Anonymous
6/21/2025, 4:45:53 PM No.33254248
Hello
TLDR : I need help to glow up to be a better person as a gay closeted depressed for 4 years and verg of unlaliving myself guy = been waterboard from wanting to live and to die
So my life ain't easy bc partly to daddy and mommy issues. My parents always had and still have a very bad temper which resolted to me getting physical punishments at each mistakes that I made. Adding to the fact they're very religious and homophobic.
And guess what I am gay (very) and depressed. I'm stuck a college doing a math major, not bc I love math but only I want a job to flee them. Also math is the only good thing that I'm good at even if I hate it.
Loneliness. I don't have friends since little, had crushs but never had a boyfriend. It's maybe depression. Feeling like giving up on life, as if I was cursed since birth. And awfully meds don't work. Feeling like I am bad at everything I like and I don't like = Bad at everything and hating myself as much A.M hate humanity.
Plus there is not gay social place near me. And who want to hang out with a doomer like me.
Don't have a job not because of will but because everyone establishment rejects my job application (fuck my life)
I don't have time for hobbies. The only things that I do is going to the gym to lift and a bitdrawing
I go to gym not only for being healthy and the boys but also to be able to stand up against my parents in case they try to be violent. Neverless I don't have the body of a regular fit guy (maybe bc I don't have the money for protein powders and shaker).
As for drawing. It's just that they're bad. When I was little I wanted to be an artist but awfully I've been forced to stop due to lack of time and parental pressure. And my drawing aren't good I'm lost at where to start and being satisfy with the shit I do (perfectionnism I inherit from mom and dad; fuck them). Don't worry I've been to /ic/.
What should I do to glow up or to get better ?
TLDR : I need help to glow up to be a better person as a gay closeted depressed for 4 years and verg of unlaliving myself guy = been waterboard from wanting to live and to die
So my life ain't easy bc partly to daddy and mommy issues. My parents always had and still have a very bad temper which resolted to me getting physical punishments at each mistakes that I made. Adding to the fact they're very religious and homophobic.
And guess what I am gay (very) and depressed. I'm stuck a college doing a math major, not bc I love math but only I want a job to flee them. Also math is the only good thing that I'm good at even if I hate it.
Loneliness. I don't have friends since little, had crushs but never had a boyfriend. It's maybe depression. Feeling like giving up on life, as if I was cursed since birth. And awfully meds don't work. Feeling like I am bad at everything I like and I don't like = Bad at everything and hating myself as much A.M hate humanity.
Plus there is not gay social place near me. And who want to hang out with a doomer like me.
Don't have a job not because of will but because everyone establishment rejects my job application (fuck my life)
I don't have time for hobbies. The only things that I do is going to the gym to lift and a bitdrawing
I go to gym not only for being healthy and the boys but also to be able to stand up against my parents in case they try to be violent. Neverless I don't have the body of a regular fit guy (maybe bc I don't have the money for protein powders and shaker).
As for drawing. It's just that they're bad. When I was little I wanted to be an artist but awfully I've been forced to stop due to lack of time and parental pressure. And my drawing aren't good I'm lost at where to start and being satisfy with the shit I do (perfectionnism I inherit from mom and dad; fuck them). Don't worry I've been to /ic/.
What should I do to glow up or to get better ?