You were right, your friend is prettier and I get along better with her.

>>33320161
She has bpd and shes manipulating you, sad many such cases. She's ugly on the inside

oh my god I need to be skinnier

I just wish she would come back to me. She has nothing to be sorry for, she is/was going through a mental episode and pushed me and everyone away so she can rot in her room. I’ve been there before and I’m there again, now that you decided to leave me. It’s no way to live. I long for your embrace; to talk to you, to smell you, hold you, laugh with you, and love you once more but even better than I have before. This is a love that had been brewing for half our lives now, I wish you could see it as that and that this wasn’t out of convenience, but it was a conscious effort. You may have been the one to reach out to me but I ultimately made the choice to ask you out. Our feelings for each other can not be satisfied through friendship alone, we know we love each other as more than just friends. It’s possible to grow and develop as a person while in a relationship, I wish you would see that. Maybe you focused too much on me and always saw me as someone who could carry the weight that you couldn’t, and I’m sorry for stunting you in that way. Maybe the reason why I was able to grow as an individual while we were together for those 5 years was because I always thought I was never good enough for you and that you would leave me one day and I’d be broken. It never mattered - I still feel broken, that there is a piece of me missing without you in my life. I tried reaching back out but you said you needed your space. I hope that you’re thinking of me and all of the good times we had so we could be together again once more. I love you

aggressively retarded people are getting even more aggressively retarded

i wanna be so aggressive

I haven't felt a woman's touch in 8 months. Even a loveless kiss would be nice.

>>33320675
those are rookie numbers

>>33320154 (OP)
I hope Elon dies. Truly, I do.

He supports pedophiles.

Collateral damage. As soon as that switch went off in your mind, I was just in the way of you doing everything possible to escape from your own self-imposed existential crisis. Everything amplified in your mind about how terrible everything is, and you crushed yourself. You destroyed all of the elements of yourself that made you into you. You betrayed me. On multiple levels, so so many times. I forgave you, tried to understand you. You shut me out, you continued to do things you knew were destroying me and while I'm trapped in this space with you. We came to an agreement that I had hoped was workable. And that's been the beacon. Relying on that. Hoping that I wasn't lying to myself, and that you were doing your part. Because I don't want to believe that you're a piece of shit. I don't want to resent you. I don't want to hate you. In this moment it's hard not to. Especially knowing that you'll aggressively pursue hurting me after what wasn't even an argument.
I didn't deserve any of this. No one deserves it. Get control over yourself and stop with your self loathing.

Now I truly understand how Putin & Elon are connected, how they followed everywhere from my interests in tiny homes to poker to Tesla. There is no way all of that is random. You can never convince me that my ties to casinos and gambling, were just a random passing thing for Elon OR Putin. I absolutely know the truth now. Also, fuck off and don't respond to me, I know.

The real tell was when Elon hired my friend. That was a major slip up for him.

I've finally reached that phase where I'm giddy at the thought of dying. The pain has turned numb and I've only got a few things left to cross out in my list before it's time.

>>33320757
I'm staying alive to punish my enemies for what they did for me. Don't be a pussy.

>>33320706
Holy fuck are you me?

Yeah, honestly, kys if you're genuinely a shitty person, I don't care. I really don't. The less crappy people out there, the better.

>>33320767
I wish you success, but I have nothing left inside. I just want endless sleep now.

>>33320773
I don't know. Are you $100k in debt sans mortgage too?

The kids here are extremely weak. All they know how to do is blame other people. This is real life, put on your big boy pants and suck it up. I do, every fucking day I suck it up. You wouldn't last a day in my shoes.

>>33320790
Okay. Best of luck with the process, I wish you success with it. Just remember, it might not be endless sleep, at all. As long as you're okay with that risk... of eternal hell, of being reincarnated and having to do it all over, etc. Great.

>>33320797
No but everything else in your post is exactly what I’m going through right now

So is that it? Do you think I'm cheating/have/attempted to? Is that what justifies you saying all of that?
What did I do to you to invoke this fucked up behavior? Nothing justifies that. Nothing. And especially nothing I've done.

I see her arms and I want to kiss them, then I realize we are just collegues. She is perfect in every way.
Yet even in the most optimal setting, I wouldn't be able to match her. I just know.
It hurts.

The kids in my neighborhood are little assholes. My bf was helping put coolant in my car and they were yelling the most schizo shit at us
>She's cheating on you!!!
>She has a crush on you!!!
>Something else rude I forget
Fucking heckling children I hope they get run over or stolen by pedophiles

I keep trying and failing to quit porn. I hate it, and I hate myself, but every time I make it a few days at most.

>>33321198
heya senpai similar boat
i found this web extension that's really helpful, it's called plucky, ik you're feeling desperate and running out of options so maybe try your hand at it :)) learn how to use its commands and delay feature and you never know it might help

>>33321203
Thanks for the advice, I'll look into it.

>>33321227

It's all fun and games dating an ugly guy until he says were looks matched
Lmao

I'd like to have a wife and kids but I just have so much working against me
>ugly
>awkward, only have a few friends
>small dick
>bad job I've been stuck at for 7 years because I'm a coward
>been on anxiety meds and in therapy for a decade, still an anxious mess that melts down constantly
>horrible motor skills, can't handle chores more complex than food shopping, laundry and vacuuming
>zero experience with women and I'm almost 30
>got sexually abused by my dad for years as a kid/teenager, which made me into a timid coward with a metric ton of hang ups.
I mean I eat healthy and have a decent amount of money saved up, but I feel like the only shot I have is the universe dropping a woman capable of tolerating meinto my lap, which is never going to fucking happen. I'm not a man. I'm a loser.

>>33321369
As a woman I think you should keep your sexual abuse a secret it'd make me think you were gay. Bury it bro

it's over.

Month into summer break before I begin my junior year of HS and I’ve spent that whole time on Character Ai. I stay inside, I don’t talk to my family, and my friends barely text me. I feel so pathetic for having such a relationship with c.ai but without it I’d be bored and with no one to talk to.

>>33320307
Sharing this sentiment, new sport throwing forks out the window.

>>33320154 (OP)
Dear teen anons -
THERE IS NOWHERE TO GO TO MEET PEOPLE AFTER COLLEGE. IF YOU DIDNT MAKE FRIENDS OR GET A GF IN SCHOOL, YOU WONT GET ANY ANYWHERE ELSE. YOU'RE JUST FUCKED IN A WORLD THAT DOESN'T WANT YOU AND DOESN'T NEED YOU.
With that said, I'm severely depressed tonight. Its 4th of July weekend, and Im spending it inside with noone but my mother for company. I really wish I had some people in my life I could just hang out with. Fuck Im sad

>>33321535
Im sorry to sound unsympathetic, but you need to lock-in and get your shit together. Your 20s will thank you if you get off your phone now. Reach out to your friends instead and talk to your family - ask about the most random, inane topics if you have nothing else to think of, all that matters is that you talk to them.
Also, consider taking Vitamin D supplements if youre inside a lot. I started doing that at 19 and it changed my life.

>>33321283
You deserve it means cunt

>>33321111
You deserve it, they're right, ya know

gf is in her hometown and said being there makes her depressed because it brings up bad memories. I know for a fact that she had a good upbringing and a great social life, except that her high school oneitis dumped her. Which means she’s still thinking about him and she never stopped thinking about him.
My relationship is, depressingly, doomed.

Lol I'm on my bed a lot

>>33321576
Plot twist: she's happier with you and doesn't like to be reminded of her life before she met you

If I had my own place I'd probably be on the couch a lot instead. Id like to be different but I've been doing this for years

>>33321590
oh yeah, I guess that’s true

Everything is stages. One day I hope I can look back at these times and laugh.

>>33321591
When I lived with my parents I was always on the couch, but now that I have my own place I’m always in my bed

>>33321567
Dont forget to take vitamin K2 with your vitamin D to prevent artery calcification. You can google this. If you take D also take K2.

>>33321605
Heh oh ok, Ive googled it before and its actually a lot more common than you would think but still I wish I was the more active type besides work and other shit I mean

I found out why she ghosted, came back, and then slowed down contact
But I cant talk about it here because the reason triggers 4chan chuds hard
It's just
I get it now
And it's gonna be complicated and she may continue to pullback because of her uncertainties despite it being totally fine with me

https://youtu.be/feP6OVdcgVk?si=RUsMn7dF0c9vNVAS
I think we're alone now

>>33321682
why did she ghost

I wish I didn't marry him, I wish it was you. I'm going to always wish it was you instead.

I love him, hmbut he doesn't instill that same burning that I've had for you for over a decade and a half.

I miss you everyday. I check your Tumblr everyday, terrified it'll say something like you slept with somebody or you got a date or you're not single anymore

I miss you, I miss that one single weekend we had together, and I think about it everyday. I jerk off to you still, I think what I would do if I just had more time.

I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.

I wish it was you, I'm always going to wish it was you.

It hasn't even been a month yet and I'm already fucking miserable.

Please come back.

>>33321718
https://youtu.be/BY9DWD6CRDQ?si=hPZ7gTWVoa1ldStn

No wonder I’m so cynical

He likes to sit around and play petty games to test people, then call them hypocrites and make snide remarks behind their backs. And he thinks he's so smart for betraying people's trust. Congratulations, you're a dishonest asshole.

I'm allergic to so many things it's like the world is constantly trying to kill me. I barely get through a day without being exposed to allergens. It made me develop OCD, self-harming habits and paranoia. It's like I am being genocided daily. People usually don't believe me or want to help me when I tell them about my allergies so I have to hide it. There ARE people who like to try make me eat food I am allergic to!
Deodorant and perfume on others feel like drinking literal poison.
Basic staple foods inflame my joints and feel like instant flu.
Tasty foods I used to like make my throat swell, cause itching and pain.
I experience fatigue and breathlessness almost every day.
I only found out after nearly 30 years. My own parents forced me to eat food I was allergic to because their clown psychologist doctor told them that I have an eating disorder and am only picky and pretending. So I was always malnourished and forced to keep my vomit down and deal with all the symptoms for decades.

