Thread 33413069

I miss my ex I miss my ex I miss my ex I hope he dies

Its been a year and 5 months since my oneitis of 10 years finally let me into her life. We talked for 8 hours and then started making out and went to her bedroom to have sex. Because I had drank roughly 17 to 25 drinks i wasn't able to get hard so I panicked and asked her to be my girlfriend and she immediately got out of bed and put her clothes on. I got black out drunk the next night and called her on the phone and cussed her out for 30 minutes. I then tried to drink myself to death. Woke up in the hospital. Been sober ever since.

You've touched on both philosophical and ethical ideas here.

The phrase "We're all just stardust" is a poetic way to reflect on our cosmic origins: the elements that make up our bodies were forged in stars over billions of years, highlighting our shared existence in the universe. The idea that "nothing really matters" draws from existential philosophy, suggesting that in the cosmic scale, our actions may feel insignificant—but many people find meaning regardless, through relationships, purpose, or ethical values.

Your second point, "don't ever say the n word," addresses an important ethical and social boundary. The "n word" is a deeply offensive racial slur with a painful and violent history, especially against Black people. While philosophical musings may question the meaning and significance of things, respecting others and upholding basic decency remains vital in any community or society.

In summary:
- Our cosmic insignificance can be humbling, but it doesn't excuse harmful words or actions.
- Ethical conduct—like never using racial slurs—is always important, regardless of philosophical perspective.

If you want to dive deeper into these ideas, let me know!

Mmmmmm plagues.
Grow grow grow
Stirring slow
Counter clockwise
Subtle demise

Where we at tonight

Business as usual

So they gave me this small plant on a small plastic vase because I started donating to a charity in my country. I’m not entirely sure it’s a real plant after some days watching it be just exactly the same thing day after day. But it has some signs of being real like a dry leaf or branch here or there.
I feel the urgency to just uproot the whole thing to see its roots and see if it’s real.
I’m currently seeing someone who is very warm tender and lovely when she’s next to me but she has a bf and also barely replies to me when we’re not together. When I’m with her I feel like everything is so real, the way she hugs me when I fuck her, the way she takes my face into her hands when we kiss, the time we spend together just talking and hugging.
But then when she’s not by my side it’s like she doesn’t exist.
I’m so tempted to just ask upfront what’s up but I’m very afraid to kill the thing or be incredibly disappointed and not able to enjoy our time together anymore

Was sexual assault really the worst thing to ever happen to me, or is it just how society treats it.

>>33413753
I got harassed multiple times, when I was a kid and as a young man. Never escalated too much but still a gay man going into an arcade to try to slide his hands inside the pants of a kid shouldn’t be something common right.
I screamed to the guy to stop doing it and of course fearing who might hear me the guy ran away.
I continued going to that same arcade for years even when it was empty.
I got fondled at massive public events, 3 times by gay dudes and once by a group of kinda ugly girls.
I… don’t see the big deal. It’s annoying but I continued doing what I was doing afterwards.
I’m not a tall strong dude that feels safe walking around either, I’m kinda short and I was incredibly skinny back then.
I just don’t see how sexual harassment can get into people’s head so much unless it’s sustained and rough. Girls getting catcalled complaining about it as if it’s an aggression is so weird to me. I remember being catcalled while running a couple times. Felt good.

>>33413706
I miss her every minute we’re not together and this was supposed to be something casual I could enjoy

I really regret asking her out

>>33413791
It's the feeling of dirtiness and filth I feel about it, I guess. And the way it's affected my tastes wasn't great. Who would've thought that a child sa victim with a noncon kink talking to adult men online wasn't a good thing? (it wasn't nearly as bad as it sounds roflmao no worries) And the responses I've gotten from other people made it a lot worse. I don't think it was just that that's fucked me up though, considering my upbringing. I wish I wasn't so overreactive about it, but I can't help the way my nervous system reacts.

I can't even play guitar or write music anymore without him constantly being on my mind because our styles and music tastes were so exactly aligned. That's bad enough when it's just the shit you listen to being shared taste and pulling you back in that space, but when it's your writing styles and your main creative outlet it fucking sucks extra hard
Yeah next person I find has to have like 0 in common with me. Just vibes we connect on, we can support each other's tastes and hobbies from the sidelines. This fucking sucks
He probably doesn't even think about me

if i had a girlfriend right now i wouldn't be able to take this nap im about to take and that would fucking suck.

>>33414191
You regret the outcome not the act of asking her out, if she said what you wanted to hear there would be no regret.

>>33413069 (OP)
I finally realised that I have a habit of doing too much for others and being too agreeable with people who don't really care about me.

Quite liberating actually. I'll only ever bother with those who reciprocate my energy from here on out

There will be those who wear the smile and call you fren while being a bastard behind your back and there will be those who seek to destroy while putting on the same face, do not trust these people. They are not your friend, no matter how long you've been around them.

It lasted years. One of the last thing I did for her was to take her to the hospital at 3am because she was feeling unwell and I didn't want her taking an Uber that late into the night. All for her to tell me I don't know how to treat a woman and for her to repeat the exact words her ex told her when he had enough of her nonsense. What a fucking despicable cunt.

The writing was on the wall the whole time we were together but I consciously told myself not to look at it.

>>33414614
My problem is that she enthusiastically said yes
and then ghosted me repeatedly
im a fucking social retard, so all my social energy
was put into asking her out and now she is all i
can think about and i fucking hate it

>>33413069 (OP)
I have 100k+ in a account for a robot girl.

I started a semi joke account with 5k pre covid for a robot when they released. I got really lucky with a crypto and its soared.

My guestimation is that in the next 5-10 years they will be on the market and i will have 150+ by then.


....This would not be a problem if i did not get married in that time and my wife thinks i'm joking. Im sure she will get over it when she does not have to do chores.

Somebody stole the bracelets that my new friend made for me :/ It was probably Tammy but if I confront them they will just say that they didn’t touch my bracelets. They might even place them somewhere that I have already looked for me to find them again so I can feel like there is something wrong with my sanity. Typical witch things.

Current Tammy has always hated me. I think all of them always have. I always knew Tammy hated me but I was in denial the majority of my life.

I developed the impression that they would move my belongings in different places or hold onto them until it was time to place them where they “found” them for me. Often my car keys. I could just never prove it. Same reason why she would always try to block my pathway at perfect timing and walk slowly or listen to my footsteps to quickly walk around the corner as I approached. Constantly making it so I had to maneuver my body to not bump into them or else I was a rude piece of shit for not being submissive.

You’re on the other side of the room and always choose to move and block my pathway as soon as I approach and u try to get me right behind u every time and if we cross paths I’m forced to adjust myself to not bump into to u. If I address this then I’m an asshole.

Every time they did that move around corners at the worst time it they would make that startled sound. It seemed like more than them just pretending to be scared.

I'm having trouble accepting that it was bad. I simultaneously feel numb and hurt somehow and I don't get why.

