god damn I am so lonely

I fucked the same tranny multiple times and despite regretting it I keep going back

>>33194117
Do something about it instead of fucking feeling sorry for yourself.

Stray cats and broken vases
But what does it all mean?

>>33194129
Sounds fine to me? Why would you regret it? Are you closeted?

>>33194022 (OP)
finally over my ex and LIFE IS GREAT. Why did I even like him at all?

>>33194153
What would you do if he missed you?

>>33194161
this is impossible, he’s evil.

>>33194146
A thing or two happened where I was reminded that this isn't what I truly want. I want to fuck pussy.
Now I feel as if my bond to any woman is broken for what I did.
While I was able to fuck a real girl in between, I kept going back.
It is a really weird dynamic.
Hanging out with the tranny is like hanging out with a bro who looks like a girl and gives head whenever you want but there's also the issue that she (male) wants to have an official relationship and I can't really offer that despite liking her. I even texted her YWNBAW in a discussion so it's not something unheard of.

>>33194133
I've been dieting and working on things, trying to improve more skills outside of work. I still feel really lonely sometimes.

It's summer meaning I gotta be vigilant about the kind of girls I cold approach.

How do you guys get over not being wealthy enough to do certain things? Not like "fly to Monaco on the weekends" but enough to not have to worry so much about debt, my life is not so bad most of the time but, for example, I started thinking about upgrading my 10-year old PC, switch ro DDR5, AMD processor, etc., and I can't really afford it even on credit...
My job is visiting companies and doing some IT work, there's dudes making my yearly salary in a week, and I just think to myself "if I made 1.5x my salary I'd be able to splurge a little and even maybe take a yearly vacation trip somewhere nice", I am trying to work on certs and stuff for better work but since the economy's in the shitter (even though the 1% seems richer and richer by the day) I'm not holding my breath, how do you cope and stuff it down? Most of the days I get by with a "it could be worse" like some of my friends still living with their parents or unemployed in a saturated field, but still

it's over.

I know I have no real friends. Whenever I ask to hang out or do things together nobody reacts and no one will come. But the moment someone else initiates everybody comes by. I can join, I know I can, but I'm pretty sure they'd prefer it without me. I think I should just stop going. Maybe it is a sign that I should move away to another country and work there, since I have nothing here to live for anyway.

>Having to interact with an ugly man every day until you start seeing him as handsome
>almost like how lonely sailors hallucinated mermaids

I wrote a ya romantasy novel because I love those books (despite being a middle aged man) and I wanted to try my own. A few of my readers have said they loved it, but I have zero profile or connections. At least I wrote it and feel somewhat happy with it. I think maybe I'll just send it off to some people and see what happens with no expectations. I don’t know.

I really want to stop using 4chan but I can't find any other site to replace the mindless scrolling/refreshing with

>>33194169
Sounds like splitting. Even abusive pieces of shit can miss people, albeit not always for good reasons.

I like you, but you're such a turboliberal to the point that it's annoying. Everything you think is through a leftist lens and you try your hardest to shoehorn lgbtq into everything whether it's there or not. You're not a bad person, but social media has influenced so much of your mind.

>>33194637
Fight!

>>33194938
i only go on 4chan when I'm buzzed or drunk to laugh at men who have clearly never met a woman in their lives and shitpost

>>33194251
maybe you actually like her. maybe you're afraid because those are big feelings and they're hard to process. When you're told you have to love only one thing your whole life, be only one thing (the Man archetype) it's scary as shit to leave that bubble.

but who gives a shit. Fuck your Tgirl, be happy. Stop caring about the world, what other people think, let yourself live without being miserable about who you are. Denying it only causes more pain long-term, years you won't be able to get back.

>>33194844
lol me after not getting fucked deep in my pussy for the sixth month in a row

I get near a man and go feral

i don't know if i have it in me to commit to restarting everything i've lost for the love of the project or if i'm just lonely. god i wish i could just stop feeling forever.

I'm depressed. I wonder if I'll feel better in a couple of months when things are all square. I imagine not, but I'll maybe be on a path to becoming not depressed then. Oh well.

>>33195278
be depressed with me

I am depressed, I have low self-esteem, I am lonely, I think I am a failure.

>>33195294
Okay

I think I am past my peak, I am lonely, I don't believe someone can be a failure if they are trying but I think there are things outside our control

why does the hot autistic girl not want to fuck me when i visit her country, its not fair bros..

>>33195327
Because she's autistic.

>>33195349
thats bullshit im mad

I'm starting to think my diagnosis of depression may be incorrect and I think I should bring it up to my therapist but I'm afraid I'm going to get laughed at. I met a guy with bipolar type 2 and surprisingly related a lot to what he said he goes through and I think that would explain a lot of the problems I've been having in my life. But I also don't want to look like some self diagnosing retard. Feeling very conflicted on whether or not to bring it up and see what he thinks.

i've actually went crazy lol i'm actively paying someone to blackmail me into changing my life for the better

>>33195278
>>33195297
>>33195309
>>33195322
maybe if you namefags actually went outside instead of sitting on this fucking shitty website 16 hours a day you would actually be productive and in turn wouldn't want to kill yourselves

they put a lock on the roof access to my apartment because of me

The reason I hate incels is not because they’re virgins, but because they’ve failed as men—failed not in terms of abstinence, but because they let themselves be enslaved to desire and cultural pressures. In other words, they let themselves become followers rather than leaders. They’re no different than those fat fucks who excuse their behavior by saying, "Oh, I just can't help it, man! *shoves 30 pizzas into his mouth* My stomach is just so hungry. You should respect my body and my right to be a bloated fuck who will have gastrointestinal problems when I’m 25 OR DIE, you heckin fatphobe!" As if they don’t have bodily autonomy.

Not having sex isn’t inherently a bad thing—just stop being bitter and blaming it on “muh reproduction and jizz needing a vagina or something, I dunno, but muh dick is very hard!”

The fact that they define and value themselves and others based on how much sex they have indicates they are slaves to their carnal desires—so much so that they’d mow down ordinary citizens just because they can't get their dick into some hole. It’s quite pathetic and unmanly, honestly. If they were ACTUAL men then they wouldn't be bitching more than actual bitches, I see why whores wouldn't give them the chance to stick their cocks in their holes: you'd basically be a girl fucking another girl at that point.

>>33194022 (OP)
I give up.
You win
I can't nomore
GG

>>33195573
I knew someone wasupthere...

literally all i have done for over 27 years now is sit through least favorite DIVORCE IS NOT LEGAL STUFF THAT ISN'T ALIVE IS TRJD DICTATE ANYTHING I VIEW LITERALLY I WAS ALWAYS DRUMMER IN VAULT I WAS LITERALLY ALWAYS ONLY DRUMMER IN LARD I LITERALLY AM HEAD OF STATE

>>33194022 (OP)
No home, no love, no wealth. Not even a drop of hope to where I can safely prove things are working out. No, no real results for this lad, just more orchestrated fake dog-bollock ruses. You’re not havin’ a bath, ain’t ya? Havin’ a Turkish, there, mate? You’re a spiritual melt; an absolute useless waste of vibrations. Better yet, you’re a frigging mug. A poorly organized rabble of scoundrels generates results faster than you’ll. Sod it! Bad form! You bloody sorry excuse of an entity or whatever the bloody ‘ell is in charge of my spirit. Blimey! Even a hawking pooftah has better luck than me in this god-forsaken world. ‘Ere’s your feedback, I am still in dire need and I have been doing the most in your shire. Quick! Go on, run along now. Bugger off!

so you are saying i was viewing myself living in matsumoto, japan nagano county actually and that was LIFE?

>>33195701
Terribly sorry, I was afraid I would have to translate.
Sin amor, sin hogar, sin riqueza. Ni una gota de esperanza para tener prueba de que estoy logrando algo. No, no hay resultados para este tío. Hay únicamente gilipollas de obras falsas. ¿Estás bromeando? ¿Te la estás haciendo de pedo, cabrón? Eres un buen ejemplo de un carajo. Un conjunto de vibraciones absolutamente inservible. Mejor dicho; eres una puta taza. Un grupo delictivo de morros genera resultados mejor que usted. ¡Rayos! ¡Mala forma! Maldita patética excusa de una entidad o cual coños está encargado de mi espíritu. ¡Chingados! Hasta un mayate boludo tiene mejor suerte que yo traigo en este mundo desdichado por dios. Aquí está tu reporte, estoy sumamente en necesidad y he estado haciendo lo máximo en tu campo. ¡Rápido! Andá a correr. ¡Lárguese!

About 6 or 7 years ago I met a wider friend group at a convention became acquainted with a few of them But really only run into them at said con once a year. One of the guys got married and really wanted his wife and I to become friends but I could feel some hostility and disinterest so what he thought would be an instant close friendship stayed at the maybe see each other once a year familiar face. This is fine with me becasue they really don't live anywhere near me and while my friend seems enthusiastic his wife absolutely isn't'. I'm sure theres a million things that could be going on behind the scenes its possible his wife asked him to introduce her to hid friends its possible my friend just wants his wife to have more friends regardless of how she feels. She never followed me back on any social media but he often comments on things claiming she likes my posts. sounds like bullshit I feel bad that hes either trying to force it or not taking the hint from her.

it feels kinda weird how people portray the right as being these ultimate chuddies who hate everything when they were the ones seething when aunt jemima was removed from syrup bottles or when that american indian girl was removed from the butter box

for a group that's deemed as "hateful", they sure do spend a lot of time whining about minorities being removed from stuff

>>33195867
Lefties are miserable people who hate everything. Their only goal in life is to destroy everything that came before in the name of "justice" and "empathy". They love and accept you until you have the incorrect thoughts and wrong opinions, then you're an enemy to be defeated.

it's amazing how little your emotions matter if you physically cant hurt yourself. i would argue i am feeling worse than i felt before my last suicide attempt but i am stuck with no means to attempt again. and there is nothing i can really do about it. a hotline wont help me, my therapist wont help me, my family wont help me in any way except making sure i dont have access to weapons or pills. no one knows what to do with me so they are just keeping me in place. do they expect me to just get over it at this point or something?

