>>6003468
I was in a similar situation. Ditched my high school sweetheart because I thought I was head over heels in love. This happened over 10 years ago, it didn't work out with the other woman and I married another girl entirely who is wonderful, but to this day, and I am sure until my last day, I still think about my first love with pain, knowing all I did was short sighted, selfish, and ultimately evil.
Love is not a sudden thing. You might convince yourself it is, but it isn't. Love, real love and not mindless passion or lust, is something that takes time to build. It needs vigilance and care. I have three amazing kids now and the best wife I could ever hope for, but the pain is still here. I know I threw away something important, and I know I made the worst possible choice. My friends and family at the time, when I told them I was conflicted, all told me to do what I felt was right. I wish they hadn't. I wish they had told me that I needed to grow up. I wish they had told me I was being a complete fool. Someone loves you, anon. Someone sees you as a pillar that lifts their heart. What is that worth to you?
To close off this rambling, ten years after abandoning her, I decided fuck it. I need closure. I will call her, not to win her back or anything like that, but just to tell her I am sorry. Tell her I regret it all, and that I hope she is happy now. All that call did was end in us crying, and there was no closure. She hates me yesterday, today, and tomorrow, and likely always will, and rightfully so. I am left just wishing we could move on, but it hasn't happened yet. It never will. I will be honest. Knowing how these things go, I doubt you will listen, but I typed it all up just because of the slim chance you won't do the same stupid shit.
