Thread 40895551

This can't be a healthy way to live. I need to figure out how to translate my hatred into something that doesn't make me feel like I'm shaving hours off of my life when having these thougts. Is that possible?

No I don't fap or look at nsfw stuff (since last Saturday). Yes my thing is small and no I won't troon out. Is it something in my blood or in the air or in my soul? What is my best bet, /x/? The love that I feel is dwarfed by the hate and I can feel it eating away at my vital essence

I also can't enjoy music anymore

I can't feel it anymore

go within. change the way you think. good luck, anon.

>>40895586
This is kinda vague advice, but thankscz

>>40895551 (OP)
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>>40895551 (OP)
i JUST watched this just now. guy seems planty as hell, but the content is worthwhile even though the person presenting it is fishy as hell.
the main topic here is "discovering your shadow side, reintegrate your shadow to become whole".
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBRkVNwVWL4

btw, this is something i know well in my own life, and know others with their own struggles with the exact same thing. when life dogpiles you with unbearable hardships and obstacles, blockades and gatekeepers, and "misfortune" prevents you from achieving what you innately feel is your birthright. you see your peers, even ones with inferior skills and lamer minds, charge on full speed ahead. deep inside you know your skills, power, and mind are greater than theirs. they too are still on their own journeys, but they get the shiny prize while you get dog turds.
but that's because you need to go through the Labyrinth. which in some special cases, is reflected in astonishingly convoluted physical bodily injuries... iykyk.

>>40895551 (OP)
Find a ketamine clinic. Get an IV infusion. Your brain will reset like a computer, it's absolutely wild. Time felt like it came to a standstill and over the 45 minute infusion, my brain finally processed and catalogued the last 9 year's of my life; and I went through a *TON* of crazy shit, so thats saying something.

It's literally the only thing that truly fixed my depression. It's been 4.5 years and I'm still 100% depression/anxiety/resentment free.

>>40895551 (OP)
but also be advised, and this is nasty foul bitter medicine, but sometimes to get the gold nugget, you are required to cough up the dough to make the purchase. the "dough" here being your misery, your anger, depression, defeat, ugly feelings, resentment, wrath, dark revenge fantasies, frustration. all the unfun toil. the loosh. loosh is the currency of earth. earth is an evil place, and therefore the natural rulers of earth and forces of evil are in their element and their power is exalted.
because earth is evil. like a lava dragon is at his most powerful in a volcano, like leviathan is most powerful in the depths of the ocean. all the light comes from the sky, after all. well, make what you will of lightbulbs and the "prometheus lightbulb company" thing.
but when you've paid enough Misery Tokens (tm), you receive the gold nugget. was it worth it? well you get the gold. how many people get that?
they won't understand. unless someone's gone through the shit, the wringer, and lived it firsthand and knows from their own experiences what it's like, they're just not going to get it. it's necessary to use unassuming, boring terms and act nonchalant and shrug it off when dealing with people who just aren't going to get it. it's way beyond anything they know.

>>40896693
So you’re saying I’ll become a jewish billionaire?

>>40895551 (OP)
consider the oyster. some say they're not entirely of the animal persuasion, but only partially animal, the rest being... something else (DYOR).
like the mouth of a snake, oysters oddly resemble vaginas. hmm, how peculiar. reoccurring patterns that don't make sense according to the dogma school pushes, but make sense in a profoundly simplistic archetypical way that a 5 year old could point out.
- btw, look up "copulins" and see what the connection between those and snakes are. but do your own thinking here, there's no resource that'll spill out the answers for you. you must ask yourself what do you see.
when you see a pearl irl, it has a glow, an aura, a corona. the radiance around a pearl is like nothing else, it's special to that object. pearls come with a price. the oyster must be horribly agitated and she tries to cover up the pain, the obnoxious nuisance, the blight, with something beautiful and enduring. she can't get rid of the sand, so she modifies it.
artificially shaped pearls are made in a way that truly aggravates the poor oyster. but that technologically induced mega-suffering, violated into her by entities far beyond her understanding, all the while she has no idea that she's in a farm instead of a beach, it makes interesting shapes.
how much does the oyster truly understand? who knows. maybe she died happy that she made something to be proud of, as much as such a simple creature can think. who thinks of her life when her corpse is discarded? well she left her legacy. she created something beautiful that lives far, far longer than her mortal life.

