Recently, I found out from a source that my "Christian" wife was a total whore in college. One of the primary reasons I married her is because I thought she wasn't one of those people. We have two kids together ages three and four. I no longer feel the desire to touch or do sexual things with her. She previously didn't take her religion too seriously but she found out that I found out about her and she's turned into a hyper-fundamentalist conservative Christian. The family now goes to church whenever possible and she keeps insisting we do "couple therapy sessions" run by the pastor himself. You'd think she came from the 1700s from the way she does and says things. Every night she attempts to go onto me but I keep rejecting her, a few times I heard her go into the bathroom and cry a little.

Just give me advice, /adv/. Anything to help me. I don't know what to do.

You have little kids. Do you really want them to go through a divorce and having split custody and all that jazz? Wait till they are 18 and divorce or cope and have sex with other women or look past her 'history'.

>>33320763
What can I do to cope for 18 more years?

>>33320748 (OP)
Don't be fooled by the kids, leave

>>33320849
Nothing, you will become a miserable fuck who hates everybody and is hated back.
You know at least 1 guy that ended up like that no?

>>33320748 (OP)
fuck a whore or 2, you'll feel better

>>33320748 (OP)
Sometimes people change, anon. I've seen people lose themselves when they're young, usually due to unhealed trauma or other issues - no one genuinely *wants* to get fucked by bunch of different men; they really just want to be loved but don't know how to get that, so they throw their body out there because it's the only way they know how.

Then eventually they realize how much damage they've been doing themselves and have a "come to Jesus" moment where they decide they can't keep living like that. Often they are so disgusted by their past they genuinely change.

Meaning, the woman you are married to know may not be the woman who was whoring around in college. They might be two very different people.

My advice is to give her the benefit of the doubt and accept that she's changed. If she gives you reason to believe she hasn't, then you can act on that, but otherwise be kind.

>>33320748 (OP)
WHAT A LIFE

Forgive them, because that's what Jesus would do.

>>33320748 (OP)
I won't read yet another creative writing exercise posted by an aspiring soap opera script writer.

>>33320979
....you did just read it though.

>>33320748 (OP)
Moron

Christian girls are there to absolve themselves of thier sins.

Good people don't need an ancient childrens book to know how to behave.

>>33320748 (OP)
You mean you've been with your wife long enough to have children with her with no problems but you find out she had a few relationships in college and it's over for you? Why?

>>33321010
Nice minimization.

The problem is she lied about something important he cares about. Thats relationship ending.

>>33320944
Then she shouldn't need the acts of piety. It's just an act to her, because she is trying everything but talking to him.

>>33320748 (OP)
You took a vow. The vow was in sickness & health, richer or poorer, for better or worse. It wasn't "neither of us should have whored in our past". You married her, had kids by her. You know she is not the same woman as she was back then. If you divorce, you break the vow and you also mess up your children's lives.

If you were dating and had no kids, I'd tell you to break up. But marriage & kids? Things are a bit bigger than just your wounded pride. Which I don't blame you for I'd feel fucked up all the same if I found out what you found out. It's not easy for you at all. But you're an adult. Your kids don't deserve to reap the consequences for what your wife did in her past. Protect them.

>>33320748 (OP)
Staying out of obligation can also breed resentment issues which is not a healthy dynamic. Your decision on how to respond should be one you can be personally satisfied with as well.

>>33321024
"Staying together for the kids" doesn't help kids. It's just the lesser of the standard 2 options

>>33320944
>>33321010
>>33321024
>People change bruh just accept it
Christkeks are the lowest form of human

>>33321019
You don't need piety but for some people it's a marked sign of their change and it helps them create a distinct "before and after"

>>33321072
People do change. Also I'm not Christian

>>33321086
>People do change
People never change.

>>33320748 (OP)
>I don't know what to do.
Stop being an asshole, I guess?

Look, you say you married her because you thought she wasn't "one of those people". And you were married to her for several years before finding out about her history. If you spent several years not being able to tell that she is "one of those people", doesn't that prove that whether she is or isn't "one of those people" doesn't actually matter even the tiniest bit? If you can't tell the difference, why is it important? It's not like she's been cheating on you. Was she supposed to be saving herself up for you before she met you and knew you existed? None of this matters even slightly. Get the fuck over it.

>>33321177
>Who cares if he murdered a person 20 years ago, he hasn't done it again. Why are you so anxious around him?

>>33321071
>"Staying together for the kids" doesn't help kids.
It's better than raising them separated.

>>33321177
>just relax and enjoy being a cuck
working on the sabbath again, rabbi?