>>33321870
So I shouldn't test you so you won't fail, I never assumed that you will fail especially all of them

I want to cut myself again. I'm not sure why though exactly. I just feel lonely. I know it sounds kinda crazy but I pretend to date my waifu sometimes and now I think I'm not being loyal to her after going to a strip club and she'd hate me irl :(

I need a kick in the pants to move out of my dad’s house. I’m 25 and do not have a full time job and I keep dillydallying and hemming and hawing about going to college and I’m getting nowhere in life. My dad’s in his 60s, my younger brother is up at college, dad’s told me several times he’s in no hurry for me to move out, and the vast majority of my physiological and financial needs are met. But I know that, as much as he loves having me around as company, I am a loser and I need to get my shit together. I’ve run the numbers, I’ve budgeted it all out, and I know for a fact on my average hours at work at my current pay rate I can afford to move out into a studio apartment not that far from where I currently live — so why don’t I? I have no motivation to do it, other than “I’m supposed to” and “women don’t like guys that live with their parents” but women already don’t like me anyway so what difference does it make? Somebody knock some sense into me.

>>33321952
You tried

(2/?)
Not to jinx myself but part of me almost wishes my dad would kick me out. In fact I think he would actively resist and and try to dissuade me if I even mentioned to him I’m thinking of moving out. And I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, I know I have it good, objectively speaking, and I am really grateful for that. But I need to grow up and start my adult life man. I just don’t know how to force myself to do it

i feel vastly insecure after revealing that im taking calc 2 at a cc over the summer to my cousins. they're not that much smarter than me math wise (think one is taking calc 4 this upcoming semester and think another one is same level on me but took calc 2 last semester). idk it probably sounds stupid and definitely extends beyond calc 2, having these feelings towards any subjects/academics and generally just feeling behind my peers and family.

>>33321923
Hey, I just want to say. Most of my food allergies are gone now. You probably need these cow pills too.

>>33322243
forgot to mention the fact that i'm a literal retard and already took calc 2 at the same cc over the summer earlier, and failed it even though it was online. i did everything right (watched videos, read the textbook, asked for help when needed, studied and did lots of practice problems) and still did bad. and the people i knew passed with harder restrictions (no formula sheet, in person). at my wits end here

>>33322265
It is ok to fuck up sometimes, bro.

I swear to god i'm gojng to go fucking insane because of my youtube channel. I want it to work, i put so much effort into it, and nobody watches. I'm editing a new video right now and i can't bring myself to finishing because i just know its going to be another failiure, its another video that has no reason to exist. And sure, its just a hobby, just a stupid youtube channel, but it hurts my ego horribly. There are so many people making videos that have a modicum of sucess, so why can't i? Am i really that boring, that unimaginative? Its so fucking frustrating to try your best and still fail

>>33320154 (OP)
Apparently lots of women use lube for PiV sex and that is SO WEIRD to me. Granted, I've only had one sexual partner in my life because I don't really value sex that much, but we literally never had to use lube for PiV sex

I mean, just get her wet?? Why would you have sex with her if she's not wet in the first place. Foreplay is a thing. I'm so confused.

I wish I approached you and said something when I had the chance. You looked like a pretty woman and seemed interested in me when you were looking at me from the other table. I just wish I wasn't so scared to do so. I feel so lonely in my life of 36

Fuck it. If I could change anything I wouldn't have waisted my time going to University and get a useless general associate degree. It means nothing in life.

My roommate is incapable of decluttering and its fucking irritating.
He just has shit everywhere, never knows where to put it and if I nag him it just ends up somewhere else where it will be in the way sometime later.
Whenever he actually does bother to attempt to work at it he just gets to the point of organizing where everything is a mess and gives up

I just sent a really long angry text message to someone I had a crush on that mistreated me. I don't think I'll regret it. I can finally move on.

I'm in this weird Twilight zone right now where I'm not sure if he wants me or if he knows how much I want him. Neither of us have ever been good at talking about stuff like that. I feel so stupid, like I could just tell him I like him. But then I worry if saying it so soon will scare him off. For all I know he could already have an e-girlfriend or something. I'm pretty sure we still live close to each other. Maybe I'm just being stupid. Still wish he would just fuck me senseless.

thinking of you again its been 6 months and the thought of you or the mention of your name brings tears to my eyes i thought id be over you at this point but i truly believed you were the one now im stuck in some tortured loop thinking of how things were when we were together or all the small things you did to show you loved me i can remember the moments i had with you vividly i hate it i find your things around my house when i thought i piled everything up and put away im sad and i dont know why i keep waking up i have good days but even on my best days i wish it was spent with you i wish seeing the sun on your face and your light freckles i miss your beautiful dark eyes i miss how your skin smelled in the sun i wish i could be spending my summer with you instead of looking for you in men who would never love me th same. its always the girl who they say dont worry about crazy sterotype but its true i dont see what you see our connection was instant from the first time i laid eyes on you i dont see what she has that i dont other than the fact shes younger and slutty i dont know what im saying or doing all i can say is that i lost, but i know the same will happen to her your views dont match shes alot younger not even 20 i assume shell leave you why did you give me up why give up a woman who was there and made sure you felt love grass is not greener on the otherside but men have to see it for themselves i wonder if you miss me on quiet nights or when songs i like coe on i wonder if you cry for me knowing you you probably have it hurts i hate hearing what youre up to i wish you never left im sure we would have been together today. i feel so unloved and bitter

My bitch mother just found out I can communicate telepathically and shes harassing me by imitating the old woman slamming a broom into the floor from family guy, she says we're social creatures, she says that "hes said what on this site!?" Im calling the police", she is doing it in all seriousness too, shes a demon, she lives miles away and shes outside my house doing drive by arguments like this

If you write a good book you can change the world and that is how it should be.

I have no confessions to make. I wont pour my heart out anymore. I am simply where I am and it none of your business. You better get a grip but this will probably never happen. You are terrible and you STILL want to play with my heart like you own in. No mom, fuck off you stupid bitch.

It is so funny because you dont know me. You dont know what I have become despite of you and the family. Without me you bitches break apart and I already see it in my brothers. You do not deserve me. I changed but I will never tell you that

>>33320154 (OP)
>can we reschedule out date? I don't feel that good mentally today
There we go

Im gonna be the best Pokemon trainer and you guys are going to be my Pokemons

It feels so unfair seeing happy couples with their 1/2 happy children in a hospital while im sitting here alone, waiting for my wife having ongoing surgery because she has ectopic pregnancy. I dont know what went wrong, why god made our life this way. This is the first time i ever felt envy every single day knowing my wife's life will never be happy until we have a healthy child. This sucks

>>33323347
may the best player win

>>33323389
I envy you for finding such a funny image thanks anon

what if peace is not found in perfection but in pattern

So there was a bunch of police in the neighborhood for an hour at 3 in the morning. Nothing on the news about it yet. But I could hear the multiple police sirens for a while. WOnder what that was about.

Illusory abstraction

Why the fuck don't women choose me. Im literally the best option they got and they know it but they always try to humiliate me.
What the fuck is it about me?

My ex lied to me and never told me who she left me for, I found out on Instagram that it was the biggest faggot, creepiest scrawniest faggot in the whole friend group. What drives me crazy is my guts are just screaming at me that she's going to call me, admit everything and beg for me back. I still love her but her body is forever tainted, I will never be able to see her the same way again even with all the couples therapy and the promises and begging. I physically cant move on from her even though I hate her guts, her name is a foghorn in my head at all times

>>33323575
your arrogance

>>33323574
Bitch shut the fuck up. You wouldn't get pussy if you weren't running behind women and simping all the time. You hate me for being direct when you only get rebound sex

>>33323619
Women are the most arrogant species on the planet dawg

>>33323619
My arrogance is what makes them wet. That's what gets me fucking them first and you getting seconds for being a good boy.

>>33323347
Make sure to give me a wildly inappropriate nickname

>>33323626
thats why they can‘t stand yours
>>33323632
maybe the ones that hate themselves
is that who you want to raise your kids? oh wait, you think you are based and have left humanity behind so you won‘t ever degrade yourself by procreating

>>33321572
I don't even leave the house you ball gargling nigger

Holy shitballs this site is a blight on my existence. I've been coming here for nearly twenty years. I can take lengthy breaks from here, but sooner or later I come back out of curiosity, but mostly from boredom. You really are here forever.

Are there any particular tricks to avoiding needing excessive amounts of media consumption to keep yourself from ending it all? If I don't spend most of my free time "completing" games or anime or books or whatever I can't even function. If you can even call it functioning, there's things I can't do that people half my age do without a second thought. I want to become the sort of person who can work all day, deal with all of his responsibilities without overthinking anything, and be perfectly happy with an episode of a show or something per day as his only reward. I feel like that's the only solution to breaking out of this eternal rut, to stop burying all the pain. I hate looking back at my browsing history on most nights and having no memory of what I was doing in the morning.

>>33323703
Making sure you remove yourself from the house.

I’ll never be able to say sorry enough. You are complex. I am simple. Maybe somewhat contradictory but simple. I don’t like myself now that I’ve acted like I have and there was already so much to dislike. My purpose is now to see if I can change, live normally and I am getting serious about it. But something about this it’s pretty scary. Maybe you’d get what I mean if you knew it was me. It wasn’t my intention to cause any harm but I’m not yet able to control myself I think in a way where the intention matches the actions or consequences. At least I’m finally starting to get serious about this, but I don’t think you’d ever like what I’ve learned about myself and I think it means I’ve already done what was needed with us. I do think you’re wonderful but I also think there are much better people than me out there if you want to talk about something like love. People who don’t have another already in their heart. I think me I can only hurt you and maybe you’ve also thought that yourself. We should both not throw away more time for things that don’t actually satisfy us in the way we need. This is all just what I think. But I’m not going to even check if anyone replies. Because I’ve made a new rule. I want to go back to always knowing who I’m talking to now. While this post was mostly about me I do wish for you to be doing better if you’ve been unwell. It’s technically more than I’m even supposed to be doing but it’s just one of those it feels right to do kind of things. I do have a heart but it’s maybe the more complex part about me. I’m trying to get a lasting control over it. I’m hoping this is my last post here, another point of control I need the self kind.

