It's been two years. I'm currently reading threads on Reddit by people who settled and are currently miserable.
I am diagnosed with OCD. Does anyone here have any /adv/ice for me?

By “settled” do you mean people in unhappy longterm relationships? How’s the OCD related?

>>33406245 (OP)
>ocd
Literally just basic cbt out of a book or guide, and if it doesn’t work after a few weeks, actual talk therapy. Try it bro.

>>33406245 (OP)
What do you want?
>muh OCD
PUSSY!

>>33406813
>By “settled” do you mean people in unhappy longterm relationships? How’s the OCD related?
I mean people who were looking for something long term and devalued you over nothing, playing with your head and choosing someone else. A few months later they see you on the street and they seek eye contact while being overly dressed with their hair done and everything, and you just ignore them, and then you start seeing them every few months, sometimes staring, sometimes not seeing you, always near your work.
You are mourning the situation and are thinking about them every day, but you know they are bad news.
You haven't seen them in 4 months now and you are still thinking about them, wondering if they regret settling for the other person.

I am indeed diagnosed with OCD but maybe she is too. At least I'm honest about it.

OCD is related in that I can't get over them, even after 2 years.
>>33406825
I was actually a lot worse before and made a lot of progress now. Thank you for the tips. I did see a therapist last year and got a lot of help. I don't do compulsions anymore, last year was torture for me.

>>33406245 (OP)
You are not your thoughts. I myself am undiagnosed, but throughout my life I've had various obsessive thoughts that brought much needless suffering.
>Fear of not counting random objects I pass by in the correct order
>Fear of insects crawling around in my skull
>Fear of permanently being brain-damaged by drug use
>Fear of not checking the status of my door after I locked it
>Fear of evil spirits / hauntings in my house
>Fear of becoming a pedophile
>Fear of disappointing / angering God
>Fear of turning into a homosexual
Last one was a real bitch, because it turned normal day-to-day interactions into a mental Spartan obstacle race to make absolutely, positively, sure I had no sexual responses / thoughts during a conversation with dudes I always chill with. What helped me and currently helps is to always remember that you are not your thoughts. They can't hurt you. Do not seek reassurance that whatever irrational fear you're feeling is real or not. Be 114% confident that sometime in the future, you'll look back on the fears and obsessions you used to have and laugh your ass off. You are your actions, not your thoughts. And always remember, God loves you, and wants you to win your battles and become the best version of yourself. Hope that helps a bit, fren.

>>33409194
Thank you anon. I have had tremendous success treating OCD. I dare say I am actually well now. Issue is, OCD latches on to real world things. Like, what happened to me *did happen* and I do seem to have feelings (or do I?). As you know, the illness is a motherfucker.

I have treated the OCD but the emotions remain. I still think about her and feel limerence. I am human after all. I know, logically, that she is bad news. You don't treat someone you like this way unless you're a cunt, "but is she a cunt?"
I stay away from ruminating. I allow myself to just feel. I want nothing to do with her but then, when I drive past her work, I want the last word.

She is not right in the head neither. She treated me like dirt and then stares at me after she chose someone else. She sucks but the fact that she still thought about me while being with someone else is interesting.

2 years of this bullshit. I've mourned her. I know she sucks. But the desire for resolution remains constant... It's insane...

>>33409244
Longing for an ex? I'm sorry to hear that man, I can't really help too much with that. Never had a gf, but I've had plenty of hangups on crushes and opportunities that fell through. I know it's cliche, but there's literally a new woman around every corner, plenty-o-fish my dude. If this woman really wanted to be with you, she would force herself to be in your presence. Best to just cut the umbilical and move on.
>I want nothing to do with her but then, when I drive past her work, I want the last word.
What will you gain by doing such a thing? She clearly is done, and you'll only be escalating a situation that was already resolved.
>She is not right in the head neither. She treated me like dirt and then stares at me after she chose someone else.
I don't understand, she can physically see you often? Are you neighbors? Do you work together? It sounds like she's keeping her options open, and why would you want to be with a woman who thinks she can do better?
>inb4 AWALT
Yeah I get it, but still, a woman who desires you makes it obvious, almost to the point of, and beyond, embarrassment on their end.

>>33409289
>If this woman really wanted to be with you, she would force herself to be in your presence.
This is the contradiction. She was in my presence. She even stared and made eye contact multiple times. But this was AFTER she devalued me, rejected me and chose someone else.

I could not imagine choosing one of two girls, going home to that girl every night, and on my work breaks, seeking eye contact with the first girl.
I see two situations where you do this:
You feel bad but in that case you call, if you're a good person
You feel pity but in that case you are embarrassed, want to kys and you avoid making eye contact with that person

Imagine pitying the girl you initially wanted. Imagine putting yourself in her presence and seeking eye contact with her. Imagine the personality.

My IQ is 180, I see exactly what is going on and I know I dodged a bullet, but my heart still mourns that loss of easy sex. Idk what the matter is with me

>What will you gain by doing such a thing?
Not acting on any of this. Just emotions. My head remains on straight but still fantasizing
>Do you work together?
Her work is 15 minutes away from mine and her favorite store is at the intersection between my office and parking space. I have a 10 seconds walk from parking to office, and I see her at least once a month

>a woman who desires you makes it obvious
Idk what kind of person hides behind this behavior

