My cross is fucking awful. Want to die constantly. Cannot cope besides through distractions, which he hates. Prayer hardly helps. I'm losing it. I get angry and can't help but think of him as a selfish, heartless bastard. Everytime I hear a story of some pious monk who's driven to the brink and endures because God says some shit like
>You can't endure this for my sake?
It makes me want to gag. I can hardly endure my problems for my own sake. I really resent him, a lot. I know I'm not supposed to. But I really am furious and feel totally betrayed and abandoned. I am completely worn down. I don't want to hear that his strength is made perfect in weakness, I'm tired of hearing about how much he likes it when we're in pain, how good it is for him. I want this yoke off. My shoulders hurt. I don't want to suffer anymore. It feels like a bad joke that I'm the butt of. Nothing I do is ever enough. Thoughts?

Your life is nothing, it doesn't matter. Why not end it?

>>40596134 (OP)
>god doesn't exist

Problem solved

>>40596174
There are no reasons I could give you that you would care to hear, if you're the sort of person who would suggest that in the first place.

>>40596190
But he does. I know for certain he does. This isn't a crisis of faith that's just come about because I'm in a dry spell. I have had supernatural experiences that confirm the existence of God, the Christian God specifically, to me. I know he hears me when I get angry and talk to him. I know he knows what's wrong with me isn't "fair." I know that he doesn't want to fix it. I also know that he loves me, in a huge and imperceptible sort of way. But that isn't what I want or need right now.

>>40596134 (OP)
The misery of a lost person who hates God has nothing to do with the tribulations endured by christians, the ones actually taking the cross.

“¶ And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.” (Luke 9:23)

“¶ Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

>>40596247
Well good the local Pharisee has decided I don't get to be a Christian because I'm mad about the infirmity that's afflicted me since I was a child. Someday, you'll be frustrated too, and some imbecile will show up to say
>Well uuuuuuh if you're upset it means you aren't a Christian lol
I guess that means Christ himself doesn't live up to your exacting standards. Matthew 27:46.

>>40596291
>Well good the local Pharisee has decided I don't get to be a Christian because I'm mad about the infirmity that's afflicted me since I was a child.

I never said that, if you are saved you are saved. We all have issues and many have been mad at God at some point, myself included, but your understanding of Him appears to be that of a lost man that was never regenerated.

>Someday, you'll be frustrated too, and some imbecile will show up to say "Well uuuuuuh if you're upset it means you aren't a Christian lol".

That could happen.

>I guess that means Christ himself doesn't live up to your exacting standards. Matthew 27:46.

He was forsaken in the sense that the Father turned His back on Him as he became the sin that was to be destroyed on the cross, but God never forsakes a believer for any reason, no matter how bad we think we have it.

Stop jerking off unironically, the jews say your prayers aren't heard when you spill your seed and the "Tribunal on High" is weakened when you do it.

>>40596429
Yes you did
>The misery of a lost person who hates God has nothing to do with the tribulations endured by christians, the ones actually taking the cross.
Not that I care what your opinion on that matter is. I don't feel as though God has forsaken me, anyway. I feel as though I was incredibly unlucky to be born as myself and to have the problems I have, and the issues that have arisen as a result of them. I don't expect sympathy from you, I guess, but I'm not sure what to do with this. Being told
>Well God's still there man
Is not really helpful, because God didn't have to let certain things happen to me that did and made my situation worse. Yes, things can always be worse. I could have been born a cripple or a downie, or inbred, or in a third world country. I could be spontaneously homeless and shanked to death by a bum in an alleyway. I also could have been created arbitrarily healthier and more capable, born to a better family, etc. etc. Everyone has heard this shit before and it's primarily what breaks people's trust in God. That circumstances are unnecessarily difficult and he seems to withdraw from us when we need him most. People who are loved by God love him, people who are forced to suffer for his sake generally do not. The effects are cumulative, the more miserable you are, the more you need him, the less likely he is to be there, the more likely you are to turn your back on him. I'm tired of these shit tests, it's like dealing with a woman sometimes. He is an awful narcissist by human standards but his ways are not our ways. The friction between understanding the unfairness of humanity's condition and knowing that God is real, and apparently benevolent, but looking around and seeing nothing but filth and chaos is maddening. Let alone my actual personal issues.

