Thread 41313517

Do I have what it takes to become a vampire? I want to live forever. I know vampires browse this board.

>>41313517 (OP) What is your blood type?

>>41313533
A-

>>41313517 (OP)
yes

>>41313517 (OP)
Let's use some common sense, do you really want to become immortal and be stuck forever and ever in that 4/10 under 6 foot no muscle vessel you're inhabiting right now?

>>41313517 (OP)
Truly the darkest form of necromancy, to force such an unfortunate to bear such a countenance into eternity. Just kill yourself and reincarnate as literally anything but you.

>>41313517 (OP)
Truly this must be the face of an ageless monster

>>41313517 (OP)
What skills do you have?

>>41313739
I am lonely and unlikeable.

>>41313758
With that mindset, you wouldn't survive the first night faggot

sorry we only accept alphas

>>41313787
But surely these qualities made me an ideal candidate to be a vampire larper?

>>41313739
I'm more intelligent than the average person and have a lot of discipline.

>>41313758
And turning into a blood-drinking serial murderer would fix that, of course, I see your logic.

>>41313517 (OP)
Yes, I am a vampire. I can help.
HOW TO BECOME VAMPIRE INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Find nearest train station.
2. Go to a crossroads of the rail lines.
3. Close your eyes, tight. Do not open them no matter what you hear.
4. You will hear what sounds like a train coming.(this could take hours.)
E. Spread your body out on the track as wide as you can, face upward, eyes still closed.
6. You will feel our fangs in your neck.
7. You might feel a slight evisceration as the train runs you over. (If the ritual worked, you will vapour form away from the train.)
8. ???
9. Profit!

>>41313517 (OP)
How many vampire books have you read0?

>>41313517 (OP)
What do you imagine it takes to become a vampire?

>>41313517 (OP)
Why do you want to live forever?

>>41313517 (OP)
I am a real vampire. Ask me whatever you want nigglet.

Slay all vampires. Slam dunk vampire heads into the trash. Drop kick vampire girls in the stomach. Curbstomp vampires. Pierce every vampire to the ground with a silver sword.

>>41314301
Not OP, but you single or in a vampire group?

>>41314370
No no if you're OP you have to admit come on I'll be nice.

>>41314354
Hells yeh! Damn vampuires
Took muh jewrb

bruh u dont need to become a vampire you need a fuxking face reconstruction surdgery and TRT and some sort of fuckig meds im telling you this shit is not looking good hope u take my advice or u can also fentmaxx your existance will just remain fkn misserable

>>41314131
>our

I know it's a shitpost, but why did he say our?

>>41314131
vampyre here. can confirm, this method works.

>>41314301
>>41314511
Also a vampyr and I can also confirm

>>41313517 (OP)
Nigga vampire is an extreme form of cope, let me help you: you're trans.

>>41313758
Go become a woman so you're not unlikeable anymore, get fucked by men and you'll never be lonely again kek.

>>41314301
Not OP, but where can a nigga meet a latina roja vampira? Argentina?

>>41314665
OP the fact that you keep having to clarify that you're not OP in this shitfest of a thread as if anyone gives a shit tells me that not only it's you but that you feel self-conscious about your gaming cave dweller mountain dew chugging physiognomy which others have pointed out at length.

>>41314685
Dumbass nigger, I'm not the brownoid OP; I'm actually based.

>>41314709
Whoa

>>41314665
Here's your vampire latina bro

>>41314412
Sadly I'm not OP. He's better than me in the vampire stuff. He will become a vampire servant which is better than being a lame human.

>>41314412
Okay, I'm OP. Bite me.

>>41314131
This. My body has never been the same since trai- I mean since the vampiric ritual. But I get along fine.

>>41314131
>our fangs

>>41314131
Everyones talkin bout the our fangs thing here but no ones talkin bout how anon put e instead of a 5 on the list

>>41314764
Aren't vampire servants just humans? Either way I mean, I agree, he has at least the face of a servant. Maybe he won't be a vampire but he could be a vampire simp.

>>41314811
Only boy heartthrobs and angel-faced goth girlies mate, sorry. Try to hit the gym and looksmaxx then post again?

