Don't know where else to post this, here goes nothing
>be me 30 yo, live with my younger brother
>hook up with this girl, 25 yo, waitress
>we often meet at my house because she dislikes her family and doesn't want me to be "uncomfortable"
>I don't mind at first, sex is great, I even take showers and leave my laptop on, have nothing to hide other than some raimiposting in /tv/
>after serious thought, decide to ask her if she wants to be my gf, 5 months later
>she doesn't reply right away, shrug it off and tell her it's fine
>I plan a 1-month vacation to see my mother who lives in a different nearby country
>tell her I do this every year so she won't be seeing me for a full month
>a few days before I leave, she agrees to be my gf
>feel great bc she's my first gf (she doesn't know that though)
>while on vacation, decide to stay a little longer and delay my return
>my gf brings up that this would mean we both miss the chance to be together for Valentine's day
>I tell her it's just a date... but she insists on it + "I miss u bae" texts etc. (1st red flag?)
>tell her she can book a flight and stay with me for a week, we can fly back home together
>she says she doesn't have enough money... (2nd red flag, I know)
>feel manipulated, but whatever, I book her flight, she stays for a week
>at the time I thought it was a great idea because she gets to travel to a new place and meet my family and friends
>few days in, we have a discussion because I'm basically paying for everything, food drinks whatever
>only thing she's paying for are basically clothes and a bunch of other shit she buys at the mall
>we go back home
>one day, she needs to do some kind of paperwork on my computer
>tell her it's ok, I take a shower while she's at it
>come out of the shower, she asks me "what is this folder?"

>it's a folder with AI edits of a celebrity, lewd of course but very vanilla
>and there's like 3-4 instagram screenshots of other real girls, one of them we both know IRL
>she says she found out trying to "save" a file or whatever, which I highly doubt it (I think she might have stumbled upon the folder while looking for something else)
>at this point I know I'm screwed but I show her that the dates on those files go years back, before we met even
>we argue a lot about this, she feels "disgusted" and thinks that I'm some kind of deviant or whatever
>confirms to me she's angry at the ig pics, not the AI porn (lmao)
>basically thinks I'm cheating on her with these other bitches, and that's completely not true
>next few months are kind of meh, some good and bad times mixed altogether
>everytime we argue, she brings this up, trust is broken
>I know for a fact she was cheated on before, but I swear to her I never cheated on her
>last week, she asks me to pick her up
>it's like an hour drive, and in the middle of the night
>I'm busy sitting in a hold'em table, big stakes too, can't just up and leave, tell her I don't wanna
>she gets mad
>I text her the next day, she gives me one or two word replies
>"you wanna do this? ok" I stop texting her, not even a "good morning saaars" or gnight
>we meet today because she "wants to talk"
>she outright says that if she wanted to be alone she wouldn't agreed to be my gf from the get-go
>that I'm too cold towards her
>that I'm supposed to be there for her
>that she wants to count on me if she asks me for a favor
>and that she doesn't wanna keep doing this arguing "in a loop"
>I tell her I understand, and that if she wants to be left alone, it's best that we break up.
Right now I'm not feeling anything, I'm just numb, but I do love and care for her. I suspect that she manipulated me into feeling bad for her and that she may have wanted an apology? Did I do anything wrong? Explain it to me like I'm a child, and be brutally honest

>>33374957
>>she says she found out trying to "save" a file or whatever, which I highly doubt it
Actually, that checks out. That's probably the last place you saved or uploaded a file.

You "emotionally cheated on her" during your honeymoon stage and there's no undoing that. Find someone new and secure your laptop next time

>>33374930 (OP)
>>33374957
You’re clueless. Her hesitation was a neon sign she wasn’t all-in. You ignored it like an idiot. Then you extended your trip, blew off Valentine’s Day, and told her it’s "just a date." Dumbass, it mattered to her. You paid for her flight to visit, then got pissy about covering food and drinks. Talk about money next time, genius. With the AI edits, she didn't care about the dates, it's the fact that she thinks you're creeping on real girls and you broke her trust. When you didn't give her a ride the night you were playing poker, that's actually fair since you're not her taxi, but then you autistically went silent on her like a toddler. Smooth move, dipshit. Finally, she tells you that you're "too cold" and wants affection from you. Instead of trying to work things out, you suggest breaking up as the immediate solution. You're still numb from the shock but still love her. You're a fucking moron.

Mind you, she is manipulative guilt tripping you over money and harping on the folder over and over, but you're so autistic you kept missing the signs she was sending you, then when she outright tells you, you nuke it all.

Anyway, enjoy the single life. Next relationship, try not to be so fucking retarded.