>>40596174
because suicide attempts cause the absolute worst NDEs.

>>40596509
I sense a lot of confusion here. Would you walk me through your story of salvation? I'll be praying for you, but getting help is easier if know where we stand in terms of our relationship with God.

>>40596134 (OP)
let me guess, your problems are all in your fucking head. If you go to the doctor they tell you it's psychosomatic. It means you're fucked because you think you are. Fucking forget about all this god and cross yipyap bullshit and try to live your life, realize you can't control everything, and try to do the best you can. Stop thinking all the time about how fucked you are and it will get better. It's not so fucking hard even niggers do it. Classic whiny ass schizoid blaming gods for their own hubris. Doesn't even matter whether god is real or not because you're your own worst enemy faggot. Go touch some goddamn grass.

>>40596691
It's just too much to lay out altogether on /x/. I have a handful of diseases and genetic defects that are incurable that damage my quality of life in ways that range from a minor consistent nuisance to a life ruining disaster. That's all you need to know. I pray to God constantly to remove them, and he won't. He actively ignores me when I ask. It's extremely annoying. He isn't too terrible besides that, and I can feel that he loves me, but what I want from him most of all is for these illnesses to be cured so I can live my life as a normal person. The one thing I want is the thing he won't give me. I feel as though this is a cynical and selfish decision, and that he is doing it because my diseases are leverage for him to coerce me into behaviors he prefers. I try to remind myself that his ways are not our ways, but if I think of him as a person, he would be unscrupulous and selfish. Especially considering that he absolutely does have the ability to instantly fix my problems.

>>40596720
Guy who confuses rote cynicism for wisdom

>>40596134 (OP)
Do it for Him, do it for you to become better.

>>40596134 (OP)
I'm deeply sorry to hear that you're going through this yourself, I've been through something like this similar to myself, so I can sympathize.

My thoughts are, is that you must remember that this God doesn't solely define and control who you are as a person deep down inside, and that your life and your consciousness is absolutely precious and worth fighting for, and most importantly of all, no matter how despairing or pointless the situation may seem to feel to you in the present moment, you will overcome this difficult trial and tribulation in the end, and ultimately become a happier and better person for it, as long as you continue to hold hope in yourself and in victory.

I am not sure why exactly you are going through this awful experience in the first place, but what I do know for sure is that there is a solution to this problem, and you can indeed fix it. My advice to you is to try your best to endure and push forward life in whichever way possible, whether it be physical, mental, or spiritual, until you find your solution and succeed. Never give up hope, anon, believe in yourself, and you will overcome this difficult obstacle. That is something I can promise for sure. Anyways, I sincerely wish you the best of luck, OP, please stay safe and take care, and no matter what happens in life, always believe in victory, because it is yours to take. Thank you.

>>40596720
Unnecessarily rude and mean. Everybody's problems and suffering is unique to them. If you yourself are suffering, then I wish you the best and hope you overcome it as well, but this is not the right or healthy way to give advice and inspire other people who are also suffering as well help overcome their own trial and tribulation. It is toxic and unbecoming of a person to do so, but it is something that is fully within your control to take shape and change for yourself and for the better. Please take care.

>>40596134 (OP)
Christian to Christian: your burdens are nothing. Are you caring for your dying mother or watching your children waste from hunger or attacked while in church for practicing your faith. Your self pity and victimization is disgusting frankly. Man the fuck up and pick up your cross. Or dont and return to the world and its passions. God loves you enough to give you free will to love Him. Youre free to stop at anytime, lukewarm anon.

>>40596755
Not him, but I'm someone who's been having struggles of my own, and my life on this earth feels very rough to live for me.
The most important thing to always keep in mind, is that it's the next world we all need to look forward to, not this one.
Every single person who has ever lived has died. Christ himself was tortured to death, yet you know the glorious place he has in heaven.
The propthets were stoned to death and tortured, and I'm sure you presume the reward they have in heaven. God said, "The most feeble of them will be like David, and the house of David will be like God".

So you're sick and dying. Boo hoo, look around you. There are babies who live for only a few days. There are wicked sinners who live for 100 years. You know where each one is going on judgement day.
Do the will of God to the best of your ability, and look forward to the day your spirit will pass on to incoruption and endless life.

