I made it all the way to 33 as a virgin, does this mean I'm generally unattractive to women? I never really tried to get a gf but probably should have gotten one by now through random chance if I had any potential.

>>33298732 (OP)
>I never really tried to get a gf
>but probably should have gotten one by now through random chance if I had any potential.
Not how it works. It's your job as a man to put in the effort to pursue and court women. The reason you've never gotten a girlfriend is precisely because you never tried to get one.

>>33298749
>It's your job as a man to put in the effort to pursue and court women
I don't know anyone who really had to try very hard to get one though. They just lived life and if a girl liked them they ran with it.

>>33298732 (OP)
There is no random chance in this matter. If you do nothing then nothing will happen. That is why you are still a virgin. You are too lazy and cowardly to qualify to pass on your genes. You should register at the local euthanasia center and wait for the cremation van to collect you.

>>33298887
>If you do nothing then nothing will happen.
Not true. My friend got his first gf when she and a friend sat beside him while he was having lunch and she asked for his phone number. A lot of people I know seemed to have got girls this way, I don't know anyone who really cold approaches alot.

>>33298732 (OP)
No, it doesn't mean that.

My friend is 30 and has only ever had sex with a prostitute. He's tall and ripped, he just refuses to talk to girls and gave up after one failed date on Tinder.

Confidence -> everything.

>>33298749
This is true. In school / college you meet new people all the time and socialise every day, so this stuff might happen naturally, but after that it takes effort. You will never find a gf by going to work, coming home and sitting in the house.

>>33299051
>She asked for his number
After which he had to set up dates, get to know her, out himself across in the right manner and then seal the deal.

>>33299051
pursuing doesn't necessarily mean cold approaching. those guys that girls gave numbers too were still mirroring body language, modulating their tone of voice, giving playful responses to dialogue, and 50 other things that indicated there was sexual tension. girls don't just go around handing out a number with no signal being received

>>33298749
/thread
>>33298732 (OP)
keep on waiting OP, a gf will magically fall onto your lap any minute now

Idk but im 28 and basically in the same boat
Though I do believe im sinply not the type of attractive man that women actually like physically. So I don't talk to any because I always assume I would be bothering them.

>>33298732 (OP)
>I made it all the way to 33 as a virgin,
You sound like you're bragging

>>33299953
>So I don't talk to any because I always assume I would be bothering them.
who gives a shit

you might need to bother dozens or hundreds of women to find one for sex

>>33300745
>who gives a shit
I do
I feel guilt at the thought of talking to and bothering a woman

>>33300745
t. sex pest weirdo

>>33301283
Well stop it. No one gets anywhere without "bothering" people. If she says no then move on to the next one. And don't listen to bitches like this >>33301596

>>33298768
>They just lived life
You haven't done that though.
"Living life" in this context means being around women, talking to women, flirting with them, asking them out, etc. It's something most guys just do without having to put much thought into. It's not trying hard, but what you have done (nothing, apparently) is not trying at all.

>>33298732 (OP)
>I never really tried to get a gf but
but nothing

you don't get a gf by doing nothing. girlfriends don't fall from the sky onto your lap after materializing from a magic girlfriend portal

>>33299051
your one friend is not the keeper of all human experiences, most people will never have a girl be this direct and do most of the flirting for them. I've had girls be direct with me as well but it's probably 50/50 with me having chased after as many girls.

>>33301283
We're not women and you're bothering us, complaining about your self-imposed problem

>>33299051
>a friend sat beside him while he was having lunch and she asked for his phone number.
Ok, and then what? They lived happily ever after as boyfriend and girlfriend with no work done on his end? I don't think so.
>>33299355
Exactly. But OP and other guys like him have so little knowledge of or experience with women and relationships that this never occurs to them. They simply don't have the frame of reference to draw from.

>>33300741
I enjoy self deprecating humor.

>>33301668
>You haven't done that though.
Woah how do you know? I've been to school, community college, worked, gym, and been out different places to have fun. I'm not a social butterfly but I don't live in a cave either.

>>33301674
>your one friend is not the keeper of all human experiences
>I've had girls be direct with me as well
Mhm, my point exactly.

>>33301711
>Ok, and then what? They lived happily ever after as boyfriend and girlfriend with no work done on his end?
Its not about what happened after that, the point is he was able to attract women without effort because he is attractive. Generally men do have to make the first move, but I've noticed that most men have had women initiate with them as well. By 33 something should have happened if I had any potential.

>>33301789
>>I've had girls be direct with me as well
>Mhm, my point exactly
did you read the of my post about how I;ve had to be direct with as many girls who have been direct with me?>>33301789
>Woah how do you know? I've been to school, community college, worked, gym, and been out different places to have fun. I'm not a social butterfly but I don't live in a cave either.
Not him but you admitted in your very first post that you never tried to get a gf

>>33301789
>the point is he was able to attract women without effort
And why is it so important for you to attract them without effort? You can attract them *with* effort by actually talking to them. All of this is just cope, like it always is in every thread like this ever, to excuse not doing anything. Do you really think every guy out there with a gf had her do all the work and come on to him first?
>Woah how do you know?
Because I just know, that's how. If you did, you wouldn't be here today making a thread like this. Are you really going to tell me I'm wrong OP?
>but I've done a lot! I've actually left my house!!
Very impressive. A real go-getter I can see.

>>33301813
>Not him but you admitted in your very first post that you never tried to get a gf
Yeah, but if I were attractive at all something would have happened anyway.