I’ve wanted a friendship bracelet my whole life and the witch stole it after a week of me having it.

>>33414773
Been there, still think about how I fumbled the prettiest smile in my college. But I have a gf now, and one that wanted to talk to me and loves me. It's gonna get better, anon

>>33415044
I'm such a fucking loser holy shit all I do is vent on this fucking website cause I'm too chickenshit to talk or ask for help. I have a massive victim complex and I'm an attentionwhore

She acts fake in order to look like a victim, dude. Blame it on loud music u dumb fucking normie.

>>33415084
Just fucking talk to someone, damnit.

They have been trying to destroy me since the beginning but u only see the angles that salvage your reputation that u already threw away for misjudging me.

I'm kinda disappointed that the stupid UK online safety thing wasn't some end-of-the-world tier killswitch, you don't even need a VPN if you have half a brain and it's impacting pretty much no site I use. Guess I'll have to rely on myself to escape my bad habits after all, that's never worked before so it's a bit of a pisser.

well there's more reinforcement for that hypothesis

sometimes you really, really, really hate being right, like seriously man wtf

>>33415090
I can't get therapy, talking to my friend is Triggering, talking to my parents fucking sucks, who the hell do I talk to that I can guarantee will listen.

My dog hates when I talk or laugh to myself.
He's like lady I'm not going to a shelter niggers and pitbulls are there I'll fuckin die. Get your shit together

Just received a call from community health asking for my last name and birthday. Told them that I don’t feel comfortable giving that information when in reality I just avoid them for good reasons. Yes, I already posted my social security number last October in gioyc as well as Twitter and Facebook to prove my identity. If Tammy actually cared about committing to due diligence then she would have checked for my birth mark and biopsy scar but that’s not convenient is it?

Fuck my retarded house and family I'm the only pajeet here with hygiene concerns fuck these shitskins go to hell

Why do you keep appearing and disappearing? And why won’t you give me closure. You disappeared without saying a word as if I don’t literally adore you.
Ffs that's what I get

I wish I'd been half the whore people thought I was going to be.

Grandma gave me the impression that it’s partly her fault that the neighbor’s house kept flooding. I wanted it lowkey because I didn’t want our “family” to be sued. I guess I’m a piece of shit for that too. I let the neighbors know about this almost a year ago and they don’t seem concerned for some reason. I don’t know.

I never thought I’d find someone to be mine. Lord knows I was right, cuz you just crossed the line

Someone obscenely gorgeous was into me for some reason for a couple months but it's over now
Honestly I don't know why, she was way the fuck out of my league
This is gonna fuck my shit up for future dating probably, that is not happening again

I can tell that she's still in love with me, but at the same time she wishes she weren't. I wonder if she'll dump me. I certainly won't dump her.

i miss him

>>33415966
I miss her too

It’s over.

My entire worldview is getting crushed and I just don't know what to think anymore man

I miss her/him

>>33414346
I didn’t get some of the lingo but I wish I could lend you a bit of my strength. I’m a pussy when it comes to relationships if it helps, I can be groped day and night but if a girl I like tells me she doesn’t feel the same after months of appearing she does, I’m just dust, I cease to exist

:O
Best boys posted a close up.

it's over.

>>33415992
wait you're not me

>>33413069 (OP)
Being rejected sucks but watching his hairline recede while he continues to scare all the other hoes with his autism until he becomes that sad old virgin man clip is a decent enough consolation for me.

I want my bracelets back

>>33416092
Damn

>>33416069
You never know.

I will now judge you entirely by your actions. You say I am a man of little words but that is because when I say something, every word that exits my mouth has weight. I mean every single thing I say. You should try it sometime, put a little filter over your speech

I miss him.
Ex boy fake.
He digital and dash'd on me.

I have a crush on a guy nearly half my age and I don't even know if he's gay or not. Any time he touches me, like even a simple nudge, I feel so happy. It makes my day. I'm at least socializing with people but I can't help but feel so pathetic to feel like this. If I tried to figure out how he feels it could destroy the friendship and then I'd be left with nothing.

>>33416320
Half your age is kinda crazy
I felt weird enough having a 9 year age gap with a dude
S'all the same in the end as long as you're adults I guess

>>33416329
33 - 19
I agree it's crazy but I don't interact with many people my age at work/etc. I have thought about dating apps but I really don't like them. The people I see are either openly trashy and begging for sex or too perfect to want someone like me.

i can't believe this chick is so mean idek what i did to deserve this and i have to just pretend it didn't happen

Guy who wanted a fight with me who seemed to know who I am asked me if my dad molested me. My answer was no. Answer is still no. It’s a fact and I am sure of it. Anyone who insists otherwise is simply trying to cover up their sins. What kind of sins could u imagine that being? I don’t think they would have very much fun paying for them.

>>33416400
Regardless of my answer, the truth is also no. My dad never molested me. Yes, I wonder about the chair incident while camping. I don’t know what that was. I don’t know if that was my dad either.

I have a burning hatred of the schizophrenics that shit up this thread.

You may be mentally ill, but you are shitting this place up on purpose.
You know no one reads your crap, because it's incoherent and does not communicate anything.
YOU KNOW THIS.
You do it on purpose.

If you where genuinely mentaly ill in a way where you cannot communicate, Why the fuck post anything?

i have no outlet. i feel like a bee hive of thoughts and desires, but its all just buzzing in my head.

>>33416543
This is the schizo containment general...

i can't even hide it anymore. i just don't have it in me to pretend i'm ok. i spent most of my friend's wedding sitting outside staring into the trees.

>>33416639
Going to a wedding single when literally everyone else is with their partner or a date is fucking brutal. Has you just walking off into the trees contemplating while they all do their own thing. Been there

>>33416561
What is wrong with that guy?

>>33416650
especially when i'm 32, they're all getting married and buying houses, and i just lost my job and i can't find another one.

been in a hetero relationship for 8 months, but i slowly feel myself liking women more, and men less. it's as if my attraction to men, even my boyfriend is dwindling more and more each day.

>>33416673
>i'm 32
Same, coincidentally
And same, don't measure up at all. Improving a lot lately but it's gonna take a while to get there

I going out on dates with her and I enjoy my time with her so much. I miss her every minute we’re not together. And yet she seems to just disappear when we say our goodbyes.
Granted she doesn’t have a phone right now. Should I buy her a phone…

>out of beer
grim.

>>33416829
i'm sorry. i'm at the point where i want to cash out. i haven't had that thought in a while, but i'm really feeling down.

How do you get someone who is a parent and has raised 3 fat children and one normal weight (me) to STOP buying fast, processed junk?