>>40596755
The reason I wanted to know is because your posts are constructed around rather appalling misunderstandings of basic bible doctrine, in so much that I figured you may have undergone a false conversion, which fortunately is quite common, and if that were so, then the path forward is going to be different.

“For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:8-10)

God is not out there causing or ignoring this misery in your life for a selfish or stupid reason, neither should you count it a punishment for anything you did or refused to do. Suffering is a fact of life and sometimes there's no way around it other than learning to live with it by God's grace.

One thing you can be certain of is that God knows you'll be better off with it than without it in the long run. Maybe He knows you'd have ignored Him completely and gone to hell if you were healthy, and even after getting saved, maybe better health would have staunched your spiritual growth and left you without recompense in the life to come. Think about it, we are like babies crying over some uncomfortable but necessary medical procedure.

I'm sorry I can't be of any help, but remember you never know what God's timing is. Maybe He will heal you, but that may be yet for a time to come.

>>40596469
Is this why whenever I go on a mausterbation fast I encounter a woman who makes me uncontrolably horny and I end up relapsing to porn hard? Satan sending his strongest warriors and they don't even need to be provocative, they just have to get me hot and bothered

>>40596134 (OP)
god isnt real you schizophrenic faggot

>>40597063
Your hellegian dialect republic isn't real either faggot.
Eventually your pagan empire will be destroyed like all the others

>>40596174
Why would anyone listen to your bitch ass?

>>40597079

>>40597079
Keep rejecting the free gift

>>40596986
Just another toxic christ-cuck or a pathetic soul-sucking leech of a troll. Another day in paradise, I suppose. Here's you're (You), go ahead and pick it up from the filthy ground if you want.

>>40597098
Which is ironic how you don't hate your muppet bureacrats for doing the same shit. They are all in the same occult plotting and sowing seeds of discord amd hatred yet you are too blind to see that your republic is nothing but a demonic tool to cause chaos among the masses.
>Joe Biden
>Trump
>Obama?
There all in the cult doing the will of their father the devil

>>40597105
Keep seething. If yoy want to be lied to, convert to Mormonism or Islam. Youre burdens are NOTHING. Youre too prideful to admit it. Like I said: free will.
Live in ignorance, enjoy a shitty life and, and be prepared for eternal hell fire.

>>40597105
>t.Satan
>Human you need to love my kingdom more!
>Otherwise your toxic, hateful bitter and misogynistic
>The other head: You must be one of those libtards who desire to own nothing and eat synthetic lab meats!
>The third head: You can't stop me from pursuing porn, video game, and heart clogging food!

>>40597124
most politicians are very boring people irl
you wouldnt know that because you never leave your house
>>40596469
i dont jerk off i have sex
>>40597140
free breadsticks

>>40597153
>most politicians are very boring people irl
Nothing to see here fellow humans we are just boring old people like you!

>>40597085
Because I'm beautiful.

>>40596134 (OP)
>which he hates
how would you know?

>>40597171
Now shape shift back into your true form

>>40597171
Thats kinda cool honestly

>>40596134 (OP)
Same man. I haven’t been able to see my kids in 15 years and God refuses to help in any fucking way. If I lose in court I’m simply killing myself. I don’t understand at the fuck all why God lets the devil win. I’m no longer mad at God or anybody. It’s like once I decided that I’m going to commit suicide if I lose in court, everything else seemed meaningless and small including God. It feels right to die like this. Like it’s what I’m supposed to do. Last night when taking a bath I almost inhaled some water and I wasn’t even scared. Just comfort in the thought of death. It felt good and right. I just don’t want anyone to find me. I’m hoping to get a rifle and do it in the woods. This way the animals can feast on my corpse and I can do something good in the world.

>>40597318
Go to the looney bin, they have people there who can help you win your case. Just take the pills. The judges love it when you take the pills. The system is a game man. It's a game and you have to play. If you don't play you get game over man, and game over ain't no fun, there ain't no restart here man.
The looney bin is free. Will cost you nothing. Just say the magic words, you already said them here, you can say them to a mental health "professional" too. It's like a cheat code, but in real life. So go use that cheat code man, and win the game. Play the system. Win your case, get chicken tendies, and you're all set for life.

