>>40939584 (OP)
Unless you focused on it as a child and held onto it, you need to just wait until the next instance around and apply yourself better next time.
Since you committed to a human life, which contains your own choices and flaws that affected yourself and or others, you can't just run away from it.
If you truly freed yourself you would either not exist here. Or, you'd be spazzing in your shitty dwelling either talking with whatever shitty manifested creature likes you, or you are focusing on some third eye shit.
Personally it's not worth it until you are sick of existing here. I choose to forget and only my instincts basically remember the bland shit that warns me to not fuck around and find out unless I want a pallet cleanser to completely break any semblance of flawed consistency, we all experience here right now.
>Congratulations anon, you have taken what the kids would call a "red pill". You are now allowed to associate with whatever god forsaken sect you want. But don't look at us for help, you have lost humanity privileges and if you want to do more than simply exist to your own knowledge you have to create your own fucking soul and eventually settle for whatever is "good enough" because focusing on what made your sentience feel "alive" will make you more and more homesick.
>>40939725
>How I did it was I mastered zen no mind to the point where I could shut off my feelings
Take your clozapine and go to sleep.