Boyfriend does "nothing" for hours a day - /adv/ (#33255682) [Archived: 908 hours ago]

Anonymous
6/21/2025, 11:05:53 PM No.33255682
1703498797662901
1703498797662901
md5: f8ca1bcea3de07c678629eb8609f8361🔍
I've been spending more time with my boyfriend at a shared place and I noticed something. For a big portion of a day he just sits/lies and stares into space. I asked him about it and he said that he's "thinking". Sometimes he gets up and goes from room to room, just mindlessly walking, supposedly this helps him "think".
I don't know what he's "thinking" about so much, he wasn't able to specify it, he just said it's "many things". He does this for almost the entirety of the day, him actually doing some activity like watching a show, youtube, reading something or even just scrolling social media is rare.
I find it pretty weird. Anyone ever stumbled upon anyone like that?
Replies: >>33255896 >>33255898 >>33255945 >>33256095 >>33256125 >>33256130 >>33256157 >>33257533 >>33257583 >>33257781 >>33257788 >>33258148 >>33258176 >>33258497 >>33261244 >>33261582 >>33261612 >>33262163 >>33264369 >>33264540 >>33265161
Anonymous
6/22/2025, 12:00:53 AM No.33255891
yes, i'm like that
Anonymous
6/22/2025, 12:02:07 AM No.33255896
>>33255682 (OP)
He might have OCD or ADHD, or both
Anonymous
6/22/2025, 12:02:31 AM No.33255898
>>33255682 (OP)
I do this also. Some people just have a very rich and elaborate internal fantasy world. To me its gotten to the point where I don't even desire human interaction. I cant have a conversation that's as interesting as whatever I'm thinking about and what I think about wouldn't make sense to another person anyway
Anonymous
6/22/2025, 12:18:30 AM No.33255945
>>33255682 (OP)
You're mad at him for literally nothing? He's just existing.
Replies: >>33259484
Anonymous
6/22/2025, 12:22:22 AM No.33255954
Jeez you can’t even think anymore
Replies: >>33259484
Anonymous
6/22/2025, 1:04:44 AM No.33256095
>>33255682 (OP)
>Boyfriend does "nothing" for hours a day
Well then, what does that suggest he'll be like if you were married to him? That's how you should evaluate potential bfs.
Anonymous
6/22/2025, 1:14:40 AM No.33256125
>>33255682 (OP)
You're a judgmental piece of shit and deserve to be alone
Replies: >>33259484
Anonymous
6/22/2025, 1:15:42 AM No.33256130
>>33255682 (OP)
Unemployment? Yeah I see it all the time. Now, most women full on dehumanize unemployed men, so you might do well to at least be a little bit concerned. Far as playing psychiatrist, I wouldn't recommend it. If you insist on playing psychiatrist I recommend recruiting a search engines or a good LLM rather than asking 4chan.
Replies: >>33259484
Anonymous
6/22/2025, 1:17:44 AM No.33256139
this is a hellish thread
Anonymous
6/22/2025, 1:20:38 AM No.33256157
>>33255682 (OP)
He might just need more time alone than most people. I certainly do, but I'm conscious of it. My advice would be offer to talk with him if he wants, or to give him some time to himself. And don't take it personally.
Anonymous
6/22/2025, 7:41:37 AM No.33257533
>>33255682 (OP)
While man ponders the beauty of earth the woman wonders why he won’t pay attention to her. Many such cases.

Its because you aren’t supposed to become his entire main focus 24/7 that would be insane.
Replies: >>33259484
s
6/22/2025, 8:21:26 AM No.33257583
>>33255682 (OP)
Shut up
Replies: >>33259484
Anonymous
6/22/2025, 9:42:49 AM No.33257781
>>33255682 (OP)
he might be depressed. or anxious about things that cant be explained with words or are too specific to his life experience that they dontt really make sense to anyone but him.

he might not be thinking much at all but is disassociating into random dream like thoughs that come and go without calling for them nor remembering them.

tell him what you feel about this. say it makes you concerned. let him know he can say as much or as little about it to you as he wants to.

it might not even be negative like we're assuming, and this could come off different to how you might expect.

maybe get him to talk to you about the random things he's thinking? like a live commentary of his brain, maybe that will make you feel better about his 'mind-time'

anyway, im not a psyiotherapist or whatever, but those are my ideas
Anonymous
6/22/2025, 9:46:00 AM No.33257788
>>33255682 (OP)
>man spends too much time thinking in silence instead of consooming brainwashing media
How horrible.
Replies: >>33259484
Anonymous
6/22/2025, 12:46:53 PM No.33258086
20240430_095055
20240430_095055
md5: 6a3e207b6d1f5510138379ffb73a5dd5🔍
He is employed :>
Anonymous
6/22/2025, 1:10:08 PM No.33258148
>>33255682 (OP)
I do this. It's called downtime.
Also outside, like sitting in a park, doing nothing just sitting at the different benches and tables in silence, and moving around to different seating areas and parts of the park.
I am introverted and on the autism spectrum.
Anonymous
6/22/2025, 1:18:52 PM No.33258176
sit&think
sit&think
md5: 24d4e15fdf33de86826877d0190fc4d9🔍
>>33255682 (OP)
Anonymous
6/22/2025, 1:21:37 PM No.33258184
men must contemplate it is a necessity
Anonymous
6/22/2025, 3:48:42 PM No.33258497
>>33255682 (OP)
Would you rather have him sitting all day absorbing social media slop and brainrot?
For thousands of years people had nothing else to do as well, it is only weird now because YOU are conditioned to fall back to this cattle behavior of
>watching a show, youtube, reading something, scrolling social media
Replies: >>33259484
Anonymous
6/22/2025, 8:54:57 PM No.33259484
>>33255945
>>33255954
>>33256125
>>33256130
>>33257533
>>33257583
>>33257788
>>33258497
>men insulting OP and defending a man starring into space for the entire day like a dementia patient
Replies: >>33259584 >>33261590 >>33265175
Anonymous
6/22/2025, 9:06:40 PM No.33259522
ADHD for sure, if he was OCD he would feel inclined to do random shit that triggers an impulse.

