Thread 33435266

I have genuinely become so tired and I don't want to feel this annoying feeling anymore. No person seems to be interested in interacting with me at Uni. The only time people ever talk to me is if they need my help, and I provide it because I like to help people. Other than that no one even contacts me or wants to hang out with me and all of my friendships are surface level. And then there's girls : not a single one of them has ever noticed me or looked in my direction. Not a single one has ever sat next to me. I'm scared of sitting next to one myself because I don't want to look like a creep. I try to DM so many girls on Instagram but not a single one works. I either get left on delivered/read/straight up blocked. If a girl DMs me first, it always turns out to be a catfish. I don't even have any female friends. I'm just tired of it all, and I don't want to give a single fuck about anyone or anything anymore. What do I do ? I just want to be content with like the only 3 guy friends I've ever had since high school. I can't bother anymore with initiating friendships because I always end up alone in the end.

>>33435266 (OP)
I won't read yet another how do I stop feeling thread, posted by a subhuman moron who, hopefully, will continue to suffer until he ropes himself because he is too retarded to ever check the archives.

OP here, and to add on, I used to be part of a friend group that formed before our first year started, and I was quite happy with them, but then I fucked up. I was attracted to one of the girls in that friend group (she obviously didn't feel the same way, just like every girl that's ever interacted with me lol). One day I was sitting with her in a lecture and I started knowingly touching my elbow with her body. I thought it was the "physical contact" you're supposed to initiate with girls, but it was so stupid of me and instead of asking me to stop or anything she just went to one of the guys in our group who had a closer friendship with us and he just told me to fuck off from the friends group forever and never talk to the girls or people in that group ever again. I get the feeling that this story has spread throughout the entire department. I still regret my actions to this day, and I know that despite apologizing profusely, I will never be forgiven. I just want to forget and somehow move on.

>>33435281
I don't use this site often nigga. I'm just posting here and not on Reddit cuz I want to remain anonymous. I don't even know what archive to go to and how to even search it.
>ropes
Never. I am a man of God and because of that I have a will to live, even if my life seems to entail nothing but loneliness and suffering.

>>33435266 (OP)
Easy. You need a goal. The goal has to be something you want. Ex. My goal is to be get my own apartment. To accomplish this in my city you basically need a high paying job that you can only get through college or trade school. The next step is to quit social media, porn, and stop masturbating. This will reset your brain into not being addicted to these urges and bring them back to baseline levels. If that’s hard, buy a container that locks for your phone so you don’t use it on impulse. Buy a chastity belt so you don’t jerk off before bed.

OP speaking, one more thing is every night that I lay down in my bed, my head keeps imagining thoughts where I have a girlfriend and I'm constantly having loving, passionate sex with her and she's showering me with her full attention. Either that, or I get thoughts of two anime characters in a loving relationship who are also having sex. This keeps on going until I fall asleep. I don't want these thoughts to come to my mind anymore. I'm so fucking tired and I want to sleep with some peace. These thoughts make me feel so pathetic. What do I do?

>>33435310
But what happens after the goal?

my posts really are an incoherent mess, damn.

>>33435266 (OP)
Usually not possible unless you were born a schizoid or an autist to begin with. There's a reason you rarely seem them complaining about being virgins or women.
Best thing you can do is redpill yourself on female nature, but it seems like most men can't figure out a reason to motivate themselves to live if they don't have a woman in their lives.

>>33435266 (OP)
>The only time people ever talk to me is if they need my help, and I provide it because I like to help people.
Have you ever taken the time to analyze and figure out why that may be the case? No offense, but it's obvious that something about the way you carry yourself, how you interact or your body language, etc is contributing to that.
>And then there's girls : not a single one of them has ever noticed me or looked in my direction. Not a single one has ever sat next to me.
It's not on the woman to be the active principle here bro. That's our job as men. Hell, most dudes that *do* get noticed don't even realize that's happening. So this one basically means nothing.
>I try to DM so many girls on Instagram but not a single one works. I either get left on delivered/read/straight up blocked.
Internet dating is basically a waste of time if you're not in the top 20% of men. Even women uglier than you will swipe to reject because "We're all 10s" and they're delusional. Stick to real life. Women are much more reasonable when you deal with them irl and they get to know you.
>I'm scared of sitting next to one myself because I don't want to look like a creep.
Women hate insecurity. And you're already projecting the idea that you're a creep by fixating on *not* being a creep. So you end up doing nothing. Dumb men get women because they're too dumb to think about shit like that and they just do it. And they eventually get a woman. So in a way, you need to be a little dumb. Stop overthinking. You'll get more information about how you can improve by getting some rejections under your belt.
> I just want to be content with like the only 3 guy friends I've ever had since high school.
Bro, you're really doing something wrong if you've only got 3 friends form high school. No offense, but you really gotta look at your life and what you're doing because it shouldn't be difficult to make friends at uni at all. Do you have any ideas of what it is?