>>40596134 (OP)
>>40597318
You should acknowledge your emotions. I don't know or really think God cares about the human condition. I've had a hard time, too, and God doesn't seem to genuinely help me and when it seems like he does it's just a tease or something to manipulate me with to control me.

I have found that crying it out and just acknowledging your imperfection and acknowledging your despair is better than continuously trying to change someone's mind who just isn't going to budge. I guess I prefer embracing the idea of my humanity better. I think doing so has at least made me softer towards/more understanding of others.

Stop abiding the servile belief that tells you that this world is part of some good plan.

Trust your divine soul.

Remember anon, you cannot reach the father without The Son Jesus Christ because of our fallen state

>>40597454
Imagine if it was that grim.
I’m going to laugh

Suffering on earth and then on top of that you have to get a probabilistic manuscript scavenger hunt correct.

That would just cause people to disassociate, who would even want to be in the presence of such a god who goes against our Divine morality in the most grotesque way?

Pascal was a coward.

I will redeem Yahweh.
I do not cast any of my sons off forever.

>>40597349
No. They’ll just lock me up. They won’t help me win.
>>40597420
Its like God only cares about “saving” new souls. Once you’re “in” its like he stops giving a fuck. I’m no longer in despair though. I’m legitimately going to kill myself if I lose in court. I simply can’t take not being in my kids lives. I’m simply over the legal system believing her lies. I no longer care about anything. It’s cool. I win? I get some sort of visitation, I’ll “endure” the rest. I’ll play the games. I’ll go through the motions. But if I lose, that’s it. It’s over. I’m done. I’ve made up my mind. It was this aha moment. I was crying then the solution came to me. I have this calm in me now. I’m no longer sad. I’m not scared to die. The idea itself that once felt alien, feels right. Something broke in me. Imma go home and be with the one she aborted and live with him or her. I’ll be a dad to that kid. Maybe God will understand. Maybe he will just send me to hell. Either way, I’m really comfortable with the decision. It feels really good to have a plan like this. This isn’t a cry for help or anything. It’s the solution to my pain. I’m simply done.

>>40597526
A good ole' KJV is all an english speaking person needs. Anything else out there has been compromised with varying amounts of corruption that will lead you into error, unnecessary fear and possibly even hell if you are not saved already.

>>40597558
I've felt the cold certainty of the necessity of suicide as well. I always somehow beat it down and force myself to carry on. I'm not really sure why. I will say, if you do lose, that doesn't mean that you will never see your children again. Full costody isn't a restraining order. If what you say about your wife is true, your children will need a father as determined as you are to live with them or die. The decision of the courts is temporary. Your love for them is forever. You're more useful to your children alive than dead.

>>40597526
The scripture scavenger hunt is something that really annoys me. I identify as a Catholic, but purgatory is just such a stupid and obviously fake doctrine. I look to Orthodoxy which seems solid at a glance, but it's lauded monks contradict one another and tell obvious lies about miraculous occurrences and those sorts of things. I assume I don't have to explain what's wrong protestantism and the innumerable permutations of it that have arisen over the last few hundred years. It leaves me feeling as though there is some true version of Christianity that's in-between all of these things, but I'm not educated enough to say. It's a feeling I get, that it's uncanny. The priests are just saying things often, many spiritual fathers who should be authoritative are untrustworthy. Either being unthinkingly dogmatic or sensationalist for personal monetary gain and recognition. I swear, if I have to hear another Catholic priest tell me the world is ending I'm going to rip my ears off. I believe that God accounts for the ignorance of humanity and won't throw people who truly believe in him and try to do his will into hell for not being studied theologians who've unraveled the secrets of scripture. But it does annoy me that even the denomination I follow, which is seemingly the most correct, is not fully correct in many very obvious ways imo.

>>40596134 (OP)
God isn't real. Why spend your life wanting the approval of a fictional character?

>>40596174
Kill yourself first you pathetic projecting faggot.

>>40597606
Doubt it if they also believe her lies. I simply no longer care. I’m weak. The devil won. I simply can’t carry on anymore.

