Thread 41388905

Why even live?

What keeps you going?

For me it's literally this board and the subject matter of personal liberation/enlightenment, what ever form that takes; and the notion that there is something, somewhere, that is greater than "this". ("The big 'so what'" as Woody Allen joked).

I will admit it has not necessarily got easier, but without exploration of these topics I would literally go insane. This is like crack for me so thank you all very much and I wish you all well.

Funny you should ask that.

That is quite literally also what keep me going and ive been at it since my teenage years. But I'd go a little further and say that that the subject of liberation and enlightenment is but a preface to finding what you want to accomplish while alive in this slave planet, kind of like searching your "why" that will walk you through any "how" in a nietszchean sense.

Jesus Christ, is my Lord and Saviour. That's why I live, that's why I keep going. 3eyesatlast, 3 is 1, 1 is 3. The Holy Trinity. We made it to november, obviously it's not a nothing burger, because that means Jesus Christ has returned.

Live to spite your enemies. Such as he did. Such as angels do.

Fight anon, don't ever give up.

>>41388905 (OP)
I'm trying to survive long enough for the Dinosaur Mission chapters of Gantz to be animated.

If that happens, I'm hanging on for Daizaemon Kaze. After that happens, I'll probably jack off, go to sleep, then kill myself.

>>41388905 (OP)
I live because pain sucks and is stopping me from dying. I kind of wish I could just go peacefully in my sleep. Its truly the only thing stopping me form death.

I strongly believe that there's more to life after death and that the experiences/learnings to be had in said afterlife are far greater then what I could learn remaining here. I'm tired of the material world and wish I could be physically unburdened.

>>41388905 (OP)
I honestly don't know. I think part of me wants to help other people ( I am a physician), but there are days like today that I have absolutely no will to live.

>>41388905 (OP)
its the jews that make you think like that
fight the antichrist
join orthodoxy and prove your values

Scared of death. I’m probably gonna die a virgin neet but I’m too scared of death to kill myself. I just wish there was anything to be exited to live for but I have nothing.

>>41388905 (OP)
>>41388948
>>41389165
you should exercise and get a girlfriend

>>41389173
No idea where I would find a girl and doubt any would be interested.

>>41389173
So all the reason you have to live is to get sum pussy? Everythingn you do revolves around that?

I exercised, i had sum pussy.
All of that is egotistical nurture, when i came in that pussy i just wanted to do something else. Like read a book, or get onto some other shit. I can't envision life being only about sum puss

>>41388905 (OP)
>What keeps you going?

I like it. Reality is fun.

>>41389165
Okay tho maybe you should exercise and get sum puss. Mb take that shit slowly, practice going out everyday to do groceries or sum. Cmon anon everybody is scared of death, you are not alone.

Find a real world community that get together to do something you find amusing.

>>41389208
I dropped out of high school and covid stole my early 20s from me. I’m 25 and have never had a job and am khv. I feel like it’s a wrap for me.

>>41388905 (OP)

>What keeps you going?

Kiddies want their candy tonight, so I gotta at least survive until tomorrow.

>>41389228
Everything will be fine, get a job save some money, and believe in gods justice.

>>41389228
Well shit im also a neet, pushing 30s even, and i know its not a wrap. Maybe this is the mentality that keeps us right here, comfortably suffering because to suffer in confort is better than to suffer feeling disconfortable?
Watch Fight Club anon, turn that pussy ass scary energy into rage. A fuel for your own improvement.
And if.you have already, do it again, with that in mind.

>>41388905 (OP)
>I couldn't do that to my mum
>The search for gnosis/enlightenment as you mention
>I believe this life is a school for the soul, even though I suffer, my soul benefits from it
>My story will end when it is determined to end, but not by my own hand, or maybe it will be by my own hand, who knows, but I'm not actively going to end it currently

For me, it's community, the pursuit of excellence in whatever domain I decide, connecting with peeps, raising the vibration, and hope for a more preferred future/creating that future.
All of this is in no particular order, and there's probably some other stuff as well

>>41388905 (OP)
>What keeps you going?
I still can't bypass my self preservation instinct, otherwise I think I would have killed myself already.

>>41389505
Yeah 'connecting'

>>41388905 (OP)
I have a demon friend , he keeps me going

>>41389659
Can’t let the bastards win, don’t let ‘em hear you scream out, don’t give ‘em a tear, just keep smiling, because you know the punchline.

>>41388905 (OP)
Nothing but delusions on this board.

There are no supernatural forces, souls, magick, life after death, undead beings or giant conspiracies hiding things we cannot imagine right under the surface of what we can see. Reality is cold and driven purely by power, intelligence, determination and manipulation. There is no hidden meaning, no destiny, no reason to live. Reality is both a giant playground for us to explore and progress in, but also an arena for us to fight in for our false ideologies. If you fail at life, you will never find anything to hold on to. No aliens, no haunted houses, no spirits, no demons to fight. You're only fighting with your own delusions, and desperately trying not to hit the absolute bottom. Now try to prove me wrong, if there really is anyone still treating this paranormal shit seriously.