>>33321670
KEK

>>33320748 (OP)
lol
you people don't deserve happiness to be honest

OP how did you find out and how did she find out you found out???

>>33321670
First of all, you anti-Semite, the Sabbath ended, as the sun has already fallen. Second of all, there are good arguments to be made on either side, but with nuances.
One the one hand, he could divorce his wife if he cannot truly love her for who she is now. It's not anon's fault he feels this way, but that is how he feels. Can you blame a man for feeling more pain than you would in the same circumstance? No, because every man is different. Anon can make this choice, but must be aware that it will damage his children, and worst of all, may have his now ex-wife resorting to having a string of bad relationships with random men, as she used to all in front of his kids, or she may end up with a fundie who is going to brainwash his kids. That is quite the risk, which may not be worth it.
On the other hand, anon could try to deal with his feelings by talking them out, by expressing what he thinks to his wife, but being honest with himself. Does this make him feel worth less? Does it make him feel like he isn't married to the person he married, and does he think she can change and do for him what she never did for the others, which is to give her heart and her existence to him and his children? That is also worth looking into. Of course, she may not have changed, and if that is the case, then anon risks losing more of his life to a relationship that is doomed from the start.
Whatever anon chooses, he is not to blame for this situation, because he didn't lie about his past, and his wife did. How he reacts and the consequences of those acts are entirely his responsibility, though.

How does someone even get here? You didn't think to ask about her sexual history at any point between meeting her and marrying her? I mean what the fuck.

How can you get into a legally binding contract with a woman you don't know like the back of your hand? Why was this never brought up when or before sex started? Sounds like you didn't vet enough, stupid. Sorry but it's on you honestly. Don't marry whores? Surely there were signs.

HOW do you get here?? If you're gonna be fucked you may as well tell is the story as a learning lesson. What do I need to do to never end up here with a girl

>>33321113
>People never change.

We got a fucking Dr. House here. LMAO
Good one, Anon

>>33322055
Drink your prune juice and go back to bed, boomer. The 2000s called.

>>33322045
You underestimate how well women are at hiding their past.

>>33321980
Not really related, but what's wrong with not wanting to date someone who used to be promiscuous?

>>33322193
There's nothing wrong with that, anon. However, OP is married and therefore his actions have more consequences than the ending of a relationship or the hurt feelings of his soon-to-be ex-wife.

>>33322180
It isn't hard to have an honest conversation with a woman you are dating, and seeing the signs in her body language if you believe she is lying. Or to press a woman until she confirms your suspicions at least. I always have the talk before anything goes down. If you find out later that "there was more" or some shit, that's when you bail once you've had your fun and she shows she isn't long term material. Because why would you stick with a dishonest bitch? And it shouldn't take until after marriage to discover that. Did OP just put a ring on the first hoe to put out? I mean wtf

>>33322211
>It isn't hard to have an honest conversation with a woman you are dating, and seeing the signs in her body language if you believe she is lying.
Women are expert liars.

>>33322193
most normal people had fun while young, that's all, not always sex related but to be honest that the least damaging and life altering of all the options, I was almost recruited in a gang for example (not even a kid from the hood I just got the wrong crowd as friends).
if you don't think you'll like what you'll find out if you dig up the past of your SO you just don't.
I was with a model a couple years ago
did I had strong suspicions that she escorted for rich businessmen and CEOs.
was I ready to learn that? not really, so I never dug up. I just confirmed my suspicions once we broke up and a friend told me she actually saw her on one of those catalogs only the high rollers get to ever see.

>>33322233
>I was almost recruited in a gang for example
Greentext/story?

>>33322202
I can understand that. If I were in op's shoes I'd just suck it up and try to get over it. No point in destroying a family over this.

>>33322233
I'd rather not date a woman who potentially slept with enough men to fill up a city bus or two. I'm not saying I deserve a virgin girlfriend or anything like that, but I prefer to be with someone who didn't spread her legs for many men. You can't really use the "experienced woman" angle because there's no guarantee that I'll get the same desire and willingness she showed to those other men. Overall it's a preference. Maybe I'll meet a woman who did a have a hoe phase and I'll look past it because I either don't care about her sexual history anymore or there's something really special about her, but right now it's a deal breaker.

>>33321177
Dishonest. The fact that he wasn’t able to tell at all should probably make him more nervous even. If she’s hid it that well what else could she hide from him in the future? Frankly my mind would be racing and his probably is too.

>>33322233
>I was almost recruited in a gang
Yes, your bad English makes that exceedingly easy to believe.

