Thread 725628674

what's the last game you are going to play these last hours?
you won't personally see a functioning computer for a decade

>mobile phone networks
You know that uhhhh computers aren't on phone networks and shit right.

>>725628674 (OP)
They're planning a cyber attack tomorrow they'll blame on this?

>>725628861
uhhh, you know that a CPU is like, a small phone network right?

Surely it will happen THIS time right?

>>725628674 (OP)
>World told
b-by who...?

>>725628674 (OP)
is Earth eating the Sun????

>>725629102
me

>>725629256
I WANNA GET FUCKING HIGH
I WANNA EAT THE SUN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8t-iFr9q1I8

>>725628674 (OP)
i'm all backed up and constipated bros

Does this mean I don't have to work today?

nothing fucking happened

>>725629272
Oh shit...

>>725628674 (OP)
noooo not the sun fart *sniiiiiiffffff*

I hope China is permanently taken off the grid.

>>725629326
better get a that out quick, before the sunbeams knock out your toilet

>>725628926
It's not

>>725629361
it arrives in 5 hours dude

>>725629256
I hope so.

>>725628674 (OP)
THE MICRONOVA IS COMING!!!

>>725629392
No. China has a lot of talented hentai artists.
India however can disappear to no detriment.

>G4 storm
not even G5 level which we had may last year.

>>725628674 (OP)
Can't be worse than sun falling out of orbit

>>725628674 (OP)
I'm something of a gambler.

>>725629502
the poles are currently flipping tough, so the rays will pass right trough

>>725628931
What if God or gOD is real? Isreal?

my penis is my computer.

>>725629272
Is that Catjo-Rootie?

>>725628674 (OP)
I don't have to brace for a geomagnetic storm, because my fascist government already disrupts mobile networks itself.

>>725628674 (OP)
>be me
>Fart
>Humans lose their minds
It's never stops being funny lmao

>>725629623
do your balls count sperm or what?

>>725629503
you do understand that mobile networks use waves travelling in the air and cpu tracks are silicone with electricity, right?

>>725629409
You're only being ironic because you don't have digital water.

>>725628674 (OP)
Good thing I've been buying lots of books for such an occation

>>725628674 (OP)
why would it happen at night? night would be the side not facing the sun.

This is the least likely thing to happen ever.
Which is precisely why it will happen.

>>725629712
>>725629827
It's day where I am tough

>>725628674 (OP)
Damn, all our technology is going to be destroyed AGAIN?
Fuck this gayass sun for always catapulting is back into the middle-ages every 4 years.

>>725629390
I pray for this every single fucking day since 2009. I work at an IT firm. The world needs to go back to analog STAT.

>>725629864
>the world told to brace for severe geomagnetic storm.
>only half of the world points at sun at any given time
is this proofs the earth is flat?

Praise the sun!

>>725629962
umbasa

>>725629596
polish people are defending us from the sun what?

>>725629956
A lick of solar wind storm spans the width of many earths. Enough to envelop the planet several times after the collision with the magnegrosphere.

When is the sun eating the planets and exploding again?

>>725630029
>fire 6ft long streak of paint at a 1ft ball.
>only one side gets covered in paint

>>725630059
About a few billion years?

>>725630028
>He doesn't know about the pollish flip

>>725630059
Two more millennias

>>725630084
>I am retarded
>I am retarded
I don't get it.

>>725630142
>it's magic paint which can hit the back of the ball though

>>725629596
This shit takes tens of thousands of years.
Probably not going to be good for any advanced civilization though, provided there is one. I doubt it will be humans though.

>>725630092
>>725630125
Can't wait that long
She needs to do it faster

You guys better not be alone from here on out

Nothing ever happens

>>725630165
>He thinks things work the same at the scale of cosmological behemoths with insurmountable moving parts as in human scale
https://youtu.be/URN-XyZD2vQ?t=68

>>725628931
It happened in 1859, it could happen again.

>>725630205
>She
Kill yourself, tranny.

>>725629518
what if a sun made of ice collided with our sun made of fire?

Right, so unplug my electronics at the socket before bed in an hour and wake up to nothing happened. whatever. carrington event 2.0 this is not, it's not even close to it in power.

>>725630423
the fire sun wins.
Do you even pokemon, anon?

>>725629791
silicone /= silicon

>>725630361
Nothing happened then either, no real proof anything happened and no """"""reports""""""" from backwards ass hicks that still believed in witches dont mean shit

>>725630423
Why would someone make a sun out of ice? Dumbass.