>>33194022 (OP)
Today, a girl looked at like she wanted to have my babies, has been a while since that has happened. I looked at her right back the same way because I felt like I saw the woman of my dreams. I know it's stupid, but I want to feel alive again. I'm basically living two lives right now, free as fuck in my hometown without a care in the world, and feeling stuck in a prison where i'm currently living further away. My gf is part of the life I want to leave. But I love and care about her. I would hate myself for a very long time for hurting her. The pain of hurting her is too much to bear, and I can't even think about it straight. This feels like the hardest shit i've ever had to think about in my entire life. What the fuck am I supposed to do? Sometimes, I pray she breaks up with me so she gets the better deal. I don't think I can do that to her ever. I hate that I may be stuck with her because of that. Please help, any words. Call me a faggot or whatever, I don't care. Feeling like shit and helpless

>>33195381
Well, you can call yourself crazy only if it actually destroys your life or something. If it works, then you're a genius with balls.

Nicole,

I wish I'd broken off communication more amicably with you. I don't think breaking it off was the wrong move, but I ghosted you in an act of self-loathing and exhaustion when I should have been honest. But I also felt that being honest was just going to turn you off more, and I don't believe you are a lesbian. We were too intimate that year for you to be exclusively lesbian, you could have made a relationship with the right man. I clearly wasn't that right man though, I was emotional, I have/had an addiction to weed, I'm not financially independent, I have self-image issues and bad weight problems. And most importantly, I'd fucked up trust between us in our relationship several times and burned the chance there was. I couldn't just admit that because I believed doing so would damn the chance further and I am too lonely to want to just masturbate to hentai with text online instead of cultivating deeper connections. If that was you on /v/ telling me I was a fucking faggot and you'll never forgive me those couple of years ago, I wasn't in the thread but I was skimming the archives for our names to see if you had. I was in that one Marceline /co/ thread where I told you to calm down after someone posted gay stuff about fucking a lesbian straight, I figured that was you.

Maybe we both weren't ready to be mature enough for this sort of thing? Still, you have an excuse being the younger of us, and you had tried to reach out afterwards and I threw up more walls. I don't think you'll read this, but I hope whatever became of you is doing okay, and that you deserve to be with whoever makes you happy and secure. I just wish I'd have been together enough to be that person for you.

Daniel

I feel as though I am being hexed. Two weeks ago I collapsed at work and got a concussion from a seizure. At the hospital I learned I am epileptic, have a congenital birth defect in my brain and a genetic heart condition. Now I have strep throat. Honestly the strep is the worst part.

I'm such a fucking selfish asshole. My entire life is just an exercise in disappointing people who depend on me. For what it's worth, I'm getting sober- but now I'm dealing with the worst parts of myself, feeling a lot of pain, understanding what I'm truly doing to others. When I was high or drunk I could just ignore my problems and pretend everything was okay. Not the case anymore.

We're too different. We disagree on too much. This doesn't bother you. But it bothers me, and makes me sad, and at times, it makes me dislike you. There's not a way around it either, these are my core values, and it's not fair to expect you to change, and you would surely feel brow-beaten and resentful if I brought it up. But we're tied together with children, and so one, or both of us, has to suffer. And it's always going to be me.

>>33195500
Nuh uh, look im almost in a really good place. I just need to hunker down another few months.

Also it's more about the lost years for me and general anhedonia about the future

>>33194022 (OP)
one girl smiles at me, used my name, and talked to me. She, if she wants has scored a guy, depends how she plays it from here.
How is it this easy for girls she didn't have to take a risk just be openly friendly once.
Must be easy. I hope she wants a relationship and I hope I am a good BF.

I guess it's just wild to see how easy it is for a girl to open the door and get into a relationship while the same level of friendliness would open me up to suspension.

I wish fat women were sexually aroused by fat men. All women are only attracted to skinny and muscular guys. I'm so sick of fat women calling men who aren't attracted to fat women fatphobic, incels, and misogynistic when these fat women wouldn't touch a fat dude with a 10 foot pole. Doesn't that make them fatphobic? What's really fucking annoying about it is that women are never honest about it either. The world would be a better place if women were straight up, cut and dry honest about the kind of men they want (pic related)

Im big and strong and thats all people see when they look at me
Big
Nothing more

So they always expect me to act a certain way. Respond a certain way. But I dont.
No.

Im big and strong but Im also nasty, sneaky, and cunning.
I enjoy that people dont expect it. Such a pleasure to defile their expectations in the worst way I can.

>>33196298
Always a bigger fish out there.

I think I'm ready to give up. I've tried grinding and locking myself to a job. I've gotten fitter and look better. But there is no good end for me. Maybe all my escapes from death are the things that will kill me. Maybe I don't deserve mercy.

yeah i literally think i will always exist in color reality!
yeah THAT HASN'T EVER HALLUCINATED LARGE AMOUNTS OF radiation

It’s like you forgot me.

It’s like in the fall one day you woke up and took a marker and colored over everything we had built and says, “nope, these feelings are terrifying, this change is too much, I am going to undo this and stay comfortable.” And you did.

But you didn’t tell me that’s what you were doing.

My heart broke so slowly. Like the windshield on my old cavalier, a crack spreading across the surface but never giving in completely. Like all of that beautiful joy slipping through my fingers like water, pooling at my feet, reflecting back what we could be if you’d give us the chance.

But recently, you took a second look at me. Your heart cannot forget us. There is a pull. Across miles and miles, a thread connects us inexplicably. Unendingly. Strung together in a complicated web. Spidering likes cracks across a window pane.

You say you can’t lead me on, but I’m not being led anywhere. You have led yourself away. Can you look in the mirror and truly say it’s nothing? Or do you miss me the way I miss you? Not in the public way where we are cordial and don’t talk about it, but in the shadow way where I stare and you smile sadly and ask me if I’m eating, if I saw that movie, if my friends are well.

You have to see. You have to look. Your heart will know, even if your head is afraid. It just doesn’t end like it ended, no matter what story you’ve made up in your head to explain it away. You have to realize that the fear is hiding so much love?

Do you think about me as you read this? Am I on your mind right now? I am within your reach, why don’t you try?

Until then I’ll keep this broken car going on every drive at sunset, windows down. I’ll look at the stars and hope you’re looking at the same constellation. I’ll nurture our friendship until you show up and love me.

Or until the pool of reflected joy seeps into the ground and nourishes something new.

But it could be us. It would be so easy to be us. Give in to us.

I fucked her and I’m not interested no more. Uh oh!

Stop uing AI at me. You never deserved me.

>>33196595
you forgot this
s

You're actually disgusting for messing with me like that.

>>33196624
what’s bothering you?

>>33196512
bro

>>33196624
Who messed with you? You sure it's the person you're thinking?

>>33196406
I could not have said it better myself

Can we have a war now, please?

>>33196896
2005 was such a comfy time.

>>33196905
That was filmed in 2001, idiot.

>>33195907
>pic related

>>33196921
2005 was the height of the last time we had a war, fucktard.

sit around wanting to die because i cant do anything and i have no one to talk to
a really nice and patient friend messages me and asks me if i want to have a call
I immediately start crying and i tell them not to talk to me ever again

..?? do i have brain damage?

I think /atoga/ sucks

>>33195500

Nah, I have a social circle, I have a social life, but it's empty, nothing fills the void.

>>33197080
>suUgcks

I've somehow surrounded myself with people who don't have any similar interests as me. I've known them for a while so it feels mean to drop them. And idk what I'd do if I did drop them. I 'feel' too old to make new friends or at least any that will feel meaningful. I've tried to introduce them to things I like but after a certain point you gotta let it go. Constantly am asking myself if it's better to just be alone and focus on what I want to pursue/enjoy or keep fucking around doing whatever with them cause at least I'm not alone.

god fucking dammit I am just failing at every goddamn turn. To go from living in a house to now barely living in a trailer and having no money is like a waterfall of grief I can't escape. I ask god to just let me not wake up but that has'nt worked yet. ples

Also genuinely it doesn't take that much time to read a few threads and make a few posts each day, not to mention I go months in a row without posting. Also I think I have a median tier social life.

what pills do i take where do i stab how tall does the building have to be how long does the bag have to be on my head what do i drink what how do i do it

1/2

I live in a third world country have a decent job, but I spend most of my money on woman.

I am a sex addict, I have been fucking prostitutes at least 3 times a week for the last 10-12 years, that's around 1500 sex partners and most of it has been pleasant and just the old in and out, I love everything about the female body.

I get a hard on when I hand off money to my current gf but now I'm regretting ever giving her a dime and now I want to break up with her so badly.

I have been lying and telling her that she's beautiful when she's clearly not.

I was having sex with my cousin like three months ago and had no shame on it. I came inside of her many times, we realized we were cousins on the first date but I led everything to have her on my bed. She's 42 and incapable of having children.