>>40597693
Have some faith in your own genetic material. It may take years, but bullshit stinks no matter who you are. It just depends on how long it will take them to identify the source of the smell.

Golly OP, God probably has all of your prayers heading straight to voicemail I’m sure. Your overly demanding sniveling half-hearted prayers ordering around are too trite and self-serving to take seriously. You don’t even believe in God, isnt that what you based your life off of?

>>40597778
Look man I'm not going to look down my nose at you or anything but you have to take your foot off the gas sometimes. Christians are allowed to be upset and have problems. If you were so serious as you pretend to be, you'd be wearing a habit and living a vow of some kind. If you were so serious, you wouldn't feel the need to jump to conclusions about the spiritual state of other struggling Christians. I'm not even an atheist or anything, you've just decided that I'm a crybaby and you know nothing about me. You probably have a steam library and have eaten fast food within the last two weeks. Neither of us are wearing a scapula here. Calm down.

Read Meister Eckhart, if you haven't. Perhaps start with 'Talks of Instruction'.

>>40597829
And now you’re a Christian
Explains a lot
All your assumptions about me are incorrect
ALL OF THEM

>>40598020
I've been a Christian you idiot. That's what this thread is about, my frustration with God. You would have noticed that if you weren't a navel gazing moron with the reading comprehension of a second grader.

>>40598223
Reading comprehension isn’t our problem
Your attitude is
Duh.
Every word I wrote in this thread of yours stands
Do yours???

>>40596134 (OP)
Yeah, yeah bitch, complain all you want. Suck it up and carry it, or don't. At least the void will hear you

>>40598375
>>40596134 (OP)

On a more compassionate note, if you're young or truly lost, just put more faith in yourself to overcome your problems. Clear a path for yourself, even if it means moving through thick forests. You'll find a stream, you'll find food, you'll find shelter. Give yourself the grace and time, do as much as you can to level up and of course never give up completely. We are all strong for having to endure this insanity of a human experience. I believe in you, and I'm sorry I was so brash. Truth is, I had tough peers and family and that really helped me long-term, as much as I hated it in the moment. They understood and had more foresight and faith in me than I did, and I am grateful for the brutality. All the best anon.

>>40597664
>God isn't real.
If only you knew anon...
It's not what you think it is.
Even if it's the last fleeting moment beforr your death, you will understand eventually.

This thread brings up a very pressing question. Why do we not see mass healings and miracles on a large scale? I know we can perform such things because the Bible says we can, so why can't we?
I am a Christian and Jesus saves.

>>40598425
Because that was for a sign to the jews when they were being offered the kingdom. After they rejected it the second time, all the ability christians had to perform miracles on command for public consumption ceased altogether.

>>40598425
>Why do we not see mass healings and miracles on a large scale?
Answer: Division and distortion
.
For example, it’s a distortion for Christians to think only their collective are capable of such feats and its division among the ranks of this group that nerfs their prayers. They don’t agree among themselves and even if they did, there exists a world of people outside their group who’s (contradicting spells) also nerf yours (and each others)

https://voca.ro/1cFu4i3HN2CN

>>40598442
What about the miracles performed by Paul? Others definitely do perform miracles I believe, even in our own time, just not on a wide scale at all.

>>40598503
Very long rant with seemingly not much of substance said that I can ascertain myself nonetheless I appreciate your time and Jesus does love you, always.

>>40598503
You sound male

>>40598566
And who else do you think was performing the miracles? It was the apostles and all the people who were saved and received the Holy Ghost.

>>40598583
That makes one of us

>>40598403
Oh yeah? And you've died to tell me this?

>>40598566
You’re ignorant and proud
Bad combo

>>40598721
The hope for you is that you won't have to understand. No, I have not died, I am here talking with you.

>>40598737
Won't have to die to understand*

>>40596134 (OP)
>>40596212
I envy you. I want this. This level of horrible certainty. I want God to scream in my face, show himself completely and drive me mad with it.

I can't stop doubting. I can't be angry, I can only be confused and afraid.

>>40598725
People like you always come here to say "haha your ignorant and I know more than you" and that only shows that you have a huge ego.
Humble yourself.

