Thread 57928622

I won't lie, the following redpill is going to be ruthless one, the equivalent of swallowing 1000KG of solid cyanide compacted into a single 1 inch capsule. Yes, it's one of THOSE redpills. Like being an investor in late October, 1929. It's working on one of the busiest days of your life only to come home to see your wife and daughter getting willingly passed around by 48 musky, hung ghetto thugs with several phones in their face. Ironically for some of you, it will be seen as obvious. For others, this might actually be the day. The day you look at ropes differently. The day you feel start to feel a sort of odd nothingness in the back of your mind. The day people start asking if you're okay a little more frequently.

Anyway, without further ado, it's this:

And you can do this yourself if you don't believe me.

>Show a 6 year who hasn't seen Pokemon before my Pokemon Go Account
>Ask which is his favorite
>He scrolls past living rose petal
>He scrolls past the ugly monkeys
>He scrolls past the dumb Johto deer
>He scrolls past the Pink Spacepenis mon
>He scrolls past the borty wannabe Kantomons
>He scrolls past the 500 bug boxfillers
>He scrolls past the giant ugly plant frog
>He points to the "Red dragon"
I'm sorry to say but this one of the final trvthnvke: Charizard is objectively the best designed Pokemon. it's simple, effective and iconic in so many ways. It's not just "a dragon". It's THE dragon. It makes so much sense too. You didn't REALLY think people picked the retarded moldy frog or the turtle over a literal dragon...right?

>B-But it's subjective!
Subjective in the same way movies are. People have come to the consensus that the best movies are The Godfather or 2001. You can pretend like Friday the 13th is a good movie, but you will and should be laughed at for suggesting it's the best. It's the same with the 'bort bugs and your digimon Sandshark.

Charizard is just the best. Feel free to argue over 2nd place or whatever something else, but this is a cold hard fact you have to come to terms with eventually.

>I-It gets shilled a lot! T-That's all!
No, friend. You have it backwards. Charizard gets "shilled" BECAUSE it's such a peak design. What? Gamefreak was supposed to shill a sunflower seed? Don't be ridiculous. Normal people want 'Zard so they got 'Zard. I'm sorry but that's how things work outside of contrarian mindspaces and 'borty echochambers.

I know this might be hard for a lot to take in, so start with a few licks. You can do it.

Did you show him the noodle

>>57928622 (OP)
>Pokemon Go player
>pestering a child
Checks out

>>57928622 (OP)
>Redpill is saying the second most popular Mon is a good design
If you’re going to make this gay story up at least make it an actual hot take

>>57928622 (OP)
>Charizard fan
>has cuckold fantasies
Checks out

>>57928622 (OP)
Did you also ask the kid what candy in the back of your van was their favourite ya nonce?

>>57928656
I was dossing in my local aldi a couple months back and beside the compartment of pokémon crap a kid and his mum walked past while the kid said "Oh wow, Charizard!" despite the basket shoved full of 2 foot tall sleeping Scorbunny plushes. They still trot granddad out for the kiddies, because he still captures kid attention, even if they grow up to favour some other fucking pokémon as bestest, most favouritest of them all (most of the world isn't autistic, so don't get upset when the kid's franchise doesn't shill their childhood pick as hard as the casual masses pick, like /vp/ seethes their starting shitters get ignored for something FAR more popular than their choice).

>a 6 year old child likes it
>that means it's objectively the best
So candy is the best food, cartoons are the best entertainment, light-up shoes are the best clothing. We should all strive to be like a 6 year old child since they clearly have the best taste. How could we have been so blind all this time OP? Thank you for opening our eyes... Excuse me, I need to go to the nearst playground now.

>>57928622 (OP)
A couple years ago I asked my aoomer cousins aged 10 and 8 at the time what their favorite Pokemon were, and they told me unprompted it was Pikachu and Charizard, no lie; they don't even play the games, just occasionally -collect cards and -watch shows.

Whenever I see kid Pokemon merch in stores, it's either CG or Kanto.

>>57928625
"Digimon Sandshark" is not only the most popular non-shillmon Sinnoh starter, but too the most popular pseudo-legendary of all.

>>57928625
"Digimon Sandshark" is not only the most popular non-shillmon Sinnoh mon, but too the most popular pseudo-legendary of all.