>>40896848
open up the hangar, airplane comin in.
vreeeooowwwww

>>40895551 (OP)
I have anger and hatred problems too
Last night I tried meditating for 15 minutes to see if that helped. I guess it did, idk, it kinda redirected my mind to think about more important things than all my anger and hatred, but I think the goal is to reach a state of stillness where you're not consumed by thoughts and emotions.
My goal is to know myself, and I am not my emotions, I am not my memories, I am not my thoughts or my ego, I am my consciousness. If you think of your consciousness as a sky, then all the clouds passing by are your thoughts, emotions, ego, etc.
Maybe meditation will help you, OP. I was always skeptical of meditation and thought it was some eastern mysticism bull crap and new age hippie bull crap, but it's worth a shot to not have to deal with my mind or emotions anymore

just out of curiosity OP, what's your most memorable media from your formative years? could be a toy, book, movie - something manmade, that really stuck with you, permanently ingrained into you, something you carry in your heart?
if you feel like answering this one; any events from your life you feel like sharing, that deeply impacted you in some way?

>>40896849
one might say "copulins are relevant to vipers, but what about constrictors?"
to that i say: how about the act of bondage, weirdly intense eye contact, hypnotic speech, and mind control.
do we know anyone irl that makes really weird intense eye contact and talks in some weird pattern and cadence?

>>40895551 (OP)
do you know the source of the hate?
what do you hate?

>>40895551 (OP)
i know its gay jewish hollywood but remember that what you're experiencing is pretty much this, they love to flip everything as a cope but they are not indie lmao.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=A0TalLrtZ24
they're going to suffer forever, they're choosing to be able to make others suffer, and to have all their ugly rich knick knacks and garbage here, over eternal life.
the point of them making you angry is to satisfy their greed, to tempt you to make the same choice they have, and to make you ungrateful for what you're blessed with
express and nurture that gratitude, to God, for what you're blessed with. you should be grateful for every day. love God, your family and your friends.
love DOES dwarf what you're feeling. which isn't actually hatred btw. it's just an overinflation of your natural response to kikery. they hate, not you. you love, you ""hate"" them because of what they do, which really means you love what they destroy, and that moves you against them, out of love for that precious thing. your love is hatred to them, because they don't have or understand love. they literally don't get why you act to defend the things you love, especially if they have all the odds set against you when you do it.

>>40897208
>love DOES dwarf what you're feeling. which isn't actually hatred btw. it's just an overinflation of your natural response to kikery. they hate, not you. you love, you ""hate"" them because of what they do, which really means you love what they destroy, and that moves you against them, out of love for that precious thing. your love is hatred to them, because they don't have or understand love. they literally don't get why you act to defend the things you love, especially if they have all the odds set against you when you do it.
super excellent point. it's something i've recently been learnING, but keep forgetting, have to be reminded.
>they're the ones who hate
>we're the ones who love
>they're full of misery and spite
>we're full of passion and joy
but you know what they say about wallowing in shit, you get some on you. but be like the lotus that grows over the sewage without its blossom touching the filth. a candle over the water.

how often?

>>40895551 (OP)
Get off social media, 4chan especially.
This site is utterly infested by bots and agents paid to keep users as angry and miserable as possible.

n

>>40895551 (OP)
How you feel is literally a choice of perspective from moment to moment. There are people that have lived worse lives than you and turned out wholesome, not self-obsessed and not a faggot. You will never get respect from anyone until you cultivate self-control. There's no secret method. You're just lazy and pathetic. I don't really care if that helps or not. :) Hope you off yourself.

give dhama sukha forgiveness meditation a try
I think you are gonna have a though time, but maybe it will work out if you practice long enough

The hate come from normies and boomers around you, they won´t tell you but they spend their whole life hating others.
The hate come from the leviatan, its created by normies and boomers, they think all day long and its create mass shooting and crimes