>>40599108
This has only happened to me because I've stuck my nose in things that humans aren't supposed to and made myself a huge problem for myself. I was trying to skirt God's rules for us and escape my fate. Now I'm back where I started, but worse. That's the only reason he's so present for me, he's basically tard wrangling me. Your confusion is good for you for reasons I won't go into because it would ruin the benefits of you being confused. Remember: curiosity is not listed as a virtue for a good reason. He's there. He'll talk to you if you need it. If not, you fumble around in the dark for your own good. That's what my experiences have taught me.

>>40599121
That’s your erroneous opinion
I provided knowledge but since it wasn’t fast food you sneered at it
I shouldn’t have to keep reminding you when one of you are projecting anymore
Please take that on as homework for yourselves

>>40596212
>But that isn't what I want or need right now.
It is for God to decide what you NEED right now, you cocky little turd. What YOU want and what God says you NEED very seldomly overlap in this life. Know your damn role and shut your damn mouth, jabrony

>>40599108
The evidence of God's grace is everywhere if you open your mind to seeing it.
>you ever just sit by a river and watch the bees fly by you?
>you ever dig a hole in the sand and burn some wood?
>you ever plant some potatoes in the ground and take care of them? Then eat them?
God did all those things, man. He let them happen. That's what's so beautiful. It's everywhere.
Or you can learn the hard way like I did, be stubborn, and start seeing demons in sleep paralysis (totally sober from all substances, mind you) and the only thing that stops the cold, empty fear that consumes you is calling to Jesus and seeing how instantaneous the results are (no other names hold power over demons. Not Buddha, not Muhammad, etc)

>>40597664
>God isn't real.
I've seen shit that would tear your psyche in half

>>40596134 (OP)
this is called gnosticism my friend

>>40599545

Lovecraftian shiz?

>>40596134 (OP)
What exactly are your struggles

>>40601164
He’s coming to grips with the reality of being a selfish, heartless bastard and doesn’t enjoy the feeling. He’s also severely brainwashed, which is unfortunate. Instead of being so concerned over suffering for “Gods” sake, he needs to begin taking a little more (a lot more) pride in himself. Problem is he doesn’t know how to do that so when he does try to develop a backbone, he comes off lashing like a petulant child. Time to breathe and time to allow and time for gratitude and living life (rather than waiting for something to happen) are crucial now. Probably why the image of the monk is subconsciously appealing to him now.
He’ll gain authentic pride back if he learns from that and look back remorsefully over how stupid he was when he was under the weight of all these suffocating illusions haunting him to the breaking point


TL:dr: OP needs to breathe

>>40601211
fuck off queer, shove that nonsense up your ass

>>40596134 (OP)
Jesus suffered immensely and we are no better than Him why do we deserve better?

>>40601250
>Petulance

>>40596134 (OP)
God is not real

>>40601468

*is real

>>40596134 (OP)
You need to release your attachments and kill your desires. It sounds like you may be the obsessive type, which goes hand in hand with internal entitlement. I don't mean that offensively or certainly, just a guess.
My advice is to put yourself in an overwhelming situation that takes you out of your abstract thought patterns and into base reality. Find a situation that makes you overwhelmingly uncomfortable and strand yourself in it. You want to be brought into utter hopelessness, and once there, learn to start being comfortable being uncomfortable. If it is the only way forward, you will, and you will rewire your brain and reforge your spirit. It is also there that you can release stubborn attachments, and desires. Slay desire in the realm of hopelessness, and you may then emerge with a new constitution.
Something to ponder is that things could always be better or worse, and so contentment does not demand any particular circumstances. What it demands is its own allowance regardless of your circumstance, should it manifest. My prior advice is the way to a permanent state of contentment. Break yourself down, and reforge yourseld. Then see if you are still so angry with God for this or that.

frankly, God does not exist. He exists if you think he exists. It's sort of like manifestation, people who whole-heartedly believe will obviously vouch for the existence, but as a former christian, i found an IMMENSE weight lifted from my shoulders once i stopped believing. My life became better, although possibly lonelier. Those who say you have no purpose without religion have clearly not seen the beauty of relations with other people and creation of the physical sense. Let go. Be free, be yourself.

