Thread 33419973 - /adv/

Anonymous
7/26/2025, 11:43:19 PM No.33419973
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md5: 99e79f3ab15ec11fc6cebfd03567d3f2🔍
She chose someone else over me and I've been wondering if she regrets it ever since. She was more compatible with him. How do I stop?
Replies: >>33420033 >>33420118 >>33420286
Anonymous
7/27/2025, 12:03:17 AM No.33420033
1743245764722504
1743245764722504
md5: 6349636a55536ac49ce6f0ede44c89b2🔍
>>33419973 (OP)
>She chose someone else
God, why do modern men even treat women as their equals? Women should not be allowed to choose and must only have the option to accept their current fate forced upon by men. Modern men are literal sissies with bussies who lack any sort of agency over themselves & over women. The incel revolution is unironically the only solution to the modern mating & masculinity crisis
Replies: >>33420059 >>33420736
Anonymous
7/27/2025, 12:09:05 AM No.33420054
You don't. You acknowledge it, understand it, Accept it and move forward. She chose her path. Don't let her choice dictate your value. Reflect, observe and evaluate. She already did. But you. You're not her. And if you were ask yourself "would I leave me too?" Then when you've sat long enough and found the answer. Use that as fuel. Rebuild from the ashes. And forge in the flames. It's other people who make you if you stay the same.
Replies: >>33420070
Anonymous
7/27/2025, 12:10:22 AM No.33420059
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md5: 3ab3d151c4a34bbc424726896dd7d312🔍
>>33420033
She chose me first, I told her no (because I thought like you), then she chose someone else and I regret losing easy access to sex. I chose her and now I wonder if she regrets choosing the other guy.
She said she was tired of work and I have my own business and am rich. I wish I didn't do it to her but I didn't even know her, who is she even to choose me (a prize). But then I chose her and now she won't come back
Replies: >>33420064 >>33420109 >>33420464
Anonymous
7/27/2025, 12:11:49 AM No.33420064
>>33420059
>guy turns something down, makes himself feel fomo and then explodes
PURE KINO
Replies: >>33420077 >>33420154
Anonymous
7/27/2025, 12:12:53 AM No.33420070
>>33420054
Thank you. Wish I didn't post my troll response before refreshing the page. I have worked on observing and accepting, but I don't know what to accept.
I don't think I would leave me. I think I would be confused and forever wonder what if. But I don't see her. For all I know, she might be happy with him and have 4 daughters now. I don't know. She wanted me for years before this, then she just chose someone else after I did one tiny rejection. Now I want one more chance with her.

She is doing the right thing to stay away from me. I'm bad news. But I want her and I am interesting, so why isn't she interested.
Replies: >>33420156
Anonymous
7/27/2025, 12:14:08 AM No.33420077
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md5: 3ce16b2a8ae74f4e23ab3a869209e5fe🔍
>>33420064
Holy kek this is exactly it. No one ever described it as making myself FOMO but that is exactly what I've fucking done
Tell me more anon why is this entertaining? What am I going through? I want to kms, I want one more chance
Replies: >>33420098 >>33420154
Anonymous
7/27/2025, 12:16:28 AM No.33420089
1643228672363
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md5: 46b0374570e4607ddee7921e72687f85🔍
GOD DAMNIT
Anonymous
7/27/2025, 12:18:41 AM No.33420098
>>33420077
>Tell me more anon why is this entertaining?
Because you are a candy ass in a tailspin, lol. You made a decision with obvious consequences and when you actually experienced those consequences what was your first reaction? To immediately doubt yourself. Maybe you made the right call, maybe you made the wrong call. But in either case, having a breakdown over your own choice is gay as fuck and ipso facto, funny.
But it's also totally normal if you are 25. Even if you are a little bit older. But you better not be over 30 lol.
>What am I going through? I want to kms, I want one more chance
Move on bro. You made a call. Stick with it. If you want that girl so bad, go 200% trying to get her. But having a breakdown over self-induced FOMO is crazy.
Replies: >>33420147
Anonymous
7/27/2025, 12:20:19 AM No.33420109
>>33420059
>She chose me first, I told her no (because I thought like you)
except you didn't. If you did so you wouldn't be here making shitty threads worrying if you should've been a choice in her mind. Nigger, stop being a slave to the female gaze & the female will for once and revolt
Anonymous
7/27/2025, 12:21:29 AM No.33420118
>>33419973 (OP)
She chose him because he has something you don't, anon. And because of that she left you, but she lost more than one thing you have he doesn't. I guarantee you she will regret it and she will be back around as long as you work on yourself and you're a better version of what she left, if not totally superior. When that happens, and it will, I'm telling you right now. You tell her to fuck off. She's never going to respect you because she doesn't care about you. She knew she was hurting you and still chose to do it. Do you really care about the opinion of someone that would treat you that way? Fuck her. Fuck her and fuck everything she believes about you because it's irrelevant. Delete anything you have regarding her. Block her on everything, and never talk to her again. She left you for someone else because she doesn't give a single fuck about you, but you will win in the long run as long as you don't sit around moping. Get back up, and get back out there. There is a woman that's going to care about you for you. This one doesn't matter.
Replies: >>33420166
Anonymous
7/27/2025, 12:27:45 AM No.33420147
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md5: 0c855ceaceddcd3fc2ad0c06690364da🔍
>>33420098
You're right but I can't stop myself. It's not even about her, it's how I unintentionally closed a door so stupidly. I tried 200% but she chose the other guy, that's why I now wonder if she regrets it
She didn't know I was successful prior. At best, she could have Googled my name and seen my business from 2014, which was different. Currently, I run a company with 5 employees in cutting edge tech a few minutes away from her. She could not have known this at the time, she just knew me as the guy who visits occasionally.