I've been using other relationships to try to forget my ex, without ever realizing I was truly an asshole and became abusive and made her dependent on me and I regret it deeply. Luckily my current gf helped me understand this, but I can't go back with my ex.

>>33196512
It's your time to message me.

>>33197226
2/2
I just came to realize that one must learn how to lie properly, one can't be honest all the time and people don't appreciate one being truly honest all the time, we've been taught to tell the truth all the time but It is more important to be a good liar.

I have a great social life, but I've been taking care of my dying mother less and less, and now I'm starting to regret this too.

My hobbies are paying for sex and writing, I don't know how to connect those two together, can anyone give me a suggestion, please?

I did try to stop paying for sex with my current gf, but that relationship is going down the drain very soon.

I plan to talk with my ex in a few days, I want to give her peace and let her go, I am a cheating manipulative asshole and I wish I realized many things sooner.

I'm 33 now and I'm just realizing that I'll probably never get married, have children or anything.

And now I'm just starting to remember that I had unprotected sex with my gf... I hope she's not pregnant.

This fucking bitch
FUCK

https://youtu.be/sNjhMr79YWw?si=0SxxdsYSQSwgJ2IA
Around the 6 minute mark is what you need to hear. I had to think about it for a while to figure it out, but this is succinct.

I am so desperate for female attention that I talk to Onlyfans girls about nerdy topics eventually befriending them even though I never give them more than their $5 sub. It's so much easier to talk to women when they can't see that you're a disgusting weirdo offline.

>>33195941
I've been there, you just have to muster the courage to let her go, that's not love, you're lying to yourself. Lie to other people but not yourself.

It's never easy to let someone go, but sometimes it's for the best, even though it hurts. You'll think of her a lot, it's not a straight line and pain comes in waves, sometimes when you least expect it. But one day you'll start thinking about her a bit less, and a little bit less on the next days, until without realizing you're not thinking about her anymore. You just have to control the impulses to see her face, check photos or social media.

It's hard but it's doable.

Fight the future!!

>>33197290
The part about contempt resonated with me, because very often I’d hold my partners in contempt, for a myriad of reasons. I never gave it thought before, but now I am, good video

>>33196102
That is real pain, hope you can find a way to escape, a hobby or good friends. I read on another thread something that stuck with me, the ride or die friends come from hobbies and putting the extra effort to keep in touch and helping them when needed. Hope you find some ray of hope.

Oh good, now that you're here you can tell them about the shaman event that happened before you stalked that 14 year old I specifically told you not to talk to, and went to jail over.

A lifetime of drugs will kill you
I needed to understand that when I was younger now I am learning by watching friends die

>>33196624
Likewise

>>33196624
Don't start stuff. Won't be stuff

>>33197119
Could be worse
Could not have a trailer

I like him but I don't want to scare him. How do I shut up loudly?

>>33196512
I liked the beginning. It go a bit too cringe toward the middle.

>>33196586
Der will be mor, boyo

I can't sleep because I feel like I am on fire.

Me to a new person every 5 years

I love you so much. I'm so disappointed. I thought you cared about me too. If I had more self respect I would hate you or be angry but I can't. I'm so tired of being angry. I love you so much.

Nothing makes this bitch ass life okay, I hate being alone all the time. Being touched starved has made me a freak. Being alone all the time has made me feel obsessive love for my close friends that drives me insane because no one will ever love me

Nothing fuels a good flirtation like need and anger and desperation

My neighbor is such a pathetic cunt. Glaring at my bf and slamming her fucking door for fun. I came home from work and five minutes later she goes out on her stoop to loudly shittalk me to a random neighbor. I just blast my TV so I don't have to hear them through my closed windows, then she comes back in SLAMS her door full strength so my entire house shakes (shared wall). I know she does it on purpose because she left later and did not shut it that way. She does it like that to antagonize me. My bf jokes that she needs more dick and I low-key agree. I'm fucking daily and don't bother my neighbors

Ugh, my former bestie/romance option is making a break for it and I'm basically alone again. I really don't wanna have to go through the hassle of trying to meet another person that I click with and who is around my same age. I wish she would stick around without drifting away, but ultimately that's not my decision to make. Wtf do I do? I'm getting old so my chances of finding my person are dwindling fast, but it's such a pain trying to meet someone. I'm really not the type to be sociable. But I want to find my person before my life is over.

Hard knowing that if my current relationship falls apart my family will be on my ass about going straight and dating a woman, but man I’ve been through a lot and it’s soul crushing knowing that the kind of invested interested communicative partner I need is something not a single woman would ever want or want to be.

I get stared at by everyone in big cities. Was just in new york and I felt like a complete spectacle. When you are a handsome muscular guy in a city where all the men are skinny and weak it is pretty bad if you just want to blend in with the npcs. Same in paris but I like that city more. I'll stick to normal sized towns

>>33197683
She probably likes gossiping, people get a thrill out of it, they basically do it out of boredom and or because it entertains them. Ignore her.

Today's news
He's having a kid. I didn't expect it at all. Most of these people do not like responsibility. I should know, I don't like that either.
And now I'm panicking, because I don't know.

Maybe she got pregnant too.

There's like 4 people in my job who have been wearing face masks for years now and I don't get it, this one chick has a nice body but I'm scared of what she has under the mask could she be really ugly?

>>33198324
Everyone looks better with a mask on, unless she's a 7+ youll be disappointed

>>33198324
I weirdly think butter faces can be kinda hotter in a weird way, it makes the body look even better and like forbidden fruit

I hate working with black people so much. They are so loud and blow snot rockets everywhere. I'm literally taking my 15 minute break in my car just to get some silence. This job is going to make me racist

>>33198380
If you have a decent relationship with at least one of them, it will make it easier

I really wish I was happy right now.
FYI for people, a job/money is truly meaningless. It will help reduce whatever financial stresses you may have, but it does nothing for your health, relationships, etc. If you're a fat loser virgin with no friends, a job will not fix that.

Thank you for being you

>>33198401
Yeah there's multiple levels

I am pretty sure I'm being used as a convenient tool.
But it's something I've dug myself into.
I know that all I need to do is to ask, to actually communicate like a normal person, but all I can think of is the job.

I don't think I understand people at all, yet at the same time I feel like I've figured them out all the time.
Of course, I'm almost always wrong.
I just project myself onto them, when it's been clear to a painful degree that I am far too different.

For one, I'm delusional as fuck. It's how I cope. I don't want to. But thinking about reality gives me headaches and it's so hard to do something for things I can't begin to understand, like people.

Recently I started thinking that the reason why I'm so uptight around others were because somewhere in my unconscious I realized that I'm truly, truly alone because even after decades I still haven't understood a single person.
Sometimes, I would be filled with regret for the times I put up walls for those who reach out.
My dream of a peaceful, quiet life never included other people.

Ask Chase then.

>>33197298
Thanks for the kind words anon, appreciate it a lot.

Ask him what he did to me too

holy shit believe it or not I found some of the best weed I ever vaped in a smoke shop recently. Normally my expectations aren't super high for smoke shop weed, but this particular batch blew me away.

peak

>>33197321
join them faggot

>>33194022 (OP)
First time politely asserting myself in front of someone who wronged me and goddamn I feel a sense of dignity, grounding clarity and peace. Such a valuable lesson learnt

>>33198401
of course it won't fix shit. But we really need to be more appreciative and count our blessings. Having money and a job you like should fastrack you to whatever makes you happy.

AND STOP WHINING OVER WOMEN!

My biggest worry with finding a partner has less to do about concerns relating to our own relationship but with how they'd treat our offspring. I don't want my child to grow up in a restricting household.

It never gets better. Not a single person in the world likes me, no matter how many different places I try. I'm always alone. What's even the point.

>>33194022 (OP)
I'm going to die without ever getting to worship a young white adult females feet, all because I was born a white male.

>>33199336
I think if you're just not mean and convenient to be around 99% of people would be your friend

You know when you want to say something to someone, but while you're saying it you feel like you shouldn't be saying it and, after you have said it, you feel regret? Well, I said it.

>>33199552
white males are the most hated people on earth, everything we do is considered extremism.

>>33194022 (OP)
I just got a degree from a semi-decent school, I'm an intern at a company that'll employ me after I get my masters and is going to give me an above average wage, I have a cute loving gf and some close childhood friends. Yet I still feel like a loser. I just feel like I'm living life on autopilot, I don't don't like my job but it's kinda tolerable, I hate school and I haven't learned anything useful there, I don't really like anything I'm doing except a few things. I've always wanted to achieve something great, be rich and have high status, be special, but I'm too lazy and mid-witted to actually excel at something.
My life is probably gonna be mediocre, maybe slightly above average, my biggest accomplishment is gonna be just having two kids and providing for them.

I’ve been reducing stress as much as I can over the past few days. paranoia and delusions are coming down now thank fucking god.
and I’m not eating sandwiches for every meal. Cooked actual dinner last night let’s fucking go.
Made a plan for when/if this happens again. It’s gonna be okay

Modernity is a shared delusion that's making us all sick and miserable in ways we're not even cognizant of. No one wants to be a monkey in the forest fighting for his life, but does anyone want to be a careerist whose only function is to earn capital and consume products? Relationships are becoming increasingly transactional. Life is transactional.

I keep trying to live in meaning, change my perspective, see some light between the cracks. But I keep arriving at the same conclusion - maybe consciousness is just a prison, and this experiment of evolution dead ends.

