I've always wanted to be a creative ever since I was young. I've day dreamed about being one and tried working my ass off trying to write ever since I was around 12. My parents tried pushing me towards it for school assignments. I also wanted to draw but never got into it seriously.

I've been wanting to write again for nearly 2 years now and have barely made any progress towards that goal. I've only done one little drabble like 2 years ago and haven't done any exercises since then. I've been trying to get myself to write, but all of it looks too complicated and exhausting for me. I've tried multiple different strategies, but they never seem to work. I've tried forcing myself to write, but can only make myself write a couple of sentences for barely 30 seconds before stopping and looking at my phone again.

I've never been able to complete a single multichapter story in my entire life and actually coming up with stories isn't much better. I can't think anything through and everything about trying to make an entire story looks too hard for me. I want to be a creative really badly, but nothing I've done seems to have amounted to much of anything. I want to become one so badly, and I want to stop wasting my life doing nothing.

>>33288776 (OP)
howie thread

Bump

>>33288776 (OP)
>I've tried forcing myself to write, but can only make myself write a couple of sentences for barely 30 seconds before stopping and looking at my phone again.
Get rid of your phone. Genuinely: get a dumb phone for phone calls and texts and use a laptop for emails.

>>33288776 (OP)
Less screen time seems like a good first approach. If that doesn't work try acid.

>>33291537
>>33291149

All of the things I want to do involve screens

>>33291537
Don't try acid Op.

Bump

>>33288776 (OP)
think about what you like, consider what it is missing, and make a version with that

>>33288776 (OP)
you need an eclectic consciousness to write anything good and you seem too well adjusted, all the greatest authors of history were people with wild and uncontrollable inner narratives that they had to put into some descriptive form because otherwise life would've been unbearable, not because they wanted to be writers but because the need to communicate or relay the high tension within was too great. creativity and success don't go hand-in-hand it's mostly a self destructive process and you seem too concerned with the social import of being a creative rather than letting some tumultuous expression out for its own sake...

being a real poet or author is more like being a martyr because all you're doing is flailing around in the dark trying to give voice to an inner turmoil or vision... but having turmoil doesn't make you a good writer either, it really depends on more mysterious criteria that nobody can define, and certainly isn't tied to any title or status as a writer. the post you've written here is probably closer to the idea of true authorship than these stories you've been writing under the unfortunate pretense of 'doing the thing' - that being writing.

but i guess if you just want to write cute stories none of this matters

>>33288776 (OP)
I have the same question. I want to be a musician and while I'm a good singer and guitar player, I can't write good lyrics for shit even though I know the underlying message or concept I want to communicate. I just can't find a way to do it poetically. Maybe being retardedly direct can be juvenile and poetic in it's own right. Idk.