>food in fridge is hardly anything real
>weird fucking junk foods
>random fucking vanilla ice cream
>oreos
>shitty chocolate
>all this fattening shit
>lack of any real nutrient providing foods
it doesn't take any money to not spend money on these nothing 'foods'. Anyone else live with people who just eat 'nothing'? There's no nutrition, there's no real value to any of this -- its all junk

It's a choice every time in the grocery store of two thought processes: one, it is a conscious decision to continue buying all this crap, two it is not even thought of at all. I don't know which is worse - please for the love of god STOP BUYING JUNK FOOD. YOU ARE BUYING FOOD WITH NO NUTRITIONAL VALUE
STOP BUYING JUNK FOOD
YOU HAVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR YEARS

I don't understand how these purchases are made - just don't buy the junk food. Just don't buy it


Just don't buy it anymore

>>33416847
Eat a good meal, have sex with someone you have an emotionalconnection to, don't think about the future at all.

Instantly cure your depression with this one weird trick

>>33416923
i don't have an emotional connection with anyone, let alone a woman.

>>33416896
They aren't thinking about that, abd it didn't bother them.
Sorry it bothers you.
You can't "fix" them.
If you need healthy people in your life, it's not going to be them.
Let go of that dream.

>>33416923
>have sex with someone you have an emotionalconnection to
Yeah problem with that is it's hard af unless you're a normal person

>>33416927
Yeah thats the catch :/
Want to have sex with me?

>>33416934
i tend to want to know someone first. and for them to be a woman.

i haven't been someone not surrounded by screens or blue light in so long i can't remember. i need to go to a cabin in the woods for a few months.

no one in my life knows that i have a fetish for chubby/fat white men

I miss her

>>33416941
We could know each other but I'll probably disappoint you on the second. :(
I tried, sorry.

You you have to believe you deserve good things.

what if nobody likes it? what if nobody cares? what if its just like every time before? what if i waste all this time and money for nothing?

>>33416999
I doubt you could disappoint me.
You are good. You would be surprised.

>>33416999
the only thing i deserve is the air and the sunlight. everything else i have to work for or earn. and i've failed on almost every occasion. thank you for your kind words, but i don't think it will get better for me.

>>33417023
I'm getting mixed messages here.
You prefer a woman, I am not a woman.
You didn't explicitly say no.
I can't disappoint you.

>>33417038
You gotta believe, even if it's impossible.
Especially if it's impossible.

>>33416984
Have you told the chubby fat white men in your life? I think they would like that.

Holy shit shut up you fucking faggots

I hate niggers, jews, certain whites, and everyone who is rich.

>>33417055
No I'm gay and and in crisis I won't shut up about it

>>33417053
i dont have any directly in my life, i just see them sometimes in my college classes, and informing them of my attraction to them would most certainly not end well

>>33417055
faggots > schizophrenics

why can't they even fathom that they have any responsibility for how i ended up?

women are only what the men around them allow them to be. blame them as well as the woman.

>>33417040
I am a woman. I have been extremely disappointed most of my life. Imposter syndrom hits hard. It would be very difficult to disappoint me, but I am sure there is some way it could happen.

>>33417068
Women where a mistake.

You could walk up to a chubby white guy, ask him if he has a gf, and when he says no you say "you do now" and he would be overloaded with emotions he's never felt before.

They don't want you to know this:
Chubby white guys are free.
You can literally take the chubby white guys home from the park.
I have like 15 chubby white guy bf in my basement.
This could be you.

>>33417078
I understand?
You are a lesbian, and aren't interest in "hetero" sex?
How about gay? sex then? One lesbian and one fag having gay? sex.

>>33417081
im not a woman im ftm
ik u ppl think thats the same but its really not when u actually start to medically transition
these chubby white dudes, or anyone for that matter, dont want a hairy, smelly flat chested pooner with a weird sounding voice.

>>33417060
Completely reasonable

>>33417060
does this hatred bring you comfort or more distress? can you live your life not trusting these groups without active hate?

>>33417098
No, I am a hetero woman. Have experienced other women but I am more fond of man.

>>33417071
They cognisize, they just don't accept it, and you have no leverage to extract thier action.

They did it, and do have responsibility, but will not act.

If you need to, cut them off, but don't expect thier awakening.

Good news, my crush didn't ghost me and she has gone from good acquiantence to now buddy. Being the first buddy at my workplace.

>>33417112
Yes, I was teasing you about the labeling of these things.

So is that a yes or no on the sex?

>>33417116
Great job. Now tell her you have a crush on her.

Thing is though the thing about friends is they started out as buddies, but overtime grew into friends who will never ditch you.

>>33417127
Not yet broski. I gotta play it slow. Can't jump things too soon.

normal people treat depression like a threat. they act like if they try to understand, but really tell you its your fault and you need to stop trying to understand it, to just be normal.

i've had people try to guilt me out of not wanting to kill myself. i want to because i always feel guilty.

>>33417131
the more time you take, the less she'll think of you as a potential partner. tell her, and embrace whatever comes out of it.

>>33417135
u need better friends dude

>>33417131
If you say so.

This is already a time of change, more change is just covered by the initial change.
If you wait too long, violating the new comfortable norm is harder.

If you tell her and she says no, you can tell her you still want the best for her, and you respect her decision, remain good coworkers, and move on romantically.

Rejections don't have to be ugly, or destructive.

>>33417139
thats the real world. depression is like a virus they're afraid to catch, because they're normal.

>>33417135
Guilt is externally imposed. Like court "guilty" verdict

Shame is internaly imposed, people can imply you should feel it, but you still choose to feel it in the end.

You have no reason to feel ashamed.
Go kill yourself if it makes you feel better.

>>33416543
So I can't tell jokes? And post raps? This was my general before /ng/, so...

>>33417141
>>33417137
I get that, but here is the thing, when you are autistic, things tend to be a bit heavy and clinical when you have to deal with someone of that nature. It isn't like my oldest brother where he can just drop in and flirt. Autistic people like myself there is an easing that has to be done. Once trust has been built and it feels comfortable and the burden it gives along with it not feeling like a humiliating drag, then it can work. I have to give the reassurance I am capable to understand her and look after her. When you are not autistic it is easier to build a foundation because normal positive people's foundation is steel, when you are autistic, it is more like wood, so there is a lot that needs to be done to keep it stable.

>>33417168
womens attraction doesnt care about your sensibilities. it is entirely sub consious.

while you're getting comfortable and taking your time, she's already given up.

break your programing and take a chance.

everything wrong with you came out of a tube you were shot up with as a baby. don't let them win.

i don't even enjoy the things i used to like. i just do things out of habit now.

>>33417184
That's true her hormones has settled down but you want to be beyond the generic fuckboy who fucks her and drops her. I want a real friend who I can have a relationship with, so it has to be built. Look at pic related, that is what it is like. She is like Jane and I am Tarzan. There was an easing dude.

I had to use my huzzz money to call a tow truck
Noooooo

>>33417200
i dont want to be mean, but you're not gonna be with her if you base your life on disney movies. she isn't tarzan. shes a modern woman, with more options than you have. you aren't tarzan, you're an autistic person over analyzing not taking actions that you want.

>>33417210
Dumb fuck

Blonde women be shopping for peanits

>>33417220
I'm good. I know I'm stupid, but my heart is in the right place, so I'm gonna stick to that.