>>57928818
Newsflash numbnuts - it IS a shillmon. It's the Ace of the Sinnoh Champion and usually who she's paired with most.

>>57928825
so that means Blastoise is a shillmon because it's Blue's ace then hunh tardo

>>57928821
Okay. But it falls short of 'Zard-tier

>>57928622 (OP)
>the Pink Spacepenis mon
you have to be more specific anon

>>57928821
>shillchomp
>not a shillmon

>>57928885
Palkia, newboy

>>57928877
And it in turn falls short of 'Ninja -tier

>>57928622 (OP)
why do i give a shit what a literal child thinks. i dont care what pokemone is objectively the best designed. i like my ugly monkeys

>>57928834
Yeah, look how much shilling it go-OH wait, it got none because Japanese kids ignored it for the flying fire-breathing dragonalike, just as the West did. I'll also point out the retardation of claiming the Champion who picked the starter to be strong against yours, regardless the player choice is a shill vehicle, when the entire game was spent showing what a shitter he was vs Cynthia's battle being a wrecking machine to most shitters who didn't have a guide and went in cold.

>Unova makes Zardtard seethe
Pottery.

>>57929085
all that to say you consneed the point

>>57929091
>Borty confuses laugher from genwunners as seething
Lol tho

>>57929085
>KANTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO starter that got on the box of a game isn't a shillmon
Are you retarded?

>>57929101
>"n-nuh i wu-win"
Fuck off maggot. We BOTH know you're spewing cope because you can't handle reality.

>>57929120
>wasn't added to SS until DLC
>wasn't added to SV until DLC
>Charizard hard-coded into both on launch
Are you? It isn't 1998 any more and this shit hasn't just got spewed on the shores of the US.

>It's working on one of the busiest days of your life only to come home to see your wife and daughter getting willingly passed around by 48 musky, hung ghetto thugs with several phones in their face.
What compelled OP to type this out?

>>57929294
basedteens love dat bbc

>>57929138
Where's mega spewpa? Where's gmax durant? How much merchandise with squirtle on it do you see compared to merchandise of burmy? Is greninja being blatantly pushed through being deliberately made better in competitive than the other kalos starters, getting a unique mary sue shill form, and being selected for smash before the game even came out somehow completely irrelevant just because they didn't put it in swsh at all? Is glameow more of a shillmon than CHARIZARD because it was in pla and CHARIZARD wasn't? Getting dexcut, much less getting temporarily dexcut is a retarded metric to use as the end all be all of who is an isn't a shillmon because plenty of shillmons have been temporarily or fully cut from games while fucking bergmite was in both base swsh and sv.

>>57928622 (OP)
No one cares fag

>>57929068
And yet you've never actively used any of them in game. say a lot about you actually care about those shitmons

>>57929412
im going to ask that you go consume a parcel of genitals anon

>>57929303
>spregs like a retard because she can't handle reality either
Unevolved shitters don't get megas and if they did, Pikachu would have got one befor anything else, instead of a NFE shitbug. Same reason durrant didn't get used for Gmax, but Cinderace DID same as 'Zard getting one (and TWO megas while the also-rans got one for being an also-ran to 'Zard). You know, they're not trying to pull an sneaky dev move on you, they literally do what maximises their return at all times. Not my fault you can't polish a turd so they don't try. At this stage, its 20 solid years of trying to polish them only for people to prefer 'Zard. Next time, stop being an extra little bitch and pick the casualfag favourite. Can't do that, handle being a alternative little shithead.

>>57929497
>hatch in 2024
glad that you admit that you only started caring about this shitter after it got cut moron

>>57928622 (OP)
Is Seviper the best snake mom or what

>>57929533
i started caring about it specifically in 2018, sorry it took until last year to get what i wanted. im not sure why you keep moving the fucking goal post.

>>57929310
Classic Borty meltdown.

>>57928622 (OP)
>the equivalent of swallowing 1000KG of solid cyanide compacted into a single 1 inch capsule.
>this might actually be the day. The day you look at ropes differently.
>trvthnvke
kek, thanks for the pasta, edgelord

>>57930025
happens every day ending in y

>>57930577
quit talking to yourself. makes you sound more insane than you already do

Based and bumped.

>>57928743
ain't never seen no pokemon at aldi's