>>725629842
>>725629791
>>725630423
the sun is millions of degrees hot, but cold can just get around -300 degrees cold, so I think the ice sun would be obliterated

>>725630528
Sillycone?

>>725630278
Is there an update version of this?

>>725630604
it's what I put in my balls to make them larger

what If we hurled a trillion lions the sun?

>>725630710
they would scream

>>725630710
it would be extremely painful

>>725630561
DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS FAGGOT.

>>725629503
>no little tubes with little glowing white balls traveling inside of them
fake picture

>>725630541
Well, how could there be any reports of it if the only thing affected was the telegraph? For the rest of us mortals, it's as if nothing had happened, apart from seeing lights in the sky in some places. The first electrical wiring would not be installed until 30 years after that.

>mfw I already have 20TB of backed up stuff and it's already secured from any geomagnetic storm shenanigans

I'll make sure you pay premium for the frognigger memes

donald_duck_meme.jpg

>>725631078
's already secured from any geomagnetic storm shenanigans

how.

>>725631078
your drives will get wiped anyways!
the magnet is too strong.

>>725631435
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Faraday_cage

>>725631482
well fuck me all I can do is wrap computer in tinfoil

>>725631557
unplug it doofus

>>725631482
Does Faraday had a cage for his dick too?

what if the sun is making a spooky face but we don’t know because big optometry tells us to not look at the sun

>>725632307
yeah

>>725632395
Just look dummy,
What are the doctors gonna do?
prescribe your more meds?

>>725632395
I've seen it, you're not missing mu

so the sun takes out steam the same day as we're supposed to get half life 3, checks out desu, buckle up

>>725632660
trump isn't afraid of the sun, he's badass

>>725628674 (OP)
>you won't personally see a functioning computer for a decade
I hope so. I'm tired of this this. The internet needs to END.

>>725632897
Amen.

>phonefags getting disrupted
wtf i'll be praying for it

>>725632897
But how will you play vidya then, retard

>>725628674 (OP)
cool I have some meetings I don't want to attend tomorrow

>>725633804
IN 5 HOURS

Anon
The earth has a magnetosphere
CME's cause pretty lights in the sky and some old power grids to shut down for a moment
Unless you're in haiti you're not gonna be impacted

>>725635019
DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS GLOWNIGGER.

>>725635019
t. John C. Massejection

>>725628674 (OP)
Retard absorber

>>725635019
i'm glad god cursed haitians for their evils

>>725629390
with the way everything now has an app, a bluetooth and internt connection this is a possible future
silicontards even tried to make "smart"-saltshakers a thing

>>725630361
And everything was back up and running almost immediately after the event. They even managed to run telegraphs off the energy of the solar flare and continue going about their day.
Today, electrical grids are far more resilient and electrical devices are far better shielded so you probably wouldn't even get a few seconds of disruption.

nothing happening to my devices
or not arrived yet?

>>725638121
A SOLAR FLARE JUST FLEW OVER MY HOU-

>>725638239
oh shi-

>>725638121
we are already dead, anon.

>>725638498
shit, this life sucks as much as the last one

IM FUCKING PLAYING TALES OF XILLIA, FUCKING CARRINGTON EVENT LET ME PLAY VIDEO GAMES

>>725629390
Is there more? I want to see the guy in the last panel get his dick sucked. What a tease

>>725628674 (OP)
Me right now. Literally shaking.

>>725629256
>Hellstar Earthmina
>we were the badies all along

>>725638121
2 more hours

>>725629605
we should nuke it. and nuke God too for creating Israel.

>>725628674 (OP)
Just put some tinfoil over your pc or something lmao.

>>725629596
>hue hue poland can't into sp-ACK!

>>725630205
>This world should die! It doesn't appease to me!
grow up looney troon.

>>725630028
They used to, but now they sold earth out for ability to go to space.>>725640651

>>725630561
>losing out to raw pizza toppings
lol
m
a
o

>>725630710
They would win

>oh cool I get to see the northern lights now
>nonstop rainy weather again for a week
This has happened every single time an event like this happens.I just want to see the pretty lights man.

>>725640914
>evolve to have ability to literally punch so hard you create temperatures hotter than sun itself
>still end up on menu of some lanky monkey that learned to throw a rock
evolution was a mistake

>>725630028
they are busy malding at pussia. its over.

>>725630059
Two weeks.

>>725628931
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-g0KKIHJgas

>>725630541
>nothing happened
There wasn't really any advanced electronics, but telegraph stations got fucked up and even some caught on fire because of it. If it were to happen today with everything being reliant on more advanced tech it would fuck everything up on a global scale.