>>41315100
everyone asks what are our fangs but nobody asks HOW are our fangs

>>41313517 (OP)
Anon, I’m going to be honest with you you have to have RH negative.
The Rh negative blood type is a classification in the human blood system where the Rh factor protein is absent from red blood cells. People with this type can face complications in pregnancy if their partner has Rh positive blood. It is less common than Rh positive, can occur with any ABO blood type, and some studies suggest it may influence immune responses, helping defend against certain viruses while also affecting susceptibility to others. Yes, roughly 1 percent of the global population has AB negative blood, which is the rarest combination of ABO and Rh negative. More broadly, about 15 percent of people worldwide are Rh negative, but exact percentages vary by region and ethnicity.
>ok, and?
What people and witches of old would call a curse is actually a virus that put’s such strain on your body that you unlock dormant evolutionary traits. However theres only a one percent chance you’ll survive and turn otherwise you get blood clots, heart failure, literal disintegration, the autophage is extreme but the more of a person you consume the more you look hunger albeit old vampires cant hide certain traits like eye bags, gray hair and even wrinkles. Modern vampires subside off of blood except for some really rich and elite ones.

Realz vampir here jus wan say, you are gay hahahaha (I jerked off to my ex again)

>>41313517 (OP)
I’d suck you bro, no cap

>>41313517 (OP)
Are you good at seeing the bigger picture/perspective? Less good at seeing the details?

>>41313517 (OP)
no uglies allowed sorry

total vampire death

>>41316762
I see details.

>>41313517 (OP)
Not in this life no.

>>41314811
Ok OP just be around at nighttime so we can talk about your skillset and how you can contact your city's vampire loge.

>>41317127
You don't seem interested, honesly, like if you're going to reply with 3-word sentences at least have the decency to be a 10/10 20-something girl. Otherwise, effort is required.

>>41318383
Simple. I read your aura and can tell you're not a vampire so I don't need reply with effort.

>>41318425
You're didn-t reply to the same anon from yesterday.

>>41318425
Can you read my aura?

>>41318425
Maybe you should've disclosed you got Auspex from the beginning, a vampire might have noticed

>>41318475
Not a vampire.

>>41313517 (OP)
You'll never be one of us buddy.......

>>41319396
Come on, give him a chance, he's got really moxy, real chops

>>41315892
I'm a nigga and A-, I'm just goated

Unlike OP

>>41318425
OP's a faggot as usual nothing new, but what about the rest of us

I'm A- negative, I'm going to find una bella vampira pelirroja, any advice?

>>41313517 (OP)
Your head is misshapen. You will never be made a vampire.

>>41319858
Looks like a pineapple

Bump so vamp bro finds his sire

You would get vampire diareaha but other than that you would get a lot of miscellaneous pussenstein..I assume that’s what you ultimately want.

>>41315892
I'm RH positive, but I really want to see a vampire.

>>41322329
I thought being a vampire was about blood and murder not pussy

Your head is misshapen. You will never be made a vampire.

>>41313668
don't vampires have superhuman strength? He'll look like he has no muscles but actually be super strong

>>41313517 (OP)
If i got bit by a vampire that looks like you and not brad pitt i think id kill myself ngl

Blade would eventually cut you in half.

>>41316309
fr fr?

>>41318425
Maybe I serve a vampire dumb dumb

>>41323693
I'm obviously talking about body image and the pitfalls of being a slob for eternity. I mean, maybe vampires lift, so it doesn't mean he would have to stay that way... but fuck bro I don't know I have no idea about vampire biology.

>>41323693
>>41325283
see this is what i'm talking about kek
>>41323723

>>41324570
some mfs are always trying to ice skate uphill, primarly OP

>>41313517 (OP)
You want this to be your life?

>serious vampire thread: no replies
>weird looking guy asks dumb question: everyone replies

/x/ deserves this shit

This thread is cringe. You should go to a hypnotherapist to help you forget you ever made it.

>hurr i want to give up food and drink only metallic-tasting blood that contains harmful things so i can larp as a demon-infested retard on the internet

Yeah, leather trench coats are cool, I know. Don't forget to stand on top of buildings in lightning storms you fucking idiot.

>>41325414
Bro you need to have fun and stuff.