She can't stand people, but she has STANDards...

>>33417221
Suck my left nut

I wish I had been in a relationship with a woman that actually loved me and cared for my best interest
Now I only see relationships as shallow agreements that are only kept if both people are benefiting from it
There is no love

We would have had our two year anniversary right now
It fell apart
It's not that deep

>>33417101
so you’re a man but a woman when you feel attacked got it tranny go to your containment zone

Some people have elevators in their house and think it's next level...

>>33417286
didnt ask

Not everyone knows the magic of feng shui, but voodoo(vou do).

>>33417269
this week marked two years since I got dumped
it’s ok, she wasn’t the one

I'm tired of people trying to ban porn, I feel like all this is gonna do is make more rapists and sex offenders, I'm tired of people who censor stuff just because they personally don't like it.

Sometimes I wonder, is there even a God out there? If not, then the only reason we really exist is to fuck and make more of us, meaning nothing we do matters, if you die people will miss you but it won't even matter in the grand scheme, and we should have all stayed shit-flinging apes if that was true.

There's embaressing, and theres posting sam hyde vids on facebook embaressing.

This is worse than the time I compared myself to fucking Chris Chan.

>>33417358
not just god, any sort of afterlife or stuff like that I mean

>>33417364
Pornographic and violent imagery can pollute the mind if you are insane enough. If you are a kid and your only way of interaction is playing as a rapist, you will get a bit screwed up in the head. You may say well what if I have common sense, but here's the sad thing, not everyone has common sense. You want proof of why that is? Ask yourself, why is a blade meant for cutting off facial and body hair, being used for self-harm, and that is the exact same common sense some people don't have that conservatives are afraid of.

>>33417364
I heard the afterlife is to die for...

The calm before the storm is thick when you try to hurry Cain...

>>33417503
Bro, ah fuck no that ain't how Christianity works. Alright. I hate being the worst example of one, but you got to know that the gift of the afterlife is about living your life the best you can repently. Jesus didn't mean oh you're saved so you can fuck around and do nothing. Had he been like that why are we still suffering as human beings? The reason being morality is grown and the gift of it is given from being your best human self. If you think Christianity is some religion that is either all perfect or completely neglectful you are really wrong.

>Ask girl out on a date for this weekend
>Get told she'd really like to go, but she's helping her sister move to another house
>Now stuck wondering if it was genuine or just an excuse not to go

>>33417539
You sound retarded

>>33417558
No shit, if I knew the answer to these things I wouldn't be complaining about it.

Do you actually like me? Or just being polite?
If it feels kinda awkward when we're alone. Does this necessarily mean this is bad?
Honestly can't tell, but I really enjoy being around you. Maybe a little bit too much.

I'm sick of you treating me this way. I stand up for myself once and you treat me like I'm the fucking devil when you've done worse to me so many times. Fuck you.

>>33417631
Honestly hope you can find happiness, Idk who this is about but they sound like a hassle.

>>33417574
If she repeatedly does this and you left behind it is a good sign she is politely trying to reject you.

>>33417578
I'm gonna act like this is the person I want this to be. Yes, I actually like you.

>>33416896
Explain to them how to cook to save money.
Unfortunately your parent sound lazy as fuck and doesn't actually care about her children. Sucks to hear that but it is as simple as you put it. just don’t buy it.

>>33417539
Sounds like a girl I know.
>Ask her to play games
>Always oh next time I can I'm just busy now.
>Ask her >10 Times to fill spots in 5 Man teams and always the same excuse
>Next time I see her IRL we argue about how she's being a rat
>Invite her next time
>She now will join 50% of the time.

>>33417021
>what if nobody likes it? what if nobody cares? what if its just like every time before? what if i waste all this time and money for nothing?
what if everybody likes it? what if everybody cares? what if its not like every time before? what if i didn't waste any time and money?

>>33417651
I don't know what to think. I asked her out a couple of years ago, she said yes and then told me the next week she couldn't go and stopped talking to me. I started dating someone else last year and she got irrationally upset and started saying my girlfriend was batshit insane and I should've never got with her and don't let her pressure me in to getting married or having kids.

Since I'm single again I decided to casually ask her out on a date again and got rejected. Ever since I've broke up with my previous girlfriend she's been a lot more talkative but I'm not sure if it's because she wants to start a relationship or just leads me on as a fallback guy or something.

Just had a dream where I was laying next to a pretty girl, she cared for me, she was warm, we laughed, I got on with her brother and parents.

Nothing sexual at all happened but I felt the happiness though my entire body, just laying next to her, our bodies touching talking about stupid stuff, saying silly things.

I woke up alone and cold. What did my brain mean by this.

>>33417811
>just leads me on as a fallback guy or something.
ding ding ding we have a winner.

Jesus horror movies are fucking bad. Just turn the fucking lights on, man. It's not that hard. They're attacking your psyche, not your electrical grid.

I am their god
They will wear the stains of their degeneracy forever
20 years, 40 years
My left eye has been forced open

>>33417867
Well, see, the problem with Jesus horror movies ain't the darkness. You can flick on every light in your house, but you can't turn off the nagging feeling that you probably should've called your mother last Sunday. That's the real terror, pal. That's the stuff that sticks with ya.

>>33413069 (OP)
My friends and I recently ran a train on a single 30+ yr old mother. We are all in our late teens/early twenties. We were drinking at night, and she came up to us and asked if she could hang out with us. It was a bit awkward at first, but she was so incredibly dtf we each took turns fucking her in a local park bathroom. She wasn't super attractive. I don't regret it.

>>33417886
Yeah, fuggen wisdom.

>>33417887
>I don't regret it.
Fair enough, one question though.
What number in the train were you?
1/6?
5/6?
Whatever number you are correlates to how you're perceived by everyone else, first to go is most liked, last to go is least liked.

I don't understand why we need to declare to each other that we are "exclusive." Is it not implied if we are? Why the fuck do we even need to explictily discuss that when we are currently dating? So you spend all this time with me and then go and do the same with another guy? Why are people dating several others at a time? And then hooking up as well on the side? Why is everyone online saying it's normal? Why is this so normal? One day you're getting to know someone and then the same night you're fucking a complete rando? I don't understand it. It's so weird to me. It's distasteful and disrespectful. Why not just focus on one person at a time? How can you ever find "the one" if you never even bother to dedicate yourself to one person at a time? I don't get it. I don't get it. How do peole do this and then feel like nothing is wrong? Wtf. I really hope I will find someone who shares my views one day.

I will kill myself

>>33417904
Couldn't agree more anon, unfortunately the girl you're interested in is a complete whore and isn't worth your time.