>>33375260
Thanks for replying anon
I had that folder with images and the last time any were opened was a year before we even met, but I do understand the "emotional cheat" concept, that's probably why she felt disgusted in the first place, still though I suspect she found it some other way, and not as a "default" folder where downloads go like she suggested, maybe she even checked some other stuff to find out who I am Idk.

And I completely agree on the laptop comment

I don't see the things you identified as red flags as red flags.

I don't mean to be unpleasant, but I think a lot of people would find the AI celebrity nudes and pics of girls you know IRL pretty off-putting. If my gf found a bunch of niche gooning material saved on my computer it'd permanently downgrade our relationship (at the least).

>>33374957
Pornography is an extremely destructive force in almost all (healthy) relationships. Imagine if you found pictures of naked men on her phone or suggestive pictures of men that both of you know in real life. You'd be thinking, "What the fuck is this? Does she actually love me? Does she want to cheat on me? Am I just convenient for her? Am I not good enough for her?" Perhaps your thoughts wouldn't be that extreme, but an experience like that would still kindle feelings of jealousy, distrust, and sometimes resentment. The bottom line is this: if you're going to be in a relationship, wipe your drive of any obscene shit and try not to consume ANY pornography... especially not images of people you both know. That's retarded.

>>33375388
Alright this is what I came here for
>Her hesitation was a neon sign she wasn’t all-in. You ignored it like an idiot.
Agreed.
>blew off Valentine’s Day, and told her it’s "just a date." Dumbass, it mattered to her
I was brief about the reasons why I extended my trip but I assure you they weren't trivial. I do understand it was an important date though, I fucked that up.
>but then you autistically went silent on her like a toddler
It wasn't a silent treatment really, more like wanting to give her space to cool off and definitely talk about it later, in person, not through fucking text
>Finally, she tells you that you're "too cold" and wants affection from you. Instead of trying to work things out, you suggest breaking up as the immediate solution.
This is where I disagree, it felt like she came in already leaning towards ending the relatonship, or needing some time off. I guess I described it poorly in the OP
>Mind you, she is manipulative guilt tripping you over money and harping on the folder over and over
So we both agree on this suspicion, my best friend also thought the same
>Next relationship, try not to be so fucking retarded.
Lessons learned the hard way, all things considered. Thank you anon

>>33375423
>>33375430
Yeah I know the AI goon material was a fuck up, I deleted the folder right in front of her too, never felt so ashamed in my life. This was a folder from the fucking scamdemic era, I wasn't even aware I still had it because I stopped watching/using AI porn since then and it was my personal laptop instead of my work one.
It's not an excuse, I should have deleted all that, I can understand her disgust even if I didn't create AI pics from the real girls, it's like you said if the roles were reversed

Who was the celeb ?

>>33374930 (OP)
Sounds like it wasn't right from the get go. You gonna raise a family with a girl that didn't want to be in a committed relationship with you after 5 months? If it's any consolation, she accused you of exactly what she was guilty of doing. I have dated women like this and that's how they work. Find a loyal normal mid who loves you and you'll realize how fucked that relationship was. You should have nothing but gratitude you didn't have children or whatever.

>>33376017
>If it's any consolation, she accused you of exactly what she was guilty of doing
This is a good takeaway, OP. She is sad that you two are "arguing in loops" yet she's the one who you say brings up the celebrity porn every single time.

>>33375874
It was Jessica Biel, and a few other AI/hentai anime edits doing lewd poses, mostly showing tits or ass. She didn't seem to mind about that though, it was the ig pics of this girl we both know, a selfie in front of a mirror, it wasn't even a lewd pic like showing off her ass or tits.

>>33376017
>>33376099
This is what my best friend and my sister told me, though I don't have any reasons to think she cheated on me. Maybe it did happen when I was away for a month, who knows, but I'm not troubled by that, it didn't even cross my mind... maybe I'm just naive

She hasn't blocked me on social media yet, so Idk if she tried to manipulate me into apologizing, should I write something to her and end this in good terms? At this point I feel it's best to lay her off and look for a better, more suited partner.

Oh and about the money thing, I forgot to say she's been unemployed since we got back from the trip so I'm always paying the checks whenever we eat or go out, doesn't even help paying for the gas to drive her around.. Idk man I just feel used

>>33374957
>Did I do anything wrong? Explain it to me like I'm a child, and be brutally honest
I'm honestly struggling to think you of anything you did *right*. You think it's a red flag because your girlfriend wants to be with you on Valentine's Day?! You think it's a red flag that someone who works as a *waitress* can't afford a plane ticket?

Right after you agree to be her boyfriend you disappear for a month; okay, that was prearranged; but then you decided you wanted to stay away from your girlfriend for even longer, and not be back when you promised - of course she's going to be unhappy about that; of course she'll miss you and tell you she misses you.