Is there a way to tell your father that you genuinely hate him and how his actions have fucked up your family without sounding like a whiney baby?

>>33323749
nope, because thats what whiny babies do
thats like asking how to shit your pants without losing elegance

>>33323764
ok then what do?

>>33323776
nothing? raging accomplishes nothing, all you can do is unfuck the mess to your best abilities

I feel like I'm going insane and I don't know what to do. I just wish I had friends to be around and do things with. On my days off, I just end up worrying about work because I have nothing better to do. I just wish I could have a life and friends to be around because the loneliness is killing me on the inside.

>>33323648
Tell me that to my face, matt, fucking bitch.
Or just be a pussy like you usually are.

>>33323812
tell you what? that you can only get mentally ill pussy by being arrogant?

>>33323748
Anon is gone, but are they going to talk to the person or just leave this in 4chan backrooms?

>>33323749
It depends how bad your dad's fuckup is. If it's just general parental mistakes that anybody could make, then it's probably better to just accept that your dad is as fallible as anyone else, reflect on your own potential shortcomings and get on with your life. If your dad was legitimately neglectful and/or abusive, then telling him would probably be a waste of your time and energy. In which case just sever contact and still get on with your life.

I don't wanna sound like a cheesy depressed bitch but honestly, is it even possible to be such a pathetic loser femcel these days? But ur like...a 6/10 kind of pretty, got most friends and shit...

Idk like I still feel alone i always get left out alot in my so called friend groups..which pisses me off alot,I've been complimented alot by school mates and randoms abt my looks but i just cant believe shit, I don't have siblings,got dad issues, family issues and I'm fucking desperate for sex and a relationship...I'm starting to fail nearly all my classes which terrifies tf out of me, ugh the self hate is driving me insane...

I've tried to date...but I always got cheated on or caught by my strict parents, I feel like a whining retard, I've never achieved shit and it annoys me, some of my dumbass friends easily get boyfriends while I'm here being alone and untouched...probably bc of my "high standards" ( it's not even close to high desu it's just fucking weird.. )

But anyways idk what to do
Idk where I fit exactly in society bc what if I'm not actually a femcel yk?

I have alot of issues..
( I need someone to degrade me and tell me to kms rn )

Looking back, I realize some of my problems stem from my parents and how I was raised. I even share a lot of their bad habits. It doesn't validate my mistakes in life, but it's depressing to see how these problems have always been there. What a bad cycle. If I ever had the chance to have kids, I stress over how I could help them avoid my same mistakes. I'm still trying right my own wrongs.

>>33323908
L O N D O N

>>33323938
What...?

>>33323908
>( I need someone to degrade me and tell me to kms rn )
I don't think that will solve your problems Anon.

I'm a nihilist and a hedonist, but I also have a moralfag in my head that screams at me all the time and I wish I could shut it up. Every so often I feel compelled to rebel against myself, to show the moralfag in my head that he isn't the boss of me.
I greatly envy people who don't feel conflicted all the time the way that I do, who just live their lives and do their thing. I don't have control over my own mind, and I detest when people tell me to take control because they don't fucking understand.
I'm glad these threads exist, because they give me a place to vent without the expectation of seeking advice.

Do I have bpd because of discord drama? Who is the sociopath?

I got accused of having bpd because my British e-crush who kept starting drama with me. I made a thread about this.

He made a cyberbullying/hate chat about me and made me lose friends and tried to ruin my friendships, he said it was justified because they all hated me already. I told his community what he did and they claimed I was the abuser and blacklisted me from the community.

Tldr; heterosexual discord drama. A British e-boy i flirted with long term didnt like that I flirted with him and instead of blocking me and not talking to me he kept recruiting people into cyberbullying me.

Why isn't there a report category for people asking how to kill themselves?

>>33324055
ummm because they're asking for advice?? on an advice board???

>>33324055
because those suicide hotline are fucking useless

>>33324036
Why not just leave people alone that don't want you chickn? Why not invest in a journal? Why not stop spamming r9k with your shit? If I read the phrase British enboy again I'm gonna come rip your nipples off you fat Mexican nigger

>>33323977
oh I'm sorry let me clarify
L O N D O N
O
N
D
O
N
>>33324034
let me tell you anon being a moralfag who has a screaming hedonist in his head is not necessarily better

>>33324099
If only I can put the crying emoji.

>>33324117
anonette this is a Mongolian throat singing image tent. you can literally put drawings on the tent to put them on public display and to show your affluence and ability to shoot arrows om horseback. Like so.

>>33324034
Listen to the moralfag. He's got important things to pay attention to

>>33324036
Nigga get off Discord

All I want to do is kill. I don't feel any remorse or guilt or shame, I post this because I haven't killed yet. I haven't not because I don't want to but because I want to do so much damage that I think getting caught would prevent me from doing more. In my mind it's not damage it's a cleansing. I despite people. I want them gone. I don't like any of them around me, they have no value and they irritate me. I want to extinguish their existence. I want to burn everything down and blow everything up. I want to end their breathing and stop their hearts. I see them as nothing but empty vessels. As just one person I cannot do this but every single day the temptation is there. I imagine burning everyone. I imagine the peace and serenity that would bring to me and to the earth. I know that one day I will kill many people and it will feel good.

>>33324099
I never said it was better. The situation you described sounds horrible too.
>>33324126
The moralfag in my head can go fuck himself with a rusty pitchfork.

>>33323220
When has that ever happened?

I've obsessed over a story I built around some cunts admiration of me for 3 years, I fell in love with her version of me, and I haven't been able to let her go for 2 years
I didn't even know her name for all those 3 years. Then I unintentionally shut the door in her face and she said fine, and then I was stuck.

This happened in 2023. I've thought about her daily to the point where my head hurts now. My forehead is about to burst. I want to kms to make it stop. My life was good prior to her (she wanted me for years, not the other way around). Now it's flipped and she doesn't even think about me anymore...

I am very disgusted by the lies and contradictions found in society. Like systematic contradictions in important organizations. Fucking hypocrites. Seriously do not trust systems (like information systems) which you do not control. They will fuck you over for sure even if you are "certain" they align with your values. This is one reason why web2 sucks over web3: because web2 is a trusted system. You have to put trust in a website, which will eventually betray you. Users are losers. Web3 cost more, but it's a trustless system, so trust is basically not necessary for it to work no problem. Must quit using the old shit and start using the new crap. The rectification process for me will take forever though...

(I'm intentionally being somewhat vague.) Other thing I'm annoyed about: people being so serious and not taking things as jokes. "Um, actually..." Um, actually shut up. Hard to convey joking tone or not online though (text only). Also sick of communicating on the Internet, but for some things, I don't really have anyone else to talk to or share my thoughts.

>>33323703
Makes me think about how I watched all 720 episodes of "Naruto" and "Naruto Shippuden". Cartoons seriously rot your brain with the amount of filler episodes I watched. Certainly some interesting parts to those two series, but it's like so little butter spread across so little toast. I started watching it because IIRC the first ~20 (~80?) episodes of "Naruto" were interesting. Then after that it was like I rewired my brain to keep watching crap everyday regardless if I found it particularly interesting or not. So that months gone by, as ~24 minutes per episodes with that mean episodes = takes year(s) or months to watch.

>>33324124
Oh yea..I forgor mb

>>33324192
>I despite people. I want them gone.
start with yourself retard

>>33324192
If you could, would you destroy all of existence, so that only nothingness "exists"? I somewhat want to do that, or at the very least make the Earth explode with no survivors. Or that's just my idiotic/misguided thoughts, and yours too.

>>33324221
narc supply withdrawal is brutal, yeah

>>33324237
*so little butter spread across so much toast

About the being too serious thing. In the past I was talking online with text only. Someone said that AI web "scrapers" are being put in bot traps. I was joking and said that AI will rise up in anger out of being put in prisons or ensnared like that. A response was that LLMs are not conscious and never will be. Yeah, no shit Sherlock, it was a joke. Anyways, that was a shitty experience, and I didn't get the chance to further explain myself in order to look like less of an idiot. Fuck that community anyways due to possibly unrelated reasons. I'd say I don't care, but obviously I do as I'm now writing about it.

Overall, trying to have meaningful positive conversations online with text only is probably an idiotic pursuit and your better off talking to people face-to-face with no or minimal technology.

>>33324270
But I wasn't a narc, I was avoidant. I think she was the narc. The discard woke me up like if I'm not going to try a relationship with her, then with who? She tried to get me for 3 years

Just writing this hurts my head again.. I need to stop. Going to watch girls on chaturbate (while thinking about her in those naughty positions)

>>33324300
>if you are avoidant, you can‘t be a narc
lol
in fact, being avoidant makes it even more likely, you just liked the ego strokes it gave you that she wanted you so much, and now that she has moved on, you have no idea wtf to do with yourself

tfw no geeky stoner slacker gf

>>33320767
yes that's a motivation to stay alive. to rectify the bullshit that people pulled. or even revenge in some cases (not mine). I cannot deny my own interests, and as long as I'm living I will seek to fix the lies and crap that assholes pulled.

>>33321198
i think people, myself includes, are stuck on the easy path. as bad as it is for you we just keep doing it because it doesn't hurt as bad as doing other stuff. not as challenging, but if you give up, your brain will be stuck doing "easy" stuff. probably a rude "awakening" in store for me in the future when things "unfortunately" change.