>>33417903
I was 2/4. Each of our friends are equally liked but we definitely vary in experience. The first guy floated the idea and fucked her first. I went along with it because the idea of being eskimo brothers with my friend was sort of funny and I was hungry. My other two friends were a little bit less experienced and were more cautious, but she kept grabbing them and pulling them to her and insisting so they caved. I will add the vibe was less sexy and more just absurd and kinda surreal. I think we all just found it kind of funny whilst she found it really hot because of the age taboo and being used and abused. She had big bpd vibes.

>>33417931
>She had big bpd vibes.
you gangbanged a mentally ill woman lmfao

>>33417905
Why

>>33417939
I hate myself. Nothing feels like it matters or will matter.

>>33417941
Do you have friends

>>33417943
Yes

>>33417946
Lucky

>>33417946
Tell them everything, if you're going to die anyway it shouldn't matter if you're scared to tell them. If you still can't tell them you don't really want to die and you just want attention.

>>33417949
Thanks
>>33417950
I have. I don’t think the god delusion and suicidal ideation would go over well again

>>33417938
Some of the stuff she was saying about her life was super depressing. For instance, she only had 3 days a week custody of her kids and those days did not include weekends. She worked a job where she had to come in every day. Her divorce happened last year October and she hadn't had sex since then. Her dad dangled her over a train station platform as a kid, and she had to go to therapy for it.
She was a genuine mental case, but I think we treated her well all things considered.

>>33417958
Jesus Christ anon, hopefully she doesn't report it to the police as a rape. You never stick your dick in someone that is crazy enough to come up to a group like that, did anyone in your group question anything or did everyone just think with their dick.

>>33417162
No you don't

You haven't told a joke or posted a rap, and this isn't the fucking place for it, and you wouldn't even try to make it relevant.

That question right there is just more proof you are faking and shitting this place up. Either you mean it, or you are too incoherent to post anything relevant.
Either way, literaly fuck off and die.

>>33417957
>god delusion
Nice LARP, people who are actually delusional don't know they're delusional, go seek attention for somewhere else.

>>33417523
Actualy the Bible never describes either (as If the Bible is reliable anyway), and infact both are an invention of dark age monks for political satire. Dantes Inferno was not considered at the time a religious document, but you retarded pesants uncriticaly took nearly everything it said as authoritative wisdom, like you retarded pesants do with your own farts. It's just a medievalfan fiction. Most of the iconography about both is from Dantes Inferno.

>>33417965
She definitely wasn't the type of crazy to threaten rape just very desperate for some sort of connection and wanting to be listened to. I'm not losing any sleep over it.

>>33417651
>politely
That is not polite

>>33417978
>wasn't the type of crazy to threaten rape
I've seen women to more for less.
You all thought with your dicks without thinking of any real world consequences.

>>33417980
It is to dumb bimbos

>>33417135
my boyfriend told me it's just a lie I'm telling myself and basically to get over it. hurts so bad and it's very hard to not feel extreme resentment over it

>>33417970
Lol, moments of lucidity never ever happen, right?

>>33417989
Whatever you say cringe lord.

>>33417982
Care to share more about these rape allegation stories? It's never been something I've been super neurotic about. Having sex with any woman carries a risk. So be it.

>>33417968
What are you expecting out of me? To make my entire being about you? I'm good. I'd rather have fun. If you want me to go back to /ng/ then just say that.

I got into really good shape and started to feel great and look great so I tried to put myself out there wkth women and failed catastrophically every single time. Like, just autism and nuerotic retardation and over thinking. I stopped exercising because I decided that there was no point in looking good if my brain was too retarded for anything good to come of it. Now I just barely eat and never go outside and talk to no one

If youre ugly from some angles, and okay looking from other angles, does that just mean youre ugly and should stop trying to cope with flattering angles?

>>33413096
Why did you drink

>>33418078
Because I was an alcoholic and was extra nervous because I had had a crush on her for such a long time

>>33418085
Damn that sucks. Hope youre okay. Your body was telling you, she wasn't the one and if she was she would have understood. Many such cases. Make a change to drink less

No matter how many times I run water through the water tank it still tastes like soap

frick so gross

>>33418005
I'm expecting you to be coherent or silent.
This isn't about me.
Your life would genuinely be better if you where coherent or silent.

If you cannot be coherent in one channel, find a channel. Too may people have coddled you and you are both crippled and spoiled.

Be less spoiled.

>>33418020
Excersize for yourself.

All your learning with women will be raw no matter how you look. It will suck alot before it gets better.

Keep excersizing, please. For your good
Your health also makes me happy.

>>33418093
Dude. It was my fault completely. I ruined it. Completely. Me. She has nothing to do with it. All the blame is mine

>>33418093
And no im not okay i fucked up with the girl of my Dreams because I was an obnoxious overly emotional drunken fucking mess . Im not recovering im getting worse

>>33418163
I kept exercising, and kept feeling worse. And then just felt dead. I look so terrible now. The body cam atrophy so rapidly if you do nothing.

>>33418165
>>33418164
Recover

>>33418020
Nah we don't really have much of a romance culture. It's not your fault. Good job developing some aspect of yourself. Try learning sheet music and math and a language on duolingo too maybe for fun if you have time.

>>33418198
I haven't left my house in 7 months and no longer talk to my lifelong friends as well

>>33418203
Well get better

>>33418203
They'll probably come back in a few years tops unless you're all really stubborn.

>>33418201
There is romance. Im just socially inept
>>33418207
Okay if I decide I deserve that one day
>>33418208
Who knows

>>33418161
Why are you acting like you know me? We've only spoken a few times and we don't have a past. We won't have a future either.

Typical Latina in the Midwest experience: she's emotionally unavailable, rebels against any male instruction because her dad was way too strict, high body count because she has low self esteem and craves validation, slept with at least one drug dealer to get money/drugs, thinks she is the prize and deserves to be spoiled, unable to have a healthy relationship because her parents had a horrible one, doesn't understand how to be a good partner because she is too self absorbed

lately, I just haven't been feeling emotions but I still experience them, it's very bizarre I don't feel any more stressed out or depressed more then usual it's been like this for months now, even actual physical pain feels very dull too, I'm not really sure if I'm having some sort of mental breakdown or there's some health problem because it doesn't feel like I'm distressed by it because I can still tell when I'm stressed but I don't feel it the same way I used to.

am I just burnt out?

>>33418345
Dunno but I feel you, lmk what you find out

You ever feel like all the good moments you'll ever experience have been used up and its just monotony and pain from here on out?

my gf asked me how you can actually tell whether you’re in love.

>>33418399
Have you no answer?

>>33418399
She's finna break up wit you
Get ready

>>33418393
Nah

I don't mean to sound dated when I tell you to settle down...

>>33418263
Sounds like a friend I had.

They told me to give her notice, so I stared at her for an hour...

>>33418233
GREAT
fuck off schizophrenic

>>33418600
What the fuck is your problem?

>>33418603
As I stated in the undirected post that started this chain: I have a burning hatred of schizophrenics that shit up this thread intentionally.

They/you? felt called out.
What does that tell you?

>>33418614
I literally have Schizophrenia, so yes, I felt called out.