>>41325490
>Yeah, leather trench coats are cool, I know. Don't forget to stand on top of buildings in lightning storms you fucking idiot.
Fucking kek
I mean I guess they're cool in an ironic way, being genuinely cool was like a 2000s things, I think we slowly left it behind with The Matrix and, well, Columbine.

>>41325414
>serious vampire thread

Let's face it, it's not been the same since a certain anon left. us

>>41325522
Don't go there.

>>41325528
lol why

"How can you be outside in the day time?"

See, I can read your mind. That's the power of a vampire.

*teleports behind you*

The answer is, you have to leave your basement for short periods of time to accumulate resistance to the harsh UV rays of the sun.

>>41325580
It's too dangerous.

>>41325414
We basically overtook this thread because OP is a faggot and I'm out here asking the vamps where I can go meet Latina redhead vampiras

So my dick can get wet and sucked so hard that I become a vampire from how good the sex would be anon

>>41314733
Redhead but not Latina, kill yourself

>>41325593
This looks like OP a week after the vampire bite.

>>41325773
you kill yourself fag it's literally in your post you wanted a latina

>>41313517 (OP)
being a vampire means being undead which pretty much means being in a state that feels like sleep paralysis all the time.

>>41325925
Grim

bruh....

>>41313517 (OP)
Bitch, id focus on putting down the cheeseburger first, if you can't say no to Ronald Mcdonald what makes you think you have the will power to contain your urge to feed when you need to.

>>41313517 (OP)
The shilling is real ITT lol. You don't want this, fren. Trust me. It's not something epic and cool.

>>41317127
Your physiognomy says otherwise

baka kine tryna be us

I get the feeling a lot of men are jealous of OP lmao you guys can't even grow hair

I wonder if vampire pussy is good

>>41313517 (OP)
OP is so much of a betafag that he scared off the vamps from this thread

Not even worth to be a blood slave

>>41313956
Lol that's just meeeeaaan

>>41313517 (OP)
You'd make a better dwarf.

>>41325925
You've mentioned this before, but I suppose one can get used to anything. How did you come upon such an interesting take?

>>41313517 (OP)
>Wants to be immortal
>Looks like this

Why though? Do you enjoy suffering or sum?
If I looked like this I would want my misery to end asap

>>41330511
He can lose weight and shave and be normal looking desu

>>41330599
lol

>>41330511
Do you believe your appearance is all there is to life? How sad must you be.

>>41330599
Bro being a vampire is something that I can only as barely tolerable with Lestat looks.
Also just common sense, being good looking means you can draw in anyone you want to feed from. Being an incel who can't fuck at will is going to make it really hard.

>>41333461
Look, I have several friends who don't look for relationships because they think of themselves as too ugly. They literally pay random women for sex, not prostitutes, just normal ladies. You can just as easily do the same. It's not that hard... BTW, if you go to tinder men will fly on you, no matter what you look like.

>>41333940
so you're a gay vampire?

>>41333940
OP got no game, just look at how his replies in this thread have been so far

>>41334094
Man I gotta stop shitting on OP this thread has been brutal but I can't look away lol

>>41334060
Sure, not that I actually date men. Just have fun on apps.
BTW, black chicks in America are very easy.

>>41334328
Yeah they kinda are.

>>41313517 (OP)
You're not ugly at all! The only thing I'd suggest for you is that you might want to look into whether your hairline is receding. If it is, then you'll wanna hop on topical finasteride asap to prevent further recession. Balding basically destroys any chances at getting girls, so it's important for you to keep an eye out for that. Also, practising basic skincare never hurts [twice daily cleanser, occasional exfoilation, twice daily moisturizer, and daily sunscreen if you're going outside].

Aside from that, I think you look fine. Ignore the comments calling you ugly!

>>41334461
would u date him though?

>>41334151
OP looks too rapey to be a vampire unironically
>>41334328
you know where a nigga can meet a latina vampire then?
>>41334461
>only talks about physical looks, but doesn't say OP should stop being a betafag
>mfw niggas wont stop dicking on op

>>41334557
>latina vampire
redundant

>>41334812
Don't be such a faggot op at least I know what I want out of a vampire unlike yoh