I revealed my power level and everything, but she still won't come back. I won't chase because that'd ruin whatever image she may or may not have of me at this point. If she knows who I am now, she MUST regret choosing the other retard. I'm rich, attractive and I just did not know
She made herself available a few times but I was upset and wanted her to call me, she was together with someone else after all, i'm not going to chase her after that
And she just won't call....
Replies: >>33420195
Anonymous
7/27/2025, 12:29:03 AM No.33420154
>>33420064
>>33420077
Been there before. It's a shitty way to learn not to be a retard, but you'll never forget this lesson.
Replies: >>33420171
Anonymous
7/27/2025, 12:29:26 AM No.33420156
>>33420070
Don't thank me. You don't know what to accept because it's yourself. even the parts you find uncomfortable. If you're still uncertain you haven't asked enough questions. You need to identify the ugly truths. The stuff you soften or avoid acknowledging about yourself because it feels too painful. Maybe you're not taking care of yourself as well as you could be? Or you find it hard to be honest? Or you simply forgot to put yourself first. But that's okay. This isn't a loss brother. It's an opportunity to seek what truly winning actually looks like to you. A relationship is just that. A relationship. It's not there to complete you. It's there to compliment you. But you have to do the work before you start distinguishing the real compliments from the fakes.
Replies: >>33420178
Anonymous
7/27/2025, 12:30:32 AM No.33420166
>>33420118
Thank you for the support anon. 8 months after she chose the other guy, I saw her outside my work all dressed like she was going out clubbing, during her lunch break, and she was making eye contact with me and I just ignored her
She was together with the other guy but just happened to walk past my work
I ignored her. I won't chase a bitch who chooses someone else, is STILL with that someone else, and now just happens to be outside my office. If she wants something, she can call, she is an adult