>>33320748 (OP)
what history do you have? did you sleep with someone before settling down with your wife? it would be very hypocritical to judge her if you have

>>33322241
my city growing up had a lot of gangs in most neighborhoods other than the couple of richest ones, and even then there were rumors of rich kids being in charge of some gangs the other poorer neighborhoods had but I don't think that was really common
anyways I skipped classes to go to the arcade and loiter when I was in 9th grade and I eventually met people who were into gangs.
these gangs were not like the ones we have nowadays or the ones you're picturing, it was mostly young delinquents getting drunk/high on public spaces, and stealing a thing or two to keep that habit
I was never into alcohol drugs (still don't like them, I partied despite me not liking them not to get drunk back in my 20s), so I just spent time with them with the hope to grope a girls or two because for some reason a lot of girls would go for these kind of guys and will get drunk with them and once they were drunk it was just normal for everyone to at least cop a feel.
anyways I quickly realized all of this was too out of my comfort zone so I stopped getting into it be moment they started talking about using the young/small/rich-looking kid to be a guard while they steal bikes or something.
I don't regret much because I didn't do much but I'm still grateful I didn't get sucked up into it, easy pussy was a temptation for sure.

>>33320748 (OP)
Out of curiosity, who/what was your source? I assume you must have seen some pretty damning evidence and didn’t just go off of word of mouth of someone or something
>she found out that I found out about her and she's turned into a hyper-fundamentalist conservative Christian
See, this just rubs me the wrong way. The other people in the thread might have had a point if not for this. This is just a shameless shallow attempt at trying to ply you into forgetting about it. Quite literally the equivalent of a criminal caught red handed in the act and trying to bribe someone to look the other way. She’s appealing to what you desire and not actually trying to resolve anything, but then again, what is there to resolve? Very unfortunate situation as a whole, I don’t really know what to tell you man, your kids matter and are important but what you want and how you feel matters too, and if this is something you see eating away at you for the rest of your life, well, I guess you have a tough decision ahead of you.

>>33322314
I just use english as a cheap tool, I have 0 respect for this language to be honest.

>>33322322
men and women do not derive the same value from sex.

>>33322357
Yet you continue to use it because it's the most important language. Seethe, Paco.

>>33322377
of course, like I use my car everyday
it's a tool

the liberal experiment failed. theres no point in marriage or kids if her hole was used by double digits.

>>33322445
there was no “experiment”. us ending up in this position was very purposefully calculated.

>>33320748 (OP)
>people actually falling for this obvious larp
The average IQ of this board is 70 at most

>>33322530
Why do you think it's larp? It's a common occurrence in the modern day.

>>33322362
oh so you did, but you just wanna be a little bitch about your wife having a history
grow the fuck up lol

>>33320748 (OP)
You're an intimacy anorexic. Dr Doug Weiss can help you not be a disgusting freak

>>33322774
not the op retard. what i said remains true regardless of your asshurt.

>>33320748 (OP)
Ignore the trolls, who are ALL virgin incels.

First of all, how do you know your "source" is telling the truth? There are some very vicious lying people out there.

Second, define "total whore." Exaggerated language like that may suggest you are overreacting to relatively minor indiscretions.

Third, at least 5 years have passed since whatever her indiscretions were. Can you not imagine that she has changed from the person she was back then?

Fourth, do you not believe in being Born Again and forgiven by God?

Finally, doesn't her desire to get counselling to help the two of you through this strike you as a more mature and rational response to the current crisis than your hysteria?

>>33320748 (OP)
This is the wrong place to ask, you’re asking to be gaslit by women who also have body counts in the double digits and troons. Best advice I can offer is to picture how you see yourself knowing this down the line.

>have a pseudo trad wife with whorish background
>refuse to touch her or engage with her sexually
Lol this isn't going to go off the rails anytime soon.

anon for the love of God just love your wife
if there's paternity doubs resolve them with a test, if there's not let bygones be bygones. let your wife seduce you man this is so much better than being stuck in a loveless marriage

>>33323285
>>33323991
The christkikes strike again

>>33321268
>Equating having sex with committing murder.
Fucking idiot.

>>33322583
It's a larp because the board is known for infestations of both incels and r*ddit degenerates who treat this subject like catnip for their respective confirmation biases.
The post was crafted to piss literally everybody off at the same time: degenerates because OP is judging past behavior, incels because his wife supposedly hid the information and is now letting them power trip vicariously by OP rejecting her, and conservatives because OP knowingly married a woman who was only a lukewarm Christian and is now somehow surprised she didn't take the morals seriously.

And it worked, again, because this board is terminally retarded.

>>33324461
Not that guy, but the point of the analogy is to demonstrate the reasoning.
Obviously, you don't think sex under those circumstances is immoral, and you have zero ability or interest in empathizing with those who do, so he used an example that even you would recognize as immoral to point out why your argument about it being "the past" is utterly unconvincing to people who find the behavior inherently disgusting.

