Movie and that one appearance in The House of Mouse?

>>725458138
The patrician's choice

>>725456461
>random child's locker will have like plasma rifle ammo compatible with your weapons
Why wouldnt it? Fallout tech is all pre war, isnt it? Sure it probably shouldnt be in a childs locker, but they did have plasma rifles prewar IIRC.

>>725465929
it's believed that emperor Qin's tomb has traps. one of the reasons why it hasn't been opened yet

>>725465743
Concession acknowledged and accepted.

>>725465661
Hardcore Henry is SUCH a fucking good film.

>>725467156
Never appeared again. The last time Max even shows up in any form of canon related to Goof Troop hes still in college and has a new girlfriend. I guess that works out for waifufags to imagine shes still single.

>>725467391
Could also have been a raider leaving it there as a stash "who the fuck would look here?" Kind of thing

>Enter ancient, decrepit catacombs that haven't seen the light of day since construction
>Air is perfectly breathable and clean

ROXANNE
YOU DON'T HAVE TO PUT ON THE RED LIGHT
THOSE DAYS ARE OVER
YOU DON'T HAVE TO SELL YOUR BODY TO THE NIGHT

>>725468523
>pools of crystal clear water everywere

>>725461573
German Engineering

What breed is her?

>>725456901
>biting her lip when the goofy teeth come out
She had it bad for him as early as 10 minutes into the movie, damn

>find isolated civilization that hasn't been seen or communicated with from the outside world for many years
>they all speak perfect english

>>725467859
I recall she shows up in House of Mouse for an ep. But I guess that's not canon.

>>725470193
>find isolated civilization that hasn't been seen or communicated with from the outside world for many years
>they all speak perfect proto-indo-european

>>725449741
>entropy doesn't exist

>>725450358
Too busy shoving a white dude up his ass.

>>725470778
I guess its canon if you just say all the other Disney characters come from their own respective worlds and universes into Mickeys nightclub. I guess its even weirder if you factor in stuff like Kingdom Hearts into that so you now have maybe over 20+ shows and 40+ movies and various shorts that are all interconnected.

>random lowlife bandits in fuckass cave #44 have access to literal ancient weapons and armor because level scaling
Particularly noticeable in Oblivion.

>>725461564
I miss when Assassin's Creed tried to be authentic to history with a clear delineation between the historical and the Isu-Templar-Assassin high sci-fi shit.

>>725447860 (OP)
Made in America used to mean something.

>>725462970
Anon can't imagine a non-fiat currency, the conditioning runs that deep

>>725447860 (OP)
Imagine how hot Roxanne’s mom must be if she looks like that while also having half of her ogre father’s genes

>>725475485
>marry roxanne
>your mutant half dog abomination babies will have a chance of being absolute units
I fail to see a problem.