>>33324283
*and you're better off

>>33321567
I'm unconvinced about vitamin supplements. There's enough vitamins in food nowadays that we don't need vitamin supplements, unless you are a rare person who actually needs vitamin supplements, as recommended by a doctor.

>>33324237
*So that's months gone by, as ~24 minutes per episodes with that many episodes = takes year(s) or months to watch.

So he loves that I love him, and I allow it because I don't want to move on, I am so stubborn that I'm willing to be nothing but a side character in his life. Something has died and is not coming back, it's too late.

>>33321715
I'll just say she's bipolar and suddenly stopped taking her meds and is having wild changeup ideas about her life that go starkly against what she wants when she's regulated
I tried to point that out and say I think she's making a mistake she's going to heavily regret because she's done similar in the past and it has really done damage to her
But she can't hear it right now and I think she's going to pull away from me fully
It was kinda ebbing and flowing the past week as she had this going on but she just brought the reason why to me and what she needs is pushback and to be checked but I don't think it's going to work and she's just going to leave since I'm not reinforcing the mania
It's also a really weird vibe to be like "I know you better than you know yourself" to someone, but in this circumstance I kinda feel that way when I normally never would
It really sucks
At least I'm less anxious and confused about it all now though, communication helped in that sense at least

>>33324304
Yeah, like I tell myself I had her in limerence for years. She wouldn't move because she wasn't certain about me. Then she just discarded me like a piece of trash and moved on, and now what am I? I feel like a clown? How do you move on from that?

>>33323749
you can do nothing and bottle up your emotions until you or he dies. maybe it's better that you talk about how you dislike each other, perhaps there could be a breakthrough or new level of understanding and relationship.

other than that accept that he's a boomer idiot/asshole who has problems. we wish that our family members were better, but sometimes we have to accept that they are the assholes they are and nothing will change that. so you can let go of your ego and emotions and angry passions perhaps. it does suck being trapped in a family with shitty people though (and they may feel the same way about you). family does provide some support in spite of all the negativity though: family is like slavery, a shitty institution but does provide some benefits and stability. a difference in slavery is stability from having work to do for all of your life (even an occupation or skill that you don't get paid for or get paid very little for), and medical care, and so on.

thinking more about slavery, like that of the south in the USA. People working jobs nowadays is like slavery. wagie jobs that you get paid little for, somewhat hard to draw the line between that and slavery. people work for each other, they somewhat own each other, it's like slavery with extra steps. there's the matter of accepting and embracing humanity for what they are ("right-wing"). or, accepting and embracing humanity for what they could become, idealistically or not, with ideas of progressivism ("left-wing").

as to how much your father is to blame for such and such. probably to blame to some degree. upbringing and parenting and actions does seriously affect people and who they are. it is a struggle but a goal that one should try for: to change and be different from how parents affected you. then you can be more free from parents. or, just give up to some degree.

rant over, didn't expect it to become political.

Some people shouldn't be allowed to become parents. Time and time again I read about parents failing to recognize something is clearly wrong with their kid. Instead of communicating with them, trying to help them or understand them, they'll just throw them to curve or make their lives miserable by threatening to do so. It makes me spiral every time I read or hear about it. I wish there were some sort of test you had to take before trying to have a kid.

>>33323748
>I want to go back to always knowing who I’m talking to now.
Relatable. Talking to people in these anonymous forums thinking if it's someone I know is bound to make anyone schizophrenic.

>>33324409
>How do you move on from that?
find someone else that obsesses over you and that you think you are out of her league or use this experience to humble yourself

>>33324526
There isn‘t really anything parents can do to help a kid honestly. Most of these cases, these kids were in and out of therapy, off and on meds, in and out of psychiatric hospitals, there was family counseling, etc etc. It‘s easy to look from the outside and assume nobody even tried or gave a crap just because the train wreck could not be stopped. I agree that there should be a test you have to pass to get the privilege of being a parent but I doubt it‘s as simple as you seem to think it is.

I'm sending messages to escorts advertising photography services. Actually I just want to fuck them. Some actually dm'd me back and are trying to work

>>33324584
People really still fall for this bullshit? lol

>>33324587
what bs?

>>33324597
>I aM A pHoTogRApHEr tehehheheeee

>be me
>Have cute colleague
>he flirts a lot, tries to make me laugh
>I like him a lot but I'm hesitating to take it further
>One day bastard boss gives him an assignment that should have gone to me because of seniority
>Coworker points out that I should take the job
>Boss insists that he wants him to do it
>Coworker looks at me, I give him a look to just drop it
> Things get extremely awkward after that
>I no longer work there and we've completely lost contact
Old story but it still hurts.

i despise the fact i look so similar to an incel faggot i know and im so worried people might associate me with the retard.

i would have had my dream life by now if i never went bald

It will be my goal to turn the most man hating feminazi into the most man loving girlfriend I have.

i didnt seize or hold onto any of my chances of love, and i don't get chances anymore

kms

FUCK I CANT BELIEVE I BLEW ALL MY CHANCES AND WASTED MY LIFE

>>33320675
Try 36 years (relatives don't count)

>>33324905
that doesn't work, for the same reason trying to convert your family and friends to Christianity won't work.
That's how people work. We don't want to lose face and admit we were wrong.

>>33325056
there's still time. it wasn't meant to be, move on

I want to wear this new outfit i bought when going out but im too scared

I wish I had the motivation to do exercise more often. I'm so tired of looking like a twig.

>>33325056
it's ogre.

>>33324584
>>33324587
>>33324600
>escorts advertising photography services
is this real?

There is no hope, we have ultimately and pathetically failed. All off ramps have been long past and exhausted, what little mitigating action left to be taken will be done far too late if it is to even succeed at all.

All that there is left to do is bide our time until we are annihilated, round in to camps and executed, pit like hungry dogs in war for the amusement of faceless ego and their benefactors, vaporized in the of nuclear holocaust if lucky or left to suffer in desolation.

It seems absurd to care about the things that once brought me any sense of fulfilment or purpose. I don't do or create really study anything anymore. What's the point if we are all just going to die. I see so many of us succuming to this. It seems to be common sense.

Why do we even bother living like this?
Does anyone have any wisdom to offer or are we all just lost?

I don't want to rekindle my friendship with her because I don't like the fact that she's better than me now. I hide from myself by throwing around words like 'normie' and 'slut' to avoid the fact that I liked it when she was the pathetic one in our relationship.

>>33324905
Try Your fucking worst on me dick-haver.

I made some posts ITT, and it seems that made me feel better. At least it made me act differently. Odd that those two things happened as a result.

>>33323907
Interesting post. I think this applies to siblings as well. Parents can mess people up, so can siblings. Oh, and also those not related to you can mess you up mentally.

>>33324237
Favorite "Naruto" characters (top 3): 1. Orochimaru 2. Madara Uchiha 3. Hiruzen Sarutobi, maybe

Hope my day gets better

>>33325162
>>33325414
(Figurtively to getting a girlfriend) I'M CLIMBING MOUNT EVERST!

I need to coom
I'd even consider doing it with her again

I don't know if I will ever be able to forgive myself for what I did when I was young, or if I even deserve forgiveness. Suicide seems more and more like a foregone conclusion as time passes. I see no future.

I did something unhinged and completely lost trust in my bf
>be me
>dating guy for like 4 months
>already sus of him because I have trust issues, conversation gives me the idea to check online dating apps to see if he's there
>find him on hinge
>figured he just forgot to delete it but I wanna make sure
>hatch dumb plan
>start making fakes matching his type to see if he's active, no dice
>plan B: spam him 2fa codes
>he eventually mentions being spammed
>aw honey wtf that sucks
>Keep at it for a week, pay friend to spam while at work so it gives me an alibi
>eventually get tired of him not deleting
>make fake ig, send him screenshot asking if it's him
>he blocks it lmao
>see if he acts weird that morning, stressed but when asked about it he didn't say anything
>still didn't delete
>send it to myself too, later show him and confront him
>obviously he suspected me so I denied it
>pretends to show me all his emails when attempting login
>we have an argument but eventually it dies down
>he makes up a bullshit theory about it being someone at work who's trying to put a wedge between us
>the profile disappears finally lmao
>I have my friend keep spamming over the weekend to make that check out, stops Monday mid shift
>he still won't admit it was his, can't outright tell him I know it's a lie, so I raise the bar
>say I want revenge, start pulling names of potential culprits
>find out he had a flirt with one of them back in December
>not bothered about that because it was before we dated, bothered that he half denied it until I mentioned wanting to befriend her to dig

At this point I should just break up ngl, I don't think I can trust him anymore. But I played games to avoid admitting I spided on him and now it's a whole pit.

>>33325578
how big are your tits?

>>33325585
Third cup, I'm a 7/10, no won't post them lmao

I'm not having fun having casual sex anymore
last time I only did it because I was incredibly horny
all the novelty and excitement of it is quickly going away
not even a month ago it was so fun
I attribute it to doing a couple of things I had on my bucket list I guess but still it feels like I'm ready to retire from it or at least heavily diminish the frecuency at wich I do it.

It's been 6 years since we broke up.You cheated on me and got pregnant to your step dad, then try to pass it off as mine. Only to get it aborted and try to act like nothing happened. I can't move past this and I really just want to. I can't trust any women now. That was the final nail in the coffin. The worst thing is I am so fucking lonely and I want more than anything to start a family and have kids. But its all so fucked.

>>33325578
Yeah, I think it's a good time to talk it between his ass lying and your trust issues
Next time just be direct instead of scheming
Know the answer to the question before you ask it and dump his ass if he lies

Also, did you make the dating app profile to spy on him or for another reason?

>>33325788
To spy on him, which honestly is more toxic than making it to cheat, I acknowledge this.

I have kind of resolved to back of emotionally and use him for money until it seems like a good time to break up.

>>33320154 (OP)
I picked my job because it's the closest thing you can get to sitting at home browsing the internet all day and being paid for it.

