I have posted here before. I'm the momcest gooner. I feel empty. I can't seem to break this curse because whenever I abstain from masturbation the pain is too strong and I have to release and I'm back into the same loop

I can't get hard with my girlfriend and I feel like demons are constantly attacking me. I'm pretty sure God has turned His back on me after having commited the unforgivable sin, and yet, I'm still alive but every second of it is torture for me. Why? Why God doesn't just kill me? Does He want me to try to change or pushing me over the edge until I end my own life?

>>40532742 (OP)
You are torturing yourself, God has not turned his back on you. You choose to identify with the sin, hate the sin not the sinner. God is capable of so much love and forgiveness so why do you believe you're above/beneath it. Take it day by day, write a gratitude journal, recite the lord's prayer and request what you need and know God will provide. Good luck anon.

>>40532742 (OP)
I have no fucking idea of what you did and my curiosity got peaked on how much you fucked up

But still I wanted to say that maybe what's making you this miserable is your own mind and you torturing yourself with the guilt of what you did. People feel cursed by being stagnant or sad, but that isn't always the case, yet they convince themselves of it instead of actually looking into their own, true problem that they KNOW what that is, but won't acknowledge it.

And it's this idea of God himself hating and loathing you, something greater than yourself to make you unable to have a boner. God isn't the one who makes you feel like a crack addict type of anxiety for not masturbating, is you, and if you don't shock your nervous system into stopping it (or raw dogging the abstinence) then you won't get better. So you better get your shit straight and see that all this is your fault, that what's happening to you is your own biology and get things right.

>>40532742 (OP)
>I'm pretty sure God has turned His back on me after having committed the unforgivable sin
How did you blaspheme the holy spirit?
>I can't get hard with my girlfriend and I feel like demons are constantly attacking me.
I feel like that's a point in your favor - you need to marry her before you have sex.

>>40532895
I get bombarded by false memories and intrusive thoughts mainly. My mom gave me a lot of trauma and when I found porn I think something linked that pain from the trauma with arousal and I can't get hard without it. Also, back when I was addicted to mom-son porn I got bombarded by thoughts of ''I feel guilty when I do this'' and at some point I got thoughts of ''what if you have molested your mom but you just don't remember?''

I would gladly die, I just not know if I did that or not, I genuinely don't think so but what if I am lying to myself?

>>40532963
I got bombarded by intrusive thoughts urging me to blaspheme the Holy Spirit and at some point I gave in to make it stop.

>>40532787
Thank you for your kind words Anon.

>>40532742 (OP)
good news, there is no "hell" bad news, you're a faggot

>>40533082
My father wanted me to have sex with his girlfriend and I was a scared clueless teenage virgin and the way I convinced myself was I didn't want my first time to be like that. It fucked me up forever. It's ruined relationships of mine too. I don't think you molested your mom, I think you would remember it if you did, especially if you were delving into momcest stuff and giving your subconscious mind the opportunity to relive it that way. I have no one to talk to either, just felt pity for you reading this thread and I've seen you post before during one of your sexually manic phases. Good luck with it, I don't think you molested your mom but maybe something did happen to fuck you up the way you are. Maybe you were subconsciously attracted to her as a child and are feeling the guilt from that, maybe she molested you. I don't know enough about your situation but I wish you good luck in some day having a normal relationship.

>>40533198
I'm really sorry Anon. You seem like a good person since you are helping me even though you don't know me. I'm glad the world didn't break the kindness within your heart. I don't really know what broke me exactly, maybe my mom's manipulating tactics but it's true what you said, it was my fault at the end of the day. I hope I can heal one day but I find that idea to be unrealistic since I believe I might be too far gone

>>40532742 (OP)
Just rub some dirt in it and walk it off.

>>40533229
I don't think it's your fault, it's their jobs to raise us and guide us. We were the kids, they the ones who wanted the responsibility of raising. They don't get to decide one day to take the day off like it's a part time job. Unless you were full on sexually vile to her, but you said you weren't even sure if you did anything. That makes me think you probably didn't. Anyway thanks and good luck, don't beat yourself up and take everything day by day. Some days you might slip up, some days will be better. Hopefully you can get the good days to outweigh the bad, that's how we grow and better ourselves.