>>33418621
"And shit up the thread"

You can be here, have schizophrenia and not shit up the thread.

You clearly are more coherent than the actual inciter, and are confusing "paranoid delusional" with "cannot write a single meaningful sentence, and does not stop spamming the thread when asked".

>>33418621
In some cultures, schizophrenia is honored.
I like those schizophrenia but I don't like when they get angry and so deluded, they kill people.

>>33418614
I also think you have something missing. You might want to check if you're a sociopath, or something similar, as you clearly lack empathy and take these threads ridiculously too serious. Your hatred for other people, for such insignificant things, is a red flag. You need to get help,as much as the other guy.

>>33418632
>"And shit up the thread"
The entire thread and site, are shit. What are you even talking about? Everybody knows that.

I wonder if you believe me now. Probably not. Only the 'elite' believe me.

It sucks that I'm no good at writing books.
>>33418639
Believe you about what?

Some in the military think I'm an angel. Hacker, who stumbled upon me, think I'm alien. I personally think I'm just a human who has been put through so much in life, that I fractured and then had light come in to reveal all sorts of things. Sort of like a superhero or mutant... but not physically. They can't explain me with science, though they try.

>>33418640
I'm the character that eleven is based on. You won't believe me because you don't know what has been going on.

>>33418652
Is that really you, El? When did you incarnate?

I don't really like culture these days.

Weed should be made federally legal by the way. Someone with a lot of power and influence should try to completely federally legalize pot.

Here's why. It's unfairly stigmatized. What we're talking about here is prohibition like alcohol. It's basically wine.

The strains of marijuana available in my local (legal) pot shop are actually too powerful. I am personally sober, but I believe I would benefit from some moderate weed use. The only reason I do not use weed is the stigma associated with it.

I think what I'm trying to say is like, that hippy wave that lead to pot becoming legalized was really great and these days people are acting terrible and immature.

Go back to advocating for pot use. Destigmatizing and legalizing pot is not going to lead to the same hippy wave. That's convoluted, but the rolling out effects of global pot legalization would be nothing but positive.

make pot cool again.

take the edge off. read Csikszentmihalyi

>>33418666
You will see soon, Satan. They always tell my story.

>>33418672
The one good thing that Trudeau did. I love weed but it makes me too lazy to be productive.

>>33418677
You're always so snarky, you know I hate being called Satan. Did they put you on Earth without being born?

>>33418682
Yeah, I'm snarky sometimes but I was referring to the 666. I have no idea about my early childhood as I forget almost all of it. I don't know my past except I was studied by the military.

>>33418636
I want the quality of shit I wade through to be a higher teir.

>>33418633
You are one of the people that enables their bad behavior.

>>33418692
Just order online.

>>33418691
Well, it's nice seeing you again. Later.

>>33418695
You are one of the people that needs to find out why you lack empathy. I love most people, even crazies. In fact I would much rather spend time with a crazy, than an authoritarian angry person who is incapable of empathy.

>>33418700
Yeah, I'm going too. I will leave angry, entitled person alone, so they can seethe by themself.

>>33418695
People like you always leave out the fact that they dont all have bad behavior. Its like you dont want them to improve so you can justify your behavior. And when they do you still treat them like shit.

Where the lemons at?

>>33413069 (OP)
I lost my federal job all because I wanted to fuck with some dumb ass 18 y/o girl and let her get drunk when she's not even old enough to drink. And now, I might end up either living in my car again or whatever they determine with this case that's still over my head. I wish I never went out that night.

>>33418695
And you do this because in a world where everyone else solves their problems you'll have to realize you where the problem the whole time. And you can't let that happen.

>>33418704
>need to find out why
Projecting

>authoritarian angry person who is incapable of empathy.
Keep projecting, it makes you look so reasonable

>>33418799
You feeding the bad behavior of mentaly ill people doesn't reflect on me as much as you want it to.

I don't say I'm perfect, that's your projection.

I can’t imagine why this would be necessary. To go so far until I can’t imagine myself feeling love towards or from someone. What could the reason be? Is it actually just Derek and Tammy being selfish psychopaths? Help me understand.

>>33418681
I would like it if Trump takes a swing and legalizing pot and promoting major league baseball as a more prominent national sport.

I know Trump will probably not do the weed thing. The president who drives the federal weed legalization movement is going to be one of the most likable presidents of all time.

-----

Another thing is that people these days protest too much. They forget that this guy is actually a person in the white house and maybe you can just ask him for stuff. Americans need to lay off protesting and start just relating well. Culture and etiquette are sincerely remiss in these real times.

I want to be a persuasive writer for the Boston Globe so we can get this weed thing through.

>>33418870
This is what it takes to become a major dealer in legal exports.

still soapy

>be me, 25yo femcel
>Athletic tomboy, but also introverted autist
>On the bus one day
>Fat goblina loudly complaining to her uggo friend about her boyfriend, who she's already cheated on
>Tfw men will line up for a fat ugly bitch but will not date you

>>33419255
I'll line up for you.
Introvert tomboys need love too.

>>33418813
Liar.

deliberately taking your time to open a message, being scared of sending two messages in a row - why do people do this? why do so many want to appear uncaring and cold? this shit is tragic.

Fucked up again, bros. I had a chance and blew it. She liked me. she told people she liked me. Other friends picked up on it. We vibe all the time. Today I decided to make a move and... she said "yes" but couldn't commit to a day because of schoolwork (summer semester). I know it's not a no, and it's a valid reason, but this isn't my first rodeo. She doesn't want to do it. I can pick up on the vibe. She felt weirded out that I asked.

Oh well. Fumble of the year.

I envy people who are able to use "background noise" sorta stuff to help them fall asleep. It's not something I seem to be physically capable of doing, even when I'm exhausted which I usually am. If something's on, even if it's crap, I have to focus on it and can't just drift off to sleep whilst it plays. I'm the kind of person who talks to every single NPC in a game and has to do that to tick some strange autistic quota with no actual success criteria in their head. I've actually been making a checklist for around 15 years of everything I watch, play and read, and think that might be part of this subconscious issue I've developed. How do you learn to just tune out to some dumb 10 hour video of paint drying or something? Can I unlock that ability at this point? I'm sick of having a note file on my phone tracking all the shit I'm following, I take it more seriously than my actual responsibilities. Get a grip you fool, literally no one cares but you and deep down you don't particularly care either.

I am falling in love so hard either way you and you seem to want to stay either way you bf. I don’t get it. You cheated on him with me already. I know thing about you he wouldn’t ever forgive or forget and I’m willing to be either you despite that. I’m far wealthier. I know he must be your first serious relationship if I’m understanding you life story well but there is a reason we found each other. And there is a reason you talk to me when you’re alone at night.
Leave him already…

>>33419585
if she cheated on another man with you then she will just as easily do the same to you

You look like a movie star I don’t know what did I do to deserve your attention and being in bed with you and that’s what’s killing me. I live in constant fear of losing you and yet you seem happy to be with me.
I’m having such a strong imposter syndrome…

>>33419596
I cheated on and ex when I found my last serious gf and we stayed faithfully together for 4 1/2 years

I feel so fucking alone.