>>33437130
>Women hate insecurity. And you're already projecting the idea that you're a creep by fixating on *not* being a creep. So you end up doing nothing. Dumb men get women because they're too dumb to think about shit like that and they just do it. And they eventually get a woman. So in a way, you need to be a little dumb. Stop overthinking. You'll get more information about how you can improve by getting some rejections under your belt.
I have already tried sitting next to girls and conversing with them in high school. With some of them I used to talk with way late into the night but idk if they just saw me as friends or what happened because they started to ignore my messages and then one day when I had the courage to ask a girl out she just said "I'm busy right now" which I understood as her not wanting to talk to me anymore.
Everything considered, even if by some miracle chance that I do land a girlfriend, I can't be fully happy because in the back of my head I feel immense guilt for going against God as I am a religious person. So that's why I want to quit entirely and have peace. I don't want anymore FOMO or loneliness.

>>33437258
>I have already tried sitting next to girls and conversing with them in high school. With some of them I used to talk with way late into the night but idk if they just saw me as friends or what happened because they started to ignore my messages and then one day when I had the courage to ask a girl out she just said "I'm busy right now" which I understood as her not wanting to talk to me anymore.
Anon. You talked to them like a friend. What did you expect? Let me say this another way: that's not how you speak to a girl you're romantically interested in. You flirt. You indicate interest. You make sexual innuendo appropriate for what level you are at. You DO NOT talk to a woman for hours on end about random bullshit like you're one of her girlfriends. Do you want to be one of her girlfriends or be her boyfriend? Act accordingly.
>I can't be fully happy because in the back of my head I feel immense guilt for going against God as I am a religious person.
In what fucking religion is it heresy to...have a girlfriend? No offense, but the mental gymnastics here are astounding. Please explain what the actual fuck you're talking about. You realize your parents had to fuck, right?

>>33437272
>In what fucking religion is it heresy to...have a girlfriend? No offense, but the mental gymnastics here are astounding. Please explain what the actual fuck you're talking about. You realize your parents had to fuck, right?
My parents had an arranged marriage so yes their relationship is religiously valid. It's not allowed in my religion to needlessly interact with the opposite gender for fear of temptation regarding fornication/adultery.
>Anon. You talked to them like a friend. What did you expect? Let me say this another way: that's not how you speak to a girl you're romantically interested in. You flirt. You indicate interest. You make sexual innuendo appropriate for what level you are at. You DO NOT talk to a woman for hours on end about random bullshit like you're one of her girlfriends. Do you want to be one of her girlfriends or be her boyfriend? Act accordingly.

It's really really difficult to do that without getting accused of harrassment, especially by religious women which I'm interested in.

>>33435266 (OP)
instead of closing off your heart
try being kind to yourself, letting go of the weight of pressures and expectations, increasing your inner calm, building confidence, and try to seek your fulfilment in the world

>>33437315
>try being kind to yourself
Not possible when people refuse to be kind to me or forgive me.

>>33437301
>It's not allowed in my religion to needlessly interact with the opposite gender for fear of temptation regarding fornication/adultery.
So why the fuck are you concerned with girls showing interest and DMing them if you're afraid of god striking you down with a lightning bolt because you're not supposed to be doing that in the first place? What do you even want?
>It's really really difficult to do that without getting accused of harrassment, especially by religious women which I'm interested in.
It sounds like you just need to wait for your arranged marriage. In the meantime you should work on your social skills in general because they're clearly lacking. You ignored that question here >>33437130
>The only time people ever talk to me is if they need my help, and I provide it because I like to help people.
>Have you ever taken the time to analyze and figure out why that may be the case? No offense, but it's obvious that something about the way you carry yourself, how you interact or your body language, etc is contributing to that.

>>33437412
>try being kind to yourself
>Not possible when people refuse to be kind to me or forgive me.
Oh god. You're the type of person who erroneously believes that *other* people get to dictate who you are and how you feel. No fucking wonder you have so many problems. You've given up all responsibility and control in your life to people who don't even think much of you. That's always a losing mindset, anon.