>>40596134 (OP)
God isn’t a respector of persons, be grateful you get to live at all

>>40596636
>because suicide attempts cause the absolute worst NDEs.
I've read countless suicide attempts and their NDEs were pretty chill.

>>40599494
Well, the big jew can go fuck himself then

Try to make yourself cry, transmute the anger to sadness, you'll find that they're very close. Cry as much as you can, as long as you can, play the saddest music you can find to assist you get the tears out.

Afterwards, go to church, talk to a priest, go to liturgy, participate in holy communion, because God, divine healing is in the Eucharist. It's the best help I can think of, speaking from experience.

>>40596636
Heroin OD was chill af

>>40604444
Thanks

>>40604444
“Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession. For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.” (Hebrews 4:14-16)

“For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus; Who gave himself a ransom for all, to be testified in due time.” (1 Timothy 2:5-6)

>>40605299
Jesus is a Chandala he is without sin but so is the bald eagle

>>40596134 (OP)
I feel the same way anon. I cursed God many times. My father abandoned me before I was born, my mother is a Satanic witch who abuses me. Everyone is anti-White and abused me, even more "pro-White" Whites hurl verbal abuses and slander towards me. I cursed God and his name many times. He may never heal me now or fix my situation now. I don't even see how he can even if he wanted to. I may die of a tooth infection because my teeth are fucked up, I may die of ARFID because I'm not eating solid foods after all this abuse, I may go to Hell now, but at least I told God how I really feel. I told God off. I was true to myself and it feels good. I called Yahweh and Jesus Christ a demon. No one treats me like shit, no one treats me like a bitch. Does God think I'm his hoe he can beat and abuse? Fuck that kike. I probably belong to the Devil now, I don't want to be truly evil though. I'm not an evil person, yet God still abused me like his hoe, like he's my pimp and I shouldn't talk back to him or I get smacked. I hate God now, but I also hate the Devil. I'm surprised paranormal shit isn't happening in my house. God never answers my prayers. He thinks he is too good for me. The Devil actually does answer my prayers but he is evil and I don't want to worship him. Right now I'm finding it too hard to see the difference between the Devil and God.

>guy is having a rough time for a real reason
>thread floods with suffering olympics
genuinely awful, get off my board niggerz

>>40605313
Sorry, don't feel like looking up streetshitter jargon right now.

>>40605388
Your problem is is that you're identifying with the Jew god to begin with.
That is just a useful toy for the archons to manipulate and control you.
So you're not actually mad at God you're mad at an egregore.
What's being done to you is undeniably at the hands of truly vile and disgusting people that should have never been born. And this world is an imperfect creation. Human beings are imperfect. The spirits are imperfect. Why? Why is everything so imperfect here? People will argue against that but they have no real case. It's because the world in the universe that you currently inhabit was not created by a perfect God. This universe belongs to the Zoroastrian Ahriman and his dark elves who are posing as archons and have been for thousands of years.
The point is when you die your soul will leave this shithole behind and go and be with the real God. Not this phony and his weird stinky creations. The thing is they want to stop from doing that. They lie and say you are not worthy, they guilt trip you, they make a whole bunch of unnecessary rules that when you inevitably break them it justifies you being tortured and separated from God? See that's not going to work. For anyone. Not even God.
Because God is supposed to be perfect. They cannot lie. They cannot do wrong.
Except that's exactly what we're seeing here in this world, in this universe. It is evil. It is a disgusting, inferior creation.
Is that what God intended? The Bible says that this creation was perfect but it got hijacked and corrupted somehow. What kind of Jewish mental gymnastics have we found ourselves in?
It's all bullshit. You are in the kingdom of the dark elves. Everyone on Earth is.
They have stinky black souls. They're evil.
They want the power but they'll only see the consequences when it's too late. They'll never learn from their mistakes because that's a characteristic of the dark elves. The dark elves are ignorant and stupid and will defy all logic with their stupidity.

>>40605468
i'm not op but this checks out

>>40605468
Oh yeah and they're all going to hell. Even the people involved in torturing, Satanic sacrifice. They'll all be turned into goop. I'm the morning star.
I'm the dog.

>>40605468
The Bible says that this creation was perfect but it got hijacked and corrupted somehow.

It's not like this is a great mystery or something.

“Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned: (For until the law sin was in the world: but sin is not imputed when there is no law. Nevertheless death reigned from Adam to Moses, even over them that had not sinned after the similitude of Adam’s transgression, who is the figure of him that was to come. But not as the offence, so also is the free gift. For if through the offence of one many be dead, much more the grace of God, and the gift by grace, which is by one man, Jesus Christ, hath abounded unto many. And not as it was by one that sinned, so is the gift: for the judgment was by one to condemnation, but the free gift is of many offences unto justification. For if by one man’s offence death reigned by one; much more they which receive abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness shall reign in life by one, Jesus Christ.) Therefore as by the offence of one judgment came upon all men to condemnation; even so by the righteousness of one the free gift came upon all men unto justification of life. For as by one man’s disobedience many were made sinners, so by the obedience of one shall many be made righteous.” (Romans 5:12-19)

>>40605509
Sin is not real. What you are witnessing is a consequence of an unsanctioned creation. Your guilty verdict's getting flushed down the toilet along with your entire religion.
I'm not in support of the entrapment and extortion of humanity. We need to kill these machines, not barter with them.

>>40605529
“Fools make a mock at sin: but among the righteous there is favour.” (Proverbs 14:9)

>>40605497
>he needs to begin taking a little more (a lot more) pride in himself. Problem is he doesn’t know how to do that so when he does try to develop a backbone, he comes off lashing like a petulant child.

Take stock in the things you like about yourself and give the power fantasy a break in the meantime. It will be there waiting for you when you (need it)

>>40605541
This is the machine logic that is getting humanity nowhere.
Sin is not real. You cannot justify what you're doing to people.

>>40605544
Oh it's the petulant child guy again. You're a weirdo.
For anyone curious, just search 'petulant child's in the archives. This shill faggot has been patrolling the board calling anyone trying to liberate people from his mind virus a petulant child.

>>40605544
You're a Jesuit aren't you?

>>40605557
>>40605703
You don’t need to keep defining what petulance is by exemplifying the term in your responses, “Jesuit.”
I didn’t mean to get under your skin. I didn’t realize it was so easy. If feel accomplished if that had been my point.
Go drink yourself into oblivion

>>40603202
Fine, bitch. Get smacked by God. You'll learn one way or another. Trust me. I'm of Jacob. I'm as stubborn as they come. I was humbled. God can teach you the easy way or the hard way. Don't test the Big Man.

>>40599494
Lol what a cuck. God didn't want slaves, he created angles for that. Grow a fucking pair and stand up to him every now and again, like Job.

>>40605941
Job got humbled old country way you fucking jabrony

>>40605964
Job was also rewarded for not being a cuck and refusing the bend the knee until God personally showed him why he was wrong, while his friends were punished for worshiping for the sake of worshiping. So how about you stop bowing before the mighty just because they are mighty and grow a fucking backbone?

>>40605985
>while his friends were punished for worshiping for the sake of worshiping.

His friends were not punished; Job made intercesion for them on behalf of God precisely for that purpose:

“Therefore take unto you now seven bullocks and seven rams, and go to my servant Job, and offer up for yourselves a burnt offering; and my servant Job shall pray for you: for him will I accept: lest I deal with you after your folly, in that ye have not spoken of me the thing which is right, like my servant Job.” (Job 42:8)

And if anything, God was mad at them for running their mouths; nothing to do with worship.

“¶ And it was so, that after the Lord had spoken these words unto Job, the Lord said to Eliphaz the Temanite, My wrath is kindled against thee, and against thy two friends: for ye have not spoken of me the thing that is right, as my servant Job hath.” (Job 42:7)

>>40606039
He was mad at them because they were placing blame at Job's feet where as Job was placing it at Gods feet but you do you. One thing I've learnt through my years is that you can't argue in good faith with zealots.

>>40606084
"for ye have not spoken of me the thing that is right".

Not trying to be obtuse, but it's a bit more involved.

>>40596134 (OP)
>my cross is awful
Are you sure you aren’t just a dramatic little bitch

>>40606344
Either way u suck tho. In my case anyways. Because I already finished my work to the fullest and was good. For no good reason. Can u be happy? Now some people just want to wake up in a different dream where it’s more proper and real.