I find that my body betrays me when I talk on hard subjects and tears form in my eyes. Anyone else with this problem and how to solve it?

>>33201491 (OP)
You need to stop fucking thinking about it as weakness NOW. It is shame. Please be kinder to yourself, and more patient.

>>33201491 (OP)
I did therapy for this+related problems and the only thing that helped me was admitting how embarrassed and ashamed I felt from even having emotions. I think a lot of this comes from your parents not acknowledging or accepting u had emotions or free will growing up. Ymmv.

imagine being so weak that you think expressing emotions besides anger is a weakness lmao

>>33201535
This is in response to all the answers: I do not understand your points. I understand shame. I feel shame when my eyes water. How do I make my eyes not water when I feel for others? It seems automatic, the lack of control disturbs me.

>>33201685
reduce feelings of shame or make peace with not having all the control all the time. the more you try to mentally slap your emotions away the worse it gets

>>33201695
No. To reduce control is to invite chaos. What I want is to stop portraying weakness when I speak on things I care about.

Is there a way to quench my emotions so they don't intrude on my life? Besides cauterizing my tear ducts.

>>33201747
Nope. You’ve got it all mixed up dude, that’s a shit take .
Emotions are your life. the sooner you stop trying to push them away, and learn to manage them is how you gain control.

>punctal cautery
do not attempt, enjoy the third degree burns dingus

>>33201773\
Have you learned to control your emotions? Tell me about yourself and your situation because I am dubious.

>>33201830
I don’t “control my emotions”; I let myself have emotions, and I let them pass, instead of casting them aside in rejection.
If you can’t feel what you need to it will fester and you will suffer more than you planned. t oldfag

>>33201865
I would think that would leave you empty. Without control, you are a slave and a slave does not build value. What do you have? If your system works, what have you achieved and/or what is your progress?

>>33201912
how does it leave you empty? are you even reading what i’m saying
It’s balanced
There is no system
It’s just life without rejecting what i honestly feel. just responding without creating more suffering by not accepting shit

A slave? Literally wtf even are you even on about?
>>33201912
degree, career, social ties, relationship, some degree of inner peace (most of the time)

>>33201830
I have previously suppressed my emotions and ended up in hospital for a year because those emotions ended up turning into physical pain.
Look I get you. Emotions are so scary and shameful. This is an idea you need to fight not tears. Your feelings are part of you, they are your brain telling you to act. You are trying to hide from way more substantial pain of rejection by others. You cry on hard topics because you already predict that no one will listen.
Here is my suggestion. You need to just train more doing that, talking openly about whatever you mean under "hard topics". If necessary, take some pills or mind toxins to just get over it. You need to face the reality that being emotionless stoic is not who you are. And it's not a problem. A more classic stoicism tells us to control only that which we can control and not preoccupy our minds with things that we can. If you are just naturally sensitive person, you cannot control that but here is what you can choose: your intentions, how you treat others, your ideals. Let's say you have anger issues and lash out, then just apologize and make up for it. If you are sad, let yourself cry and rest so that you can recover and move on.
Emotions are not weakness, but natural reactions to our environments. It's the fear of them that is the real weakness.

>>33201945
I wish we could have a face to face talk.

Yes, I do read what you are typing,

No, you do control your emotions. You compensate for them. Thats fine. How do I copy you without tears?

>>33201491 (OP)
It's anxiety. Or at least anxiety exacerbates it. My hearing starts to muffle, heart rate increases, throat feels tight. Like an allergic reaction to having an accidental emotional display

>>33201491 (OP)
The only way to 'solve' it is to remain compartmentalized. That's what that is btw. You spend years and decades in your own head, living in thoughts, maybe even establishing a false-self, a mentalized copy of your ego that you genuinely believe is (you).

And it feels perfect to equip and identify as, after all, thoughts have no feelings. Means you get to be nice and cold and emotionless.

Except it isn't (you). The real you comes out when you start to actually speak the hard shit. And because you've suppressed a lifetime of pain, it pours out like opening up a dam of water.

Let the dam burst nigga. Because if you suppress water for too long, it got stagnant and it becomes poisoned. You become sick and dead on the inside. Running flowing water purifies itself.

Just let it out nigga. It's not gonna kill you.

>>33201945
>>33202010
Not OP. We have to be a bit real here. People say the sorts of things you're saying online, but reality is it just doesn't translate into real life. You go about being in touch with your emotions and shit like that, you're just going to wind up being the town fag.
>what other people think doesn't matter :^)
have fun being isolated, mocked, and alone.

>>33202116
>Have fun being isolated, mocked, alone
Anon, that's what living dead people do to themselves anyway, the people who fear their own feelings.

They are already isolated (disconnected from other people emotionally), they are already mocked (by themselves in their ceaseless self-hatred ruminations), and they are already alone (again, disconnected to the point they still feel alone even in the company of others).

If you wanna be a 'bit real' let's go all the way and be Real with an 'R'. The emotionally dead become their own tormentor. They died inside because people killed them, that's why they suppressed to survive whatever shit they dealt with. But the painful twist is they take their abuser's place and torture themselves in their absence. And the devil laughs.

>>33202010
It was my mistake to ask for advice here.

>>33202116
> have fun being isolated, mocked, and alone.

The real thing though, other people are just not actually worth it. They won't offer you anything that will be able to compensate for you rejecting yourself. It's not worth pandering to them.
You are likely already isolated and alone. Hence why you have this fear in the first place. So your strategy doesn't work in the roots. Your need to connect is not met. It will never be met unless you change how you approach the issue.

>>33202149
I gave you a practical advice to solve crying specifically. No way around fears but to face them head on. Stop being a coward. It's not "manly" and it's not you being in "control".

>>33201491 (OP)
"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."

1 John 4:18

>Fear has to do with punishment
Open your eyes, OP. Notice the pattern.
>Have fun being mocked, isolated, alone
>Fear has to do with punishment.

You connecting the dots?

>>33202149
this advice is literally the result of 10+ years of processing this shit kid, if you don’t listen it’s on you.
typical fucking / adv/
>gets world wisened advice from oldfags who have solved the problem
>not even the beginning of comprehension
whatever man

>>33202239
Lmao. Not OP but I relate to the futility of trying to give advice. I'm also an oldfag. I overcame childhood PTSD and a lifetime of depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation and tremendous brain fog and not even knowing my own feelings at all.

I vividly remember people trying to give me advice and swatting it away. It'd go in one of my ears and out the other.
Surely you were similar when you were in your malaise?

Miserable people secretly want it. That's the truth of it, I know it cuz that's what I know of myself in retrospect. I ignored advice because deep down I wanted to stay miserable. Because it's familiar, it's all I'd known since childhood. The thought of existing without it was weird, uncomfortable, uncertain, and summoned fear. Fear was what I wanted to avoid, and the shroud of misery ironically cloaked me from fear. I didn't wanna lose that cloak.

Plato's cave my nigga. People in the cave don't wanna leave their confinement because they fear the light outside. They prefer the shadows on the wall.

>>33202179
I will address you directly. Your advice is to talk through emotions. Awful idea. Emotions are chaotic and transitive. You offered no advice with whom I should reveal myself to, Which should have been the main focus of your treatment. In addition you prescribed the using of substances to sublimate and make the ordeal easier.

You offer bad advice.