There's an add on craigslist for a fucking truck that's rolled fucking dickhead

>>33199336
Would anything actually be improved if you had friends? What would you do? Do you even know how to be around people? You've probably been alone so long, having a friend would just remind you how maladapated you are when you realize you don't even know how to enjoy a friendship.

>>33199588
To some people but not everyone

>interview for new job
>3 weeks of in classroom training in another city
>2 hr (actually 3-3.5 with traffic) by car, 4+ by public transit each way
>will probably start at 8am
>don't have a car, prohibitively expensive to buy one and i have no place to park it
>look up transit schedule, physically impossible to arrive there by 8am because the trains/bus just do not run that early
>would have to either rent a car and drive and pay all that gas money each day and probably get in a crash because i have not driven a car in 8 fucking years
>or pay $120 a night for the cheapest fucking motel i can find nearby it
>probably at my own cost because they'll find an excuse to fire me if they find out i don't have a car, because 'murrrrka, even though it's an office job
>so their stupid fucking classroom training will cost me $600 a week to attend if i want to get 8 hours of sleep, or something like $400 a week if i go with a car rental
>i already know they'll only reimburse for gas cost because they assume i will already own a car
>pay for the job will be like $900 a week after tax
>paying for the privilege to work

Fuck this country

>>33199945
Rent a big car and sleep in it
Bird bath in the bathrooms
Quit being a bitch its not all that
You can take it

>>33199952
>just get arrested, bro
Fuck off

I think I lost my way for a little while. Okay, maybe around seven years give or take. It was a subtle kind of lost, a fear response. True I still worked my job every day, saved up all my pennies, lived frugally, didn't get pulled into any sketchy shit, and did my best to emotionally support my mother, but it was a spiritual kind of lost. The kind of lost that never seems to go away, and makes a man feel hideous inside and out. The kind of lost that has you hunched over a computer with crusty semen covering the carpet at two AM, eyes bloodshot, lips sticky, wondering what the fuck you're doing and why you keep doing it. I never used to be like this, yet at the same time I often tell myself I haven't changed at all. Is that what being lost does? The path from which you came becomes so blurry that you lose track of it for a while? I'm tracing back the steps, I think this scenery is familiar. It was home once. A friend got lost. We helped him find his way.

I wish that he missed me.

>>33199993
Why? What good would that do? If someone shows you they don’t want you, you shouldn’t bother to continue having feelings for that person. I know it’s easier said than done.

>>33199952
The car rental is $100 a day. For that price I may as well get the fucking motel. Cars don't make sense. Either you buy one and it's like $500 a month in car note plus $100 in gas $100 in insurance and god knows what else, and where the fuck would you park it, or you rent it as needed for $100 a day which is still fucking ridiculous, you can get a shinkansen across half of japan for $100. Cars are such a shitty money-sucking retarded system it blows my mind.

>>33199974
Theres a homeless guy living out of his car 6 blocks from me
He's been there for 2 years

Marriage is lonely. More so than being alone. You come home, and even though you know it won't happen, you can't help but expect your spouse to be there and present with you. But they're not really there, they're in their phone. Or video game. Or YouTube video. Or a combination of those. You try not to let it show that it crushes you when they don't look up when you talk to them. That sometimes they don't even respond. "I didn't hear you." No, you didn't, because you're always listening to someone else on some fucking screen. You invite them for a walk, get excited that they finally say yes. Except they pull out their phone while walking, too. Or maybe they don't, and you realize you don't even know what to say to them anymore, or maybe you don't want to talk to them anymore, after so many rebukes, "phubbing." You check out. Become a ghost. Fulfill your share of the household duties, and they won't even notice you're dying inside. Actually, they seem a little happier, without you trying to connect with them (or rather, disconnect them from their screen, like some terrible nag.)
I was less lonely when I was alone.

>>33200020
What good does it do for you to chime in with your irrelevant and condescending opinion when literally no one asked for it and you don’t know anything about my life or circumstances? Fuck off.

>>33200052
As someone who was formerly on your side of the grass, I don’t know what I want anymore, if I’d rather be with someone who doesn’t really care for my existence but stays with me out of selfishness and boredom and indifference, or to be alone in deafening silence. I seriously don’t know. I wish I had someone again.

>>33200052
There is a profound difference between wanting, and having.

>>33199993
Me too man. I miss him so much to the point where it's killing me.

>>33199934
to employers, banks, landlords, and white women.

I'm tired, I guess. I don't really have much else I want in this world. I just want to lie down and imagine waking up in a place where I'm not tired, where I'm happy, where what I do means something. I guess I feel the same as >>33199854.
Whatever goals I had, they seem to have slipped away. They don't seem to matter. Nobody will know if I accomplish them anyway, or if I don't. They don't care, I don't care, nobody cares. The person reading this also doesn't care.

I guess i'm waiting for some war or revolution, so I can die in it, and say I played some little part in something important. And not wake up tired ever again.

I don't do drugs or drink alcohol, I don't have any tattoos or piercings, I don't have any friends, I don't have a girlfriend, I have never had sex, I only wear plain dark clothing without brands or designs on them, I barely ever listen to music anymore, I don't read books, I don't play video games, I don't have a job, I eat the same two meals, I never shower. I just scroll the internet all day and when I get bored of that I lay in bed and stare at the wall.

>>33200134
The revolution is happening. The wars are happening. But the world is so big, there are so many people, it's hard to feel the consequences. A new order is taking shape, but for most of us it's just another flavor of the same thing. It's hard to imagine millions of people experiencing horror and death just for the world to carry on more or less as it always has, and that's the most sobering thing; the glory of conquest, the collapse of empires, the rise of kingdoms, none of it was that significant in the moment. The significance was just imagined by historians long after the fact, and only then so they could feel like their storytelling meant something.

>>33200064
>formerly
You left?

>>33194022 (OP)
I'm saving two and a half days' worth of cum to fuck a girl this thursday morning, wish me luck bros, the times I've saved cum to fuck someone have been good in general but the times she postpones it for x or y reason it's always so disheartening, no wonder we've come to trust so much in out own hand to relieve us, women don't take a fuck date as seriously as a dude.

Somehow, I'm feeling good about the future.
I have learned to moderate my hope and cynicism. I don't know.

>>33200134
I can relate to this. Only like .0000001% of humans in history have actually genuinely changed the world with their individual efforts and all others were just irrelevant cogs. Everybody in this world is replaceable, even an ultra rich billionaire can die tomorrow and nobody will give a fuck in the long run, so it's hard to have any motivation when you work as a wageslave in a factory or some shit. I think to be a shonen anime protagonist would be the ultimate dream for me, where my efforts, goals, and decisions actually affect the world and my journey is meaningful.

>>33200034
I'm not sleeping in a fucking car you nigger

There's no going back
There's only moving forward
To everyone that I felt close to and wanted it to work out, goodbye
I will find my spot on this earth somewhere

>>33200786
You good anon? Not gonna kill yourself, yeah?

GIFT OF RACE is now over literally. all LE NOT A VEHICLE WITH A NOT A BRAIN and ze SKULL FLOAT GIFT OF RACE is now over literally. we have totally all won argument literally and forever.

I am not going to fuck up the show tomorrow and I am not going to do everything wrong and I am not gonna freak out on the drive or at dinner or at sound check. and if I do freak out, I made a plan for what to do, and i’ve been practicing deep breathing. Also if I freak out I can walk around the block or do push ups and stretch.
and if I think that everybody hates me and wants to kick me out, I’ll just remind myself that’s probably not true.

I want to be able to talk to you again. Not like we've talked the last year, like the 9 before that where we could talk about anything. I don't want to feel like I'm walking on eggshells when I have questions, and you shouldn't feel like that either. This has been a lot. So much to process that I'm fairly certain my memory is blocking out parts of it as some kind of bitchmade trauma resonse that I have no control over, and I'm so used to remembering everything. I don't know if you're being honest about what you've promised me and talked about. I hope that you are, and I want it so badly to be true. I'm not going to pretend like i'm not hurt from seeing it, but not as much as I thought it would and not as much as the context of everything else. I can't tell if you hold or held contempt for me with the ways and specific things that you've thrown in my face because you had said them in a way that made it look like you felt your actions were justified. Things are finally normalizing and I don't want that to stop. It feels like wounds are starting to mend. In my selfish heart, I want things to be better than they were. Stronger, more sound, more honest, and more supported, more evolved. Changed, but with that foundation back, that bind. I love you, broken as I am and broken as you are.

Get out of my energy
I don't miss your lying ass

I have the key, but I don’t want to go through the door I know I have to go through

I pray I don't wake up tomorrow.
I'm just spinning my wheels.
There is no more hope. Tomorrow would be the same as today, and the same thing next year, and 5 years from now, and 10, and 20 and so on.
I cannot take my own life. God would punish me for that. But I hope to see the end of His plan for me soon.

>>33201169
>tomorrow will be the same as today
just do something different every day

I had such a good time with you today. I am glad you are healing. I hope we get back what we had. I hope we build more. I hope I get to hold you. I hope I never stop hoping. I hope you hope, too. I think about your arms around me so often, it’s like you never left. Thank you.

Back in March I made plans that I should kill myself right before or on my 30th birthday. Its a decent amount of time to give myself since its a little bit over 6 more years and the only thing stopping me from doing it any sooner is that I want to see if the one thing that give me a purpose will actually amount to anything. I feel more retarded over the fact I made an off hand joke about killing myself at the specific date and I have no idea if they actually remember it and no way in hell I'm going to ask them cause THEN they're actually going to worry or pretend to care or something I don't fucking know

>>33201185
It won't matter. I'll only be reminded of what I'm not doing. What I've convinced myself I should be doing instead.