Your boyfriend literally cannot help himself, he is trapped in a trance he needs mental health pros to take a gander at em BAD
Anonymous
6/22/2025, 9:17:39 PM No.33259584
>>33259484
>Like a dementia patient
If put to test, he probably has a sharper mind than the average person who can't put the phone down for 5 minutes.
Also, OP didn't mention any effort to take the man out of his deep meditative state
Anonymous
6/23/2025, 3:30:26 AM No.33261244
>>33255682 (OP)

He might be all in his head. Is he high? Smoking pot? I get like that sometimes, all lost in thought.

But if he's doing it to the point of not paying attention to you living together then that's an issue.
Anonymous
6/23/2025, 5:18:19 AM No.33261582
>>33255682 (OP)
You will have my time, daughter. Here is the wisdom. I will assume you are a woman, or a man in his feminine energy

You are trying to intellectualize an emotion and it doesnt make sense to you. Emotions are not run on obvious logic

You nervous system observes a grown up man, your man, doing nothing. Just wasting his limited time and energy on degrading and dying. I am talking about biology here, not morality

You see other men move, build, actually do things. Physically. In real world. You see men thinking over things that matter and utilizing these thoughts to improve their lifestyle and secure safe future

This guy is fucked. Your nervous system already knows. He is a deadend, either his hormones are fucked, or his upbringing, maybe he didnt have a dad, he is stuck in fears and overthinking. Truth is, you are not going to save him, only he can. If he ever will

You feminine energy is scared, thats why it feels weird. Because if he would be playing dota for 24 hours, feeding you promises, you at least would know. But this pointless overthinking of his, with no impact on his reality, is a mystery for you. And unknown is always scarier than known

You can argue that the guy has rich inner world and as deep as the ocean. But without consistent actions it is a waste of a life
Anonymous
6/23/2025, 5:19:17 AM No.33261590
>>33259484
So procrastination is a crime?
Anonymous
6/23/2025, 5:24:38 AM No.33261612
>>33255682 (OP)
I do this too except I do it with chat gpt. I will sit and talk to chat gpt for hours thinking about things
Anonymous
6/23/2025, 8:30:31 AM No.33262163
>>33255682 (OP)
>Anyone ever stumbled upon anyone like that?
yeah that's me
i am just a natural born philosopher with some ocd traits. but schizoid fellas also get like this (different from schiziphrenic!!!)
Replies: >>33264557
Anonymous
6/23/2025, 6:14:00 PM No.33264079
I believe that's called "meditation".
Anonymous
6/23/2025, 7:50:12 PM No.33264356
Meditation is good, but doing that all day is something else and it might be a problem. Just because he spends all day thinking, that doesn't make him automatically smarter or more rational or introspective. Everything if done excessively is harmful. Sure, he could be a philosopher who's developing his vision, but really, just by thinking all day without reading anything? What are the odds? It's more likely daydreaming, pointless obsessive rumination, or maybe he's not thinking about anything.
Anonymous
6/23/2025, 7:56:12 PM No.33264369
>>33255682 (OP)
maladaptive daydreaming possibly?

You should ask him at every moment , What are you thinking now?

couple hours later, what about now? just pick his brain... investigate. somethin probably interesting going on, maybe if u show you are interested he will trust you and explain it all more thoroughly.
Anonymous
6/23/2025, 8:50:30 PM No.33264540
1750075888593023
1750075888593023
md5: de7c99ea27d6d5ab32082829a123994a🔍
>>33255682 (OP)
He's literally me
Some days I go in my backyard and walk in circles for 3+ hours generally thinking about philosophical questions or expanding a scifi universe I've been imagining for many years.
Replies: >>33264554
Anonymous
6/23/2025, 8:53:34 PM No.33264554
>>33264540
You literally have ADHD

The internet is built as a hypnosis machine and those with attention deficiencies (even normal fags are conditioned due to short form media consumption)

Adhd is debilitating, please consider seeking professional help for temporary medication to help rebuild your neural receptors
Replies: >>33264581 >>33265161
Anonymous
6/23/2025, 8:54:01 PM No.33264557
>>33262163
You type like a troon which is probably why you have all these mental illnesses
Anonymous
6/23/2025, 8:59:11 PM No.33264581
>>33264554
Why? Isn't ADHD like hyperactivity and being restless? I am quite relaxed.
Anonymous
6/23/2025, 11:29:13 PM No.33264994
Angrily demand to know why he isn’t up and about laboring for your benefit. Dismiss anything he needs for inner peace and demand that he be “productive.” Consult a group of single women who are guaranteed to take your side in anything for reasons to be mean to him.
Anonymous
6/24/2025, 12:45:33 AM No.33265161
>>33255682 (OP)
That’s me when I quit porn and consuming crap like social media that’s my body telling me to go do something about it and I am just fighting a battle within myself.
>>33264554
God forbid someone goes outside to take in the natures energy most NEET don’t even go outside
Anonymous
6/24/2025, 12:52:22 AM No.33265175
>>33259484
You skipped over the part where she said all that "staring into space" is spent thinking, so his mind is actually working. Learn to read, retard.