I can't get an erection anymore because I don't look like the tall, handsome, big handed, well endowed alphas in hentai and shoujo manga. It makes me think that sex is a divine consummation of a higher beauty that I can never attain. All the dirty-old-man/office-worker/teacher rape hentai disgusts me so don't recommend that. When I think of myself masturbating or having sex in third person I'm so disgusted by my body, bone structure, narrow shoulders, prey eyes, gross arm and leg hair, only 5'8", girl hips, ugly face, averageness and below averageness, like some frankenstein androgyny experiment gone wrong, that I cannot achieve sexual fulfillment. I'm filled with contempt at the average person but it turns out I'm one too, so now I hate myself. At best masturbation is a purgation ritual pursued with desperate fervor, and maintaining an erection is like trying to pump up a ball with a tiny imperceptible hole. There is no sense of fulfillment like in the past (when I still thought of myself as somebody who deserved sex in the distant future). I often fantasize about cutting my penis off, or just no longer having any sex parts, to fully disqualify myself from a race I will never win. Also I'm 23 and a virgin.

>>33361056 (OP)
I feel the same, sex should only exist between beautiful people and the rest should just die off
But unfortunately most ugly/average people are able to delude themselves into thinking they somehow deserve sex and are being able to manipulate others to get it
What baffles me the most is that they're selfish enough to pass down their genes and create more ugly copies of themselves

The fatter, older, uglier, baldier, bastardier, the better
Only within the most confusing, conflicting mix of arousal, shame, perversion, pleasure, filth, excitement, debauchery, denigration, tension can the greatest cooms occur

>>33361154
i think my central problem is that i was raised to be very entitled and disdainful towards people i deemed "average", but now i realized i was average all along and i can't handle that worldview being turned against me, and at the same time it seems too correct for me to completely discard, so instead i'm on an endless, futile quest for self improvement

back to sex. even ugly people understand beauty. no ugly person thinks he or she is beautiful. "standards" don't actually exist. an ugly person is still more attracted to beautiful people than ugly people. the problem is of what can be realistically obtained, not of genuine desire. seeing fat to skinnyfat males and gross tattooed women with potato faces having sex at best fills me with fascination of watching zoo animals mate, and at worst with visceral disgust.

>>33361154
also another problem is that i only think of sex as a way to affirm my worth. there is complete disregard for the other person. all i care about is seeming better/superior in comparison to others.

>>33361321
Go seek therapy.

And stop thinking you are hot shit. See people as people instead of dehumanizing them.

Also, BEAUTY is subjective.

You are a bimbo. Reflect on how shameful and idiotic your views are and change.

>>33361056 (OP)
>I don't look like the tall, handsome, big handed, well endowed alphas in hentai

>>33361438
human beauty is pretty objective
i don't think i'm "hot shit" but all i care about is being superior to others because that's the only way you can be respected with certainty. i hate ugliness and ugly people and would do anything to stop being ugly.

>>33361290
A narcissist with zero self esteem, uh oh

>>33361572
People are more than their external appearance, I know, shocking. Sure the world is chock full of ugly shits but some of them have a heart full of something that makes you kinda root for them, and others, pretty people, are so terribly milquetoast or numb skulls or scared of or uninterested/uncurious in deviating or whatever the fuck it is about their asinine blockhead personalities, that their external image loses its lustre real quick and whatever first impression of them you had that drew you in fades off real fast.

There's more to somebody's appeal, charisma, draw, than a still snapshot of their appearance. Although the exterior image plays a large part in combination with all the other factors. But how a person carries themselves, the animation, the reactions, behaviour, voice, words, background, history, actions, choices etc etc etc

And these stories and sides of people, you can only unlock... By... Possessing a certain amount of social dexterity and knowledge of the world, and making links n stuff, associations, familiarities, blah blah. Then you'll see a lot more stories than just, he's le ugly, she's le purdy

Somebody who wields their appearance well, is, well, something rare and we love to see it.

>>33361902
i was born a pure hearted, sensitive boy, but forced to become a narcissist when social rejection and personal failure meant i could no longer take myself for granted and operate on the delusional belief that everything is fine

>>33361507
you needed to read my post beyond the first sentence to know that i DON'T want to be a filthy old man

>>33362001
Well then, rejecting others is a coping response to others rejecting you. Maybe what you longingly wish for and are in desperate need of is a small hug of acceptance rather than boisterous sex

>>33362354
that only happens in anime romances. relationships are transactional. the only way to keep people around is to become exceptional, at which point even the slightest cordiality will keep them in your orbit. what people want is a truly unparalleled person to change their lives.

>>33361454
at this point i don't want to go outside because people might think undesirable things about me

>>33361056 (OP)
You lost your erection because you hate yourself

>>33363234
I already knew that I'm asking for what I can do