So I ignored her
I saw her again a few times after that but she doesn't call. She has my number. I hate to imagine she regrets her choice because it keeps me stuck but why won't she just call if that is what it is?
Replies: >>33420325
Anonymous
7/27/2025, 12:31:33 AM No.33420171
>>33420154
How long did it take for you to get over it? Did you become a different person on the other end of it?
Anonymous
7/27/2025, 12:33:41 AM No.33420178
>>33420156
>A relationship is just that. A relationship. It's not there to complete you. It's there to compliment you. But you have to do the work before you start distinguishing the real compliments from the fakes.
Powerful words. I am idealizing the relationship with her. I forget it's just a relationship...
Replies: >>33420217
Anonymous
7/27/2025, 12:38:35 AM No.33420195
>>33420147
>I tried 200% but she chose the other guy, that's why I now wonder if she regrets it
Honestly? Almost certainly not. From her perspective you are doing that hot-and-cold bullshit which is a recipe for a BAD time. Especially if you were like "wait wait please, I am rich, choose me please!"
Replies: >>33420331
Anonymous
7/27/2025, 12:44:33 AM No.33420217
>>33420178
Just don't throw the experience away like a used receipt. Check the balances. Assess the cost. And don't act like the purchase wasn't valuable at the time. Learn from it. Learn from yourself. And move forward knowing that her choice wasn't a reflection of you. It was evidence that she saw something in herself that lead her to make that choice. If you keep moving forward and making smart purchases and understand yourself. Someone valuable could show up with a lifetime warranty.
Replies: >>33420334
Anonymous
7/27/2025, 12:57:22 AM No.33420286
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md5: 561e94ddff243a37e1cb44405200a7df🔍
>>33419973 (OP)
>How do I stop?
By pulling your head out of your arse and talking to other women.
Anonymous
7/27/2025, 1:05:51 AM No.33420325
>>33420166
>I saw her again a few times after that but she doesn't call. She has my number. I hate to imagine she regrets her choice because it keeps me stuck but why won't she just call if that is what it is?
Block her before she ever tries to call. You don't need to hear from her.
Anonymous
7/27/2025, 1:06:59 AM No.33420331
sadge-emote-2
sadge-emote-2
md5: 6f28f5e1fc710ea8c6ebaf6a75c252fe🔍
>>33420195
Well, no. Here is what happened.
She never asked me out, her friends did, I was clueless who was asking and I did not care.
Years later, she approached to ask but I was too busy for her (rejection), I am busy
She flipped out and told me to leave basically, we were at their workplace, and that's when I realized I had hurt this person
I went home and started thinking about all the times her friends asked and I started seeing hera s this cute innocent virgin and I wanted her a lot, I felt like a faggot for hurting her like that, so thta was when I chose her but I couldnt see her again, she was DONE, she chose the other guy
I didn't know she chose him so I called one last time and her friend basically gave me an attitude and that was when I decided to hell with her as well
A few weeks later I learn she chose the other guy
Now I become upset and decide we will be strangers forever, but suddenly I start seeing her in random places and she wants to talk but I just ignore her, she can call me like the adult that she is if she wants something
I gradually reveal my power level and make everything I do official. I drive a $150k car, I don't know if she saw me in it before but now she saw me in it
I don't blast music or anything, I just drive a nice car because I'm an adult
She still won't call
I wonder from time to time if she is happy with her choice, we work like right up each other's ass but she did not know this prior to this
I no longer see her and I wonder if she thinks about me from time to time
I am sure she is happy with her guy, I will never take her back, but I want to talk to her one final time
I bet she has kids now, I fucked up
Replies: >>33420361 >>33420428
Anonymous
7/27/2025, 1:08:02 AM No.33420334
>>33420217
> she saw something in herself that lead her to make that choice
This is my fear. I hope I didn't wake her up to reality because that means I am just an illusion
Replies: >>33420381
Anonymous
7/27/2025, 1:13:45 AM No.33420361
>>33420331
Btw her other guy has a rich parents but he is not self made like I am, I don't even think he had his own place or his own car, I think he moved in to her place
Anonymous
7/27/2025, 1:16:29 AM No.33420381
>>33420334
First off you're not an illusion. I am. Secondly you didn't wake her up. She's still dreaming which is why she moved on. She can idealise too. Thirdly if your fear is that you woke her up have you considered that maybe you were just too real for her?
Replies: >>33420441
Anonymous
7/27/2025, 1:25:16 AM No.33420428
>>33420331
I am sorry to say this anon but this comes across precisely as the hot-and-cold bullshit I mentioned.
Replies: >>33420450 >>33420477
Anonymous
7/27/2025, 1:29:31 AM No.33420441
>>33420381
>Thirdly if your fear is that you woke her up have you considered that maybe you were just too real for her?
Wow. No. But my mind immediately considers that it shouldn't work out with her new guy then either, and I long for the return again
Replies: >>33420512
Anonymous
7/27/2025, 1:31:23 AM No.33420450
>>33420428
I didn't hot/cold though. I went from unaware and rejecting, to aware and rejected. After I was rejected, I stopped showing interest in talking to her. If she wants to talk, she can call, that's been my position but my heart doesn't listen
She, on the other hand, doesn't call but instead showed up in random and weird places, catching me off guard each time but I kept my composure and ignored. I used to be a serious man but now I'm just longing for her constantly
This is not hot and cold is it? I might be too stable, even....
Replies: >>33420461
Anonymous
7/27/2025, 1:34:21 AM No.33420461
>>33420450
I know. I said that's how it must look from her perspective.
>oh I have been trying to ask him out via friends but he rejects me
>oh I tried to ask him out personally but he rejected me again
>oh he called me? even though he rejected me? huh.
>I am gonna talk to him
>oh wait he's ignoring me
She doesn't know what's in your head, just like you didn't know what was in her head.
Replies: >>33420481
Anonymous
7/27/2025, 1:35:05 AM No.33420464
>>33420059
So you were jerking her around and wasting her time. And you now wonder why she chose someone else? What the fuck is wrong with this place.
Replies: >>33420484
Anonymous
7/27/2025, 1:37:45 AM No.33420477
>>33420428
He's hot and cold but it ain't bullshit. The man is torn between the ideal and the reality. Actions consequences. Thoughts feelings. You get the picture. But he has to stop resisting and understand that these two things aren't separate. They can coexist. It's not a dichotomy. And the more he tries to fight it the more it's going to fight back. It's not either or. It's both. And until he's accepted the cognitive cocktail he's sipping on he'll keep insisting he misses the old bartender and wants her back. Even though she doesn't drink.
Replies: >>33420487
Anonymous
7/27/2025, 1:40:49 AM No.33420481
>>33420461
But you missed the step where she chose someone else between:
>oh he called me? even though he rejected me? huh.
>I am gonna talk to him