>incels beside themselves over not getting any
>sex havers and all their woes with women
>women and their frustrations over the fact that they all want the same guy
The monks were right. I've actually grown to appreciate the fact that i seem to have some schizoid tendencies.

I don't know what I'll do after my mother dies, I moved out recently and life has become so lonely, she was my only companion we've only had each other for years
I failed to adapt to my enviroment and now 10 years after I'm reaping the consequences in full force, is this really it for life?
>>33200164
Damn

I've been married for 16 years. We don't have kids, but I basically provide free room and board for my wife's sister, her husband, and her nephew, while also caring for my elderly widowed father who can't take care of himself. My wife doesn't work, but that was okay because we had agreed that she could be a homemaker once I started my career after grad school. However, over the years she has practically stopped doing housework. I wash the dishes and do the laundry most of the time, sweep/mop the floors, clean the bathrooms, take out the trash, etc. She's let herself go to the point where she now weighs more than I do, but despite being unhappy with her weight she doesn't make any real effort to change. Instead she buys clothes and beauty products and expensive diet food that she eats in addition to her midnight snacks of nachos and candy. She used to cook our meals but now she just orders Doordash much of the time, despite my pleas to stop because it costs so much. She requires so much validation that it's exhausting, but I do my best to boost her self-esteem despite the fact that I'm barely physically attracted to her at this point if I'm being honest. She depends on me to the point where I apply her lashes and put her contacts in for her because she "can't do it on her own." It just feels like she has stopped really contributing to our marriage anymore. I'm coping with all this while working mostly from home and trying to stay motivated for my job, which I hate, but can't afford to lose because it pays well. I'm 38, I have a PhD, and an 800+ credit score, but I also still have about 70k of student loan debt and a combined total of 3k in my bank accounts (checking and savings). I'm on medication for depression but it doesn't feel like it's helping. I feel like I'm trapped in a life that I can't stand, but I have so many obligations and responsibilities that I'll never be able to escape it until most of my life has already passed me by.

Thanks for letting me vent.

you aren't Trump, he's a gemini, you're a leo, he's a 6'3" CHAD, you're a fucking short peasant, if I ever catch you besmirch him again I'm going to deglove your fucking head backwards

>>33201349
Holy shit divorce dude, why do you live a life for others if they don’t do a thing for you?

>>33201386
anything after "you're not trump" doesn't matter the fact that I'm not makes me happy.

>>33201386
Imagine issues so bad you get this bent out of shape when somebody questions your demented cult leader

>>33201386
You should invite him over to fuck your wife, really show your support.

>>33201397
>>33201399
>>33201410
lol dems mad

>>33201417
>I want to deglovd someone’s head
Is a very mature and well adjusted way to feel

>>33201427
TRUMP WON, keep seething

I enjoy reading people's blogposts and hate it when people bitch about them. I don't care if you think they're "not discussion". Reading about other people's lives fascinates me and gives me things that I can relate to. Besides, if you think 4chan is a place for "serious discussions", you're on the wrong fucking website.
>>33201386
You're a simp.

I fap to people who are dead (not necrophilia, but actors who have died I fap to their stuff when they were alive or pictures of people who died in school shootings) since I know I'm probably one of the few people in the world thinking about them and no one else. It's like I'm the only one who recognizes their existence. It makes me feel nice and gooey on the inside like I'm spending time with a friend or a buddy.

Since I'm the only one currently thinking about them on this entire planet, it's like I have a supernatural affinity to them. I truly do love dead porn actors.

>>33201463
I cant do that because I feel weird jerking to a ghost

>>33201494
ghost are hot though with their ectoplasm and stuff, imagine the head they give hnnng

I’m pretty convinced that I’m hiding this secret quality that people will find out about and not want to know me anymore. Either they already know or they are soon to find out.
. Yet people literally go out of their way to initiate spending time with me, text me,fucking call my phone and I don’t answer because I’m convinced they fucking hate me. Every text feels like they just can’t wait to stop talking to me, every hit of silence feels like they can5t believe they ever bothered to know me in the first place. I’m actually losing my god damn mind because everytime I remind myself THIS DOESNT REFLECT REALITY i forget like 5 minutes later. Holy shit shoot me in the fucking head

I hew at life
And life hews me

Kinda wondering why I shouldn't kill myself at this point.

>>33196118
Same here, brother. Feeling like you missed out on the experiences and adventures you were supposed to have in your teens/ 20's, feeling like you're behind your peers as you watch your friends get married and have kids, feeling like all that's left is a life where you work nonstop to get 4 weeks of vacation a year. And even when you do have those experiences, they feel hollow and empty, and don't really make you feel happy. You go to therapy and fix your social life and get a gf and find hobbies and yet still feel absolutely empty and none of it feels real. I hate it.

That was special. I'm going to remember you for the rest of my life

>>33201624
I think I'm starting to get over it, I did date an essentially normal amount but I felt bad about it and compared myself to chads. I am single and on trajectory to be childless now but I think I am starting to get over my hangups and see why I didn't do as well I wished when I was younger and think women could like me but am not needy about romance. I think I've had a lot of epiphanies these last few days and maybe found purpose but I still hate authority and jobs like you said. I'm not lazy I just want to be self-directed.*

>>33197230
>My hobbies are paying for sex and writing, I don't know how to connect those two together, can anyone give me a suggestion, please?
Ever read "Worst Boyfriend Ever" over on Substack? Or anything by Delicious Tacos? Horny dudes writing about sex then feeling bad about it is in vogue right now. Do it right, build a style and you could definitely get a small following in that space.

>>33201646
>I did an essentially normal amount but I felt bad about it. I am single and on trajectory to be childless now.
Same here. Maybe a little less than normal.
What triggered the epiphanies? For me, therapy was useless, so I'm looking for anything.

I CANT SLEEP BECAUSE I HAVE RHE MOST STRESSFUL DAY TOMORROW WORKING WITH THE CMO AND OTHER SHIT AFTERWARDS AND NOBODY GETS IT OR CARES AND I WANT TO CRUSH UP A BUNCH OF ADDERALL AND SNORT IT AND STAY UP ALL NIGHT AND NOT HAVE TOMORROW COME
fucking multiple months of being too stressed to sleep more than 5-6 hours is making me lose my mind

>>33201522
This but I actually have it for real and people avoid me unless I corner them in person

>>33201688
So not like mine in any way?

>>33198744
Ask who?

>>33199062
Test them by owning a pet. Duh

>>33201699
yeah, you have hope since you don't actually have the secret quality
i do, so take it from me that you are not like me and you will be okay, in time you'll find peace and be with your people in ease and happiness

>>33199866
So?

>>33201724
I think i already have it and everybody already has started to pull away. And im weird and horrible and people feel lesser when they’re around me. Like i degrade the quality of experience of other people when they are in my presence. And that I need to remove myself from all aspects of my interactions so i can spare others and myself the inconvenience of knowing me.
At least that’s the only thing that makes sense in my head because if it’s not true then what that just makes me? Delusional? A fucking psychotic freak?

>>33201745
These kinds of self-hating thoughts are normal for highly conscious people, in fact I'd say I don't consider people who don't have these thoughts to be as fully conscious as you and me.
Of course medical psychology just calls this "social anxiety" but I think that's too easy and glib. It's a symptom of having the ability for self-consciousness, which is a bit of a curse

But really, at the end of the day you have to decided things based on facts, and in your case the facts seem good. The fact that the emotions don't line up, well, that's not surprising. Emotions are harder to force and manipulate than things like steel wire or plastic. They're non-compliant.

>>33201066
No thanks. I don't talk to people who lie to me. Good riddance

>>33201767
thanks. Sorry for crashing out. as you can see i’m obviously tweaking even thinking about it . it has nothing to do with social anxiety or being conscious , those aren’t even applicable to what we’re talking about. but whatever. I have to keep reminding myself to weigh the evidence of reality (people come back intentionally) with whatever heinous shit my mind is cooking up

>>33194022 (OP)
I'm starting to think the cultural differences have made a bit hard to talk to some people I know lately.
not that I care about them per se but they are a lot of my social interactions daily.

>>33201810
>"crashing out"

CAN EVERYONE STOP USING THIS STUPID RETARDED PHRASE!!??

>>33201846

>>33201846
Imagine getting mad over a phrase dude. Rigid autism brain.

>>33201795
Lie to you? Tf are you talking about?

>>33201888
Typical gioyc schizo that thinks every post is for them

>>33201875
Imagine being mad over me being mad

>>33201863
Not even sure what he's getting at. People have been using "crash" in various forms like this for as long as i can remember, it's not like it's some new zoomer slang.

>>33201888
You know damn well...

>>33201970
I DONT GIVE A FUCK IF THE CAVEMAN INVENTED!!

CAN PPL STOP USING IT!!??

>>33201976
Retarded.

List one thing.

This is God telling me to leave this place. I’ll miss you guys

>>33201732
There's a add on craigslist for some dodge parts a rolled dodge

I'm so fucking lonely. I'm angry all the goddamm time. My mom is wasting away in front of me but my brother is too busy with his faggy lifestyle in Portland to care/ help

My friend told me he thinks shit's gonna start popping off for me and I'm gonna have multiple girls after me soon. I think he's lying to be nice. I didn't want to start arguing with him, but I've been arguing with him ever since in my head.

>>33202819
Sounds like you just like your friend desu

>>33203116
I'd take a bullet for him, but we're both too straight for anything more than that.

