I am 31 and a year ago I actually managed to get my first kiss with a woman I was dating at the time. Unfortunately things didn't work out and I didn't get to even call her my girlfriend. A year later, I still re-read all the text messages and just reminisce about it. I enjoyed my time with her and I don't hate her or dislike her at all. I wish I could have done better to keep her interested. What I want to learn is how to not make the same mistake twice. I haven't dated again since I dated that woman. I didn't realize how infrequently I date until I actually thought about it. I have been on maybe 10 total dates in my whole life. 5 dates were with the woman that kissed me. What can I do to try and date more often? I think my issue is that I have a hard time finding women who are even open to dating. The world seems so barren now and it feels like no one is out just meandering around anymore. Everyone is out with a purpose and I don't want to butt in and disrupt whatever they are doing. I thought about talking to women in a grocery store for example but that seems weird. What do you guys think? Is there any helping me or am I just screwed?

>>33378306 (OP)
>What I want to learn is how to not make the same mistake twice.

Yeah but you're not a performing monkey either. Reason you didn't do more is because presumably, you were socially exhausted as well as unknowing on what to do. Forgive yourself for that homie.

>I have been on maybe 10 total dates in my whole life.
I'm 33, I've been on 0 (zero) formal dates in my entire life. Yet in my lifespan have had four long-term girlfriends, the fourth and final I married and made my wife. My point is, it's possible to get the woman without a single 'date'. No charisma or looks or money necessary too.

>Everyone is out with a purpose and I don't want to butt in and disrupt whatever they are doing.
Don't sell yourself short bro. You are also worthy of purpose, you also have a stake in this life. You are allowed and should make your own purpose. Also, you need to consider that you become part of someone else's purpose as much as you can be theirs.

>I thought about talking to women in a grocery store for example but that seems weird. What do you guys think?
I'd advise against this idea. People at the grocery store are there for groceries. Try to avoid approaching anyone in public areas; stores, streets, public transport, etc. where it's obvious that people are on the move, busying themselves with chores or work or travel. The best time to approach people are in the correct social contexts.

>Is there any helping me or am I just screwed?
Nah you're not screwed. You simply may be lacking knowledge or intuition on socialising and you're stuck. You got two valid routes: Through the mountain or around the mountain. Hard work of learning the social nuances, or bypass it altogether and find people who share your same disposition.

My advice is try and get what you want without directly trying. Don't make women the goal. Make your interests the goal. Find related groups or social circles themed around that interest. People, including women appear as a side-effect.

>>33378368
>I'm 33, I've been on 0 (zero) formal dates in my entire life. Yet in my lifespan have had four long-term girlfriends, the fourth and final I married and made my wife. My point is, it's possible to get the woman without a single 'date'. No charisma or looks or money necessary too.
How is this possible? I don't see how you can not date but have a girlfriend / wife?

Also, I will try to explore my interests some more I guess. My general interests are mildly solitary but I have been trying to get more interests that aren't as solitary.

>>33378392
I would imagine you just hang out at their house or vice-versa or with a group of friends.

>>33378392
>How is this possible? I don't see how you can not date but have a girlfriend / wife?

Trick is in the word, girl>friend<, boy>friend<. Ask yourself this: You ever needed to take guys out on formal dates just to establish friendship? Answer is no, right? Same can be done for girls. You just establish a friendly connection and then go from there. No need for dates, just bonding over mutual interests, talking about whatever the hell you want, no need to perform like a monkey. Just enjoying convo for convo's sake with someone who happens to be a girl.

You don't even need to make any moves at all. Because eventually what happens is a confession comes out. Girl ends up confessing feels. Or you can do that too. Often times it's this blurry in-between where it becomes obvious you both catch feelings at the same time. You talk about the feelings, and you both end up agreeing to be boyfriend and girlfriend/exclusive to one another.

Just like that, you got a GF without needing to play the dating market or get into the silly pageantry of date sites or apps or any forced arrangements. Just natural processes reaching their natural conclusions instead.

>>33378306 (OP)
Yea

>>33378306 (OP)
Good on you for trying and succeeding to get a first kiss after 30. I'd say that's a pretty big achievement, actually. I was in a LTR for 8yrs and never 'dated' till 30 either. I found it to be quite a rude awakening and can't imagine how difficult it must've been with 0 experience. So well done.

Delete the texts. She's gone - reading them over and over is equivalent to self harm.

Maybe you did nothing "wrong". Relationships are complex, making someone your bf/gf is a big commitment, and there are a million and one reasons why it might have felt quite right. Chances are you showed too much interest too soon (this seems to be main thing women don't like), or failed to escalate sexually. That's fine - these are probably the two most common pitfalls for guys looking for a genuine connection. Try to reflect on what you did, and if you were maybe too clingy, too eager or too agreeable, or afraid to initiate touch or hint at sex with flirty jokes and such.

Get the apps (they're shite but needs must), practice interacting with strangers everywhere you go (even just Hi to old people gets the ball rolling) and maybe volunteer/join a club to meet more people and branch out socially.

Good luck anon.

>>33378409
>Just like that
You need female friends first

>>33378306 (OP)
Nice

>>33378409
those are dates

>>33378368
>>33378409
I really appreciate these posts. Thank you for reminding me there's well-adjusted, eloquent people that live lives the way they're meant to be lived.

>>33378409
>You just establish a friendly connection and then go from there
I had a female freind from when we were 12, around early 20's realized I wanted her. It was not mutual. This cunt even alluded to wanting my genetic material for her children but apparently I wasn't good enough to share a life with.
Fucking shit advice man.

>>33378306 (OP)
Life doesn't matter anymore and it has become very obvious everywhere you go.
You can feel it when you are out in public, no one gives a fuck about anything anymore. Even normies are blackpilled husks now.
I go to work and basically just do nothing. I don't give a shit if they fire me, it literally doesn't matter at this point. I'm poor if I'm NEETing and poor if I work full time. This society is pointless.
No community, no property, no families, no future. Where the fuck do we even go from here?

>>33378306 (OP)
Yes

>>33378306 (OP)