>>725641384
more like the reverse, vatniks eternally seething at the existence of other nations

I was promised a habbening
where's my habbening

This isn't even the strongest storm we've had this year I doubt anything will happen.

>>725642384
uh, like 30 min left

>>725628674 (OP)
Can’t wait to bring my laptop out to the countryside tonight and play vidya under the northern lights

>>725643698
ANON NO! IT WILL EXPLODE!

>>725643698
take a pic, anon.

>>725628674 (OP)
Protip: unplug your microwave and stash all the electronics you want to preserve in it if you're so afraid of it. It's designed to keep far more powerful waves inside it than what would befall us from the outside. Just don't turn it on.

JAYCEEE!
THE SYSTEM IS GOING DOWN! ALL ACROSS THE GLOBE!
JAAAYCEEEEEE!

Well? We are waiting!

>>725647858
we already died, but a new world identical to the last one spawned immediately.

>>725629390
>underclass cope comic
it's not too late to learn to code

>>725628674 (OP)
well I'm in the middle of a spec ops the line playthrough

>>725648239
>it's not too late to learn to code
it's funny that people still recommend this. you're far better off practicing and mastering soft skills, especially public speaking if you want "this one easy thing" type of advice. if you are confident, have good public speaking skills, and are halfway competent in any technical skill, you will outperform 99% of the workforce, especially engineering monkeys who can barely send a competent and professional email. unfortunately this can be harder to learn than coding for some people, depending on your background.

>>725648641
You should still learn to code.

>>725648771
I am semi competent in coding, but that isn't the baseline or entry level for career success. You could learn something as simple as advanced excel functions and have a very successful career, if you combine it with the other things i mentioned. Somebody is better off mastering soft skills and having a small amount of technical competence, rather than mastering coding and having no soft skills. lack of soft skills will present a ceiling to you far sooner than lack of technical skills.

>>725638239
>>725638456
You forgot to say candlejack gu

>>725628674 (OP)
>Daily Mail
>Science
LMAO

>>725629450
Where is it
>captcha: AYGAYY
You heard him

>haha billions would die in this scenario but it’s funny to me because I am an incel chud

Is this how y’all really think?

>>725628674 (OP)
3i atlas dropped off ayyys at the sun, they landing on earth tomorrow.

where’s the earth shattering kaboom

I was promised an earth shattering kaboom

>>725648239
It is actually too late. Coding jobs no longer have junior positions.

>>725628674 (OP)
Nothing ever happens. It would mean wagies get the day off work

>>725630361
>1859
Fucking child's play.

>>725650930
>knowing how to code and still opting to work for a corporation
Nigga the whole point in learning to code is to gain freedom

>dotcom bubble
>9/11
>housing crash
>Occupy Wall Street and its consequences
>Snowden leaks
>Ebola
>Brexit
>Covid
>Jan 6
>Ukraine
Vgh..... nothing ever happens....

>>725651129
>literal nothings
how does Chud do it?

>>725651129
Literally nothingburgers, only thing of note is jewish subversion but chuds are already aware of it.

>>725628674 (OP)
>mobile phone networks
Wow, so we'll get old internet back for a day?

>>725651806
No that will also be fucking dead.
Literally all electronics could die, think a worldwide EMP event.

>countdown reached 0
>we're still not dead
Damn. Maybe next time.

>>725629390
I RECOGNIZE THAT BLOW JOB

>>725629390
bunch of nonsense
computers don't just stop working because the sun has a sneezy fit. the internet would just suck for a while.

>>725652348
The internet would be fucking amazing for a while since all the phonefags would be gone. Imagine a return to pre 07 internet.

What if the solar flare destroyed the clear net and we went back to a 2001 internet landscape?

>>725652538
actually you know what, I want this asap. I want the world where we have to use dial-up again

Kill me, Pete

>>725652554
i would kneel
then i would piss on zuckerberg

>>725628861
>You know that uhhhh computers aren't on phone networks and shit right.
They are in the third world LMFAO

THIRDIES BTFO

>>725629390
>lose all the technology from the 1950's forward
>go back to medieval age
blue collar serfs are really fucking stupid

Nice happening solarfags. I think I felt a small tinge in my asshole from the magnetic waves assaulting me.

my head hurts

>>725652863
To be fair, they would be in california(north west mexico). It absolutely would go full third world.