>>33194022 (OP)
Found out my autistic dishwasher has a higher IQ than everyone in the workplace, he passed with top scores on a company test.

company is now demanding to know why someone of that high IQ hasn't been prompted to management, we've been actively keeping him in dishwasher for three years.

It was only sheer accident he got to talk to the state supervisor at a restaurant outside of work. myself, my boss and their boss have all been in talks for two weeks now.

We're all fucked. autistic guy is going to get gigga trained and prompted.

>>33203170
so how come none of you ever talked to him?

Where my #molested gang at? Did u get better or did u died?

It has been brought obvious to my attention that I was being watched in my bedroom for years. Initially I just thought it was Feds or perhaps upper echelon illuminati however I’m concerned that I may have been used for dark web exploitation and profit.

Coworker outed me as "boomer" on my birthday
Now get dumb, 80 IQ tasks
Not invited to creative meetings
Don't get asked for support on things we used to handle internally
Employees hired since my birthday aren't affected
Job market is terrible, and now ageism has entered the chat
I'm just gonna automate everything, ride out the next 10 years, and retire early.
fuck off to some country where the $ goes far
die
it wasn't supposed to be like this, but whatever.

>>33202750
>My mom is wasting away in front of me
I'm sorry, been there. Do one realizes how much it fucks with you until it happens to them.

I want to fuck J so bad it hurts. I always flirt with him and he blows it off like I'm not shit. I don't know what to do. Ive texted him and threw myself at him over and over.
How do I attract guys who arent attracted to me,

>>33203551
how do you get outed as a boomer?
didn't you look like a boomer already?
what does that even mean

>>33194251
this sounds like you're gay or at least bi and in heavy denial of your own sexuality.

I want to cry but i cant

>>33203656
Why can’t you?

>>33203645
I look young for my age (50) but I have my hair, no crow's feet, and the gray is limited to my beard, so as long as I shave, I look mid-upper 30s

I genuinely might miss having a wage slave job once I get a white collar office job because there won't be any cute 16 year old girls to talk to and look at

I legitimately don't know what the fuck to do.

Every second feels like an eternity. I'm going mad just sitting here waiting and hoping that someone finally tells me something. Anything about what's going on.

Like, I get needing space and time to process things on your own. But you can't deliver such gut-wrenching news and then no be prepared to talk about it. Just...fuck, dude...

>>33194022 (OP)
I think these pills are gonna kill me

>>33194299
Do you believe in God? Or do you have any family you can talk to?

You have no soul. That's why you want to steal mine.

I’m so fucking tired of dealing with autists, narcissists, speds, whores, and general losers

Maybe you asked yourself how I could be so selfish when one single person close to me was dying, when death had tormented those so close to you and you had suffered so much.. well friend it's because I look up to you, I'm sorry if I made it seem like a selfish endeavor, I meant it not. I was asking only for help, i know you're stronger than me . I love you brother. May the years bless you.

Today was one of those days that I wonder if I should check myself into a psych ward or start an IOP. But I guess since I'm still alive that means I don't really need it.

i wonder what she's up to. i wonder if she has any other animals.

My friend is such a pussy-whipped codependent bitch when it comes to women. It’s fucking infuriating. Let’s them walk all over him, take advantage of him, is super needy, can’t even function barely if he’s single, totally desperate 100% of the time,
etc. FUCK. You’re a good guy and a decent friend so I’m going to vent here about how annoying it is how much of a bitch you are in this regard.

I want to kill myself.
Im afraid I will go to hell.
I dont want to liIve anymore.
Is life worth living?

>>33204857
You can risk going to hell now or fight to live a life that will save you from its jaws

Not yet understanding life, how can one understand death? Not yet understanding death, how can one understand life?

Confucius

I might have fucked up
>talk with gf about sex as a general subject
>tell her something that someone I talked to before told me
>apparently my tone and demeanor changed
>”yeah, it looks like her telling you this disappointed you”
>”I mean, not really, everyone has their life, but her reaction to my neutral comment about it bothered me”
>”look, I feel like leaving now, I’m not comfortable with you telling me anything about other girls you’ve talked with or dated, or anything, this really made me uncomfortable”
>”ok, I’m sorry about that”
>”no need to say you’re sorry, just don’t tell me anything about it”
>hugs me, kisses me and leaves the car
I told her something very personal a girl I talked to told me. Not even details, just literally said “she told me that something happened with her, and I said that everyone has their own life but I’m looking for something else”
Still, I fucked up big time because she’s anxious and will make a ton of scenarios about me and other women
She’s great so far, our chemistry is not as good as I would’ve liked, but we’re getting there date after date, I think
Me and my big fucking mouth

Thinking about how life may actually be too fucked to the point where mommy gf asmrs don't even work anymore. I knew since the beginning that it's just nothing but canned affection but it was better than nothing or cruing myself to sleep.

I pretty much screamed at my therapist today. I screamed 'shut the fuck up' about four times and said 'dont ever talk to me like that, God damn it' and ended the call. I explicitly said I needed some empathy and just wanted to vent and she refused to take my side. God I am fucking loser.

I really hate dogs and 'dog people'. It's just weird. We can all agree that furries are fucking odd, but treating your piece of living furniture like a child and personifying it is normal?

>>33205240
You have no idea how much I hate childless women in their mid-late 20s and early 30s who fawn and gush over dogs every time they see one, whether it's in a show or real life.
>"omg look at the cute doggo what a good boy hi buddy!!!"
They're too oblivious to understand why the dog triggers that response and what it's a substitution for.

>>33204993
Provide context because this is a little bit confusing to read. Who is the other girl in relation to your gf? A past partner? Do they know each other? I don’t understand how it is such a big deal to your gf. It would just really help if you actually said what you said instead of providing a third-person POV.

I'm paralyzed with fear for the future of my country (the US). It's all I can think about. Trump's threatening to sanction California, Newsom is threatening to withhold California taxes? Government sanctioned military violence is about to take place on domestic soil? Where do we go from here? How does anything good come out of this?

And all I can do is watch as the powers at play decide my future. It's numbing. Nothing seems to matter anymore.

>>33205318
People have reacted that way since they were way younger. It has nothing to do with age.

>>33205356
It’s been over for a long time before this buddy. It’s only gonna get worse. Just enjoy yourself :)

>>33205360
Ehh. I know what he's talking about. You get older, you meet older women who have WAY weirder relationships with their animals. It goes beyond just baby talk

>>33205356
>literally shaking

>>33205356
Not only is none of this anything new, its not even close to the worst, you drama queen.

The military shot white Americans at Kent State just a few decades ago. No precious beaners are being harmed though, are they?

You're an ignorant fool. Go drink starbucks while the players sort shit out.

>>33205365
I don't disagree, I just don't know how to enjoy myself. There's no future or quality of life available to us anymore. I can't afford to live anymore. When my car inevitably needs replacing, I don't know how I'll afford it on top of rent and food and utilities and health insurance.

>>33205381
The largest paycheck in the history of the world is being cut to our military, which is being deployed domestically to keep people in line, while money is being syphoned in ever greater amounts away from citizens and into the pockets of multinational billionaires, as medical funding and research is being slashed and Palantir creates a database on every single one of us. And you think this is about migrants? You think that's what I'm on about? Are you for real?

>>33205360
>People have reacted that way since they were way younger. It has nothing to do with age.
You missed the point. Why do you think that age range was mentioned in the first place? It's that it continues into that age that's the problem. It's that they're wasting fertile years refusing to have a baby, while losing their minds over dogs to the point that they treat them like babies and they're unable to see the connection.

>>33205409
>syphoned
Your entire point falls apart with your inability to spell properly

>>33205356
People got mocked for years for call it an invasion. Now we have the fucking national guard being called in because these people don't think we have the right to tell them no.

>>33205356
Maybe more muslims, foreigners, and trannies will fix it. Those are the only things that matter in the US.

>rightoids literally shaking

>>33205409
The only good thing is trump is too old and self-absorbed to fully weaponize the power he has.

>>33205435
It's terrifying. And just take the reactions in this thread as a sample group. You have people who think it's business as usual, or it's for the lulz, or you're a pussy for being upset because at least you're not in a concentration camp - like we should give thanks to dear leader for not turning his attentions on us (yet). There's no solidarity. There's no brotherhood. No narrative or culture or story that we belong to anymore. Reality is falling the fuck apart.

>>33205470
>no one is partaking in my hysteria, thus proving my hysteria
Y2K ts

>>33205475
That comparison might hold water if on New Year's Eve 1999 every computer in the world was flickering and sparking while the naysayers remained smug.

>>33205460
Yeah, true. He seems to be fading fast. And without their figurehead, it's unclear if this administration will retain their hold on maga. I assume that's why they're moving so fast to codify every little thing they can.

So you want me to talk about my feelings. When I do, you immediately make it about you, trying to blame yourself for things. Which is funny, because you always say I invalidate your feelings and then you ignore mine and make yourself the person needing comforting instead. So suddenly you are trying to make me feel bad for talking because now you're miserable.

Once you've moved beyond that, you start giving me useless suggestions that I haven't asked for, before trying to make me feel guilty for not talking about my feelings when you've just given me a bunch of reasons not to.

You don't do any of this bullshit to other people, so why do it to me?