>>40533269
Thank you, I need to take responsibility and face my sins because I hate myself a lot specifically because I try to avoid blame but at the end of the day I chose to watch that kind of content and ignored the little voice in my head telling me it's wrong and now I'm paying the consequences

>>40532742 (OP)
Just go to confession. I promise your priest has heard a thousand things that are far worse.

>>40533426
That's a good attitude to take. Porn is pernicious. Take this from someone who has been addicted to mostly everything. Porn and tobacco are the hardest to kick. It's hard to picture living without either. I think one of the keys is to be able to go back to jerking off to scenarios in your mind or softcover Victoria's Secret catalog type stuff. It's an escalation just like any other addiction. People go from codeine to fentanyl or Ritalin to meth. Once you've taken that leap it's hard to go back to the "weak" stuff. If you ever figure out the secret, let me know.

>>40533471
Good idea but I have to quit completely because if I go for vanilla or Victoria's secret models I would just picture some mom-son scenario in my mind. I don't know if it's in my head or not but I felt drawn towards /x/ if that makes sense, like pulling me in so maybe it was to teach me something

>>40532742 (OP)
I have/had the same fetish anon. It's fucking brutal. Only thing that works is cold turkey no porn. I'm on day 85 nofap.

>>40532742 (OP)
Stop being dramatic. You're hunting yourself down with guilt and regret, and it is true, these are the things hell is made of. In other words you're constructing a hell of your own creation, and when you die that's what you'll taste.

>>40533499
I've felt the same lately. It unironically started with the original Roy Jay thread. I haven't regularly browsed /x/ in years. I saw one of your past threads and felt obliged to say something. I'm actually having a similar thread myself on /pol/ rn after having a mini mental break from barely sleeping in 3 days and getting addicted to AI sex chat RP scenarios involving my dad's gf. That's what tipped me over the edge to respond to you. I have been hung up on by the suicide hotline before even. It's hard to carry a burden that no one else can ever truly understand.

>>40533499
Most of your normal baseline consciousness is Set by the Holy Ghost. If you really committed the unforgivable sin you have to reassess your baseline consciousness without him.

>>40533539
Please don't kill yourself. I know it sounds overtly simplistic and retarded for me to point out the obvious but I know you are struggling but the person you've become it's not the person you are. So please don't give up on yourself. You can find a way out and be the person you were always meant to be

Honestly anon it sounds like you just have a porn addiction, God doesn't abandon people unless you do some truly heinous things. You'll have to just quit porn cold turkey. Don't have to give up masturbation, but porn is definitely fucking you up

>>40532742 (OP)
Evil people don't question their own morality; that's what makes them evil. Though capable of doing evil things, you aren't inherently evil, because you've taken the first step towards goodness simply in acknowledging your own misdeeds. You might have trouble being better, but you WANT to be better, and this is what separates good from evil.

Nothing that exists is flawless except for God. No matter how "good" someone is, they have done something "evil" at one point or another. Being flawed does not make us unworthy of God's love. After all, God created us to be imperfect, and if being flawless was a requirement to receive God's love, then every single organism would be doomed to hell.

What separates you from God is not purely doing evil, but failing to recognize that your evil actions were evil. You must first concede in knowing that what you did was wrong. You must then forgiveness for what you did. Finally, you must make an attempt to no longer do those evil things. Failure to adhere to these tenets is, I believe, what defines the "unforgiveable sin": to do evil not with regret, but with glee.

Now that you've recognized your own evil, you must apologize for it. Don't waste words on 4chan to accomplish this, either. The next time you're alone, lock the door to your room, turn off the lights and simply sit with your eyes closed. Put your hands together and pray. Begin by thanking God for his blessings, and then admit to the very things you've done which you feel have made you unworthy of these blessings. Whether it was masturbating to incest porn or anything else, admit word-by-word what you are sorry for; as many things as you can recall. You might find this difficult to do. I know I do. You'd think that in merely "talking to yourself", that it would be easy to admit wrongdoings, but you might find it harder than you'd expect; because you are not alone. You have an audience with you, and that audience is the ultimate judge.