>>33301824
>And why is it so important for you to attract them without effort?
Its not about that, I'm just wondering how well getting attention from girls works as a metric for a man's attractiveness. Its obvious that highly attractive men get plenty of attention from girls without effort, and even average guys have rare moments where girls make the first move. So I think its reasonable to assume if you get 0 attention over 30+ years you must be a lost cause

>>33301871
Like a lot of the failed narcissists on this board, you seem more concerned with being validated as attractive than actually having a woman. There is overlap, but these are still two separate things.

>>33301824
>You can attract them *with* effort by actually talking to them
I already talk to girls. I don't call that "effort". Effort is the conscious, difficult and constant strategizing, dedicated self-improving, and the endless various failed attempts that I had to go through when I was trying to get laid. And I doubt that any normie with a girlfriend had to put half of that effort, I know that because when I ask them how they did it, hoping that the information will be of help to me, they answer with the usual "it just happened".

>>33301881
I wouldn't care either way, its just weird not knowing where you stand with women. People around me seem to believe I have potential, but I doubt it if girls pay me no mind for 3 decades. At worst I'm being lazy by trying to figure it out without trying.

>>33301871
>Yeah, but if I were attractive at all something would have happened anyway.
If you've never approached an attractive girl, why woulda girl do it to you?

I had to sperg and try to flirt with 4 or 5 different girls and build up some confidence before a girl approached me.

>>33301893
>Effort is the conscious, difficult and constant strategizing, dedicated self-improving, and the endless various failed attempts that I had to go through when I was trying to get laid. And I doubt that any normie with a girlfriend had to put half of that effort, I know that because when I ask them how they did it, hoping that the information will be of help to me, they answer with the usual "it just happened"
Bro I had to do all that, I had to change and reinvent my look and style every few months or couple of years, had to make sure I wasn't too skinny and then make sure I wasn't too fat, had to pretend to care about whatever girls had to say about something I wasn't interested in, had to go to places and events I didn't really care for, had to start smoking so I could be cool with punk girls and then quit smoking when I wanted to be with non-smoking girls, I even went vegan for a few months for some hippy vegan girls.

what is it specifically about the process of socializing, flirting, and dating that's completely outside of your realm of imagination?

>>33302095
>>Bro I had to do all that, I had to change and reinvent my look and style every few months or couple of years, had to make sure I wasn't too skinny and then make sure I wasn't too fat, had to pretend to care about whatever girls had to say about something I wasn't interested in, had to go to places and events I didn't really care for, had to start smoking so I could be cool with punk girls and then quit smoking when I wanted to be with non-smoking girls, I even went vegan for a few months for some hippy vegan girls.
>my man's over here pulling off some agent 47 level disguises just to get in a girls pants
sex-havers, everyone

>>33302151
It wasn't anything that I wasn't curious about, and not completely outside of my comfort zone.

I always orbited around the punk/goth/metal/nerd/emo/hippy circles which is all one big overlapping venn diagram in itself. I never had to go full mask and like pretend to be a sports normie and go to a basketball game or talk about hockey to impress a girl or listen to normie pop music or anything.

I was merely adapting and trying new things. Something OP should do.

>>33301871
>Its not about that, I'm just wondering how well getting attention from girls works as a metric for a man's attractiveness. Its obvious that highly attractive men get plenty of attention from girls without effort, and even average guys have rare moments where girls make the first move. So I think its reasonable to assume if you get 0 attention over 30+ years you must be a lost cause
The thing is you can be generally unattractive to women for a very long time but that doesn't make it a curse you're doomed to for life.

I'm taller than 6 foot, always was strong, and never smiled/showed emotion on my face because of Asperger's, and didn't talk to people because I had a bad diet and it made me introverted and cranky. I got to 24 without really talking to women, so about a decade.

...but I was never doomed despite that. I was actually attractive by default, once I learned to not sit with defensive body posture and managed what I ate. Women actually are attracted to a tall, strong, stoic guy, its just intimidating without any warmth or signals of safety

The whole thing you're getting wrong like most guys on here is seeing long term unattractiveness as calcifying and impermeable. There are guys with horrible Klinefelter's syndrome or whatever that truly are permanently undateable. But in most cases? You can be long term generally unattractive and still only need to put real effort into one or two things. The wheels not greased but only one gear or two really needs to get whacked.

Couldn't tell you. I'm 33 and a virgin too, never tried to date really, did have a chick once ask me to fuck her but turned her down (hated her attitude/personality). Lost a bunch of weight and made real improvements this year on the physical front, but I'm thinking I'm just going to forgo dating altogether. Juice just isn't worth the squeeze in just about every metric I look at.

>I never really tried to get a gf but probably should have gotten one by now through random chance if I had any potential.
Not likely unless you're in a big city in an environment that puts you in front of a lot of people constantly, even then, the chance is low.

>"Living life" in this context means being around women, talking to women, flirting with them, asking them out, etc. It's something most guys just do without having to put much thought into. It's not trying hard, but what you have done (nothing, apparently) is not trying at all.
No, living life is literally just that, living life.

>>33302177
>The thing is you can be generally unattractive to women for a very long time but that doesn't make it a curse you're doomed to for life.
It kinda does.

>>33299953
Similar feelings. I personally think I look fine, but it's not worth bothering people in public. Just going to make an ass out of myself.

>>33299344
>He's tall and ripped, he just refuses to talk to girls and gave up after one failed date on Tinder.
Based. I would too.

I never really gave a shit about dating and was very happy playing my anime games but always kept my powerlevel hidden.

when I was 30 I completely stopped giving a shit and made it pretty open how much I love anime stuff. Now I have a very affectionate and loving girlfriend who also loves anime stuff.

I'm a virgin in my mid 30s. I just always saw myself as inferior to everyone and incapable of ever attracting anyone so I never saw a point in trying. I don't like being around people and don't want to be outside in the world