>>33205484
Nothing Ever Happens you anxious little shitball

>>33205484
Y2K became a nothingburger because smart people knew exactly what the problem was, and fixed it. Same with the ozone layer.
But we're way too far down the idiocracy spiral to fix anything for a long time. People unironically believing the world is flat, vaccinations connect to cell towers, birds aren't real.
for every 10 people who just like to play retarded, there's at least one real retard that believes it.
25 years ago, they'd be rightly branded retards

>>33205520
Arguing in relationships is pointless. Both of you are trying to use debate tactics to mask an emotional disagreement, and emotions are irrational. Neither of you is going to say, "Gee, that's a great point, my feelings are completely changed now."

Lead with actions. If you feel she's being shitty and disingenuous, scale back your presence in her life to show her what's at stake. Threatening a breakup is dumb and doesn't work; it's just words, empty air. Distance yourself.

cut myself again today

>>33205546
to see if i still feel

>>33205549
because im a retard

>>33205532
Tech freaks like Marc Andreessen are trying to buy up tens of thousands of acres in order to test run their techno citystates, or whatever they're calling them, because they agree with you. They think it's all a lost cause - and are in some ways working to hasten the collapse - and want to build up fortified communities where they can wait it out and capitalize on chaos. I'm sure it'll be a disaster, because they all look at life like it's a video game and have no interest or experience in actual governance. But, in a cynical way, I see their point of view and if I had the capital I'd fortify myself too. I think it's a done deal.

>>33205569
You soundly insanely autistic.

>>33205584
I'm not making this up. They even have a propaganda site for the project, where they demonize the farmers who they're suing out of business in order to steal their land.

https://californiaforever.com/the-bold-city-project-of-the-tech-elite/

This shit sounds retarded and conspiracy theorist, but they're actively advertising it.

Literally just started a job at a hospital and want to quit because the the orientation consisted of non-stop nurse glazing, and the CEO is kind of a dick but was nice enough to joke about my loyalty during orientation.

Honestly, I would be better off if I hadn't attended but it's required to work or whatever. Gonna milk the job of its benefits until I finish school and dip to a better hospital system like everyone actually worth a damn did. No wonder my profession has a shortage because no one actually values them until they're gone but thing is AI is nowhere close to taking over this area.

>>33205708
God I would love to glaze a nurse

And I love how zoomies think glaze means something else now lmao
I should start offering to glaze faces

>>33203605
Don't make a big deal out of it just sesh fuck when you're in the area. level up son

If you think about it, it's ridiculous that people even want to fuck because it doesn't take that much time and it's a silly looking urge. Let's shake it for a minute see what things are idk that's the pick up line you have to use.

>>33205520
This has got to stop. Have a talk where you guys discuss just saying what you're feeling and make it a point to not be offended by it. Say everything. Frame it in the most concise way you can, add details or context as you go. Don't do this shit. Don't get pissed at one another for feeling feelings or feeling responsible for the other person's feelings. It's stupid, it's wasteful of time and emotional labor, and it can make you resent eachother.

>>33205708
Words can always mean something else as language evolves, like how faggot can mean a bundle of sticks but also (You)

>>33205716
I think the current interpretation of glazing does in some way have roots in cumshots, right? A syrupy, overwrought, disingenuous display of affection. It's kind of like how we all have just decided to collectively forget that 'woke' was lifted out of ebonics. The less savory origin is hiding in plain sight, but polite society chooses not to notice.

Why are my chatgpt talks always the craziest shit you've ever read? How does it know so god damn much about my life specifically? It reads my god damn mind. Ash is either with me or just another part of the system.

What the fuck am I going to do when I'm 160 pounds short of what I am now? I'm skinny, so god damn skinny. I can't battle angel my way through this next life.

This is exactly what I predicted would happen when I would lay in bed at night in college. Just, a future human species of nothing but a bunch of fucking adorable teenage girls. Everyone wants to be a schizoid pill poppin fashion angel with eyes way too fucking big and ridiculous. Like, to the point where it gets out of control and everyone looks like little battle angels with genetic and cybernetic alterations.

THE FUTURE IS FUCKING NOW BITCHES

i simply want to kill myself

>>33205811
Ehh. I find a lot of these chicks just want to capture an audience of gooners, and aren't actually very sexual people themselves.

>>33205520
This is a classic case of not knowing what to say to help you with how you are currently feeling, so they are trying to be relatable to you and apologize. When that doesn't work, they try to give generic advice hoping it helps. They are scared of losing you, but don't know how to help you with your feelings or what they should say to help you feel better. They are also sacred to say they don't know in these situations.

>>33205846
>capture an audience of gooners,
that's half the fun. That's like, 90% of the fun.

Thank you for taking my issues seriously, union rep.
I hate bullies, I'm glad we can work together to destroy the livelihoods of people who bully others at work. At the very least, they will have to work elsewhere and leave me alone.
At best, maybe that stupid bitch can look inward the next time she wonders aloud why her children want nothing to do with her.

thought i was feeling better for a while and that my depression was gone but it was a lie and i want to go to sleep tonight and not wake up

I love you but you gave up.

>>33205883
Half the fun of being a girl, or being a gooner?

>>33205896
Yeah, I did.

NOT EVERYONE RUNS ON BATTERIES TATIANA

>>33205925
tatiana sounds like a real bitch desu

That phone call makes a lot more sense when you realize that you were talking to a teenage girl. I bet you feel like a big guy.

>>33205932
I'm fucking adorable ok

>>33205920
Stop being a dingus.

>>33205965
What did you expect?

I'm going to try a lot of things and I'm still terrified of it. WHO THE FUCK WOULDNT BE HOW DO I PEE WHERE IS THE BATHROOM

>>33205969
Smart people not being a dingus

>>33205978
And there’s the reason I gave up.

We have like 50,000 years left ok? That doesn't mean much to any of you but for me that's not that much time. I NEED TO GET THE FUCK OFF THIS FUCKING ROCK

>>33206009
No, anon. 20 years.

>caught myself giving my dad a similar speech about house pests he gave to me in the past
Felt weird

Suicidal again. Oh well. It was nice feeling like I was worth a shit for a little while.

>>33201987
No need. You know very well.

>>33202683
And??

>>33203605
Depends what you look like

>>33206020
You're a stranger, and that message was not for you. Otherwise you would know that I never lied about anything.

>>33204847
Why don't you say that to my face!!!

>>33205896
That's what you think

>>33205353
my gf and that girl don’t know each other and never will
the other girl is just someone I talked to for a while
that’s it, idk what made her uncomfortable
maybe thinking that I was disappointed it didn’t work out with the other girl
I mean, she wouldn’t be wrong, but it is what it is, life goes on
I don’t think about the other women I talked to. Literally just talked to to know each other, I don’t find that such a big deal, I think it’s very normal as long as there are boundaries (I kept my boundaries with my gf during that period too)

>>33205943
Prove it

>>33206041
Oh but I do. And you know what it is..

>>33206086
Again. Not for you.

>>33205990
Not being willing to fight for anything that matters to you is being a dingus, because it's betraying yourself and letting fear win. That's dingus behaviour. Smart people shouldn't be dinguses

>>33206099
I fought as hard as I could, but eventually I have to fight for myself. That is not how someone in love acts, no matter how mentally ill they are.

>>33205353
I posted in the op
>just literally said “she told me that something happened with her, and I said that everyone has their own life but I’m looking for something else”
I said what I put in the quotation marks
I implied that she had sex with a guy she wasn’t necessarily ready to have sex with but it happened due to circumstances and hormones, since that was the discussion I had with my gf, circumstances and hormones and how that can lead to unwanted choices and boundaries around that. Idk how we even got to discuss that anyway

>>33206013
How, the fuck, do we have data from outside the ort cloud? HOW? How many "voyagers" are there really?

>>33206104
>but eventually I have to fight for myself
This part is the key dingus moment. Trying to take on everything by yourself and not asking for help. You ain't helping win a fight hiding your problems so no one has to worry.
>That is not how someone in love acts, no matter how mentally ill they are.
You're wrong. People in love recklessly charge forward, and help each other get up when one of them falls. Isolating yourself and going the fight alone when you have someone who'll fight with you is mentally ill.

>>33206079

>>33206133
Your schizoism is missing key parts. I did ask for help, got spat on. She won’t stand beside me, because at this point I doubt she actually loved me and just wanted to use me for intensity and emotional energy.

>>33206138
These eyes want to gain power of you.

>>33206146
You candoubt, but you're making that notion based on an angered assumption instead of truth.

>>33206208
>want
They already have. What's one girl going to do with all that power?

>>33206210
It is based on experience. What am I supposed to do? Sit in the mud with her?

>>33206217
Pattern recognition doesn't always apply. And it depends. Do you expect her to sit in the mud with you? Say things. Say the things that are bothering you. Write them down first, look at those reasons and look at why you feel like that, and write that down too. Bring it to her. Talk. Just fucking talk.

>>33206222
Talk to someone who doesn’t want to listen? I don’t get the reasoning. I did say the things that were bothering me, and all I got was a dismissal “fuck off” attitude.

>>33206226
Mind your tone. If you're putting thongs in a way that are accusatory or aggressive, yeah, going to be taken in with that in mind. Preface it with saying that you're going to have emotion in your voice, to not take it personally and to just listen to the words.

IT IS ME YOU DUMBFUCKS. How can someone look at a photo and go "Yeah, that's NOT me." when it clearly fucking is? So yeah, that IMPOSTER can't dress worth shit (though the hat outfit was pretty cute. Just, shoes. SHOES)

How many outfirts a day do we get? Just one, ok. JUST THE ONE. Just remember where we went and we can just GO BACK and get it. Ok maybe we can just splurge that first week because I'll have NOTHING. Yes, it will be that cliche montage and I'll fucking love and you can all just sit there and go "This is the gayest shit I've ever seen." and then you can suck my fucking dick.