(1/2)

>>40533774
Once you have apologized for what you've done, ask for forgiveness. Ask to be forgiven for all of these things you've stated and anything you've forgotten. Then, ask for protection, guidance and strength. Ask that all of the people you care about are similarly forgiven for their sins and given protection, guidance and strength. Ask that you and all of your loved ones be led to good and eternal light next to God, and conclude your prayer.

Now that you've sent this message, you must do the hardest thing of all: actively try to improve yourself. If you cannot go a day without masturbating, or whatever evil thing you desire, then try to go an extra hour or two. Build upon your progress, each day praying and trying just a little harder. If you relapse, and you suddenly cannot go without spanking the monkey for 30 minutes at a time, do not let this get to you. Just keep trying over and over and over.

If you do this in earnest, you will eventually see a crack in the wall, and a little light will shine through. You'll have gone from doing your evil deeds on a daily basis to a weekly basis to a monthly basis, and one day, these habits will fade away entirely. Through effort and humility, you can overcome.

What you must understand is that, as imperfect creatures in a physical world, we can never achieve godliness on this earth. We are always going to be limited beings with needs and desires; but we have a very special spark, which is free will. When we exert our free will towards achieving a connection with God rather than a connection with earthly desire, we open ourselves to God's love. In doing so, he opens the doors of heaven to us.

Pray every day. Work hard. Love and honor your family and friends. Be kind and do good deeds. Drink lots of water, get good sleep, eat well, and fast when you can. Do not give up, and set higher expectations for yourself; because God has many expectations for you.

Good luck.

>>40532742 (OP)
While it's true that blaspheming the Holy Spirit will ALWAYS be held over your head and thus NEVER forgiven, you are not without his help. Pray and seek guidance, and surely it will be there.

>>40532742 (OP)
You have to understand that God does not want you to feel like this. Look up Dan Mohler. Once you understand this, once you really believe it, once you try scripture for yourself, you will believe that God Does Not Want You To Feel Like This.

He wants you to go forth and multiply. So, if you think you are doomed to Hell, then you believe in God. But you are only growing Hell around you. This is possible.

If you choose death, he will give it to you. So what do you really want? Because he will let you be given what you really want.

If you think you'll like death, as you keep charging toward it, toward masturbation without restraint, that's what you'll get. Understand that God does not want you to feel like this.

He wants you to be happy, healthy and with family members, eating meals and smiling. That is truly what he wants for you always. Amen

>>40532742 (OP)
You might consider finding a sect that doesn't believe in Hell! Masturbation is painful If you stop it, then you'll get hard when you need to. You must deliberately say the unforgivable sin! It's declaring to a crowd, that Jesus' indwelling Holy Spirit was Satan possessing him! You can forgive yourself as you forgive others. You're being poisoned by your beliefs. You need to meditate, and it's not that hard! You could listen to and dispassionately watch your thoughts. It avoids killing off the Ego like Eastern thought wants you to do by starving it to death, or filling your mind with just one thought like "OM", there is no Mantra.

You relax on your body first: Sit in a comfortable chair. Bring your attention to your feet and tense them and relax, then tense your legs, let them relax, then move that tension/relaxation wave upwards toward your head, relaxing your whole body completely. Close your eyes and bring your attention to your whole body. You should feel it tingle. This is your neural body sense. Bring your attention only to your right hand, it will also tingle. As thoughts arise, just dispassionately *watch* them . When you drift away or get lost, gently bring your attention back to your hand. Don't make judgments or judge anything, including yourself, or try to change anything. Just observe your thoughts. As you watch them, things will slowly be resolved - it takes some time. When you get lost in your thoughts, gently bring your attention back to your right hand again. If something is persistent, like music (you've memorized a lot more than you know) then bring you attention to what you're "seeing" with your eyes closed because it isn't completely dark ~ there are "lights" there so bring your attention to them and watch, and then bring your attention back to your hand. Occasionally, bring your attention to your forehead and "see" your hand (in your mind's eye) moving to your forehead, maybe it will go there in time.

