ITT: we make our own martial art, Attacko, the most effective martial art originating on the /xs/board. Add one thing our more to our great martial art.
>It has to include a gi to emulate jackets

It needs mystique
too much functionality and transparency results in mma gayness

>>218740 (OP)
4 leaf.
It's a martial art that relies heavily on not showering and being as annoying as possible by purposely failing to comprehend what someone is telling you and then condescending them as if you know what you're talking about

>>218751
only coral belts of four leaf piss in bottles and bath in it

There may be a gi jacket, but the bottoms are a banana hammock
Whoever fills theirs out more decides who starts on top and who on the bottom, as is the law of the jungle

>>218751
>4 leaf
Lmao

>>218751
In the interest of >>218749, we need a better name, I suggest taking inspiration from those badly translated Kung Fu ones.
How about "Four leaf seething palm"?

>>218740 (OP)
We need it to be two variants that have very few things in common, but both of them insist that they're the closest and most faithful descendant of Ancient Attacko.

Only striking under the knee for "safety reasons".
We will claim grappling heritage but in reality only have 10 versions of the same aikido wristlock.

>for the first 3 months , students fight each other with NO moves barred (biting, gouging, scratching, pulling, twisting, it ALL goes), they also extensively train hard makiwara, Iron chi-kung, heavy bag\speed bag + they also do non-technique conditioning (burpees, squats, pushups, etc) and are beaten up if they don't put guts
>then they're taught a "fire kills water" type of art: Only one specific type of types of hit for each body part. for example, ONLY use an horizontal slash, or a "paper cut fly" for the enemy eyeballs, but don't poke\ jab them. etc for all body parts. They're also taught anatomy to a mid-degree
>last phase is specific technique drills, advanced MMA-type equipment ,and mental training; a sort of meditation that actually will let them, as human beings, horribly mutilate or murder an opponent, if the situation should require it
uniform could be pic related.

>>218778
as long as we have a move named 'tropic thunder'

>>219081
Kicking any higher is a waste of time

>>218778
>Four leaf seething palm
excellent

>>219208
that's where you zap someone in the balls with a tazer right?
>southern region
>most southern regions are tropic
>thunder
>tazers are electrical

>>218740 (OP)
many of the techniques are meant to be performed with a fleshlight in the power hand

A small handful of high ranking practitioners must have a personality cult built around them. We will tell everyone we meet that this group of people are undefeatable, even though they have never actually fought anybody. We will also tell people that their abilities can't be put to the test just for the sake of it, as they are too deadly and would kill anybody who hasn't practiced the art before.
Then we need to shoehorn it into movies because for some reason that makes people think things are more real.

>>220185
>We will tell everyone we meet that this group of people are undefeatable, even though they have never actually fought anybody.
Proposing to call them "The Four Heavenly Kings" because it's corny as fuck and Asian mysticism sells

To achieve the highest rank of Attacko (the black turtleneck), a fighter needs to strangulate himself until his windpipe is 99% scar tissue and immune to further damage.

>>220185
this would actually work

>>220192
>>220277
we already have a rival variant
The Four Heavenly Kings

>>220138
>>220185
ok so, how can we make tazing someone in the nuts, an onahole sword and make spalshing piss on your enemy loo badass for a movie

someone make an video AI generate this.
This is solid stuff. Have like a steven seagull-esk Messer fight but with an onahole sword and he pulls out pocket piss and splashes it in his face and then tazes him in the nuts

>>218778
>Four leaf seething palm
I second this name, kek.
>>218740 (OP)
GI's must be slightly green

>>220282
Don't need to. It's 2025, society is gay as fuck now. Those retards will lap this shit up as long as we put a rainbow flag on it or something like that. The work's already been done for us.

Elbow strikes like they did in the old BJJ manuals should be included

>>218740 (OP)
Extensive Finger Training
To the point where practitioners can tear through meat.

>>220185
>4 deadly ways
>all we do is lift weights and run and do stretches and eat
>toxic braps
>wise in the ways of the internets
>normie bullshit countered by "I don't care"

I was born for this art form. I think the uniform should be no clothes except for a belt with an empty gun holster. Nobody would dare fuck with us.

>>225587
>toxic braps
reminds me of when i farted before i got pulled over and the cops face just became filled with pure disgust as i rolled down my window

>>218740 (OP)
The path of eye gouging
You train by walking into retirement homes and elementary schools and steal everyones eye sight.
With a well-placed eye-whip you can end the fight before it even started

>>219208
Its just a kick to the balls, which are in fact allowed in sparring.

>>218749
Maybe Freemason type secrecy and induction rituals. The more spastic the better.