Thread 33390158

Is it possible to get your first gf after 30 without any previous dating experience? I'm 32 and started therapy two years ago to work through my problems. While I've made a lot of progress, I still feel far from ready to date.
Would my lack of dating experience be a dealbreaker for women?

>>33390158 (OP)
Better late than never. Just be aware that dating is different at your age than for teens. There's likely to be a lot less flirting and games-playing, a lot more openness about what everybody wants or doesn't want.

>>33390158 (OP)
>Is it possible to get your first gf after 30 without any previous dating experience?
Truthfully? No. If you're that unattractive or socially incompetent, there's no coming back from it.

It won't be easy. You'll need to find a woman who's understanding, and you'll need to set realistic standards. But yes, it's possible.

>>33390158 (OP)
no, there's no reason not to do it. You're still the insecure virgin who always assumes that everyone hates them. It's not illegal to make mistakes the first times dating. It's just after 30 the dating market is not as big or easy as between 18-28. Women tend to complain at everything you do or don't, it's not helpful to please them outside of the normal social interaction and hygiene obviously. In general I wouldn't mention lack of experience at all to them until you feel that there's a connection

>>33390224
Has that been your experience of dating after 30?

>>33390231
yes, but that's just anecdotal. In general because of the circumstances after 30 a lot of people vanish from the dating pool as they get married or have kids with a partner. The ones that stay then bring baggage from their exes, or have issues on their own. And other focus a lot on their career. Maybe it gets better again after 40 or at 50

>>33390158 (OP)
fwiw women over 30 complain that there are no good men left and only drunkards, druggies etc. so you might have a leg up there

>>33390339
Not really. Women over the 30 are much like women under 30. They're just as retarded. The only difference is they're a bit more leathery.
They'll complain about no good men, only drunks, druggos, etc. But they still ignore most of the male population and bring very little positive to the table, themselves.

>>33390347
>still ignore most of the male population
not my experience at all o algo and I'm an incel at 31

>>33390158 (OP)
>Is it possible to get your first gf after 30 without any previous dating experience?
Yes, of course.
Only a crazy person would think that was an issue.

>>33390366
I'm not saying it's impossible. I'm just saying most women will ignore most men. They will and they do. It's fine, but it makes them a lot like younger women.

>>33390406
Most men ignore most women.
You don;t notie this because you are ignoring them.
I only know because I have a lot of sisters

>>33390158 (OP)
Tbh don't even bother pursuing girls.

As corny as it sounds, focus on working on your purpose or lifestyle you want (outside of women) and if a women gets added to you then so be it.

You should focus your lifestyle around women or else it backfires more often than not (you should be at the age where you are starting to see divorces and it's almost always because the man tried to adjust to fit her lifestyle expectations yet it was never enough)

Also since you have gone so long without. See if you can resist having sex with women you might meet until you have vetted them properly. As guys, we are sex addicts so once we end up getting pussy we get addicted and put up stuff with things we might not normally put up with. Eg, being a virgin, you might end up becoming addicted to the first tugly fat bitch that lets you hit it lol

>>33390419
Well, to be fair to you, I guess I never really thought of it that way. I'm not sure I entirely agree with you. I don't think I ignore women, it's certainly not like I cut them out of my life or anything. But based on a combination of my own experience and what I can gather from other guys I talk to, that's what I've come up with.
But maybe there's some merit in what you're saying. I'll have to investigate further.

>>33390209
>I haven't been able to do it
>therefore it can't be done
This thought process goes against logic no matter what the topic is about.
What *you* can or cannot do is not the metric of anything.

>>33390426
Here's a little test for you.
Think back to the last time you went shopping for food.
Try to remember how many women were in the store.
Next time you go to that same store shopping casually count how many women are really there. All of them.
You're going to realize that your eyes and mind just glide over the vast majority of women. The the very short, very tall, very, very ugly, very pretty, or oddly dressed ones even register and of them the ones you don't find attractive are filtered out.
That is just how humans work, men and women.
Its not even a bad thing, if you spend time consciously thinking about everyone you looked at you'd have very little mental energy left after going shopping.

>>33390158 (OP)
I'm a fair bit younger but I got my first (internet) gf at 27 after sorting my life out.
Ideally you'll find an autistic woman who won't care about that stuff. You might have an easier time dating someone younger than you too that isn't jaded.

I'm in the same boat except I'm 29. Got molested by my dad for many years and got humiliated by girls a lot in the same time frame. I have less than zero experience and a ton of insecurities. My therapist has been saying I should try and get myself out there but I think short of the universe dropping a woman in my doorstep who is willing to tolerate all my anxieties, I don't think it's going to happen. God I'm such a loser.

>>33390158 (OP)
Nice

>>33390224
>>33390255
>>33390231
>>33390158 (OP)
you can date younger women. there are some 18-22 year olds that won't care about the age gap. 23-26 will care even less. There are plenty of 22 year old women that have had little actual dating experience especially since they grew up during the pandemic

>>33390475
this. you should date an autistic 18 year old women. they won't care you don't experience and most of them don't care about age gaps

>>33390204
I would argue that you need the experience from younger dating to navigate dating in your 30s