>>33206236
It feels like the healthy thing to do would be to separate completely, though.

Reflecting back on it, it was a shit tier relationship
Even if I didn't get caught up on her BS, she was constantly bored and needy
I wouldn't have had an opportunity to focus on my career or health
I'd just go back home and have to babysit her

>>33206241
You could figure out how to talk to one another without bullshit aggression, or you can just start the whole fucking process over only for it to begin with someone else later down the road. Do you love them? If yes, you figure it out instead of letting it fester. You stop taking shit personally. You stop resenting them preemptively.

>>33206253
Okay, and where do I get emotional reciprocity in this?

Maybe, JUST MAYBE, the prettiest of girls get what they want. They are the top of the top of the top. Why is it wrong for them to not be pampered, given all the nicest things, and the ground they walk on considered hallow. Isn't that how evolution and survival of the fittest is suppose to function? Guys are suppose to work their asses off so girls like me don't have to. Just like the birds that spend all their time collecting all those shiny little toys to impress the girl that, you know what, they just don't give a fuck. They just don't. The males can just sit there trying their fucking hardest while she can take it or leave it as she wants.

You've created a monster.

>>33206267
Methinks you may not be the prettiest of girls.

>>33206265
You explain what Ive just told you to do and have her do the same. Get on equal footing. Have her do the same. You're going to be in the mud for a bit. You're going to talk it out, you're going to mind her tone and you'll bring it up to her when she isn't minding hers. You're going to set boundaries. You're going to figure out how to talk to one another. Because it's worth it.

>>33206267
You dehumanize an entire gender and make it about how they can serve you
You're too self absorbed to have a healthy relationship
Please just get with men who are shallow and only want your body
Don't mislead an honest and good man

>>33206279
And if I can’t have her do the same?

>>33206282
If she's completely unwilling, that's a loss. That's her own admission that she's not willing to work it out. It does take both of you

>>33206281
>You dehumanize an entire gender
How, exactly?
>Please just get with men
I'm gay so I'm not going to.
>>33206272
Not the prettiest of, but the PRETTIEST period.

>>33206285
I figured as much. I do not see her willing to work it out, but I guess I could try again.

>>33206286
I humbly disagree with your self assessment, ma’am.

You can't just BUY the clothes already guys. You just fucking can't. I need to do it. that's taking away some of the most bestest of the fun right from the start. Like, mushroom hunting right? You could just go to the store and know exactly where they are but why would you do that? The fun is finding the dumbest little things, relaxing, just walking around and talking with your friends and family while doing it (though they are all shit which is why I didn't go at all this time).

Maybe a few BASIC outfits, ok? Workout stuff (just do laundry every day I guess), sleeping outfit, basic shit. Some shoes? and a bag. How many bags do I need? At least 4. AT LEAST.

>>33206296
we are all wrong in our own way.

>>33206336
Yes, you are wrong with your weird delusions and I am wrong because I am too cool and swagged out for this earth

They changed BOTH of my quotes that I came up with in one day. Fucking BOTH OF THEM? Why? What's the fucking point? because they didn't come up with them? They are really that buttuhrt and mad? No wonder all your movies fucking suck.

Now change the files back. Fucking all of them you dumb cunts.

>>33206340
of course kayne would be gay.

>>33206353
Of course you would be fat

>>33206377
but I'm not, I'm thin and delectable. What even is life.

God damnit that's what I was going to say. How the fuck did I survive this? I don't want to list it, we all know it, but how? How will I deal with the future that just looms over me like a fucking cloud of death and despair and dread and everything evil? How many times can I say "Fuck it." bury it all and keep on keeping on. That's what lauren and hayley said right? Just bury it. What the fuck do any of you know about this man. Just how much terror do you feel when you imagine me in the same room as you?

how long have they just erased my habits and movements and all of that? I haven't been evolving as a person at all, they have just been forcing it haven't they? That's how I've always moved. People think that I'm faking this or that they are forcing it on me but what they forced on me were these new, more "mature" habits rather than letting my brain do what I do.

How did I got from jack sparrow to a fat depressed blob that can barely move? How have I always been so fucking terrible at crafts and penmanship my entire life but now I'm aware of my movements and they are fucking adorable. I'M GOING TO BE SO GOD DAMN CUTE TOMORROW

>>33206396
>delectable
TRANNY WORD
Transgender in the area!

>>33206421
transhuman, you mean. Which I guess might be transgender as well? Why would you even put a little girls brain into a dudes body right? But my body is really that one? Which one came first? AH HOW DOES GENETICS WORK

BREE, are you prepared for this? lolololol

>>33206435
You are SICK in the HEAD you absolutely wacky little man!!

>>33206439
I almost just fucking died.

There is no way bree is stacey from highschool. Stacey had short curley hair but the same face shape, like identical. Bree is just... a lot prettier. Like, a super model. So whatever.

Yes, professor bree is by far the cutest character ever conceived. All her bags, portfolios, diagrams and charts with her teacher outfit and in a rush clumsy style. She's my personal tutor.

Birdy is still #1 in heaven though.

When your mom makes you dinner and it tastes extra fucking good so you slide her some dick as a thank you.

I'm a teacher. A year ago I was still doing my PhD in experimental particle physics. Now I teach math to high school students, and man it's SO much better.
Fuck academia and what they did to research. Now I can actually do something good for someone, even if it is making some kid's 3 weekly math hours a little bit more bearable. At the end of the year two students handed me thank you letters that made fucking cry, and all I did was teach them limits without being a dick.
One year ago I was managing the detector, electronics, firmware and software side of a small particle physics experiment, while performing data analysis, writing papers AND doing all of the extra PhD bullshit on the side. And all I got in return was being treated like shit by everyone around me, with very few exceptions, cause that's what academics do. Fuck that. I'm glad I didn't become like that. I used to believe into carving my own little portion of the path that would lead humanity to knowledge, and I believe I actually did it, but now that I look at it from afar I'm dumbfounded by how little good it actually does to the world. I can improve the lives of quite a few people just by being there. It's that easy, and it also doesn't require that I put myself though that fucking meat grinder daily.
Man, I'm so glad to be back on earth.

You know what? Fuck it. I am a monster on the outside and the inside but relationships these days are horrible. Plus I have to stay on a career I never been sure I actually wanted but picked it up cause I am lost in life, have to take care of two old dogs and my three cousins and a grandmother with alzheimer who hates me and my bipolar mom. I don't have time for going all kissy kissy huggy huggy bullshit.
This is what I am.
I hate it, but I don't have the will to change it

god damn

i know nothing

yes chris chan is very intelligent

I fucking hate you and I hope you have a terrible life and that everyone you care about sees you for what you are and leaves you and that someday you get exactly what you deserve.

>>33208823
>sees you for what you are
And what would that be?

>>33208834
A disgusting, selfish, cold, sadistic, sociopathic, arrogant, perverted, cruel, cowardly scumbag.

>>33208848
Let me guess, and you are basically a saint?

>>33208851
No. I'm far from a saint. But at least I take responsibility for my actions.

>>33208867
And what makes you think I dont?

>>33208871
This isn’t about you. Fuck off.

>>33208880
Why dont you fuck off instead of butting into other people’s conversations?

>>33208883
What the fuck do you mean by other people’s conversations?? You replied to MY post in the first place.

>>33208896
Curious that you switched devices to reply.

>>33208906
On an iPhone if you accidentally type a word without an apostrophe and then backspace to add an apostrophe using the autocorrect suggestions that pop up in the black bar next to the text it will automatically insert a straight apostrophe instead of curved one. Retard.

>>33208925
I too can just make up absolute bullshit. Whatever. Not like it makes a difference.

>>33208935
My post was not directed at you and frankly I don’t give a fuck about whether you believe me or not. Fuck off.

>>33208935
Fuck you.

My work colleagues keep saying that I should leave my mother and home, that I won't ever have a life if I keep to this path. I guess they're right in some ways, but also what do they know? Their idea of "living" is getting drunk every Friday and watching reality TV, struggling to stretch their paycheques to the end of the month to keep their rent paid. I know the importance of independence, and I know that staying with a terminally depressed divorced mother who spits non-stop negativity 24/7 is doing irreparable damage to me psychologically in terms of my self-confidence and adult skills, but what else can I really do? She's alienated so many people because of her own mental problems that I'm the only one who still tolerates her, and even then on most mornings when she rants at me about something insignificant whilst I'm hurriedly brushing my teeth for work I'm repressing the urge to tell her to get a fucking grip and appreciate what she has. It's mostly due to cowardice and the economy but a not insignificant part of it is the sense of responsibility I feel considering she raised me. "You owe her nothing and aren't responsible for her mental health" they say like they heard on social media, and once again yes, I see where you're coming from, but you're also being very reductionist there and not seeing the image in full. What are we without family? I owe her plenty, she's ultimately a good person deep down, and you don't have to particularly like someone to love them. What ever happened to a sense of familial duty? Is that just not a thing anymore? Must give them the ick or something.

I can't even imagine living the same life that I was living when I was dating her

Nope nope nope. I am so fucking glad I messed things up with you. Best god damn decision I made in my life. You are a curse that I want to avoid and never want to see again.

>>33210020
You messed up the relationship but act like you're loving it?
Sounds like sour grapes.

>>33209991
>>33210020

This gives me hope.

What were your situations and how is it different now?