I had a really hard reality check recently.
I was at a tattoo convention (yeah I know you fags all hate tattoos just bear with me) and in the conversation with the artist, who was younger than me, I realized he was everything that I wanted to be and just stumbled into it.

Guy is a very popular and well known artist. Self-employed, makes money doing what he wants. Is a big figure in the local music scene that I am a part of. In multiple bands. Travels a lot. Has a dream car, like old JDM perfection. Not trying to fag out but I was bewildered.

You ask people like that how they did it, how they knew what they wanted to do, how they resisted the urge to slack off, how they made time to do all that shit at the same time, how they just have the ability to get up and travel when some of them are broke.
Seems like people are always getting up to shit, connecting, getting involved in the local scenes, doing something fun, bucket list shit. All while I feel like I don't get to do anything I really want until I have years of stability under my belt. It doesn't help that my close friends are terminally online gamer incels that don't do anything fun most of the time.
My high school friends are travelling, starting businesses, becoming figures in their local communities, doing something worth giving a fuck about.

>>33280150 (OP)
The mistake youre making is thinking its without trying. Normies try very hard consistently and things happen for them. I was monologuing to someone a few weeks ago I said theres a lot of people in positions they dont deserve to be in because they had the audacity to try, to ask, to go for it

>>33280150 (OP)
>My high school friends are travelling, starting businesses, becoming figures in their local communities, doing something worth giving a fuck about.
I won't read threads that answer their own question.

>>33280150 (OP)
I have friends that are like that tattoo artists and let me tell you:
if they get sick and need to pay an expensive surgery they might as well be dead
every paycheck they ever receive goes towards everything you named: travels, a cute car, conventions, etc
sometimes they owe money to friends and family. Some of my friends who live that lifestyle owe me money.
Yes they might be hardworking but then again how do they have the time to be very active in the music scene of your city if they are working to pay for their travels and cars etc
anyways they are also making contacts all the time, a tattoo saloon is a good place to overhear about a music event in another city or a promo for early birds for x or y thing happening soon. Or they exchange tattoos for entrances to those events
you know what I mean, it's cool and I would certainly recommend the participating in social casual events like going an afternoon to the tattoo place just to chat with people and stay there overhearing about what everyone is up to but other than that those people are living on the verge, it's all fun and games until something serious happen and they don't have a dime under their name.
I also envied their life but I'm older now and I saw one of the dudes that lived like that 15 years ago nowadays only has a bike and sells random artisanal things made by himself in parks and squares, stuff like that
he pretended he didn't know me when he passed by me.

>>33280166
I find that when I ask people how they just find the opportunities to do this shit they say "I dunno it just happened man". Especially socially.
>oh how did you create your band
>i dunno man i met people at a show and it just happened
>how did you meet your girlfriend bro
>I dunno man we starting talking and it just happened

like what the fuck does that mean? I feel completely retarded. I feel like when I do shit its basically a solo experience. I do talk to people and try to socialize and make stuff happen, but even when I do have some success it never turns into anything interesting.
I think about this a lot when reading biographies of famous people. Like oh how did they get their big break or land this role? It's always social networking. They met someone somewhere who mattered or knew someone who did and were likable enough to be given that opportunity. I don't know anybody and I'm not likable, attractive, or notable enough for anyone to give a fuck.

Also as I specified, I'm also wondering how people just go out and do this shit with no resources, no plan, no safety net.

>I won't read threads that answer their own question.
The sentence you quoted is nearly the end of the post, so you did read it all.

>>33280150 (OP)
>Self-employed, makes money doing what he wants. Is a big figure in the local music scene that I am a part of. In multiple bands. Travels a lot.
I know that sounds cool and believe me I spent most of my life dreaming about that notion as well but the reality is way harsher.

There's no stability to your life, egos clash all the time, there's 0 privacy or time to relax, you don't know when the next time you'll be able to take a shower or even have a shit. Even if you make it big where you're doing cross country tours and top tier music festivals you still have to share a single-toilet (no shitting) bus with 8 other people stacked in sleeping bunks like a bunch of indian students. And when you're not at the top of music festivals you're still 8 guys except you're all jam fucked on top of each other along with all your gear inside of a single van.

Not saying you shouldn't follow your dreams, but make sure they're YOUR dreams and what makes you happy.

>>33280174
I know this is going to sound like the biggest faggot cope ever, but did they live more than you did?
It's what every washed up 40 year old says, but I wonder if the experiences and excitement of actually living on the edge for a while is worth not having much to show for it if it doesn't work out.
I'm a young artsy zoomer with big aspirations, so obviously I'm seduced by the "starving artist oh so heckin deep and meaningful and edgy" lifestyle.
I just don't want to wake up in 20 years in my stable lifestyle feeling completely empty. Like I never expressed anything that mattered to me. And then i'll work for 20 more years and finally in my 60s I can live and do the shit I want to. Seems gay to me.

