>>40887122 (OP)
give up.
You'll realize that you're not going to die, and things will take you to a better place, like magic. That's when you break out of the matrix.
Die.
this is the perfect timming.
look at guts
look at you
>>40887122 (OP)
Let go. Buddhism is a strong tool to have spiritually which can let you explore or let go when it gets too much. The 4 truths are all you really need and rather simple.
>>40887295
You have a weakness concerning the variation of time: >>40885080
...kinda must imply aggression is not a valid path for successful gender update magick