My friends have either moved away or don't contact me anymore. I tried to talk to someone about the struggles I was having in my life after they were confiding in me and they just pretended they didn't hear me and changed the subject.

I'm married, but my wife works a very stressful job that has bled into all non-working time. I just feel obligated to support her and shut my mouth about my feelings. Our sex life has been almost completely dead for the last three years and I miss when she used to care how I was feeling.

It just sucks. I adopted two cats, hoping they would love me at least, but they seem afraid of me.

I feel like I'm losing my god damn mind. Some days I get so depressed it starts causing me physical pain. Lately I find myself needing to scream almost any time I'm alone in my care. I sometimes break down crying lately. I feel like putting my head through my computer, or punching through my TV. I hate myself, I hate my life, lately I find myself even hating God.

I want to die so badly, but I'm too afraid to kill myself.

I can't keep going on like this.

Pick up a new book, read 30 pages, lose interest in finishing it, wait a few weeks, pick up a new book...

>>33419255
Stdu cunt

>>33419688
Are you fat, ugly, a cheater, or a combination of the above?

>>33419679
You need to rearrange the way your mind perceives books. Instead of viewing it as a chore, be excited that you are lucky enough to have so many pages to go. Put your cell phone in another room, or leave it at home at drive down the block and read in your car

>>33413069 (OP)
sometimes i just look at my life and see the damage they did and how it will affect me for the rest of my life, if i want to continue with it. And in these moments, i just have nothing to say. just rumbling silence. just silence.

>>33419692
Youre just jealous cuz guys like my figure bitch

>>33419693
Yea it just seems it takes me so long to read a single book, but there are so many that are interesting

>>33419831
Read everyday and stop giving up so easily you pathetic quitter. Stop making excuses. Seriously. Either do it or shut up

>>33419848
Fair enough

I finally landed a job in my field in a serious place. Nothing too fancy, but from the sound of it a decent position in these trying times. It is based in a big city I've never lived in where most of my peers have gone to few years ago. I was happy to have an occasion to reconnect with them, but it turns out all of the people I wanted to catch up with have moved out or are in the process of doing that. This has bummed me out a good bit, unreasonably so, even.

I open /adv/ and all people are talking about is women, it's fucking annoying how the world revolves around women and their stinky vaginas

>>33419864
I read 100 pages today 50 from each book different genres completely. One basically gossip and the other respectable. Just fucking read more and start going for walks with your books

I explained in my notes years ago and several times since then that I was in a state of psychosis that evening thinking that I was talking to Paul thru Andrew’s phone number. That’s why I said “sorry for trying to steal your girl”. Then I tried to clarify to Andrew, he ignored. That same night it sounded like someone was trying to recruit me into a militia or else, from Andrew’s phone number. I also think I even sent Andrew a text message to clarify but if I did then it’s gone. I called several times, knocked on his door. I know that when I texted “love u, bro” I meant that so I must have received a phone call with a threatening nature afterwards that sounded like Andrew voice but didn’t sound like Andrew. That’s why u heard me calling him “bro” with such a disingenuous tone until things escalated.

>>33420027
I was under the impression that either she or Paul were the owners of “Michael’s” account as well as the other account. I was buck broken after leaving the hospital for various reasons.

I excused the possibility of despicable behavior towards me because I actually wanted to make amends with someone I viewed as a dangerous hacker with similar ideology.

Wasn’t sure if they were a federal agent or just a hacker. Whatever.

I'm so mad at my ex gf. I hate her

Whoever is trying to puppet string me with signs instead of simply having a conversation with me is fucked up. What do u want?

Can’t say no to that

Anyway I never spoke inappropriately to Marissa. I never tried to take any of my friend’s girlfriends away from them. I only tried to take someone’s woman one time and that’s because I liked them and they appeared to be abused and I was shooting my last shot. I shouldn’t need to clarify this for the sake of my reputation but here I am.

More shit that I shouldn’t have to be dealing with.

WHY DO I HAVE TO BE SO TALL

>>33420180
said no one ever

>>33420184
Says me, I'm 6'3. It's so fucking hard to put on weight I've been underweight my whole life. I can't get the big strong chad physique or whatever the fuck you wanna call it. I've been a skeleton my whole life. It's so emasculating being small for my height.

>>33420193
dumbass, just eat more food, cook with more oil/butter and starting drinking your calories, its that easy
and even if it wasnt, chicks still love skinny guys as long as they’re tall
u dont belong here

>>33420204
That's the thing
>"just eat bro"
I've been trying to do that my entire fucking life, it never works out for me. People always make fun of me for being lighter, they always tell me I look like I need to eat WHEN I EAT SO FUCKING MUCH DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD I TRY TO LOOK HEALTHY ME BEING UNDERWEIGHT DOESN'T MAKE ME ANY LESS OF A MAN YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE I FUCKING HATE ALL OF YOU my whole life they've made fun of me for something I tried to get rid of, if I was shorter it would be so much easier to bulk, I have these terrible stretch marks all over my body, my bones stick through my wrists and my back, kids would touch my spine during school and make me out to be a freak of nature just because my skeleton was overly visible, if I tug on my shirt you can see my ribcage, I fucking hate it

>>33420220
Okay then eat more? Your metabolism surely can’t be that fucking fast, if eating a lot didnt work before then eat EVEN more and try again next time or stop whining like a bitch.

>>33420220
Literally count every calorie you put in your mouth for a week. Do it. If you can’t eat enough drink the rest.

>>33420258
are you dense? did you not read what I just posted? are you braindead? do you need me to drill it into your fucking skull for you?

I fucking hate you

I don't want to walk on eggshells or keep the peace anymore. Mental health and counselling is free in our country, please get help.

>>33420266
You voiced a complaint you have in ur life, and I gave u a solution, and you react offended by it.
Maybe the reason ppl don’t see you as masculine isn’t due to your lack of weight but due to your pissy personality.

Venting on here would make me a massive loser if I were ever to come out about it, but it's preferable to killing myself I guess. I don't have to overshare everything I do to people.

