How do I achieve beauty via occult?
I know this post will come off as being trollish or even juvenile but I assure, I am dead serious.
I have body dysmorphia. Intense body dysmorphia. Every day is a humilaition ritual and every second is a death sentence. I'm not extremely ugly. I'm just mediocre. I hate society. This world never felt like it belonged to me. This isn't an incel rant (not even one, I have dated in the past) but I hate being at the barrel of the bottom. I hate it and I hate the fact it's because of things I can't even control. My stature, my flesh, my face. I hate everything.
I don't want to be beautiful so I can be another one of those tiktok pretty boys or get pussy. Fuck no. I want beauty so I can be an anarch. A fucking menace. There's nothing more beautiful than destruction combined with beauty. Anarchy with aesthetics. But this is so childish and laughable, you'll say. It is. But then I ask you; isn't existence childish and laughable too? I don't want to be an obedient KEKY. I don't want to be one.
And in exchange of beauty, such beauty that would alter my physiology, I'm ready to shake hands with any fucking deity. I'm ready to pay any fee, that is deemed necessary. My soul? Sure. Some kids blood every month? Sure. Some ancient curse? No worries.
I refuse to believe there doesn't exist some deity/force which won't help me in that regards. Please help a peasant like me. Any advice would be very much welcome.
I have body dysmorphia. Intense body dysmorphia. Every day is a humilaition ritual and every second is a death sentence. I'm not extremely ugly. I'm just mediocre. I hate society. This world never felt like it belonged to me. This isn't an incel rant (not even one, I have dated in the past) but I hate being at the barrel of the bottom. I hate it and I hate the fact it's because of things I can't even control. My stature, my flesh, my face. I hate everything.
I don't want to be beautiful so I can be another one of those tiktok pretty boys or get pussy. Fuck no. I want beauty so I can be an anarch. A fucking menace. There's nothing more beautiful than destruction combined with beauty. Anarchy with aesthetics. But this is so childish and laughable, you'll say. It is. But then I ask you; isn't existence childish and laughable too? I don't want to be an obedient KEKY. I don't want to be one.
And in exchange of beauty, such beauty that would alter my physiology, I'm ready to shake hands with any fucking deity. I'm ready to pay any fee, that is deemed necessary. My soul? Sure. Some kids blood every month? Sure. Some ancient curse? No worries.
I refuse to believe there doesn't exist some deity/force which won't help me in that regards. Please help a peasant like me. Any advice would be very much welcome.