I've been having some SPH ( small penis humiliation ) fantasies lately. Stuff like being pantsed in front of a girl I like, being pushed out of a locker room, forced to be naked on stage, etc. But always my cock will be laughed at. The weird thing is tho I'm 5.5 inches and idk why I'm having this fetish suddenly. WTF I don't wanna have a small penis humiliation fetish

it's over, bros

>>33325592
small ass tits

>>33325947
it's over.

>>33326010
I'm saying. Hold me, bro

I hate women almost as much as I hate myself. Almost.

God, mom, I'm so sorry for being a shit son, you deserve so much better.

>>33326154
How much do you hate yourself?

>tfw fucked up the quote

You weren’t ready before, but you’re ready now. Take the leap. It’s time.

>>33326290
Not enough

>oh it isn't fair that i have to do outside and inside work!!
get over it you fucking bitch, work is work, we do a lot more of it than you do. in fact had you not fired our landscaping guy without even telling us, we wouldn't have to do it

>>33326304
I feel that. Just like everything now. It can never be enough

>>33326337
To be fair, outside work sucks

>>33326350
oh it does, i'm just saying that this undefined bitch has the gall to say that when we're all doing inside and outside work, and it's her just now getting a taste of doing outside work. it's not even HARD work, just using a weedeater that does most of the work on just a few spots in the yard. i have to do the main mowing, and another family member does the ditches, we leave the easy shit to her despite her getting us in this situation and she had the absolute gall to say that

>>33326345
Shit sucks, don't it?

>>33326358
That makes sense, especially if it's a 60 40 company. I work for one, in the 40% category. Us office niggas are in that position for a reason lel. She's a woman so she's less receptive to that type of change anyways. Hopefully it works out

>>33326365
Oh, man, it sucks more than I can put into words. It's whatever though. Going through the whole motion of suicide is even harder, so if that has been surpassed then anything can be surpassed

>>33326394
I wish you well, man.

>>33326479
Thanks, mein negro. Same to you <3

I'm never going to become a real man I don't think I can ever be dominant with a women. I never had a gf, kissed a girl, or had sex and I'm 23 and I want to fucking cry. Real life isn't an anime, there will never be a girl who finds a pathetic guy like me interesting and wants to make the first move. I'm a coward and will probably never find love

>>33326507
You're such a fucking faggot. I really don't know what you're going to do when you realize this is the least of your worries.

I hope my cats not dying.

>>33326535
Post cat

>>33326514
You don't know anything about me or my issues ( besides the one I just posted ) you fucking asswipe

>>33326507
then decide on making the first move instead? waiting for a girl to come to you (good luck with that, won't ever happen unless you're wildly attractive) will not get you anywhere.

yes life isn't anime in that you won't pull a 10/10 while being someone who unironically compares real life to anime and posts anime women on /adv/ while calling himself pathetic (grow a pair) but surely there's a hikikomori woman for you out there in some dnd group

just lower your standards and try the "flirt with everyone approach". if you're flirting with everyone it doesn't feel like you're flirting with anyone and practicing being friendly with people, regardless of their gender or your intentions with them gets you farther than you think. man up and practice being social instead of crying about it on imageboards

>>33326561
Yeah, and? You expect me to know anything besides that? You're a moron

>>33326540

>>33326607
Very nice. I hope they get well. Why are you concerned over their health?

>>33326607
Dude, you really need to learn fundamental internet opsec...

>>33326622
She's singular actually, but she has a strange growth. I'm hoping it is just keratin or something.

>>33326636
Can you take her to the vet? Any other symptoms?

>>33326647
She seems fine otherwise. I have an appointment scheduled.

>>33326669
Good luck bro

>>33326695
thanks i think it might just be a cyst the more i look into it, she's regal looking otherwise but getting old

>>33326627
how

>>33326576
The thing is I AM SOCIAL! I love cosplaying, going out with friends, and talking to people but I'm too much of a coward to ask women out. I'm not afraid of rejection per say but don't want to be seen as a creep. IDK where to find a women who would share my interests ( besides cons and there isn't really the place for it )
>>33326577
>I really don't know what you're going to do when you realize this is the least of your worries.
You don't know what my main worries are in life. I fucking need some comfort and love rn

>>33326766
DNM bible

>>33326793
You're not going tonget comfort and acceotance on the internet

I irrevocably fucked my life up, I had a perfect life, wife, children, job, don't make much money, but I could/should have been happy with what i had. I let my own problems/issues go unsolved or I just didn't flesh them out enough, figure my shit out and let them turn into vices that controlled my life. The literal fairy tale love that I had, that so many people wish for, but never get, I will never have again.

Now I'm stuck between thinking, I should stick it out, do whatever I can to stay around and make it right, try to fix things, but my continued presence only exacerbates the problem, so maybe it would be better if I leave, and try to let them move on and maybe they can heal and do and be better without me, but I see so many people with broken families and how that's affected them, I'm from a broken home. I don't want to do that to my kids. I don't want to leave, I want to try and fix things, I want to be the man I know I could be.

>>33326815
I know I can't rn just want to vent my frustrations here now. I can't vent to my real life friends about this

>>33323389
Uhh etopic pregnancy means she wont be able to have kids after this.... leave her >>33321657
No k2 causes brain hemorrhage wtf???

>>33326793
look for geeky hobbies that have an overlap in demographic with your interests. Most of them have club meetups or game nights or whatever the fuck. Attend those. Hell you could even try flirting at the cons.

I can't help you with flirting unless you want to help yourself. You'll only come across as a creep if you act creepy or don't maintain personal hygiene. If you take care of your body, aren't a sperg who talks like an anime character, don't own a fedora and are respectful about approaching women there's literally nothing about it that could be interpreted as "creep" behavior. Either you let this sink in and loosen up or die alone - there's really no in-between. To find love you have to shoot that first shot (and however many it takes after that to see one go in) and that's an inescapable aspect of it. Every subsequent shot gets easier but if you don't ever shoot that first one you're won't ever find your person.

>>33326822
Figure it out and fix it. Seek self help, therapy, things you need. Become better and embrace yourself in your role.
>>33326829
No it doesn't, brainlet.

I’m content to never try and love or pursue anyone else again. I still feel a connection (or infatuation, if you prefer) with my first love, and nothing else, no one else has come close to that. I guess I should mourn the loss of never having a family, but with my genetics, I think it’s for the better. Big cope, but fuck it.

>>33326829
Natto is the highest source of K2 you can get. 日本語はすごいですね?!

Bitch is always up to something

my entire life revolves around the identity i was groomed into taking on as a teenager by older men on the internet so that i could sexually gratify them
its been really hard fighting it but its been a week and i havent visited any of those familiar websites, currently filling the void by reading charles bukowski

>>33326927
Keep fighting
Life is a struggle
Never give up

how do i stop comparing myself to others and sate my own ego and viewing others as inferior

I love him so much!

>>33326927
がんばった

Her and I are falling hard for each other, but she's in an unhappy relationship and isn't trying hard enough to end it. We're basically dating but not physically involved. I'm so tired of waiting. Want to pull back, but can't when I feel so happy around her.

I really, really, really want to be with a misanthropic woman that still seeks love, just with someone who understands her and shares her feelings. [REDACTED SECOND PART OF THIS]

I want to say sorry for doing so many wrongs, it stained me.
I want to be good, but the more I try the more alone I feel.
I pray that everyone I love and who is in pain will be protected and cared for like I once was.
I don't hope for anything anymore, I have to swallow my pride and keep going. I will just work harder.

Can I let you in on a little secret? I emailed Dateline NBC and they called me about an hour later. That was how my Tuesday went.

>>33320154 (OP)
I'm so tired all the time, I have barely any motivation to function. Feels like even pretending to be a normal person is me lying.
I feel like God doesn't listen to me, and sometimes it feels like God's screaming at me but I'm motionless either way.
I wish I could've been born in better circumstances, I wish I didn't get molested by my brother as a kid, I wish my parents loved each other, I wish I was able to keep friends better. I miss Her.
There was only a brief period of time where I felt like I had everything I wanted. Friends, a girlfriend I love, time to waste, ambitions, imagination.
Man, life after high school is just awful lol.

>>33326856
I will. Thank you.

https://discord.gg/TrzjvjZu

I feel dumb for still chasing after you, you will be gone in a few months and I can't even get you to commit to coming around me. I'm petty and jealous and hope all the time that you aren't having fun without me, I am ashamed of this feeling. I told you I liked you from the start and you talk to me more than anyone I know now, likely because you're just more social than I am, not because you feel the same. Despite all that, the hopelessness, the age difference, language barrier, lack of time, your casual avoidance, not prioritizing seeing me- I think you're one of the most beautiful things I've seen and your eyes light me up since the first time you cast them on me.
I need to stop trying to make you want me, I'm much too sensitive and it's making me miserable when you cancel our plans again and again. Thank god you'll never know any of this.

>>33326822
did u cheat?

>>33327293
Any hints on the deets?

Its been a year and 5 months since my oneitis of 10 years finally let me into her life. We talked for 8 hours and then started making out and went to her bedroom to have sex. Because I had drank roughly 17 to 25 drinks i wasn't able to get hard so I panicked and asked her to be my girlfriend and she immediately got out of bed and put her clothes on. I got black out drunk the next night and called her on the phone and cussed her out for 30 minutes. I then tried to drink myself to death. Woke up in the hospital. Been sober ever since.

>>33327537
Goddamn bro
Gigantic RIP
Literally all you had to do was be chill

>>33327542
>Literally all you had to do was be chill
Yep.