>>33420296
they literally pointed out my weight every time they mocked me with things like "he's so light I could push him over" or "he must be so weak" and things like that, your "solution" you've given me hasn't worked my whole life so why would it work now, I've been upping how much I consume for a long time now and nothing works, nothing ever works for me, I'm not denying that people are extremely vicious to short men either, I just wish I was a bit shorter, I don't care about the women, I don't care about that at all, I just wish I could look healthy, I shouldn't see my skeleton this much my bones shouldn't be this apparent, when I scratch the back of my neck I can feel the bumps of my spine, I can fit my thumb and pointer finger around my wrist, me being underweight IS what people make fun of me for, the countless jokes like "I could push you over" or that a fucking breeze will knock me over as if I'm a fucking twig, kids would try to arm wrestle me because I was just such a stickbug and if I'd lose they'd attribute that to my weight or if I won it's simply because I was "taller" and that was it, there's no winning here, women always make fun of me that I'm not filled out, they say that they don't feel protected near me as if I would instantly lose to another guy because of my weight, people have said I look mean and have a "resting bitch face" because of my hollow cheeks, no one takes a guy seriously if he's overly lanky, they want skinny guys, not a fucking skeleton like me, they want a "lean boy aesthetic" they don't want some freak where if I just bend my neck over you can see my bones emerge, I hate sitting down because that's where I'm most vulnerable since everyone can see how lean I am, eating more hasn't worked for years so I have no reason to believe it'll work now

I'm a bitter and angry loser but I'm sure that's no surprise either, I just can't stand it anymore when a girl I liked laughs me off as some joke just because I'm extremely thin

If one more fucking person tells me to not use dating apps and then refuses to list even a single alternative place to meet women while doing so I'm going to freak. The only realistic answer I've ever heard was "church", otherwise I have no fucking clue what these guys think they're saying when they say to just go outside and meet people.

>>33420333
Shit man maybe it’s something medical then? How devoted and critical have your past attempts been to put on weight?

I can't tell if being here has made me a better person or not, somehow

>>33420408
sorry if I got angry earlier, I'm a very angry and spiteful person and it's entirely my fault for lashing out like a retard when you ARE listening and ARE trying to help me

I usually eat until I'm full, as a kid my father was very neglectful so I didn't eat a lot but I wagecuck in the food industry now so I basically have unlimited food, I tried switching it up to something more healthy so maybe I have to eat junk food to see any huge changes but I try to have a full stomach from when I wake up to when I go to bed, the only times I feel hungry is when I'm making food for me to feed said hunger basically

maybe I should see a doctor actually, I was probably malnourished as a kid

Have fun with shit bag boy

>>33420275
I would bet you're actually a psychopath.
"Mental health... is free"

You're so low IQ it's sad.
I bet you're lying too that it's free in your country.

>>33420423
You're too far gone to be a good person if you don't see it.

>>33420451
You're right I guess

>>33419998
Oh so you're here because you're looking for a stinky asshole to fuck.Or a sweaty dirty sack...they smell like fish when unwashed.

>>33420451
Adding on, I also love how people seem to think therapy or mental health services are easily accessible. Like going to the store to buy groceries. motherfucker I wish it was. Wouldn't have gotten so bad otherwise

Torn between texting her some more regrettable shit, and just leaving it alone.

Sounds simple, but the temptation to pick at a wound is all consuming. My mental illness keeps telling me that if I just say the right thing, I can recapture her attention.

>>33420470
>My mental illness keeps telling me that if I just say the right thing, I can recapture her attention.
How many texts have you sent since she last responded?

>>33420432
If you’re just looking to put on weight then what ur eating doesn’t really matter, it’s how much in terms of total calorie intake, so yeah junk food would be the more calorically dense option but I’m sure you already know that.
It’d maybe make some sense why you’d be struggling so much to gain weight if you were like 6’8+ but at 6’3, it shouldn’t be as hard as it seems like it has been for you.
Idk ur life or the means of efforts you’ve gone through to gain weight nor can I really give u any advice for gaining weight that you haven’t already heard before, all I can say is to go get urself checked out medically and hopefully that’ll provide a solution or at least some form of answers.
In the meantime, women or anyone for that matter that who put u down for ur weight aren’t worth ur time. even if it’s rare, surround yourself with ppl that respect you and cut anyone else out.

>>33420473
Timeline looks like this:

>Last Friday I lash out because we haven't hung out in a long time
>She responds defensively
>Apologize on Tuesday, she doesn't exactly accept and things are weird
>Get desperate/horny/retarded Tuesday night and ask if she'd be down to just hookup and we can have fun and not talk about the tough shit
>No response
>Feel foolish, apologize again in person when I see her on Wednesday (she's a customer at work)
>She kinda laughs, says she drafted responses but decided she'd have regretted sending them
>Haven't actually had a text exchange since Tuesday

>>33420489
thanks for hearing me through anon, I've tried to shy away from more junk stuff since my mother used to get really sick sometimes but I think it's time to venture out a bit more, I should get checked out at the doctors to see if my inner workings are "up to date" lol
>In the meantime, women or anyone for that matter that who put u down for ur weight aren’t worth ur time. even if it’s rare, surround yourself with ppl that respect you and cut anyone else out.
Ah wish I knew this when I was younger, thank you for your time :)

>>33420473
>>33420499
>How many texts have you sent since she last responded?

And in direct answer to your question, 3 texts since she last responded.

>>33420451
I'm just Getting it off my chest anon, it's not about you anyways. Also it is free in Canada.

>>33420469
You can get a referral for a doc for a shrink or counciler, what's the problem?

>>33420499
Damn, I don't think a text will work here bro. Do you see each other a lot in person? When you apologized in person was it a long discussion or short and simple since you're at work? You may need to sit down and have a chat possibly if you haven't fully reconciled this over text.
>And in direct answer to your question, 3 texts since she last responded.
Ah not too bad, if it was a ton more it could be viewed as a bit obsessive (this depends on how active and deep you are into your relationship of course).

Do you see her a lot in person? Sometimes a call works better than a text as it's more organic and you can fully get your thoughts out in real time.

Maybe that anon was an "empath." Kek.

>>33420515
I do see her a lot in person, but because I'm working it's kinda awkward and not a guarantee that I'll have time. When I apologized in person it was maybe a 10 minute convo?

I was like "So, listen..." and she kinda laughed and shook her head knowingly. I said I was embarrassed and that I'd just been feeling blue about things between us, and that those feelings are my problem and not hers. She responded pretty much how I already told you.

A phonecall would probably be the way to go. But what do I even say? Another apology? I just feel lame. It's a tough conversation to start organically, but oh well. I did this to myself.

Maybe that random anon was an "empath," or a cluster B, kek.

>>33420533
You could try to start it up again. She sounds like she may be over what happened already and we could be sperging out over a minor detail lol.

I just crash and burned with someone but I explained everything I was trying to communicate over a call and it fixed practically everything.

Good luck anon

Are you kidding? What the fuck ever.

>>33420607
No, I am not kidding about cluster B bastards.

>>33420511
It's just the fear of being sent to a ward for talking about my suicide ideation. I've heard they aren't pleasant. I'd like to vent about such issues without immediately being sent to grippy sock jail for it. And it would be game over if my parents found out about my private issues (muslims amirite)

>>33420674
That's understandable. I don't know what the states is like for suicidal ideation, but up here they can't hospitalize you unless you have a plan to hurt other people or yourself. I heard psych wards were like jail in the states. That does sound rough.

I'm only a quarter white but because I never go out into the sun people think I'm 50/50.

>>33420768
What is the 75 percent of u made up of?

>>33420772
negro