>>41388905 (OP)
If I kms I violate my contractual spiritual deal and can achieve no worthwhile afterlife
You're consciousness spawned into the world not by your own volition, you must not destroy it prematurely
It will be recalled precisely at the right, unknowable time

>>41389505

>and there's probably some other stuff as well

Tiddies perhaps? :3

>>41391071
Yes

>>41388905 (OP)
if you're longing death you can rest assured as it's likely coming regardless eventually
in the meantime you can take your joy where you find it and who knows maybe lend a helping hand along the way

>>41388905 (OP)
Jesus said, you will know a tree by its fruits.
So what kind of a tree is 'this' if its fruits are handling its inhabitants like ragdolls?

Btw /x/ is too bluepilled now OP
I thought it was different but I was wrong
Maybe it was different and all the old spiritual anons were pushed out and all the other paranormal posters are long gone
There's too much apologism and boomer-tier "I just want to grill for god's sake" thinking now

Mostly just Denny's for me.
I got to the gym, got a well paying job for the work I do, but I really just don't wanna do this anymore. I'm not materialistic, and the prospect of having sex again is kinda lame if you ask me. Had most of my fun as a teen and just stayed on the grind since then. Got to a point physically where I felt like I made it in the gym. Then it went away. Always fleeting. Decided last year that 2025 was gonna be my final year. If I didn't find a significant reason to keep going, I drive out to the nature preserve and put a bullet in my chest.

>>41388905 (OP)
my parents, thats it. i'll finish my part on this mod project im working on and wait for my parents to die, i love them but that is really all im doing. one day goverment money is gonna dry up for me (and it should) and wageslaving is not on the table, i cant do it, i tried and i'll jump of a cliff instead. and im not smart, skilled or driven enough to escape that. i probably have some other genetic defect other than my autism that made like this, like my retarded little brother, only i unfortunately am smart enough to understand the siutation im in. he is happy and oblivious, for now. i kind of envy him in a way, though i do fear for his future. i wish women would stop having children when they're old.

looking into the paranormal gave me nothing other than more questions, im interested in it but it didn't help my situation and god never gave me an answer, if he even exists or cares. i couldn't even get a fucking lucid dream let alone astral projection going after years and years of trying. because my mind refuses to let go and will induce a heart racing sweaty panic attack in my body when i try and go deeper, like a crying basedjack
>nooo you cant just leave the body im shutting down

>>41388905 (OP)
>this board
you've been psyopped out of living your life. your human experience is what you're here for

>>41388905 (OP)
because God will probably punish me with hell if i dont. my life has always been rough and it never got much better.

>>41388905 (OP)
>Why even live?
No reason. If you strain to have an unbiased view of life, it's just a zero sum game with no winner, and no end goal. If you're "lucky", you inherit the life of a parasite and hitch a ride on those who will make it, to their inevitable demise when they come into contact with even higher competitors, somewhere out there. All these "reasons" people give are post-hoc philosophical pilpul for why the overwhelming collective murder of life is beautiful, and not what it is. You won a dice roll for who you would be and what life you would experience. As the casinos say; you paid for the chance to win, you're not getting your house back, get out or bet your kidney.
>What keeps you going?
Nothing

>>41388905 (OP)
If I kill myself I would make mom, my dog and my childhood friend sad.
And I love them more than anything in this world.

So, I'm just powering through life and trying to find peace in the pain for them
One day at a time.

It's not easy, and some days the crushing weight becomes too much to bear, but I'm doing it for them.

>>41388905 (OP)
despite all the negative reviews about God from atheists, I still believe in a benevolent creator who will make everything right one day

one simple but powerful word: Hope.
hope that by staying alive, you will experience something good, better, pleasurable, etc. And someone with no hope for the future, or for something decent tomorrow, would end it now (and many do, suicides happen every day, all across the "world").

I saw a flying saucer once, so I know they are real. I want to see another one or have another experience. Hopefully they will tell me the truth. After all, they have had the privilege. Other reasons too, of course.

I found out I have "innumerable tumors" growing inside my body thanks to a wonderful genetic disease so I'm living for myself and what I want now, never felt so liberating.

>>41389100
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nplefywEFI

>>41393637
I really want to believe this as well.
I'm one subject of many in an experiment designed to pull the potential from those with latent genetic abilities. The main method for this is through torture. Like pressing two M&M's together and seeing what survives. I have endured 9 years of intelligence that would make our brains look like almonds, with the sole and unyielding purpose of exposing me to the most amount of psychological torment they can without completely breaking me. If they find they can apply more tension without breaking, they will. They've found they had a lot of leeway. It's run by, you guessed it, his truly.
>figured this out when I tried to think of a better place, free of suffering
>they switched out my description of it from heaven to hell in real-time (they do this a lot)
>I went with it, said I wanted to go there
>yadda yadda separation from god, you dumb goy, etc
>I continued
>the mask came off, bargaining and false promises as usual
>angels took off their demon masks
Don't expect you or anyone to believe me, just venting. If you think any and every atrocious act is beyond the pursuit of the "greater good", you're in the wrong place. This is a house of scientists, people far worse than demons.

>>41395663
The irony is they hate being called people, it offends them like nothing else; worse is to call them friend.

>>41388905 (OP)
>my brother
>my mother
>my cat
>my 3 true friends
>you guys
>my abillity to make music
>my abillity to draw
>unlocking more and more sectrets of the big picture

I am greatful for all that I have

>>41388905 (OP)
Spite

>>41388905 (OP)
Spite

>>41388905 (OP)
Gotta live long enough to learn how to successfully dupe the archons when the time comes
Hopefully this will be my last time here