>>33409497
>She even stared and made eye contact multiple times.
Women do that to men for a few reasons
>She finds something about you interesting
>She's aware of her surroundings for potential threats
>She could just be staring because she knows you and finds it strange why you won't say anything to her
In any case, you'll never know how a woman feels until you approach her and get a conversation going.
>But this was AFTER she devalued me, rejected me and chose someone else.
She is either stringing you along and drinking in that sweet-sweet attention you're giving her, or she thinks you're a stalker and she's ready to call the police or her man to fuck you up if needed.
>I could not imagine choosing one of two girls, going home to that girl every night, and on my work breaks, seeking eye contact with the first girl.
Men = Mars, Women = Venus
You're not a woman, so naturally her mindset and decision making don't make sense to you...yet...
>You feel bad but in that case you call, if you're a good person
You could talk to her in person, be honest with her about how you feel and what you want, and find out what's up. Just cut through the bullshit.
>You feel pity but in that case you are embarrassed, want to kys and you avoid making eye contact with that person
It's just eye contact, no ones gonna die.
>Imagine pitying the girl you initially wanted.
I pity women who haven't locked down a man and had children by 26.
>Imagine putting yourself in her presence and seeking eye contact with her.
Do we work together? I would rather take a bullet to the head than ask a coworker out. Not worth the trouble. Unless I truly DGAF then yeah sure I'd go full-retard.
>Imagine the personality.
If she's got a healthy body, great personality, and would make a great mother, I would be a fool to hesitate to be honest with her.
>My IQ is 180
Lol, found your problem lmao.

>>33409497
>>33409638
>I see exactly what is going on and I know I dodged a bullet, but my heart still mourns that loss of easy sex. Idk what the matter is with me
You're too smart for your own good lmao. Just tell her honestly how you feel about the situation, and what you want to do. She'll either be a "FUCK YES" or a "FUCK NO." Is she a maybe or a no? Then you can move on and not give a fuck about her anymore. Honestly, if she disrespected you that badly as you claim she did, then you shouldn't give her a second chance and just use that as a learning lesson.
>Idk what kind of person hides behind this behavior
Why not? She gets the benefit of being with the man she really wants to be with, and had the security of beta-orbiters who with be there to give her emotional support / buy her things / do her favors, all without any obligation on her end to fuck them (except for the man she actually wants to fuck, which she absolutely does without telling the orbiters). This is like if you had a relationship with a beautiful woman, who you love and who loves you back, but you also get the benefit of three other women who would gladly let you drink with them, shoot guns, and fuck them in public. And then your woman is just OK with that for some reason lmao.

>>33409638
>In any case, you'll never know how a woman feels until you approach her and get a conversation going.
Remember: AFTER devaluing me, rejecting me (I reached out) and choosing someone else over me.

>or she thinks you're a stalker and she's ready to call the police or her man to fuck you up if needed.
She is in my area, not the other way around, and her new man is shorter and weaker than me. He has a higher education and a rich dad.

>You could talk to her in person, be honest with her about how you feel and what you want, and find out what's up. Just cut through the bullshit.
Tried in the beginning, got rejected, decided to move on, then this.

>>33409676
>She'll either be a "FUCK YES" or a "FUCK NO."
I reached out... She ghosted and rejected indirectly. In the beginning, I took that as confusion and embarrassment on her part, so I made my best effort to speak to her. On my final attempt, I took it as enough is enough, she is an adult and can fuck off if that is how it's going to be. It was 5 various attempts on my part.

One month later I learned about the other guy she chose.

And then I continued to see her monthly. I was done with her and wanted to get over her, but that was when the eye contact and stuff happened.
Maybe she enjoyed the validation. What does that say about her. Chasing validation at work and then going home to her guy. What happens when the validation at work ends?

>beta-orbiters
I didn't beta-orbit. She wanted me first. I was confused and reached out. She continued to confuse me by ghosting. I withdrew after 5 various attempts over the course of 5 weeks.
Her behavior continued throughout 2024 and I gave nothing, barely reciprocating eye contact. It's 2025. Last time I saw her was February. I haven't seen her in 4 months. My heart still thinks about her though as my mind sends me down rabbit holes about treating OCD. I literally cured my OCD (which preceded her) because of this.

>>33409721
My bad for the delayed reply, I just got off work.
>I reached out... She ghosted and rejected indirectly.
And that would be a "FUCK NO" my man.
>I took that as confusion and embarrassment on her part
That's YOUR interpretation of what happened, not what actually happened, which was a rejection. Several rejections it sounds like, because you keep assuming that being "indirect" or "confusing" doesn't count. It does count, because women are weaker than men, and therefor reject men differently depending on the context. The average man (even a scrawny one) could physically overpower and kill the average woman, so they tend to reject subtly so as not to provoke rage in the man. There are women who reject men outright and make it obvious they're not interested, and therefor respect your integrity and dignity by helping you not waste your time with her.
>Maybe she enjoyed the validation.
Yes she did.
>What does that say about her. Chasing validation at work and then going home to her guy.
That she's normal AFAIK. How would you feel if all the sexiest women in your office just "accidentally" bumped and brushed by you every time you were walking by, just to grab your arm really quick to feel your biceps?
>What happens when the validation at work ends?
It doesn't. There's always another orbiter.
>I didn't beta-orbit.
See vidrel
https://murdochmurdoch.net/murdoch/episode-3-the-orbiter/
Listen man, I really hate to be the one to break it down to you this way, but she's either sleeping with you, or she's not. That's it. No if's, and's, or buts (kek). Any "thought" or "feeling" or any galaxy-brain idea you have on the situation doesn't matter. You're only torturing yourself by fretting and obsessing over this woman who's clearly rejected you multiple times already. Believe me, I know the feeling, man. It fucking blows to feel for a woman who don't feel that way back. So it goes. The sooner you just wash your hands clean of it, the better off you'll be, fren

Bro you gotta interact with people. I get you want a girlfriend, but understanding women as friends or even acquiantences does you more good when you want to get a girlfriend okay. You gotta interact. The most important thing is to keep trying with a good heart. Never lose faith in women, and it will not be easy, but the reward will be worth it. You will make women feel seen and heard, and that is the most valuable trait you can have as a man.