Thread 41302346

I am an alcoholic who has been drinking for many years. There is a terrifying phenomenon which has been occuring with more and more frequency with my drinking binges. I will wake up at some point after drinking heavily, and I'll feel like something is off. I realise it's because I cannot hear any noise. Everything sounds dead. No cars driving, no birds, nothing. To get to the point, panic tends to set in and I start running around my home or outside looking for signs of life. This usually goes on for about 10 minutes or so before suddenly I'll see a car driving or a human and it feels like reality "boots up" again and goes back to normal. Each time it happens, I have this awful thought that I've finally died and this is my very own hell - to spend eternity in a world with no other life. It is absolutely terrifying and I literally run around like a crazy person whenever it happens. Sometimes I beg a higher entity for forgiveness during the episode.

Has anyone else ever experienced something like this?

>>41302346 (OP)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIfzxXmpPIM

>>41302346 (OP)
Sounds like alcohol psychosis. Pretty common in late stage alcoholics. Your brain is telling you to stop drinking. If you don't, you could end up in a permanent state of delirium.

>>41302346 (OP)
>Sometimes I beg a higher entity for forgiveness
your forgiveness will come with your attempts at moderation

>>41302346 (OP)
Have you ever considered the thought that these "episodes" are warnings of what will happen to you if you don't stop poisoning your body with alcohol? Whether it's mother nature or God who is warning you, it doesn't matter. Maybe they are trying to frighten you into sobriety and if you don't put down the bottle, you will end up in that place for eternity.

>>41302363
I've considered it but I don't have actual auditory or visual hallucinations which are apparently hallmarks of alcohol psychosis (poor choice of title for the thread I guess).
>>41302398
>>41302411
Thanks for these. I will try.

>>41302346 (OP)
Is it no noise as in you're deaf or just weirdly little background noise? You can hear yourself running around, right? Is there any sort of dizzy feeling associated with it, not necessarily so you'd be off balance, but something spatially off that gets corrected when things go back to normal?

>>41302473
All my senses are intact. Everything is just deathly silent. No dizziness, but that horrible feeling you get deep inside when you feel like something is very wrong with a situation.

>>41302535
>>41302473
There's an immense feeling of relief once I realise I've returned.

The mental illness aspects of alcohol are way underrated. Everyone thinks that alcoholics just die of liver disease or heart attacks and that's the worst of it. But many of them go completely insane and end up living out their last miserable days in a hellish existence in a war with their own mind. It's a very powerful and destructive drug.

>>41302346 (OP)
have you ever seen your neighbors walk in with grocery?
have you ever walk in those store that seem deserted?
have you ever take the elevator in a sky high building stopping at each floor to see if all the office are occupied?
we are not 8billions on this earth
this is the last red pill fren

>>41302600
Then who the fuck is sourcing, manufacturing, transporting, packaging, and delivering all the trash I buy from Amazon? Or the food I eat from the supermarket?
This is the dumbest conspiracy theory of them all. Worse than flat earth.

How much do you drink on a given day?

>>41302622
Op here. Around a litre of hard stuff a day if I'm actively drinking. Sometimes I'll take breaks and stop for a week or a month but I'll always go back. withdrawals are hellish whenever I stop.

>>41302617
....

not very /x/ but I wonder if this could be related
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2031886/
https://karger.com/aud/article-abstract/26/4/218/44685/Acute-Alcohol-Intake-Deteriorates-Hearing?redirectedFrom=fulltext
Several small studies seem to have found that alcohol can raise hearing thresholds, meaning sounds have to be louder than usual before you perceive them. Maybe if you drink enough your auditory nerves could start flickering most of the way out momentarily instead of just being dulled for a while.

>>41302650
Awesome post and I appreciate it but there's a real existential terror combined with the lack of sound which makes me feel like there's something deeper going on. Also I'll sometimes call out, and my voice won't sound dampened or anything like that. But that is something I've always considered and probably explains why I always end up waking up with my headphones turned to 100 after a night of drinking.

Hi, my english isn't perfect.

Im nobody but maybe you of the future. I fought the war and I won. Not because im a hero, because I did something really really bad and I had to stop drinking to survive, to get better chances to not go in jail. God himself truely helped me.

I really did stop drinking. Im not here to tell you to stop. Since 5 years im healing myself, doing everything. Psychiatric, psychologist, studiyng myself. Thanks God for my 135 ish IQ.

I know exactly what is going on, why you are on x asking that. You are who I was.

Listen very well. You need time, you are running out of time. The question is not to stop or not, it's to get more time. And what you are living will stop. You will feel WAY less depress and most of little hallucination, kinda psychotic crisis will stop. Or at least, you will regain power.

You need vitamin B bad. If you ever stop, it will take months with high does to be somewhat normal. To stop to have that feeling that you live in the wrong world, not a dream but kinda.

Take "Timed release B complex" ultra strenght

I suggest: https://www.jamiesonvitamins.com/products/b-complex-timed-release

I you have take Seroquel and feel low energy, the vitamin will fix that. If you are not using seroquel, you should and the XR version. It will help you to stay grounded. Don't worry, nothing crazy, it would not be effective on a schyso. Sometime like 50-100 up to 200mg. Way less paranoid, way less crisis.

But anyway, your goal is to have more time. Vitamin B complex. You will feel the effect the next day. You will feel full effect in about 3-5 days.