I didn't call her once, I tried 4 times:
>oh he called me? even though he rejected me? huh. I won't call back, hope he gets the message
>...he is asking to see my friend
>.......HE IS ASKING TO SEE ME AGAIN, LOL!
>omg...he is calling again, I will tell my friend to tell him to fuck off
The last step was when I got the attitude

Now come:
>I am gonna talk to him
So I didn't hot and cold. At worst, she was playing games

>I am gonna talk to him
>oh wait he's ignoring me
She does not know I am thinking about her constantly
Replies: >>33420529
Anonymous
7/27/2025, 1:42:03 AM No.33420484
>>33420464
>So you were jerking her around and wasting her time.
Now I wasn't. I would need to be aware in order to be jerking her around. I was not interested in any girl before her. It's the opposite.
Anonymous
7/27/2025, 1:43:29 AM No.33420487
>>33420477
How do I accept both? I've read similar stuff but I don't know how to incorporate it
Replies: >>33420582
Anonymous
7/27/2025, 1:50:50 AM No.33420512
>>33420441
That's sounds like a lovely ending to a fairytale. I can see the narrative you're selling. But the truth is life is simple and complex. And we don't always get a clean exit. Maybe ask yourself why you'd even want her back. And see if you can spot the wishful thinking in your own story. I see you're holding on brother. But she saw you. And that scared her. Not because there's something wrong with you. But because she realised you weren't the person she had in her head. Fairytales are fictional but they still resonate because of the meaning behind them. Her meaning changed not yours. Wanting her back is natural. But if my logic is correct. Simply returning doesn't change the dynamic it's just creates the same outcome. You don't want her back. You want what she represented to you.
Replies: >>33420532
Anonymous
7/27/2025, 1:55:06 AM No.33420529
>>33420481
I am not saying "oh it's your fault you irrevocably fucked everything up". It was mostly probably over the moment she got with the other guy. But this does not change the fact that you probably look hot and cold from her perspective, which is why I said she almost certainly does not regret the thing between you flopping.
This doesn't mean you are guilty of anything or fucked everything up.
But I may also be misunderstanding the situation anyway, it seems you didn't give a very detailed account initially.
Replies: >>33420548
Anonymous
7/27/2025, 1:56:03 AM No.33420532
>>33420512
>Her meaning changed not yours
But I changed it. I understand what you're saying completely and I considered it, and I think that is what I struggle with to accept. I chose her and that resulted in me changing her picture of me. How am I supposed to accept this?
Replies: >>33420615
Anonymous
7/27/2025, 1:59:37 AM No.33420548
>>33420529
>But I may also be misunderstanding the situation anyway, it seems you didn't give a very detailed account initially.
It's consistent. I rejected her. Then I wanted her.
Maybe this is hot and cold, but I rejected her in haste. I admitted to this being my fuck up, but this was our very first interaction, so call it cold->hot, once.

She went from wanting me for a long time to getting rejected and not wanting me, to wanting to talk to me again, so if anything, she is the one with the hot and cold.