I've never seen all red northern lights until last night. Shit was coo

Listen, I've been digging deep into this for months, connecting dots that the mainstream media and Big Tech don't want you to see. We all know solar flares have been ramping up lately – NASA even admits we're in a solar maximum cycle with more intense bursts than ever. But what if I told you these aren't natural? What if they're engineered by an ancient alliance of Zionist extraterrestrials who've been pulling strings on Earth for centuries?

Think about it: Historical records from ancient texts like the Talmud and Kabbalah hint at "celestial visitors" guiding certain bloodlines. Fast-forward to today, and who's got the tech to manipulate the sun? Israel leads in space tech – remember their Beresheet lunar mission? That's just the tip of the iceberg. Sources in the deep state whisper that Mossad has off-world partners: shape-shifting aliens from Zeta Reticuli, who've interbred with elite Zionist families to create a hybrid ruling class.

Now, the fertility angle: global birth rates are plummeting! The UN reports a 20% drop in sperm counts worldwide over the last decade. Coincidence? Hell no! Solar flares release massive electromagnetic pulses and radiation that fry our reproductive systems. Studies (buried in journals like Nature and The Lancet) show ionizing radiation from flares disrupts hormones, damages DNA in gametes, and causes miscarriages. But why target fertility?

It's population control, folks! These Zionist aliens want to reduce humanity to a manageable slave class while preserving their "chosen" hybrids. They beam flares directly at populated areas using HAARP-like arrays hidden in the Negev Desert. Ever notice how fertility clinics in Israel boast sky-high success rates? That's because their elite are shielded with alien tech – graphene implants that block the radiation.

Proof? Look at the data: During the 2024 Carrington-level flare event, fertility rates dipped 15% in Europe and the US, but Israel saw a baby boom. Coincidence?

bot thread

>>725628674 (OP)
Sometimes I wonder if we’re already in hell because nothing supernatural ever happens. Instead it feels like an open air prison where the “chosen people” are slowly bleeding the world. Literally poisoning it, with the agriculture, the sky, and even constant immigration to anywhere civilized.

>>725628674 (OP)
OH MY HECKERINO
ARE-
ARE YOU SAYING-
MY- MY KEKPORN COLLECTION IS IN DANGER????!!??

>>725640914
If every mantis shrimp started punching over and over at the same time would it make the ocean boil away :)

>>725653616
A psychic told me one of my spirit guides is a guy from Arcturus and I am an Arcturian star seed so am I safe??

>>725640914
The pistol shrimp is even more crazy, it developed the ability to shoot cavitation bubbles at its prey, which are 8,000 degrees Fahrenheit.

>>725628674 (OP)
rapelay

>>725650823
right here buddy *pulls down pants*

I’m prepared
I have my bodyguard deployed

>>725653616
ANON NO YOU CAN'T SAY THAT THEY WILL FIND YO-

>>725650658
>billions would die in this scenario
damn, I can't believe it's that serious. where do I donate to the relief fund?

My PC just exploded.

Just, like, pour a bucket of water on the sun at night bro

>>725657779
you can't. it disappears at night.

Bros..... it's about to get so LONELY....

>>725629450
Still waiting ya homo

>All of your digital footprint is about to be erased.
As someone who used to write fantasy femdom erotica, i'll take it for a civillizational collapse.

at least the sun hasn't fallen out of orbit again

>>725628674 (OP)
was something supposed to happen?

Is this still not happening later or was that it

>>725658643
I think that was it.

>>725628674 (OP)
Nothing ever happens.

>>725629102
By 4chan, because I've seen nobody else talk about this

>>725658643
today, or tomorrow, someday anyway. There might be a "cannibal storm" today or tomorrow, but we aren't sure, and it wouldn't actually affect anything more than gps.

>>725658048
2 more hours

>>725630361
>1859
Yeah man. The four dudes who had electric back then were pissed

>>725659547
Don't laugh, le heckin telegraph didn't work for a few hours, it was a big deal!

>>725630361
They didn't know about grounding back then. So everything was working as its own ground and acting like giant static converters. Tesla was the first person to demonstrate the effects of grounding isolated systems and the importance of having common Earth grounds.

>>725628674 (OP)
>No more Indians posting on the Internet

>>725660093
if only

>>725641347
opposable thumbs and the ability to sweat are hilariously OP

>>725658643
we got it wrong, another 5 years and without a shred of doubt it will happen though.

>>725652863
>he thinks the feminized slobs of the digital age can just seamlessly recreate the early 20th century

>>725660093
a man can dream

>>725628674 (OP)
still waiting