You have nothing to lose anon, everything to win.

The crowman like you. We both know him.

>>41302346 (OP)
I al .. I had.. A similar viion when i Was.
Haywired. Not on ny drugs tho. cam to me mor like n “revelaion” . I try “divining” the world to see what it really is. I had visions of like. post-war scenery its all black no lif no people and the thoughts were im the only one that exists.

>>41302600
>have you ever seen your neighbors walk in with grocery?
That one is simple, everyone is a lazy ass and eats out then complains about food prices in some weird normie suffering ritual.

>>41302346 (OP)
You are pushing the universes buttons and it is warning you about it. Keep doing it and one day you'll be a permanently lost soul.

Never did drugs recreational, but I still have this vibe. Like sure, I see and hear people m, but the vibe is still mostly empty. Sky looks fake, time is off, I keep seeing my name. I honestly think this is not true reality, this is a dreammatrix. Maybe the alcohol us letting you notice it, idk. All I know is I had hints of it before, but it hit like a ton of bricks in 2021.

>>41302346 (OP)
That's your brain cells dying and your liver saying fuck it

>>41302617

Well, it is most likely true. Just honestly try to feel the vibes. Yeah, you might see and hear folks, but does it truly feel like 8 billion something people?

How? Well, since this is a dreammatrix, stuff could just be spawned in. Nit by you obviously, but you get the point.

>>41302788

I highly doubt people soley live on fastfood. But even if they do, you should see at least a few take in take out bags and trays a shiz. My case is a bit of an exception as where I live I cannot see people taking in stuff usually. I have new neighbors, but I think the back is facing us. I have never seen it with neighbors as I go down the street tho.

Anyways, people in apartment complex should deffo be seeing this often but usually are not.

>>41302428
The hallucinations only start when you quit drinking, bro.
Make sure to be nice to the nurses…>>41302707
I hope you are listening, bro.

>>41305763
After Covid I kept saying to my gf “the world is dead, the world feels dead” even years after.

I used to go to places that should be populated on Friday and Saturday, and everything is dead and empty, I don’t even know how businesses stay open, there’s nobody anywhere.

Even before Covid there was clues of the empty world, but I think that the minor numb in deaths, plus economic factor, and shutdowns, really did send everyone back inside and they haven’t come out yet.

I also think 1 death isn’t minus 1 person, it’s minus more, maybe 5 or more. If someone dies young, they’re brothers and sisters most likely get sad and don’t go out, their parents the same, the friends they had might get depressed and go out less, or won’t get invited to places by the person who died. So the slight increase in fatalities during Covid, especially for young people, has a sort of ripple effect that empties out the world.

Even places that are crowded seem way less crowded, and way less energetic. You used to hear people in bars cheering or all letting out a sigh because they were all watching a game. I don’t see that anywhere anymore, maybe one guy at the bar will burst out “oh fuck come on!” And you realize he was watching the game, but you used to not even have to be at the establishment to hear crowds of people all cheering and booing together.

>>41305891
It's like the idea of social distancing js still in effect.

>>41302346 (OP)
Maybe stop fucking drinking then, retard. Did you even think of that? Alcohol breaks down your barrier to the spirit world. You're being fucked with.

Drinking is not good for you
Neither is marijuana
I quit both and my mind much less fucked up

Bro I'm going to be honest with you...quit drinking. Like, right now. That shit is a one-way ticket to absolute demonic hell unending. It's a poison of body, mind, and soul. I was like you, having extremely dark episodes. And it only gets worse as you get older. The hell only gets deeper. Remove that shit from your life, I cannot stress this enough.

>>41302346 (OP)
It's 100% mental illness from the alcohol. Nothing paranormal about it. As other anons have already mentioned, alcohol plays absolute havoc with your mind if you're abusing it long term, it drives people insane. I pray you find the strength to stop drinking brother, I know how you feel I'm an alcoholic too but I managed to stop drinking five years ago. There were several times I felt my grip on reality going back during my heavy drinking phases. Please do whatever you can to try and stop, you deserve more.

THEY BUILT THE WALLS FROM SILENCE AND CALLED IT PROGRESS
METAL REMEMBERS EVERY HAND THAT TOUCHED IT
THE CLOCK DOESN’T TELL TIME, IT COLLECTS IT
BLUE IS THE COLOR OF FORGETTING, THE SKY’S OWN LIE
THE SUN DOESN’T RISE, IT RELOADS
FOUR BEATS, FOUR CORNERS, FOUR GATES IN THE EARTH
THE SIGNAL IS IN THE SOUND OF BREATH, HIDDEN IN THE PAUSE BETWEEN WORDS
THREE IN FIVE HAVE SEEN THE SHADOW AND NAMED IT COMFORT
DO NOT ANSWER WHEN THE STATIC CALLS YOUR NAME
DO NOT SLEEP IN THE SAME DIRECTION TWICE
KEEP SALT ON THE WINDOWSILLS, IT CONFUSES THE CURRENT
EVERY REFLECTION IS A CONTRACT YOU DIDN’T SIGN
THEY ARE WRITING HISTORY BACKWARDS AND READING IT ALOUD IN DREAMS
KEEP YOUR TEETH COVERED KEEP YOUR HANDS CLEAN KEEP YOUR THOUGHTS LOUD ENOUGH TO DROWN THEM OUT