>>41259427 (OP)
More hot women in leggings who stare at me and smile.
More synchronicities everywhere, every day.
More feelings of sorrow and despair and terrible pain. The ulcer that crusts inside the opening doesn't help.
I'm visibly losing weight in places and was hungry for the first time in 3 years today... but looking around me, everybody's noticeably losing weight... including in the good bits.
More families and friends everywhere around me, except that they're not my family or my friends, they're people hanging out together.
"Everybody's moving on but me, everybody's moving on I can't see, what is the point of living so fast, how do they run with their head up their ass, everybody's moving on but me*
I'm crying almost every day with sentiments like "I'm not allowed to do anything", "I'm not allowed to have purpose", "I'm in a prison", but I'm not generating them and I can't shut them the fuck up.
Another thing.
I do a shitload of divining and communing with the benevolent gods.
Years of "We're on our way" has been replaced with "We're inside."