>>33437459
>So why the fuck are you concerned with girls showing interest and DMing them if you're afraid of god striking you down with a lightning bolt because you're not supposed to be doing that in the first place? What do you even want?
That's the problem dude. I'm conflicted. On one side there's God's command and on the other side there are my forbidden desires. I want to obey the former while not getting tempted even once to do the latter. But it's so hard to do it without constantly reverting back to looking for girls.
>Have you ever taken the time to analyze and figure out why that may be the case? No offense, but it's obvious that something about the way you carry yourself, how you interact or your body language, etc is contributing to that.
Idk what possible deficiency there is in my body language. My friends used to say that I slouched back when I started high school but I fixed that issue long ago. I try to always be nice and casual and interested when talking to other people.

>>33437478
>That's the problem dude. I'm conflicted.
Get back to the mosque. Fuck Instagram. Fuck social media. Get back into your community and make friends there.
>Idk what possible deficiency there is in my body language.
Eye contact. How confident your stride is when you walk. The strength behind your voice. Holding your head high. Clothing style.
> I try to always be nice and casual and interested when talking to other people.
Do you make eye contact with random people as you walk by?

>>33437465
Anon I have my own feelings and I get to define my own character but that doesn't mean I can be delusional and say "I'm an awesome and loved person" when people constantly show that reality is quite the opposite. I want to be liked. I want to be thought and cared about. I want to be able to form deep friendships with people I constantly see each day. But people don't want to do that, despite me putting in the effort. People don't want to see that there is good in me. I'm honestly fucking tired, pissed and sick of all this bullshit. I can try to love myself and all but it's going to stay a delusion until more than 3 people validate me.

>>33437495
>eye contact
I always do that.
>eye contact with strangers
Why would I hold eye contact with people walking anywhere that don't even know me or aren't interested in talking.
>holding your head high
I'm not always aware but I try to keep my chest out and neck up when I become aware randomly.
>clothing style
I'm trying to dress better in streetwear but I don't have a lot of money to spend.
>confident stride
don't know about that
>strength behind your voice
No idea either.

>>33437515
>Anon I have my own feelings and I get to define my own character
Yes
>but that doesn't mean I can be delusional and say "I'm an awesome and loved person"
Anon. YOU get to define what awesome is. And you can decide to love yourself. So, if you cared enough about yourself, you could absolutely say that sentence without being delusional.
>when people constantly show that reality is quite the opposite.
And who the fuck are they to define you?
>I want to be liked. I want to be thought and cared about.
You deserve neither of those things because you do not like yourself and you do not care about yourself. How can you expect others to care more about this than YOU do? That's irrational. The way people treat you externally is a reflection of how you view yourself internally. They are in perfect alignment, anon. And they'll stay that way until you decide to change that.
>People don't want to see that there is good in me.
No. You don't want to see the good in yourself. If you saw that, you wouldn't give a fuck what others think. You have decided that your value is measured by people other than you. Yet you say:
>Anon I have my own feelings and I get to define my own character.
You're a fucking liar, lol.
>I'm honestly fucking tired, pissed and sick of all this bullshit.
Self inflicted jails tend to be the worst ones, anon. I'd be tired of it too.
>I can try to love myself and all but it's going to stay a delusion until more than 3 people validate me.
It starts with you anon. There is no one in the world who can possibly care about you more than yourself. Not even your mother or father because they have to think about themselves too. YOU have to be first in line. And after you, no one else matters. Literally zero. Stop looking outside yourself for validation. You've never once sought your own validation and it's glaringly obvious.

>>33437530
I see. I can tie your issues to everything I discussed in my other post >>33437546.

You expect other people to validate you. You expect others to care more about you than you do yourself. You expect others to give you permission to love yourself. That's never gonna happen because that's not how the world works. You have these problems because you're a nobody. You don't have the spark of presence within you because you don't put it there. You're basically like a ghost because you haven't decided to assign your own value and presence. Visible just enough to be useful and taken advantage of, like a tool on a workbench. But you haven't animated your existence. You haven't self actualized. You're basically what happens if one doesn't care about themselves and sits around waiting for someone else to randomly go "Hey! I LOVE YOU. YOU"RE SO AWESOME!"

>>33437567
And to clarify: you're not inherently a nobody. You're only a nobody because your choices make that so. You could easily choose not to be a nobody, but apparently you need to get three other people's permission to do that first. And that somehow makes perfect sense to you.