>>33280205
I just don't know. There's something inside me that needs to create and shamelessly validation seek from other people via performance and art and shit. Like I want it bad. At the same time I don't know if I have the balls or the ability. People like that seem like go getters and social butterflies (even if they are antisocial people they still have to be around others 100% of the time) while I've been sitting in my room and going to work relatively inactive for my entire life.

>>33280223
I'm enjoying life way more than them but then again my family has more money than theirs and I'm starting to manage all of those assets, I would have to ask some other friends who are loaded and lived that lifestyle when young if they'd change it for anything, for now I'd say for the average dude it's a "live to the full, die young" kinda lifestyle
and a lot happens in your 40s, specially if you took care of yourself and didn't ruin your knees skateboarding some 20 years ago lol

I don't understand either. I feel like I'm subhuman while other people are real human beings with souls. I'm so ashamed of myself and the shit life that I built that I don't even leave my house out of shame. I don't want anyone to see me

>>33280150 (OP)
ambition is a curse. Its the carrot and your holding the stick. The most enlightened of us aren't trying or not trying to live exciting lives. Get off the treadmill. Also maybe stop using toilet paper and get a bidet

>>33280150 (OP)
>My high school friends are travelling, starting businesses, becoming figures in their local communities, doing something worth giving a fuck about.
This all sounds like the exact opposite of "without trying" to me. If you truly want to do any of these things, what's stopping you?

>>33280150 (OP)
haha look at this guy he's gone and compared himself to others and now he's upset! but seriously though, hate to be the platitude guy but comparison really is the thief of joy. i should end my post here but you're obviously a guy who likes to try and rationalize everything so i'll try to play at your game. there will always always be guys that are better than you. i bet you looked at like what, 7 or so people whose lives are more fulfilling to than yours and just went "FUCK why is everyone doing so much better than me in life??". if you were to measure your fulfillment with life and compare to every single one of your classmates i'd bet you wouldn't be doing half bad. you've shown you're capable of self reflection (even if you suck as it), and you're socialized to go to a convention and talk to people. there's obviously people doing better than you but based on the information you've given i strongly feel like you're really not doing half bad.

>>33281657
>haha look at this guy he's gone and compared himself to others and now he's upset! but seriously though, hate to be the platitude guy but comparison really is the thief of joy. i should end my post here but you're obviously a guy who likes to try and rationalize everything so i'll try to play at your game. there will always always be guys that are better than you. i bet you looked at like what, 7 or so people whose lives are more fulfilling than yours and you just went "FUCK why is everyone doing so much better than me in life??". if you were to measure your fulfillment with life and compare it to every single one of your classmates i'd bet you wouldn't be doing half bad. you've shown you're capable of self reflection (even if you suck as it), and you're socialized enough to go to a convention and talk to people. there's obviously people doing better than you but based on the information you've given i strongly feel like you're really not doing half bad.

>>33281664
whoops didn't mean to greentext and quote my dead post. just wanted to make it coherent because i outright left out like 3 words. you get what im trying to say though. even if it's green.

Op it helps when you have family or friends that actually help you out.

My fathers a boomer "why don't you talk to me more".

Go to his house, talk to him get told "stop talking over the news".

So then I barely talk to him for months because why bother.

Cycle continues.


Some people's parents and relatives actually listen to what you say and try to help you with your dreams. People like me and some people perhaps you isn't so lucky.


Also not to say "woe is me" or anything but some of us never got any support NOTHING you do is good enough yet they're mediocre themselves.

It is what it is op, do your best, try to stay consistent and accept we don't get to choose to whom or where we are born.

Local in my country there are few clubs.

>>33281575
This is the exact feeling I have. Probably the first one in here to get what I'm saying. I guess it's not necessarily that they do it "without trying" but rather that their effort is natural and pays off immediately. There's just something naturally compelling them to connect and make shit happen, and shit happens like immediately for them. Feels like I'm artificially locked out of the best parts of the human experience.

>>33281664
You're completely right about comparison, but thats much easier said than done. I'm always going to compare myself to the social butterflies and well connected people because thats what I would have wanted to be. People know who they are and society gives them so much benefit.