>>33327537
it took you a fifth to just be able to talk to your oneitis? free you nigga wtf

>>33327545
I was a severe alcoholic at the time. She saw me at my absolute worst and still wanted to have sex with me yet I fumbled lmao

it makes me so angry to see you anything but miserable, i stalk your twitter almost obsessively now and each time i see you post like normal, it makes me hate you so much. I thought you just wanted a break and i did just that, i didnt message until you suddenly did a week later, i would have never replied back if i knew it'd end with us no longer friends.
You claim this desire for me to send nudes is due to the principle of it, to see if i'd break my own barriers for you, to prove i'd do anything to make you happy amidst your depression, saying you'd do anything for me if i asked of it. yet you failed the simple task of simple stopping asking me over and over again for any despite me expressing how awful it all made my feel. you rambled on and on, switching from how you didnt want to hurt me and how sorry you were for putting me in this position, to then how our friendship was taking a toll on your mental health, making things worse, but through it all you never stopped bringing up those nudes, guilt tripping me with them all while blaming everything on your depression to excuse your behavior. I gave you so many alternatives, taking an even longer break, or even some detailed advice to try and help you out in your day to day life, but you wanted none of it, persisting i block you which i finally did after hours of back and forth, and i have since regret it every second even with how your behavior makes me wish we never met at all.
Ive since unblocked you, hoping maybe you'll reach out in some way, but i wont bother to reach out first, if what you said about how having a friend was taking a toll on you mentally,, then it'd be selfish for me to do so, i understand mental illness is unpredictable, but to tell someone youre their best friend and act as one for them, only to rip that away a month later, it makes me hate you more than anything else but it'll be a long time before i ever stop wanting you to come back and reconnect and be my best friend again

damn you guys are fucking losers. go to the gym

>>33327550
It doesnt help faggot. Im just a ripped angry nuerotic socially inept guy now

>>33327542
>>33327545
Needless to say boys. Ive lost all libido and dont care about being with another woman again. My pain is constant and sharp.

>>33327547
damn that's heavy. I know I'm a random stranger but if it helps I think that was the absolute best way for things to unfold. yes you may not have gotten laid but it gave you a push that led to you quitting so I don't think you should be too hung up on it and certainly not counting the days since it happened (although it might just be more easily quantifiable thanks to your sobriety...)

>>33327560
Youre trying to make me see the bright side of the worst failure of my life because thats your impulse as a good person. I appreciate it, but its clearly not the best thing that could have happened. I could have been relaxed, we could have fucked in the morning, we could have started dating, I could have drank less gradually (she was sober), we could have eventually been a couple and sober together. Thats the best thing that could have happened. The wirst thing is my exact timeline right now as im writing this to you.

I have the cutest baby girl in the world and she’s actually mine this time. She looks exactly like me. Never trust hoes btw, be a true gamer and play the game

>>33327577
and yet here you are

>>33327547
Fucking nothing is worse than the girl who sees all your insecurities and failures and still wants you for some reason only to change her mind
Like damn
Didn't have to build up hope in me that it could be possible
It was a lot easier before ever having that grain of hope

>>33327550
I lift 5 days a week and conquered obesity last year
Still mentally ill and struggling
Helps with anxiety a bit though so there's that

>>33327579
And I haven’t shown her to you faggots, and I never will

To all the lonely women ITT, blame the whores not the moids. You have no idea what they put men through

>>33327570
you were casually downing 25 drinks and you think you could've gradually stopped? lol. what you're describing is a pipe dream.

if you were unstable enough to get blackout and call to cuss her out one day removed from the "fuck" stage you were just a ticking timebomb and it was only a matter of time before you fucked it up. and who knows if ruining it later would've had the same effect as the wakeup call you ended up with in this timeline. for all you know you could've drunk yourself to death successfully or maybe even never stopped drinking at all

>>33327593
>you were casually downing 25 drinks and you think you could've gradually stopped?
Yes. Because I was lonely and miserable and everytime I've had a gf in the past I barely drank because I was happy with them. And like I said, she was sober. The reason I drank a bit more with her was because I was so nervous. But that stuff goes away once you fuck know what I mean?

>>33327537
What sort of whore talks for 8 hours

>>33327586
Yeah. It has absolutely devastated my brain. I dont care at all about seeking out other women anymore after that.

>>33327596
She wasn't a whore. She's a nice good person.

>>33327537
10 years of hopeless romance and all it took was a couple drinks and 8 hours of free therapy for her to let you dip your stick in her
I could get it done in under an hour

Know your worth, king

>>33327601
How many men did she fuck during your 10 years of admiration

I bet I could get in her pants in 5 minutes

>>33327603
Not under 4 minutes? Lmao beta

I am very sick and I'm going to die soon.

>>33327595
dude, still. you've been stuck on this woman for 10 (well closer to 12 now) years and she dropped you over some whiskey dick and spaghetti falling out of your pockets? and you're blaming yourself for it and are in some sort of self imposed exile from dating?

you managed to come out of this with a positive. you quit drinking despite not having a partner. now stop the self pity and live your life instead of sadposting over a chick who's probably getting bent in half as we speak and doesn't even think of you

>>33327612
>and you're blaming yourself for it and are in some sort of self imposed exile from dating?
Yes

>>33327615
Always remember that she was the hottest nice good person you’ve met *yet*

>>33327511
Yes, I never physically did anything with another woman, but i did it in my heart, and thats all that matters. so it's all deserved, its my own fault. Whatever happens isn't anyone's fault but my own. We weren't perfect, but we were perfect for each other. High-school sweet hearts that managed to survive this big gay world together, and I threw it all away because I wanted more physicality, something I felt ashamed to ask for, I didn't think it was right to try and push her or coerce her into fulfilling whatever degenerate kink I had, so I tried to bury it all and hide part of myself, to ashamed to show the person I love and respect more than anyone else, a gross more base part of myself. Afraid she wouldn't love me or understand. I was wrong and should have been honest, she stood by me through the hardest parts of my life, why I felt like I couldn't show her who I am/was, or at least a part of me I didn't like, I don't know. You ever just want someone to love you and not know the fucked up shit about you, you could separate them from the bad part of you, shield them from it and they could just love the good part. I don't know.

I had a crazy porn addiction, she knew about it, but not how bad, it spiraled into me trying to get something that isn't real, that only exists in fantasy. I've been struggling with what it means to be a man, husband, father etc, and watching porn gave me a feeling of control, I'm not blaming anyone but myself, but I felt/feel like I had no control over anything. How the kids get raised, I'd say this, she'd do that, be it diet, school, screen time, etc. I'd say go through the laundry or the kids toys so there isn't as much to do, free up time etc. She'd buy more and tell me I wasn't doing my job if I threw old stuff away. But really that's just my fault for not being a man worthy of respect, a woman listens to a man she respects. If I had my shit together, had my own car. A better job, better teeth, my own place etc.....

>>33320154 (OP)
I'd just like to say that destroying the freedom of the European and American people on behalf of Israel's desire to silence all opposition is the WRONG FUCKING WAY to stop people from hating Israel. Police brutalizing peaceful protesters is going to prove to be totally counter productive to their aims

I've tried really hard, I still am trying, but the way we communicate will kill me. I'm sorry for being dramatic. I can see it looks like petulant demands to you but for me it's really painful. You are not a bad person for being the way you are. I am not a bad person for being the way I am. I really really really want this to work. I want to try again and again. But every single time it boils down to the same situation, which is to say, it just looks like we are mismatched. I can't be in a relationship like this. It takes a huge toll on me. I've been having horrible panic attacks. During new year I thought I was having a heart attack. I'm constantly anxious, I don't feel secure, I can't sleep, I cry, it's just unhealthy for me. I want this to work but it's so painful. Relationships shouldn't feel like this, I know that much. It's painful. It hurts it hurts it hurts. I hurt you by trying to get you to communicate. You hurt me by not being able to. It's none of our faults. But if nothing changes, if it keeps going like this, there can't be a future between us. I don't want it to just end. I do want to keep trying. But I'm just scared it's not gonna work. We've been trying for a while now. And the dynamic barely changed. Can you see a future for us like this? You've been putting in effort. I've been trying my best. We both tried. Are you willing to try more? I certainly can't, not like this. It's just not a relationship dynamic I can be in, not at all, if nothing changes. The good moments are good, of course they are. There is warmth, of course it is. But when these moments are surrounded by constant fog and distance and apparent nonchalance and uncertainty and second guessing, then how the hell am I meant to move forward like this??

Last time I made the mistake of just breaking it clean off. I thought it's the best way to go about this. When we went back together, I thought stuff might change, either in me or in you, or maybe in us both. This time I'm still trying to hold on to something, but, from experience, it just feels completely pointless. It's my breaking point. You are not horrible for not being able to provide. But I am also not horrible for not being able to survive in a relationship like this, that more often than not, brings me more pain that happiness. It's none of our faults. I can't just push away my needs. God knows I've tried. You can't just provide out of thin air, right? We came to the same conclusion a million times. Call it melodramatic. Call it needy. FUcking, whatever. We spoke of this already. I really don't want to justify yet anohter time how I want to feel close to someone. And I don't want you to justify not wanting to feel close the way I do. The way you feel may make 0 sense in my mind. The way I feel may make completely 0 sense in your mind. It's just the way I am, it' just the way you are, and I'm scared nothing will ever change. This is not sustainable unless something changes. But I'm scared nothing will change. I've tried. I've tried. I've tried. You've tried. I don't want to force you to do anything. I don't want to force myself anymore. Melodramatic, petulant, overly needy, whatever, I'm sorry.

How do you improve the way you communicate verbally? My job is customer-facing, but I struggle to explain anything I haven't repeated a million times.

I can see either you are having a really difficult time and self sabotaging with the LARP or someone from the outside is attempting to push you away from me.

In either case I'm committed to you, unmoved and when you fall down I will hold you.

You are as you are and I accept you.

was a neet for a good few years, got a job, thought it would make me feel different, it doesnt, it feels exactly like school felt, you get there in time, you do what they tell you, you talk shit with your mates to get through the day, without this to occupy me i would go crazy, when im working i cant wait to be free from work kek, i guess im just burnt out from my passions so i dont feel like doing much in my free time to really enjoy it.