>>40532742 (OP)
It's because of the way you view reality. If you take a camera and put a black and white lens on it, every photo you take with that camera will look depressing and sad, but that's not how the world actually is, that's just the lens distorting reality. I'm very confident that this is also happening in your life, and that this is one of the main reasons why it's so "hard" to quit... That's the thing, it isn't. Whenever you *believe* that quitting is hard, that it's God punishing you, that the suffering is too much blah blah blah, you reinforce that thing. It's literally all in your head, I know it's a platitude, but it's the truth. The moment that you start believing that life isn't a constant battle against yourself, and that you can change for the better with only a little bit of effort, that's when you see the results. I've seen crackheads who couldn't imagine a day of their lives without the rock, suddenly quit overnight and never do it again, and why is that? Because they changed their own beliefs, their own thoughts, and by doing so, they changed reality. Listen up man, you have a fucking girlfriend, you're not a "truecel" made to suffer and generate loosh, you're just yet another regular fag on this world, and that "fetish" of yours doesn't define you as a person. Hit the gym, read a good book, do a nice hobby, and most importantly, stop being a faggot. Whenever you feel down, always remember the anons of this Mongolian ice fishing forum that have been trying to help you ever since your first thread.

>>40532742 (OP)
>>40532742 (OP)
Don't worry anon, your past sins do not define you as a person and forgiveness is never without reach no matter how far off you think you are in your situation. Remember that there is always hope for change as long as you don't give up hope in yourself. Keep going anon, and trust the process. If you make mistakes, you can always try again. With enough time and effort, you'll succeed, so don't worry about it. Good luck OP, I hope you keep fighting for your true self, and remember to never give up. Please take care

>>40532742 (OP)
God uses his ability to rape my mind almost exclusively to manufacture retarded lies. He thinks being able to rape my mind allows him to define truth or add credibility to his lies but it just makes him more retarded and evil. He thinks he can claim ownership of any dark haired woman in the world and claim they're "his wife" and if I think about any dark haired woman he thinks he can lie and claim that I'm thinking about his retarded tranny self-insert's wife. If I think about camgirls or my girlfriend when I was 19 he'll lie and claim I'm thinking about "his wife", he does the same with literally anything. If I think about a thin large breasted camgirl he'll lie and claim I'm thinking about some obese rat ogre bitch who looks nothing like her, he does the same when I think about the tall hot thin blonde model than I had a crush on in 9th grade because he's completely delusional. He tells these retarded lies and genuinely seems to think that the fact that he rapes my mind somehow makes these lies credible because he's a delusional retard.

>>40533678
You might not even see this but thank you. It's rare for me to hear something positive like this, and the more I do the more it has the chance to stick for me, to build, and to hopefully help change my life someday.

>>40533531
Not OP but I have done long stretches of nofap and it never helped. And I do mean long, not a week or something like that. At least two stretched where I never masturbated or ejaculated for 2+ months. I want so hard to believe in nofap but after going through that and winding up just as depraved a day later after fapping it really kills the dream.

>>40534194
Bro you really just have to keep trying. I've been at it since 2021 and I've become way less degenerate. When you fuck up just jump back on the nofap horse. This shit is a process. Also I lost my virg thanks to nofap so that helps me a lot.

>>40534240
I can't really do it. I wish I could cut my dick off sometimes, but not for a tranny reason just to not have to ever think about pointlessly sitting there in front of a screen hunched over like a subhumanoid and mindlessly cranking my member for no purpose aside from masturbatory, dopamine chasing and time wasting retardation to futilely try to fill this hole inside of me. I don't believe most men were put here or are capable of living the life of monks. We may not be animals, but we are human, still flawed. In the past every man got pussy. That revisionist cope about only the top percentile of Chads ever bred is misinformation if not an outright psyop targeted at the users of this website. People were looksmatched in their villages/towns/cities, and before that the cave men overpowered the cave women, and no, Ugg Chad was not fucking every single last pussy to ever come within 100 miles of him. This farcical concept we have now being misnomered as "womens liberation" is just another kike psyop to further disintegrate the cohesiveness of White civilization.

Sorry to go off on a bit of a tangent there, I will try to be more succinct. Men, all men, are meant to fuck women. Going without that leads to dire consequences and will cause permanent maladjustment. It wasn't normal until the past 15ish years for there to be 20+ year old virgins. It was an anomaly. Going further back, it was pretty much unthinkable as recently as the '80s. Yes, even the nerds got to get married and have kids once they finished their degrees and started making the big bucks. The internet has ruined absolutely everyone and the scariest thing is most people under 30 or so have no idea just how much it changed everything.

