My first GF ended up cucking me and giving her virginity to the man that stole her and I think it has permanently scarred my psyche. It's been two years and I still periodically think about the despair I felt whenever I see couples irl or online. I've tanked a potential relationship because I internally felt that if she didn't INSTANTLY want to fuck then she was just using me for food and fun while fucking guys on the side.

How the fuck do I stop obsessing over a years old incident? I can't even jack off in peace anymore. Be it real chicks or drawings, there's a 50% chance that mid stroke thoughts of my ex banging the new dude flood my head and kill my arousal. I can't keep living like this and I'm desperate for advice. I'll give context, details, whatever, please just help me out here.

>>33400568 (OP)
Just get a new gf. Seriously. You guys broke up and she fucked someone else, this is normal. You obsessing over it instead of moving on is the issue.

I had a similar thing happen. In fact I think most men understand that feeling well.
really fucked with me but not only does it gets better with time, I feel like it tempered my expectations of women in a healthy way. I stopped showering them in attention and giving them the benefit of the doubt. Only then did they start to show interest in me
>I've tanked a potential relationship
Let me guess, you crashed out and threw a tantrum?
>because I internally felt that if she didn't INSTANTLY want to fuck then she was just using me for food and fun while fucking guys on the side.
Yes, and? She might be.
Treat her as such. Be polite, courteous, maintain face, but keep in mind she’s beneath you. By dating her you’re giving her a chance to prove that she isn’t. Leave a date on a high note. If you feel she loses romantic interest, make note of it and put your attention elsewhere. Let her come back to you.
Just let go of your expectations bro. Don’t let yourself be used, sure. Try a coffee date instead of an expensive dinner and split the check. Be ready to cordially walk away if you don’t have chemistry. It will make it easier for the both of you I promise. Women like a guy who’s chill and keeps his frame.
If you have confidence issues stemming from something other than your ex, you might wanna try addressing those as well. Hit the gym and hang with your boys. Also
>>33400575

>>33400568 (OP)
First, understand that what happened to you was traumatic, and that's okay. Second, understand that not every girl is your ex, and that not all of them think that's acceptable behavior. Start going out and start meeting people. Don't waste time. I spent almost a decade mourning my marriage, and it was for nothing other than the fact that I finally found what I should have been doing. Don't waste your time. You will find someone, but understand that it hurts because it was a real injury to you.

>>33400568 (OP)
Look up how to do cognitive behavior therapy, fix your problem. Stop jacking off. Get outside every day. Find a wider community of people you see at least once a week and network, build friendships, invite said friends to do fun things.

You might not get a girlfriend right away but you'll enjoy your life more, and this is no cap the best way to find a girlfriend. The friend-of-a-friend reference goes SO HARD when it comes to women.

Some people just like to fuck with others. A few years ago I met a girl who did it to me.

She was insanely hot (french/japanese hapa) and also super intelligent (working on a doctorate in bio engineering) but also bi-polar and a junkie. I met her after a rave and she told me that her bf had broken up with her a while ago and that she felt bad and was under-fucked. I instantly went for it and had sex with her, afterward she was SUPER flirty and nice with me, she cooked for me, sucked my dick and did everything I wanted her to. I saw some red-flags, but it was so good that I actually thought we're gonna end up in a relationship.

BUT then it started coming apart. First, it turned out that she didn't break up with her bf yet and was still living with him, and basically use me as a scapegoat to break up with him and make him feel bad. At some point we actually went out partying together, because I didn't know that yet and she told me they were on good terms now, and the guy actually started crying and leaving in the middle of the night.

THEN it got even worse, because she started to fuck with me really bad. She would constantly tease me with sex and then blueball me and shorty after told me she was fucking a new guy with a giant dick and the fucked her like nobody else before while looking me into the eyes and smiling like an actual psycho. It hurt but I cut it off right then and there. After like 2 weeks she started contacting me again, and told me that the guy was made up and she didn't know what she was doing etc. but I didn't fall for it, and it later turned out the guy was real and she was pulling the same shit with him.

Long story short, some people are awful, don't let it get to you.

>>33400568 (OP)
The rare virgin whore. Just gotta move onto the next. The first heartbreak is always the worst, but it makes you stronger.

>>33400568 (OP)
>My first GF ended up cucking me and giving her virginity to the man that stole her and I think it has permanently scarred my psyche.

Couple things, brotha. Let go of the term 'cuck' and 'cucking'. It's a degenerate word, used by idiots. It's a word that shames the one who was betrayed. The shame entirely belongs to the traitor.

And let go of the idea that the other man stole her. He did not steal her. She chose to cheat you, she chose to fuck him. This wasn't a choice that even included you. She did not choose him over you, as if you were not good enough. She didn't even choose him. She chose herself. Because that is what she does, she is selfish and self-consumed. She chose to chase whatever the fuck was in her head. Most likely some fucked shit too, shit that speaks of her issues. This guy just happened to be cut from the same dysfunctional cloth.

Your only mistake is you chose a girl who was damaged. Few screws loose. Emotionally fucked. You chose her because you were young, inexperienced, you didn't know the signs or the red flags. You could not see that sort of person headed your way, you were blinded by ideals of love and happiness and you didn't see her true character before this happened.

It's a very painful lesson to learn, its brutal. But it has value. If you properly integrate it and accept it and extrapolate the lessons, you will be much better at spotting these types of girls in the future, you will avoid them long before even needing to date them to figure out they are for the streets.

This was not your fault. It was hers.

>>33400754
Sounds like she's trying to get murdered at some point.

>>33400679
Based anon

>>33400575
There's no point having a serious gf when the women openly give ass to all kinds of guys besides the unfortunate losers they're actually dating or even marrying. We're way past the time you pay and take things slow as if things are functioning well. The relationships are dead and the women themselves are the walking dead or husks poorly imitating what a woman was meant to be. Getting into more unaccountable trouble and drama isn't a good way to move on.