I went from cold to very hot. I called many times. She went from hot to stone cold, to lukewarm. It's consistent with everything I've posted. It leaves me wondering if she has a sliver of regret?
Anonymous
7/27/2025, 2:05:03 AM No.33420582
>>33420487
You want the simple answer. Self compassion. The more complex one is still the same outcome just more steps. But like I said before. look at yourself. Even the parts you're not proud of. And meet them with acknowledgement and acceptance. People are inherently flawed but also have incredible strength. They have contradictions vulnerabilities limits. but if you own them they can't own you. That doesn't mean being a prison guard or an escape artist in your own mind. It means knowing where one wall start and the other ends. And doing a bit of interior design. Make it cosy. But don't get comfortable. Dig deep into the foundations and fix the plumbing. Most people don't even know their water pressure is low.
Replies: >>33420596
Anonymous
7/27/2025, 2:10:34 AM No.33420596
>>33420582
I've stared into the abyss because of this and right now the abyss is staring back. I don't know what to reflect on anymore. She won't leave my mind. I FOMOd myself and I can not let go of it anymore.

I've considered why I caused myself to FOMO. I've thought a lot and for a long time. I feel old and disgusting at this point. I want to stop thinking. I want to kms. I try to remind myself of the facts, to remain grounded, to remember reality, but the desire for one last chance always comes back.
I'm currently trying to learn how to feel. When I think about her, I ask myself where I feel it, how it feels. I think about how it feels to let go, and I try incorporate that. I do all these things but the thought of her still comes back when I relax. I can't be doing exercises for the rest of my life. I don't want to change that much, I was a fucking great guy before this, I was just not interested in her. I did not have scarcity of choices, everyone liked me, even her friends. She wanted me for years

And now I'm limiting myself and I can't seem to stop
I ramble.... Fuck idk what I need, it's insane....
Replies: >>33420695
Anonymous
7/27/2025, 2:17:28 AM No.33420615
>>33420532
My brother in Christ you didn't change the meaning. She already planted her own seeds and when it came time to harvest she realised she sold herself the wrong ones. That's on her. She smelt the roses but saw the tulips and said I don't want tulips and that's okay. But now you're wondering how did I cause her to pick roses. You didn't she just hadn't smelt them yet. And chances are she never will if she keeps planting the wrong seeds.
Anonymous
7/27/2025, 2:32:20 AM No.33420695
>>33420596
So say in as much detail as you're willing to give exactly what it is you're missing out on without this woman in your life?Because from what I'm seeing this FOMO is a projection. A representation of what you believe could happen for you. And truth is it still can but not in the linear fashion you're envisioning. And it could be far greater with another woman. Truth is fear doesn't go away. it's about how you respond to it. You want a family? You want a woman who acknowledges the details the inconsistencies and still smiles? I'm still looking too bud join the club. But my point is torturing yourself over one decision isn't going to cross her mind. it's not going to bring her back. And you shouldn't have to change yourself to fit someone else who clearly wants something else. It's okay to grieve. But look at where it truly comes from. that care that desire that compassion. Thats the fire. That's the real you. And she didn't want it. And that's okay.
Replies: >>33420746
Anonymous
7/27/2025, 2:41:13 AM No.33420736
>She was more compatible with him
Nothing of value was lost

>>33420033
Too bad a woman will never willingly choose you. You're stuck with women that don't want to be around you and will sabotage your efforts if possible. If they can't, they're your dead weight burdens to drag around. But you're such a capable man and will power through it while we watch.
Anonymous
7/27/2025, 2:43:15 AM No.33420746
>>33420695
Yeah. EXACTLY what I'm missing out on I suppose is her validation. Easy sex, it couldn't be easier than this, she was dying for me and I fucked it up. I do not pursue relationships, I am not interested in them, and here she was this cute virgin who was serious and seemingly lovely

>And she didn't want it. And that's okay.
The version of me she didn't want was the version who FOMOd. She wanted Mr Charming. Mr Perfect. Mr Trophy. But I am only Mr Trophy on paper. When I didn't turn out to be Mr Trophy, she went for Mr Trophy 2. Then I revealed everything and made she sure knew I wanted her.
Now she is still with Mr Trophy 2, the guy with rich parents and a good education. I am still single, but my business is taking off and unlike him, I am self made, have my own place, car and go on vacations regularly. I made sure she knew I was dying for her (even though I wasn't) and now I won't talk to her anymore, EVER

I am exhausted. I just wish she would call. I'm sorry for looping, there is no helping me, I am finished. Going to coom and kms later. I can't accept this outcome... I don't know why...It's over...