>>40574214>I can accept that this life of mine is screwedThat's why your next life will be screwed.
>developed acne and experience problems retaining informationBecause in your sexual abuse, you were force-fed energetic information of that most malicious kind, and you're still carrying it.
Like a charged battery can't be charged up more with new electricity, you must first discharge the pain before you can fill the void that creates with harmony and goodness.
The acne is a symptom of your body trying very hard to wash the toxic energy away.
You might not like it but this following bit is a universal truth.
Holding on to that energy is a choice. It can be made passively, perhaps it was made once years ago and people forgot they made it, or they never actively thought about making that choice and it naturally happened as part of the body's self-protection mechanics.
It will remain there until people make the active decision to let go of the energy. That's the hard part, because it brings the emotion out and people will express it.
That may involve screaming and punching pillows, it may even invite escapism through OnlyFans and games and drugs and booze and so on.
Key to this process is the faith and confidence in yourself and your ability to endure it.
How do you achieve that confidence? Look in the mirror. If you couldn't survive it, you would be dead already.
The fact that you're alive is proof that you're stronger than your abuser. Nobody can take that away from you.
Therein lays strength, and all truths are self-evident.
Precisely because you've ensured it before, you can endure the release.
It won't be effortless. It won't kill you either. Allow that to be your light at the end of the tunnel.