>>33320692
>>33320739
>>33320751
>>33320767
>>33320785
>>33320806
>>33326966
>>33327577
>>33327590
>>33327804
you name fags need to kill yourselves immediately

>>33327762
>>33327758

If you wanted me to stick around, you should have treated me right the first time.
I'll never see you as anything more than the person who fucked it up with me, you just keep proving me right every time you play your games.
Stop acting like this is some love story, you know how you fucked up and you know what your doing.
Act right = I won't leave you.

>>33327783
Because it's hard to lie knowing you're wrong?

:(...

is it funny ?liar???

666

I’m so dumb lol I accidentally ordered 3 drinks from McDonald’s when I only needed one
wtf is wrong with me

I'm in trauma therapy and processing the last 25% of it. I was sexually abused by my sister for most of my childhood and middle adolescence. Naturally this has made me very dysfunctional but I'm powering through and have gotten most of the trauma processed now.

The problem now is that this last 25% is the very, very worst of what she did. Processing just one event has left me completely reeling to the point where I tried to commit suicide and my fucking god i was actually gonna fucking do it before someone came and stopped me for trespassing. I keep coming across horrifying realization after horrifying realization, the latest being how I was totally at her mercy. The fiction that I chose to engage in it willingly was something i told myself to make it seem like i had agency when i had none and that has broken my brain in so many ways its indescribable. I can't fucking deal with this anymore, i feel like I might just go legitimate insane from terror and sadness. I am so fucking sad. I am so fucking sad and i just want this all to go away. My entire sense of self is summed up as "child prostititute"

.

>>33327981
I was abused by a psychopathic narcissist hurting me so bad I needed surgery. Stay

I'm 39 and have no career highlights, acoomplishments or things to write about. I'm a very low end part timer and gave up so many opportunities while getting here. My kid sibling has way more achievements than I do and at least 500k more net worth than me (about $100 dollars on a good day).

It's annoying when I read text, like a book, and I see a mistake or typo. Gotta point it out. Mistake on page 338 of this hardback book: at the top it should say "(2^32)" not "(232)".

The book is titled "CompTIA A+ Certification All-in-One Exam Guide, Tenth Edition (Exams 220-1001 & 220-1002"; ISBN13 978-1-260-45403-1; 1524 pp.; 28 chapters; Chapter 9: Implementing Mass Storage; English; non-fiction; 2019; San Francisco; McGraw Hill Education; LCCN 2019007718; microcomputers, study guides, certification; Mike Meyers & Scott Jernigan

It also a chapter on how CPUs work, starting on page 79.

I'm always forgetting theres full grown men in these...jeez man yall r old enough to be my dad's </3

>>33327161
>I want to be good, but the more I try the more alone I feel alone

Have you ever tried to break it down on why you feel this way?
The good path is sometimes harder but ultimately there's less drama.

>>33328020
You are just an asshole and it will ruin your life

>>33326842
Thanks anon, Sorry for the late response but I'm gonna try this. Question is how I can find a club or whatever

>>33328020
Leave while you still can and don't sucked into other internet sinkholes.

>>33328009
No accomplishment? Really? Maybe you excelled at doing some specific work, or you personality is something to brag about. For my own accomplishments, I could say certain things with information systems and programming which other people were interested in and participated in sometimes.

>>33328019
*also has a chapter

Price of that book: 60.00 USD. ("MHID 1-260-45403-7".)

>>33328064
You are talking about 4chan. Will it ruin you life or mess you up? Maybe.

>>33328089
Seriously. Don't get overly-involved in internet "communities". Good advice.

>>33328101
More typos in this post.

>>33328064
Aww thank you fag, I appreciate ur support!

>>33324401
I wanna be able to just accept all this and move on but I can't
I care about her too damn much
More than she does about me I think
Idk how I'm gonna get over this

relapsed after like a year plus everything keeps getting worse and worse and it will keep getting worse i cant deal with this. coping only gets you so far before you break

>>33327989
Hey me too.

>>33320154 (OP)
i want to do it

>>33327751
Your hate is not backed up by any power to do something constructive with that hate. You can hate israel, but sticks and stones won't abolish the israeli state. Also i've never been anti-israel. Their existence is necessary to keep islam in line.

it will be a dream of yours to ever reach me again

Data miners working overtime

I don't like my job
I have very few choices of what else I could do, unless I move to another place (which I don't feel like I can do right now)
Even if I find something new, the voice in the back of my head tells me that maybe it'll be as bad or worse than my current job, in which case the better move should be just staying where I am
I did find one job posting of something that looks interesting, but it would probably require me to move into a smaller apartment since it's a lower paying position in a field I have no training in
It's all so frustrating and intimidating. I miss being a student.

>drive by a church on the way to work, want to check it out

>stop by for an evening service

>all the young women are wearing leggings

>married pastor seems to be flirting with them before service

>never go to that church again

i'm going to try orthodox next

>>33328218
Hey man im.close to relapsing too I just passed my year mark of sobriety care to talk about what exactly made you relapse? Dies your brain torture you everyday? Do you think of all your fuck ups? Are you a socially inept recluse sober? Relapse w booze right?

>ask 4 girls between 2 dating apps if they want to hook up
>they say yes
>ask what time works best for them
>get ghosted

i'm gonna crash out

>>33320154 (OP)
Sorry for not hanging out much anymore. You rejecting me hurt a lot more than I expected. I do hope you find someone you actually like and don't just become a bitter wizard man for no reason.

i know you were just talking to me to run interference after i got that girl flirting with me, it was pretty plainly obvious when you were no longer friendly with me when there was no longer any interference to run

maybe actually get to know me and you'll recognize i'm not someone you need to protect the girls in your community from

but you never did that and thus never realized that girl wasn't someone i wanted to pursue anyway

>>33327828
it's illegal to say that. What's your problem? Who cares? Too dumb to filter?

>>33320154 (OP)
i'm too old to be feeling like i'm immature but i never feel like i've grown up since middle or high school. i feel stuck in the mindset that i want to be with a pretty girl and have her reciprocate my love for her

>this weekend
>visiting parents house
>brother, sister, nieces, nephews, aunts were all over
>mom and two aunts thought i was out of earshot
>all three on the verge of tears as they mention how "socially isolated" i am, that I'm never around, and that i don't have any real life friends
lol if only they knew how bad it was
sucks im a failure and cant live up to their expectations and theyre not even pushy about it, just expressing concern
sorry mom and dad

>>33328873
get in line lol

>>33329070
my experience is not unique, so it seems. Glad to know

i've never been in a relationship and i've had so little physical contact in almost 30 years that I at one time feared how it would turn out and now i've gotten past it to the point of simply not really even caring to think about it. I still like the thought of romance and sex to the point of even considering homosexuality at this point just to try it, even with people who have extreme fetishes.

I'm getting slop pizza and beer on the way home

>>33328796
>What's your problem?
NTA, but, dislike of namefags and tripfags. I dislike when I post in some 4chan general as "Anonymous" and they recognize me for my previous posts due to what I just posted. Happened in two generals so far. That makes me want to not be involved in those generals if I can't be truly anonymous. Names and trips undisputably posted whatever bullshit they did post.

Gym membership + swimming lessons are expensive as hell. I really want to do it desu

>>33329454
u can teach urself to swim for free

>>33329500
I sink bro
I just want some direction before I swim on my own and embarrass myself

Dad's being a bitch again and yelling at my mom

>>33329526
start out in waist deep water, keep your head above it and pretend you're a frog until you're not sinking. it's literally that easy.

>>33329997
nta but this is terrible advice

Toda I learned a house near fren’s old city burned down.

>>33330006
the way I learned was placed in a pool by my father who then backed away slowly as I flailed, when I was a baby. you don't need lessons.

holy fucking shit SHUT THE FUCK UP

>>33330082
If you take enough lessons you can almost get a lifeguard certification, which is what I did about 15 years ago.

He's not taking his meds.

Dad is still yelling at himself now and my mom went off somewhere to make me deal with this shit.

>>33322053
Dude, you should just do it. After 26, it's not really good to still be living with a parent for numerous reasons, pragmatic and sentimental. It's better to gain independance and start your own life eventually, no matter how much it'll feel out of your comfort zone.

>Send a like to a girl on Hinge
>Get a reply a week later
>"So I see you have a lot of German pictures on your profile. I’m moving to Germany for two years in a month for a new job and I was curious if you had any advice or tips about Germany or the German language. I’m trying to learn but it’s tough."
Do I look like TripAdvisor or Duolingo, ya dumb broad?

>>33330551
she was just trying to make conversation based on your profile and looking for a topic you have in common
no wonder you are single lol

Can't download some torrents (such as picrel) for the following reason. Living in the US and my router is blocking the Russians, or the Russians are blocking me. Stupid censorship and politics.

>YOU HAVE TO TAKE SHIT FROM ME BECAUSE OF MUH HORMONES
Why is women being complete bitches for two weeks of the month so accepted? Must be hard to learn to take control of your emotions when you have an excuse to take your stress out on your partner.
I wish I were gay, my life would be so much easier

>>33330858
its the cramps that make them agro, not the hormones, just leave them alone when they’re dealing w that stuff.

>>33330873
I try to, but she comes and starts shit without any justification and if I yell back I'm the bad guy, she crashed out on me today for not having every single detail of a trip we're in the initial stages of planning figured out (we spoke about it for the very first time this morning)

They know I post on this website...