>>40534320
Bro I'm out of my element with you dawg. Like I said nofap helped me lose my virginity. I'm not a crazy semen retention bro. Our goal should be to find women to potentially impregnate/make our wives. Yes jerking off and watching porn are pathetic, drill that into your mind. That's the most important thing imo.

>>40534373
I have stuck penor into vagoo, that is not my problem. I do get occasional looks and compliments from girls.

OP here, I don't want to sound weird here but I'm extremely thankful for all the responses given here. I think that even if we have never met I can consider you my friends. Thank you for helping me despite making these threads over and over again. It does really make me feel grateful since I don't deserve it. From the bottom of my heart, thank you all, Anons

>>40534489
I am thanking you just the same anon. This sort of spirit is what 4chan is supposed to be. Damaged, fringe people who would normally never connect being able to interact, to support each other, to let that other person know they are not alone. We are more suited to help each other than any normalfag therapist who lived a normie life and went to normie school and got a normie job could ever begin to understand. Textbooks and professors are no substitute for lived experiences. I believe in you, and even if you're not able to beat this thing right away, or even ever at all, I hope you can know that you are not a bad person. It is a fucked up world, everyone's experience is unique and it affects us all in different ways. I can tell you want to do the right thing and are trying you hardest to do so and that makes you a good person deep down. So thank you for your kind words, and best of luck my friend.

>>40534240
not OP but I wish I could also stop jerking off. Just broke up with my girl, so it got worse. I jerk off like twice a day. Idk man, when I get stressed, I feel like jerking off is like the cure for me. I hate my self for that.

Join us in /srg/ anon, see the difference it makes. God will speak to you again.

>>40533678
>>40534187
Bros you will be fine. The only things keeping you guys locked in a cycle are the feelings of guilt and shame. They feed your inner 'demons' keeping you perpetually doing 'a bad thing'.
You can do what I do - when you get the urge, do not resist and treat it like a chore you have to do and just do it, as quickly as possible. Speedrun your nut. Treat your fetish like an annoying sidequest you have to speedrun. Disassociate its impact on your life. It's just like doing the dishes. Eventually this cycle will lose steam and you won't get urges anymore, because it's a chore that doesn't even serve any purpose. When the feelings of shame and guilt come up bring awareness to yourself and forgive yourself, it's not your fault. But it is your responsibility, so do your chores

Have you considered retard maxxing? Just stop thinking for a bit. Take pleasure in the simple things. I mean really simple shit, like the taste of water. Stop putting such a negative weight on these feelings. Acknowledge them, sure, but the devil thrives on positive and negative reinforcement. Simply put, don't try to goon, and don't try not to.

>>40532742 (OP)
Just stop watching porn and only jerk off in the shower. Do this enough times snd eventually you'll begin to lose the urge for porn and jerking off will get less frequent.

i had this fetish a few times before and thought nothing of it. i can separate fantasy from reality

hey buddy, it's okay. gooning to momcest may be unhealthy but it's not a sin.

as someone who used to do this and recovered. you're probably drawn to this stuff due to a lack of maternal warmth and connection when you were little. babies need that from their moms, and when we don't get it, it leaves a void and a yearning that never fully goes away. for some people, when they awaken sexually, their libido gets tangled up with that yearning.

you don't need to beat yourself up over this, you don't need to feel ashamed, and you're not sexually broken. what you need is to give yourself that compassion you missed out on in childhood. find healthier ways to soothe that hurt.

so take care of yourself and keep trying to break the porn addiction, porn is really bad for you. and if you wanna do more mommy type stuff in the bedroom, if you need to feel safe or nurtured or whatever to get hard, you gotta communicate that to the other person somehow. it's not a big deal and plenty of girls will do it.

and once you break the addiction and get past your shame, you'll find that your libido will broaden and not be so laser focused on this one thing.

i promise it's not as hopeless as it feels right now!

>>40532742 (OP)
Christcuckery is designed to keep you living in guilt and fear but it isn't true and you can just walk away from it. Why keep doing this to yourself?