>>33437546
>who the fuck are they to define you?
Do you not know what a reality check is ?
>The way people treat you externally is a reflection of how you view yourself internally
I don't understand how this is possible when I take every measure possible to prevent people from finding out my inner turmoil and feelings.
>You don't want to see the good in yourself. If you saw that, you wouldn't give a fuck what others think.
I tend to think I'm a good person, I just wish that other people were able to think that too despite my shortcomings.
YOU have to be first in line. And after you, no one else matters. Literally zero.
This sounds incredibly selfish and arrogant.

>>33437605
Brother. You can lead a horse to water but you're demonstrating that you definitely can't force it to drink. Clearly you have all the answers already. I guess that's why your life is so perfect, huh? Your life is clearly in the shitter but you're intent on leaving the foundational components of said shit life *exactly* the way they are. That's fine by me.
>This sounds incredibly selfish and arrogant.
You literally think having confidence and loving yourself without depending on external opinions is arrogant and selfish? I didn't say be an asshole. I didn't say treat people badly. I said stop being a pussy and care about yourself for once. But fine. Have it your way. Peace. I'm done wasting my time.

>>33437567
>You don't have the spark of presence within you because you don't put it there. You're basically like a ghost because you haven't decided to assign your own value and presence. Visible just enough to be useful and taken advantage of, like a tool on a workbench. But you haven't animated your existence. You haven't self actualized.
I'm tired of putting myself out there only to get ignored, hurt, or downright shutdown. Every attempt at doing something like this with the same results feels like life slowly chipping away at my sanity.
>>33437581
>You could easily choose not to be a nobody
And how do I do that.
>>33437623
>But fine. Have it your way. Peace. I'm done wasting my time.
And just like that I arrived at the same end result of every one of interactions with people.

>>33437636
Unless you take my shit seriously, this is my last reply.

>I'm tired of putting myself out there only to get ignored, hurt, or downright shutdown. Every attempt at doing something like this with the same results feels like life slowly chipping away at my sanity.
Stop doing that then. I'll explain shortly.
>You could easily choose not to be a nobody
> And how do I do that.
Go *inside*. You need to spend time looking within yourself. You need to find out who you are. You need to determine what your goals are and find an aim for your life. You need to find your purpose. But self confidence is a huge portion of this. How that would look is this:

Imagine your optimal life, ****irrespective of other people's opinions*****. Who are you? What do you do to pass the time? How do you dress? What does a day in the life of this version of you look like? And most importantly, how does it feel to be this person? That feeling is can be imitated in your mind but you still feel that in your body. That's what you feel as you work towards those goals and aims you established before. That's what you feel as you move through life. It's self generated. It can never be taken away because you're the one who controls it. It cannot be stopped because why would you choose not to feel that way? These are just pointers to get you started.

>And just like that I arrived at the same end result of every one of interactions with people.
Look back at our exchange. Every time I provided a potential solution you made excuses. You pushed back. You found a way to disregard what I said. You were actively pushing the answers away. And why the fuck would I want to continue helping under those circumstances? This is just a microcosm of the greater experience you've been having -- i.e. Nigger, you're doing it to yourself.

>>33437722
And what happens after I look inside myself?

>>33437814
The goal is determining who you are and what your goals are by creating the idea of your optimal life and the optimal version of yourself. By creating this image you have something that transcends your "problems" to work towards. By imagining how that version of you feels, you know how you *should* be feeling now, and that feeling gets expressed as you work towards those goals even though you haven't attained them yet. In doing that, you build your confidence because you have direction. You're depending on yourself for positive feelings. You're measuring your worth by your own ruler and own standards, not those of external people who barely know you exist. These are the actions of someone who actually has their own feelings and defines their own character like you claim you do. These things are how you cease being a nobody because you have actually defined yourself. That's how you stop being a ghost. That's how one causes their presence to carry weight. These things are how you bring substance to your life.

>>33435266 (OP)
didn't read but i solved ur picture

>>33438173
(for fun i did all this in my head, and once done i tried explaining in text, but switched to an image because the text exceeded the character limit)

>>33438173
>didn't read
Then why are you here?
>>33438257
I'm not a schizo like you

>>33438274
i just wanted to solve the picture i guess.

>>33438684
goofball

>>33435266 (OP)
I've read all this and have a conclusion: go to therapy, OP. People pleasing, self sabotage, preconceptions, avoidance the main issues I see. Probably those are just symptomes. Honestly your case and reasoning sounds like very similar to my life and I have severe ADHD mild autism and complex personality disorder. I am close to 40 so what I can do is damage control only, but you maybe have chance to fix your life. Go to therapy. The sooner the better.

Damn I realized I'm just like Shinji Ikari.

>>33440115
So what do you do then?

Help me please.

>>33435300
this fag spams every thread, ignore it.