Thread 33290970

How do I get a gf who is into femdom?

>>33290970 (OP)
Why? I mean why try and build a relationship on a fetish?
You don't want a GF you want an exclusive fuck buddy.

>>33291138
>why try and build a relationship on a fetish
I just want someone who's sexually compatible. It's not a requirement.

>>33291864
>>33290970 (OP)
My advice is to have a normal relationship first and then tell her you like the kink and want to try it.

>>33291885
I've done that before but they were never into it the same way as me. I basically had to ask for everything I wanted and it felt like I was still the one in control.

>>33291891
Well anon that’s just the reality, femdom sex as we see it in porn is generally a male fantasy. Actual femdom relationships tend to be shockingly vanilla in the bedroom.

dating apps, websites, or even in real life. i'm also looking for a gentle dom gf (like mommy gf), but it's hard as fuck to find one that isn't into findom, lesbianism and polyamory, i tried to look on discuck, twitter, tiktok, but i never find one.

>>33291919
>Actual femdom relationships tend to be shockingly vanilla in the bedroom
what does this mean

>>33291993
Nta but I'm a femdom and most femdom porn doesn't speak to me because it feels weirdly performative and male-focused. If I had a partner who wanted it I might be willing to dress up and whip them and peg them. But that would be for their benefit and pleasure rather than mine. Not to say there aren't femdoms who LIKE the classic porn stuff but it's probably rarer.

It's like any other sort of compatability. You need to discuss it with your partner and slowly figure out how it can work for both of you.

"Femdom" isn't one kink as watersports or pegging might be - it's a wide variety of things. Even if you go out looking for a femdom gf you might not find exactly what you are looking for.

You might as well say "I want a tabletop game gf" and then get upset when you meet a girl who loves monopoly while you want to play gloomhaven.

So the first step would be to specify what you want from a femdom gf.

>>33293280
>specify what you want from a femdom gf
i just want to play a more passive/submissive role. it doesn't have to involve any specific kinks or types of play. im just attracted to dominant women and i like the dynamic of being submissive to my partner.

>>33290970 (OP)
Either

a) Go through in-person or online BDSM clubs and meet-up events, or

b) Start a vanilla relationship and gradually move it in the direction you want

>>33291891
>it felt like I was still the one in control.
You are. It is a truism of the BDSM world that "The dom serves the sub." It is always the sub's fantasies and needs that drive the scene, while the dom gets their jollies from making it all work

>>33291864
>I just want someone who's sexually compatible. It's not a requirement.
NTA but femdom is a kink and your first post and your only stated requirement for a gf is "be femdom" so that guy was correct. You're building a relationship on a fetish.
Also go to therapy.

>>33290970 (OP)
You don't, OP. You date someone with normal human being tendencies and pay a professional femdom mistress to indulge your kink on the side. What you're asking is a job that women ply themselves against for money, not something that any women actually want to do. In the event that you find a woman that DOES actually want to do it, congratulations, you've located a broken fucking person and you should run away.

>>33294454
>"The dom serves the sub."
Lol, no. He is just just subbing from the top

>>33294597
Or bottoming from the top

>>33290970 (OP)
>>33291982
Dominant females don't exist. Even the ones you pay for are switches. Give up on this fantasy.

>>33294465
>not something that any women actually want to do
blatantly false

>>33290970 (OP)
Depends on what you mean by femdom.

Gfd with cuddles, headpats and eating her out but while also being able to lean into your dominant side from time to time? Totally doable.

Pegging, uniforms, sissification and all the other degenerate shit? You'll have to ask her and see if she's OK with it. Otherwise, pay an escort.

>>33294755
that's why i prefer more fictional women than real ones. i can't even reproduce, nor fuck, nor kiss a fictional woman, but at least she's the way i love and want, so i can technically date her.

>>33294755
butch dykes exist. he could unironically become trans if being a bitch is so important for OP

>>33293819
>it doesn't have to involve any specific kinks or types of play.
Then I'm not sure why you said you had to tell women what you want and that turned you off. Are you unwilling to give feedback?

Even the most domme woman won't know what you want just from looking at you. Whether before or during sex you need to tell your partner what's ok. At least for the first few months.

>>33290970 (OP)
Get a gf first and honestly if it's your fantasy, you will have to do the legwork for it - that's just life I'm afraid.

My gf has repeatedly asked if she could try pegging me. I'm not even against it desu, but she hasn't taken the initiative on it so nothing has happened. We don't even own a strapon.

>>33294761
>Pegging, uniforms, sissification and all the other degenerate shit? You'll have to ask her and see if she's OK with it.
ok let's say full sissification with maybe forced bbc bi as a treat a couple times a year. how do you approach the topic in the most gentle way that won't drive her away if she's not into it?

>>33296268
>Then I'm not sure why you said you had to tell women what you want and that turned you off
>Whether before or during sex you need to tell your partner what's ok
I would have to ask every time. I've only dated women who weren't dominant and they would never initiate even after talking to them about it. They just didn't seem to enjoy it. Nothing wrong with it but there was no other way for me to feel submissive in the relationship so I was never satisfied.

>>33296363
Have you considered that you might be enjoying fantasies that may not be so enjoyable or safe (emotionally or physically) if tried IRL? I’m not judging you or anything but I think trying this stuff IRL is a recipe for disaster

>>33293819
This doesn't actually exist. Its always dominant men who find a woman who will indulge in his fantasy to please him.

Women DO NOT like submissive/passive/effeminate men. If they say they do, or get into a relationship with one, it NEVER works ever. Sorry anon. I like the idea of being the submissive one too, but it just doesn't work like that in practice.
Maybe if you are an outwardly dominant and masculine person, than that could override the unattractiveness of you acting submissive and feminine. Or if you are just incredibly attractive.

>>33296363
Unless you're a literal outward twink no woman is interested in doing that

Not op but what does it mean if I only ever liked light femdom? Not so much domination shit but like aggressive feminine. Taller women, feet/armpit play, spitting, smoking, etc, but I've NEVER been turned on by the latex mask, bodysuit, pegging, fully clothed women kicking your nuts red, type of shit. Ever

>>33297454
>what does it mean when I have (normal sexual desires)
everyone is so pressed to be special these days

>>33290970 (OP)
I'm looking for a gf who is the opposite, luckily they are plentiful