I think you know this, and are just being obtuse on purpose so you can feel like you're "winning" by shutting down whatever someone else says with thoughtless one-liners.

>>33324727
>The post was crafted to piss literally everybody off at the same time: degenerates because OP is judging past behavior, incels because his wife supposedly hid the information and is now letting them power trip vicariously by OP rejecting her, and conservatives because OP knowingly married a woman who was only a lukewarm Christian and is now somehow surprised she didn't take the morals seriously.
kek, when you put it that way it does sound like a larp

>>33324727
>I think you know this, and are just being obtuse on purpose so you can feel like you're "winning" by shutting down whatever someone else says with thoughtless one-liners.
First part of your post is whatever but yeah you hit the nail on the head here

Not sure if this is worth anything, but I am in a 'staying together for the kids' marriage. My act is so good that my wife thinks we are okay now. Kids are doing great, our couple friends all point out how great our relationship is. My wife is kind of smug about how rock solid we are. I have close friends who would definitely ask if we didn't seem good, and they don't. I think I have actually fooled everyone.
My point is, it is doable to stay for the kids and have them not grow up in a shitty environment. I, however, am beyond miserable. I count down the days until the youngest turns 18 like it's a prison sentence. You can do it, for their sake, if you want. But there is a cost.

>>33325046
Why are you miserable in the relationship? What makes you want to leave?

>>33320748 (OP)
stop being such an uptight little bitch
>>33320849
>What can I do to cope for 18 more years?
see above

>>33320748 (OP)
Do you think she cheated on you?

Why aren't you accepting your wife's humanity?

>>33320748 (OP)
Kill her

>>33320748 (OP)
I dont think I could live with it. Im more of a purist, which is why I cant survive in this world.
> I don't know what to do.
What you should do, is fix things with her. What I would do, is leave her & die alone.

>>33320944
dont listen to this delusional cuck

>>33326591
Amazing how cucked this board has become

>>33326591
Real. My philosophy will always be virgin or nothing - there's no prize for second place

>>33326533
>>33326586
>>33326591
>>33326613
>>33326649
trvke

>>33320748 (OP)
>muh christianity
lol
lmao
christcucks are funny as fuck

>>33324461
In traditional Mormon doctrine, sexual sin, particularly sexual relations outside of marriage, has historically been considered one of the most serious sins, second only to murder. This teaching comes most clearly from the Book of Alma in the Book of Mormon, specifically Alma 39. In this chapter, the prophet Alma is counseling his son Corianton, who had committed sexual sin. Alma says: "Know ye not, my son, that these things are an abomination in the sight of the Lord; yea, most abominable above all sins save it be the shedding of innocent blood or denying the Holy Ghost?" (Alma 39:5). Here, "these things" refers to sexual immorality. Corianton had forsaken his ministry and pursued a woman named Isabel. Sexual sin is considered as second only to murder (shedding of innocent blood) and denying the Holy Ghost, which are often considered the gravest sins.

>>33327891
>Mormon doctrine

>>33327905
The worlds greatest compendium of knowledge and wisdom.

>>33320748 (OP)
Does she take good care of the kids? In that case you're golden. Just find a side piece to fuck. You could tell your wife that it's sexually over between you but it's probably better to let her cry in the bathroom.

>>33322180
Always assume that she's been whoring around.
LMAO imagine thinking that a "christian" woman over the age of 18 is still pure let alone a virgin. Don't even ask, if she tries to avoid the subject the reason is obvious, and if you ask she'll lie. If you want to deal with women you'll have to accept that they are all whores without exception. Really OP, are you surprised? What did you expect, that she had been saving herself for you? That's just too many years spent from the moment her sexual desires awoke without sucking Chad's cock in a society that begs women to suck nigger cock. No matter how saint they are, they all go through a YOLO hedonistic phase at least once, either as teens or in their early 20s, and in such a mindset, with their own ideals and self control as the only thing that'd been stopping them from having sex as much as they wanted, you can imagine what happens. It's just too easy for women to whore around, you can't expect to find one who hadn't at least tried, since it all depends on themselves. The more strict and austere she is, the more likely it's because she's been built by an hedonistic phase. It just makes sense if you think about the order of the pyramid of needs, how could a woman build values and become religious and austere before getting tired of unshackled hedonism and sexual pleasure?

>>33320748 (OP)
I have no sympathy for someone who makes life decisions based on "a source"

>>33321980
“you people” being? if you think anyone is going to react positively to the news of their significant other being the town bicycle once upon a time you have another thing coming