Thread 33321241

I've been following the book how to win friends and influence people for 5 years now but people just dont want to be around me. My hygiene is fine, my looks are average, I try and be positive but its so clear no-one wants anything to do with me as they retire to their group of friends when they can. I often have to say things multiple time because people act like I said nothing even though my voice isint quiet. I'm so blackpilled on people that i've just resigned my life to drinking and watching movies on the weekend...23yr old btw

tldr: zoomer cant make friends

>>33321241 (OP)
Maybe you are in a social circle of morons? Try meeting people that are different from you usual peers.

>>33321241 (OP)
i wouldn't be so hard on myself; people normally retreat to their group of friends bc its what they're used to. what HTWFAIP doesn't touch on is the dynamics / feelings because within those groups they've got things they bond over and shared jokes but most importantly a shared vibe they can reliably enter when they see each other; HTWFAIP doesn't really touch on that.

truth is, everyone isn't meant for everyone

the problem with HTWFAIP is that it's very good at giving you mild connections with a broad range of people but not as good at deepening the connections, which you can only do with hobbies. what sort of stuff are you into? 4chan humour, memes, politics, trading, math, anime, vidya, youtube, twitch, netflix??? can literally be anything. bring one of these up and you'll filter towards people who get you more.

>>33321260
I have been. I've joined different clubs, I've worked different jobs, I've tried discord and MMO's and the experince is always the same. The only other thing I can think of is moving city but thats very drasric for something that's not guarntee'd

>>33321272
Are you a foreigner? Disabled? Mentally ill? Something strange about you or your clothes? Some other isolation causing factor?

>>33321284
I think I've become much less caring of what people think of me since I have nothing to lose socially but not to the extent of being socially unaware. I dress like a Devil may cry character but thats it...I dont think those are lage factors for total social exclusion

>>33321241 (OP)
Create your own foreground for everyone else to be in the background of. Be warned, though, you will get a lot of low level attack for being "narcissistic," "sociopathic," etc. - the usual crabs in a bucket antics.

>>33321426
So either wah people will dislike me? I know that thinking everyone is the problem means YOU are the problem but I'm really beginning to believe I'm the only human who has true kindness in them.

>>33321438
>thinking everyone is the problem
I did say you would have a following, so not everyone.

>>33321559
Oops, wrong thread. Nevertheless, I didn't say everyone, just that crab antics are to be expected if you're doing well.

>>33321241 (OP)
I'm older than you, and have had similar frustrations through my life. It will keep happening; you will still get people talking over you about unrelated topics while you're saying something, barely registering what you're telling them, or cutting you out of social events not out of maliciousness but simply because they forgot you exist.

There's a lot of possible causes for this (a "drone", mumbly way of talking; talking too much; low self-esteem tending to make you unintentionally back down/over-agreeable in conversations), but I wouldn't worry too much about the specifics. Some of us just inherently tend to fade into the background, and fretting too much over exactly why tends to result in pointless wallowing and low self-esteem vicious cycles.

What worked for me was taking people aside and talking one-on-one in person, or with a group of no more than three people. People interact very differently in groups than they do on their own, and you might be someone who is better at handling people one at a time than within a group. Turn to someone who doesn't look very engaged and start talking about something else while a group conversation is going, if in a social context.

>I've been following the book how to win friends and influence people for 5 years now
Gee, beats me why nobody would be including you in their life.

>>33323690
My bad, I had a terrible upbringing so reading a book autisticly so I can make friends is the best my brain can do. Imo, you sound like you dont belong on this board or this site for that fact.

>>33323690
>Work on yourself if you want to get friends
>lmao, did you seriously work on yourself to get friends? You're such a fucking loser KEK
It's so tiresome
>>33325278
Ignore that normalfag, they don't know that there are people who face social difficulties.