Compared to most of the people on here, and even most of my close friends I am way more socially capable but I still don't do much with it. Its seems easy for others I guess while hardcore socializing leaves me feeling anxious and drained. I think thats why I never follow up and keep the friends I make. Scared of disappointing people with who I really am, or getting burned, or typical imposter syndrome "they only liked me cause I got lucky with how I presented myself, next time they'll see I'm an incompetent loser"

>>33281677
I definitely didn't and don't have anyone helping me out lol. I get it all from my family. They're so socially incapable and isolated it's crazy. Living at home, it never even felt like we were family, more like coinhabitants of the same unit. Get my shit and fuck off back to my room and stay out of the way. Current friends are really great and supportive, but also quite shut in aside from the occasional outing.

Thanks everyone for the advice.

>>33280150 (OP)
Normies have full support networks of family, friends, girlfriends who hold them up when they fall. Most losers like me and you have nobody to rely on.

>>33281575
Same. I am quite literally subhuman because my life has been below that of a human, I lived between human and animal and have done nothing of note. I don't know anything, I have no talents, I have no interests, I have no social relations, I am nothing

>>33280150 (OP)

Atomic habits has it right.
The idea that simple small changes can lead to profoundly different outcomes.
If you're engaged with people and open to everything and say no less youre increasing your odds of landing in extraordinary situations.
Like if yiu go out today and talk to a bunch of people there is a tiny chance youre going to meet someone whos going to be the conduit to a wild time or some life changing event.

Do that weekly, or even daily, now youre taking a lot more dice rolls which exponentially increases your odds of doing a lot more.

Im gonna guess youre posting on 4cha. Every day and your friends are out socializing a lot more than you. It isnt that they "know what to do and where to go". Its that their lifestyle has a lot more falling in their laps.

Also Im one of those people who once picked up wnd moved across the country and had a crazy time when I seemed broke.
Your assessment is correct. I was. And I didnt make it much better. I was paying for that for years. And I learned along the way a lot of people who do these things may also have rich parents paying off their shit. I didnt have that so I ran out of gas faster than my richer friends doing the same thing.
Tldr short answer.
Theyre just out more and exposed more and say yes more.
And
>they seem broke
Youre right. Theyre not doing themselves any favors. That dark side isnt going to be immediately obvious. Theyre not posting "i went to climb everest and now I'm broke and sad :(" on facebook.

>>33280223
Do you want to still be working in ur 60's? Idk about u but I definitely don't want to work in my 60's

>>33284731
Of course not, but that's when most people finally have the ability to retire. Hell, even many of those that retire at the retirement age to collect SSI benefits still struggle to make ends meet for the rest of their lives. Even those that retire early, that still means they are working during the youngest, healthiest, and most energetic years of their adult lives.

>>33280150 (OP)
>... I feel like I don't get to do anything I really want until I have years of stability under my belt.
>years of stability

>>33280234
>I don't know if I have the balls or the ability
>the balls

You don't have the balls, it's pretty clear. I've lived a pretty varied life and I have every time I've been killing it or every time I needed to level up required me to sack up and be willing to fail in a major way, the kind of way that makes most average people sick to even think of.
If it helps, it's not that you are not doing these things because you don't have the balls - you don't have the balls because you don't do these things.

You just have to be willing to fail, there's no way around it. Think of the quickest line to what you want and start walking it. Death comes.

Well for starters he clearly didn't do anything to get where he is right now, he knew what he wanted to be and do and worked hard/practiced to become good enough to make a living as both a tattoo artist and musician. In regards to the cars, vacations, and whatnot, he either has rich parents or is putting himself in debt to live his lifestyle. Also, surrounding yourself with people who are equally as ambitious and socially active is a big help. You also have to realize you're going to fail every now and again, I think your biggest problem is your lack of will and balls.

>>33280158
FPBP
but let me expand.
The idea that 'normies only succeed because of a vast network' is also cope.
Lots of top athletes, actors, businessmen, artists, and so on had NO ONE as they forged their path. From NFL and NBA stars from fucked up homes that got out of extreme poverty with athletics to superstars like Charles Bronson who was essentially alone as he fought from very ugly kid who didn't speak English very well to an international leading man.
In my own life I know a guy life that - dad in prison, alcoholic mom, insanely poor, maybe, MAYBE one friend in school and that ended in HS because he was working a lot to get enough money to actually eat. Skinny, ugly, but smart. Enlisted in the military then mother and father died within 6 months of each other. I didn't hear about him for over a decade.
Chest full of medals. Degree from a top uni. Gorgeous wife. Gorgeous kids. Amazing job. Famous enough in his hobby to be a guest on multiple high-level podcasts (how I learned what he was up to).
He went from no support to that on his own.

>>33280174
> like what the fuck does that mean?
Devil helps them, thats what.

I have 0 confidence in myself because I'm so fucking stupid

>>33286366
Upbringing doesn't matter. It's all about genes in the end.

>>33280150 (OP)
>doesn't waste every evening on 4chan
>has a better life

Hmm, I wonder