Then, on holiday, you offer to pay for things, she says "oh, that's lovely, thank you" and then you COMPLAIN because you are paying for things. If you didn't want to pay for things, why offer? You are literally offering someone a gift and then complaining when they accept it. And again, she's a *waitress*: of course she can't afford much. If this was going to be a problem for you, you needed to discuss it with her before she came to see you.

As for the IG porn, yes, it is a bit weird that you are storing pictures of women on your hard drive for years, and the fact that it's women you actually know made it much more threatening; she was justified in being upset. And I bet you didn't say "You're right, that is a bit weird, I'll delete them."

The thing of refusing to come and pick her up, in isolation, probably wouldn't have mattered that much, but it obviously came at the end of a long period where you were badly neglecting her, and it was the last straw.

You need to understand that relationships need work; they need an investment of time and effort, not merely money. From the sound of it, I don't think you're ready for that. It sounds like you expect to keep living your life exactly the same way and get free sex. It doesn't work like that. Your life is supposed to change when you have a partner.

>>33377861
>I bet you didn't say "You're right, that is a bit weird, I'll delete them."
I deleted it right away in front of her, apologized to her.

As for the last paragraph, I partially agree with you, this was my first gf ever and I didn't know how to react in many situations, the reason I asked her to be my gf in the first place was because I enjoyed her company and spending time together, I guess I just wanted to make it formal. Free sex my ass, we had sex regularly.

>You think it's a red flag because your girlfriend wants to be with you on Valentine's Day?!
I'll straighten this up, the red flag is that I'm always paying for things almost 90% of the times, before and after the trip (disregard the plane tickets and hotel room as this was a gift of course).
She also offered to pay me back half the ticket, I said ok but didn't pressure her into giving me money because I knew her financial situation was fragile, so I told her to focus on getting a job and pay for her credit card instead, and we to deal with the rest later (I never brought this up again though, fuck it)

But even after we got back home, she's not actively looking for a job, or whenever she gets a part-time job offer, she refuses because she thinks it's beneath her. It's one of her attitudes I really dislike, in my mentality when you're in the gutter you take whatever you can. I also forgot to mention I'm not from the States so it's a different reality where I live, I'm not piss poor but I know she comes from a very humble family so I try to help her whenever I can.

Another thing I forgot to say is that she brought up the amount of times we do something for each other and she thinks she's done for me than I did for her, trying to compare each other? I definitely know I did more for her than she did for me

I know I fucked up on many things, I tried to focus on that in the OP because I'm not gonna be looking for praise but it feels unfair and I don't wanna go full chud modo and blame women

>>33377750
Bro if she didn't outright cheat on you when you were out of town she seriously considered or even desired it. As romantic as it sounds to save yourself for love or whatever, your partner needs to be present male or female, and if someone else is in the room offering the same thing there's a good chance they'll for that. Ask a million military dudes who left on deployment. Sounds like you weren't even gone that long but that lack of physical presence was enough to deteriorate your already tenuous relationship.

Bro the good news is you have the right attitude. Let it go and move on. You were seeing the value what your relationship could be instead of what it was. She sounds immature and lost. Either she has some growing to do or she needs a man who basically parents her. A good relationship is a partnership built on mutual respect and kindness towards one another. Everyone is gonna have arguments, but if you can't put that shit behind you by the end of the night, how are you gonna raise a family?
Keep looking, bro. Godspeed.

>>33378178
OP here, didn't realize how slow this board is.
I understand that leaving for some time might have deterioriated the relationship, I could tell when we met again at the airport, something was slightly different but didn't pay much attention.
>Either she has some growing to do or she needs a man who basically parents her.
My father, after meeting her, told me the same. When I invited her over to have dinner with my family and meet them, they talked a little and after gathering some intel, it seemed she was very childish and immature. Not only that but she got cheated on her previous relationship so she was carrying some of that baggage into our relationship. I suggested she talked this out to a therapist instead, and that it was for the best, and she finally did when we got back home. And not just gf/bf issues but also her family issues.
>Keep looking, bro. Godspeed.
Thanks anon, I appreciate the kind words. Bless you

Bump

>>33375430
Yeah keep your porn in your head of learn to use google. I don't know why so many guys construct digital porn temples.

>>33377750
Amazing taste can’t even be mad desu

>>33374930 (OP)
Yes

>>33374957
>Brutally honest
Having a porn folder is pathetic

Other than that, doesn't seem like the biggest deal..? I'd say just go with your gut desu. Do you feel strongly for her? Do you love her? Seems like you're largely indifferent so I'd say just end it

>>33374930 (OP)
Yea