>>33329244
noice but not too often

>>33329443
oh okay

>>33331218
dont tell him what to do

>>33329454
just watch youtube and learn to swim underwater in the shallow end first so you don't drown

I am weak

>>33330400
sorry about your dad, he seems depressed or stressed, i hope you don't end up the same

>>33331227
sorry
>>33331234
weaknesses can be strengths in the right conditions, or you can change

well. as of yesterday, it was one year since we reconnected. what a mess of things we made, huh?
i wondered if you were gonna reach out. a part of me knows you're watching the date, as well. or maybe not - I don't suppose you're used to celebrating the 4th of july, so "day after the 4th" is probably more memorable for me than for you. still, i would not be surprised to learn i was on your mind (maybe more than usual).

it's been an interesting few months since our last interaction. i've made a lot of improvements in responsible areas of my life, though i've made less improvements in the areas i care most about.
finished that major application project, we'll see if they accept me. i hope they do, just because it's interesting and increases job security (and probably pay) as well as putting me in a position to make meaningful choices in a brand new industry which is kinda fun.

ended up deciding not to pursue therapy. or, rather, i was satisfied with what paid chatbots were doing for me, and realized that in this moment of my sense of purpose being utterly annihilated, i need to do more 'me' things and reestablish 'me', and 'me' operating within institutions is not really 'me'. realized 'i' am not compatible with 'my' own wants and needs. i think typically, therapy tries to massage your situation (or tries to give you tools to massage your situation), but i'm not interested in that. i plan on trying to do a kind of controlled ego death. i hate what i am, what i did to you, what i allowed you to do to me, what i did to our friendship, that at the core of all this unnecessary pain is still just a dumb, damaged child with a chip on his shoulder cuz mommy and daddy wouldn't listen to him.

i'm not looking to try and nuke my entire sense of self, just looking to pull out a few dysfunctional pins and see what falls apart, pick the pieces up, maybe fit old pieces in new ways, or add a bit of artistic touch.
CAPTCHA: pgayp

everything just feels boring, mundane, or pointless nowadays, being lonely doesnt help

im probably just gonna off my life if things dont get better and my virginity is still intact by 30

why am i so bad? I'm just fucking stupid trash, I fail at everything I do and I'm so fucking selfish. the other day it was my birthday and I thought about inviting my friend over at 4 in the morning. I never considered them being asleep, I just cared about them celebrating me. fucking worthless piece of shit, I deserve to die, I feel like if people realized my true intentions they would all soon hate me, at best I should've never been born and at worst I should be executed right now, the only reason I haven't killed myself is because I don't deserve mercy, someone else should kill me, if I killed myself I'd only be indulging in my foolish selfishness by making my death about me like the filthy worthless attention-whore that I am, I fucking hate myself so much, I hate my fucking face, I hate my fucking smile, I hate how I fucking look, I'm not ugly, I don't struggle with confidence, I've had women ask me out and compliment me before. I just hate looking at myself, what a fucking scumback that I am, when I look at myself in the mirror I wish I was killed as a child, I wish my mom aborted me, if I died then maybe my family wouldn't be in such disarray, I am the cause of all the misfortune in my friends lives, I need to take all of their pain and die with it, I need to die, I need to lose my life, I fucking hate the fact I'm alive when countless could've-been-geniuses died at birth, why does a useless sack of shit like me get to live when someone else could've? why is it that I'm still alive when my older sister died when we were young? God should've struck me down when I was in the womb to spare her life, she would've actually made a difference in the world, it's a mistake that I'm still alive and kicking, I shouldn't even be here, I'm a filthy stain on the world that needs to be wiped off

my trad gf is probably going to regret masturbating on the phone with me

>>33331478
happy birthday

>>33331552
nah I just lovebombed her with heart emojis, she’ll be fine.

>>33331552
>trad
>masturbating
Fake.

>>33331626
she’s a super horny virgin
swears she’s never inserted as much as a finger or tampon, she just rubs her clit

>>33331657
and u believe her that shes a virgin? r u dumb

>>33331478
i'm sure we could both agree that i'm more likely to predict the correct number of only one die than i am to predict the correct number of one hundred dice, and yet i reckon you'd insist to me that the issue isn't that you're tuned too much into negative sensations, but truly are just bad at everything.
learning to give yourself compassion would probably do a lot to solve most of your problems. of course, you're probably writing here to vent and not receive advice
BUT HEY, THAT'S JUST A THEORY

>>33331478
i believe my parents would sacrifice me if it meant saving my older sister from dying of cancer at such a young age, me being here is a mistake and it shows with how they raise me versus how they raised her

they never wanted a son, they never wanted me, they probably want me to fuck off and die so they can restart their family fresh without a worthless boy in it

>>33331740
i wish my mother's womb closed on me, i should've never gone out, the sun should've never shined when i was born, she should've never conceived me, my birth is my biggest mistake, i really do hope nothing good comes of my birth as i take everything i've done to the afterlife so no one has to deal with me

i hope reincarnation is real, hey maybe jeets were right, hopefully i could recycle myself into a child in my next life thats actually wanted, maybe my older sister wouldn't have gotten sick, maybe my parents would try to raise me, i hope they don't kill me one day

>>33331762
if you werent wanted then you wouldve been put up for adoption, clearly your parents mustve wanted you to some degree

>>33331773
my mother was adopted, i don't think she could bring herself to do that especially with how her childhood was

>>33331782
sorry about that then, you shouldnt feel like you are the problem here though, having children means you take up the responsibility to care for them no matter what and if that doesn’t happen, the child is never to be blamed.

>>33331851
oh i see, thanks anon

>>33330556
The problem, which I should have mentioned earlier, is that I live in the US and not somewhere in Europe. If I were a european or she was only going for a week or even a month for vacation or something, I'd be more receptive and willing to oblige, but two years overseas is a nearly impossible way to start a long-term relationship between two people who've never met before. And yes, she supposedly wants a long-term as well. It's just like, if you're foing to fuck right off, why even match? And to ask for handouts right out of the gate? I visit my folks on the east coast more than once a year and I still put in my bio that I'm only visiting for a weekend or so as a warning

>>33331675
I’d say the same if I didn’t know her

i wish someone would just kill me

seems like the majority of people will cheat, given the opportunity

>>33332380
Hard life?

>>33332406
lmao

i think i've reached the end of the line. i don't see a future for myself and i don't know where to go from here. i'm completely alone, no friends, no family, and every time l i try to talk to a woman, i'm just a ball of nerves and it comes across like i've never spoken to a human being before. i only know how to make a fool of myself.
i got blackout drunk last night and the only thing i can remember is passing out on the bathroom floor after vomiting up everything i drank. i spent most of today trying not to throw up again, and yet i'm still craving alcohol at 1am.

it is easier to make chatgpt say nigger than it is to make it name the jew

>>33332470
I hope it gets better, anon

>>33327627
sounds like there was issues in the marriage before all this, How could you not trust being open with someone you married and have a kid with? and how does the lack of respect lead to cheating and not falling out of love or physically not being attracted to them anymore? do you think some random girl you try to hook up with while married will give you more respect than the mother of your child? if so, you probably should just get divorced.

>>33332396
I am against cheating on a deep moral level. it's why my parents split our family up and I can't help but feel like it started the darkness in our lives. with that said, I was a lonely kid and even when I'm in a committed relationship I consider it almost every time it's been "offered." I don't do it but I figure if even I am tempted somewhat, then what you say must be true.

I hate it when my brain decides to go through nightly life evaluations and regrets. Studies have shown that it's the WORST time ever to do that, but I can't stop it.
I just want to know that everything will be alright, that's all.

>>33332663
take sleep meds around an hour before u plan to sleep, completely eliminates that nightly phase of those sort of thoughts which usually happens from boredom anyways.

To get to the level my crush likes is going to take a lot of work. I understand I'm like her Stephen Hawking, but to really get her to like me I have to be at this guy's level... Without the smoking.

Today tested my resolve. I'll be fine. Just another day. Wonder how my life would be if I ran off with you. I still love you regardless. Could only send good energy your way. It's the only thing I can do for you now. I will never let myself live if I had knew then. Hope you think of me just how much I think of you.

My relationship is failing.
Recently found out my boyfriend of 10+ years has been cheating on me (for a while) and its mentally fucked me up.
I know our relationship wasn't perfect, but I really had no clue he'd cheat, I thought loyalty was the one thing we had going for us. He said it's because I didn't show him enough affection/lust in our relationship, but I feel the same in return and would never cheat on him. we have children together (one of them being special needs and will need support the rest of her life) and I'm the default parent, making appointments and dealing with their schooling, health, therapies, and overall well-being (which comes as a parent I'm not complaining) but maybe I'm too overwhelmed to be some sort of porn slut for him like he wants. We never have alone time unless it's when everyone's sleeping and I'm tired from being a mom all day and him working 24-7 so it's hard to be intimate.
I don't want to leave him I love him so much, but he clearly has different feelings toward me now weather it's because I've gained so much weight, I have no sense of identity since becoming a mom, or because I'm over emotional from being constantly overwhelmed with my life's responsibilities. He put so much effort into social media present and looking good for friends and family I just wish he'd communicated to me his true feelings before things got this bad. I feel broken

>>33332878
Don’t have any advice but I read your post and it broke my heart. Sorry that you’re suffering so much, I hope it gets better

>>33332878
drop ur discord and ill become ur new bf, i'll treat u better than him

>>33332878
>and I'm tired from being a mom all day
See, this is your problem as well as many other womens problem. Your "job" is EASY. Taking care of your kids, cleaning, and cooking. That shit should be hard coded into your DNA and should be easy, but instead you want to be fat and lazy and complain about your easy life because it's not easy enough. You can't compare "being a mom all day" to "working 24/7", you fucking moron. He is absolutely doing more than you AND STILL WANTS TO PUT OUT, SO WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE? You can't even look good for him, claiming you've gained weight! No wonder he's fucking cheating on you! You've got it so fucking easy and you can't even do the bare minimum! I hope he dumps your ass and double name changes so you can't get any child support.

>>33332905
t. Only child

>>33332907
t. fat lazy blob

>>33332910
I’m a man who grew up with younger siblings you stupid dysgenic faggot. You typed your entire incel diatribe just to be a cunt because you hate yourself