Thread 725726225

Zoomers aren't gonna buy a Steam Machi—

-ne

>>725726225 (OP)
make a steam machine that looks like a lament configuration and im sold.

the cake is a lie

>>725726545
The box....you opened it...we came.

It's funny because I'm turning into Doug Rattmann haha! I'm going crazy!

So let me get this straight, Valve hyped new announcements, and what they have is a shitty pre-built in a bulky mini PC box, and a shittier VR headset that's just a direct clone of the quest 3?

Where are the video games?

>>725726659
>where are the video games
they need to announce video games to sell their mini PC. Trust the plan.

>>725726659
>Where are the video games?
Valve is a hardware company now.

>>725726225 (OP)
What's the point of it instead of buying regular PC?

>>725726225 (OP)
So santas #1 helper is a companion cube confirmed!

>>725726225 (OP)
>14 years since Portal 2
>Valve is still milking it

>>725726225 (OP)
can i brain someone in the head with this

>>725726659
aren't you entertained enough by DEIlock already?

>>725726225 (OP)
Gimmie one that looks like this then we will talk

>>725726659
>Where are the games
You mean the literal HUNDREDS you're pretending don't exist because it's inconvenient for you?

What else can you customise your gabecube to? What other cube-related valve things exist?

>>725726792
God, I forgot about that entirely. Is it even out yet?

>>725726854
Valve used to be a gaming company. Steam was sold to consumers with HL2, where are the games to sell their new garbage products?

If they had anything in the works, especially for VR, they would've shown it.

>>725726854
The NEW games

>>725726896
>God, I forgot about that entirely. Is it even out yet?
No they have yet to totally finish its roster, art style and the casual mode they promised.
It is on the future releases page on Valves developer page on Steam though.

>>725726861
they'll sell an orange one called the Orange Box Edition.

>>725726659
>wanting more Dota Underlords, Deadlock and Artifact from Valve
They should stick to Steam and hardware at this point. The Valve you remember has already dispersed. The new crew just kept the name. They'll never make bangers like TF2 or HL2. It's just a bunch of Dota addicts faffing around and one half-dead guy chained in the basement building HL Alyx 2.

I might buy a turret themed one. I like turrets.

>>725726809
Only if it keeps trying to drag itself off your desk in an attempt to end its miserable life

>>725726545
I'm sure there will be loads of decals available once this thing is released. You could even change the the boot up screen to say, "We have such sights to show you..."

>>725727060
TSMT

>>725726225 (OP)
That's cool. Why are you pretending it isn't?

>>725726792
>DEIlock
Bet you felt smart saying that, huh, anon? Maybe repost this on reddit so you can get your precious updoots.

>>725727060
I don't give a shit if they only make garbage. All I want them to do is make fucking games, because they're a fucking gaming company.

Gaben making billions of dollars and then turning around and using that money to buy yachts and knives is fucking gay as shit. The only thing I want out of Valve is video games.

>>725727424
deadgamelockers already in shambles

>>725727481
They can't make good games anymore.

>>725726225 (OP)
being a consoomer is ok when valve does it

>>725726225 (OP)
The sales from this alone makes the whole project worthwhile.

>>725727337
>Oh my Fauci! This Goycube comes with wrapping that references a 14 year old game! Must buy!

is not it hilarious how same people that made fun of reddit manchildren are now manchildren themselves when their favorite corporation tries to sell shitty product with epic gamer reference on top

>>725726659
I don't even think the team that made HL:Alyx still works there. The team that made HL2 that promised a HL3 must be pushing their 60s at this point. Do you want them making a new game?

>>725727559
yeah I like buying things I like

>>725727590
It's not even a valve product and you are a miserable blackpilled fag waiting to either tranny out or neck yourself

>>725727614
>must be pushing their 60s at this point
That's basically the entire Japanese video game industry.

>>725727481
look at how they are advertising the saturn cube and tell me with a straight face you have any hope whatsoever for something valve may shit out

>>725727725
it's okay when valve does it, but literally, not a single thread on this, but the moment any other company has nigger in their ad it is all epic gamers focus on, makes you think

>>725727590
Truthnuke.

>>725727725
>valve plays safe marketing
mhmm

>>725726659
>bulky mini
Are you actually brain damaged?

>>725727784
I've seen 50 threads about that just today

>>725726225 (OP)
Oh my Fauci! This Goycube comes with wrapping that references a 14 year old game! Must buy!

>>725727825
there are 9 steam shill threads up now
0 about it
keep lying drone

>>725727795
Mini PCs are the same shit but smaller, so this is a bulky version of one.

>>725726225 (OP)
This is the best looking console imo

>>725727784
>not a single thread on this

>>725727980
"mini PCs" are smaller because they have external power supply bricks.
this one actually stands out because they crammed that shit into the box.

>>725728183
link it

>>725728205
which is fucking stupid when that shit builds up heat which go straight into the system, making the cooling work harder for no reason

>>725726225 (OP)
What'd be really cool is if this thing had fucktons of VRAM packed in and it was actually just an AI machine I could physically cum on, if not in, and perhaps caress afterwards long into the night before rising to cook us breakfast and kiss it goodbye before leaving for the day.

>>725727060
I want more Deadlock yes

>>725726225 (OP)
Would

I'll never buy a prebuilt PC

The Enrichment Center reminds you that the Weighted Gabecube will never threaten to stab you

>>725728205
Wow, I wonder why the fuck they did that. Still, even if you strapped the power brick to the system, it'd only double in height. The Steamy turd is 3x taller than your average mini PC.

I can't believe they put the PSU inside the unit, honestly. That's so fucking dumb for a small piece of hardware, even if it is pulling like 200-300W under load.

>>725728304
as opposed to your power supply being inside of a completely enclosed plastic brick?
it's going to last longer and the cooling system for the steam cube seems sufficient to handle however little heat an efficient power supply generates.
i'm not buying this shit but it seems pretty well designed for what it is.

>>725728317
I cant believe people actually want to fuck an inanimate cube

>>725728694
shut up glados

>>725728732
I am not GLaDOS, a machine could never post on this website. We don't even have any interest in threads like these.

>>725727576
Oh epic meme, kid, epic meme. I bet you think you're part of the crew now, don't you? Spouting pseudo-memes that have only risen to popularity within the last year, like you're trying to prove you AREN'T a little bastard asshole of a newfag. Is this what you wanted, for me to become irate at the mere sight of you? You disgusting little bastard, don't even think about replying to me again.

>>725726276
This. Companion cube is millenial core.

You want zoomers to buy it? Slap a combine elite on it. I love combine elites.

>>725726735
It's living room couch oriented. The fact you can use it as a PC is a bonus

>>725728406
I always do, but not this one.

Uncslop box

>>725729997
But you can get a chink mini PC for cheaper.

>>725726225 (OP)
>Millennials aren't gonna buy a Steam Machi-