i'm sorry if this is sounds a bit too whiny compared to some of the other problems in this board, but it's been making me feel sick and hopeless.

i'm going to attempt to keep it short, so:

> have an intense passion for something & desperately want to pursue it (to the point of feeling suicidal if i feel like i'm unable to accomplish this goal. my entire life feels destined to do this ONE thing)
> begin working on project for said interest
> ex-friend is majorly popular in said interest scene, and would surely talk about me to their connections once they discover i've begun to pursue the same field
> nauseous and paranoid at the thought of being watched, made fun of, and forced out
> too embarrassed to even start now
> depressed because the ONE dream i had feels suffocated by fear of other people's opinions

does anyone have any advice on how to stop caring about what other people think or say? i feel so stuck, but maybe it's just my autism causing me to think about it in such a black and white view... thanks

>>33345371 (OP)
Drugs

i think it's important to note that i'm not fearful because of anything specific. i haven't done anything other than stop being friends with said person, but they have a tendency to be hateful regardless.