>>40536746 (OP)I guess so? I think I was in waking astral when I encountered them. I was gangstalked??? and arrested many times for nothing. Then my entire life was closed off from everything else. Now I live in small waking astral?????? bits along with dreams that seem to represent memories, current moments etc. This is where the current battles seem to take place, at least the ones that don't tend to find their way to me. Every moment is like a battle, even when the voices are quiet. They seem to want to stop me from going somewhere, and seem not to know how to ask for help: you'd think they'd sedate me properly. All I get is the same idea rolling through everything; emptiness, blips of a story poorly written, sadness, a subtle threat underlying the entire thing. I don't want to believe anything they peddle, I don't want to do anything they suggest, if you haven't taken a look at the world it seems entirely like a field of battle designed to imprison every mentality that could exist. The closer you look the more nothing holds value aside from God. They hate Him. They hate me. They lost all pretense awhile ago, my family isn't my family anymore, my life polluted with horror constantly.
The only thing that comes close to working is thinking about God's perfection, how none of this can exist because He does. It comforts me, He fights for me in every battle, I'm still lost but we'll find our way someday. Until then I wait everyday, waking to torment, sleeping to torment, living in darkness, waiting to pass out and see something meaningful. I've seen Him in a few of my dreams lately, I wonder what He wants to do with that. I want to see it as a sign of progress, nothing tends to change though. It will, but it hasn't.
If He sent any of you I need help.