>>33454762
>social anxiety
So you tend to think bad thoughts which lead to bad feelings
>pretty awkward
You believe that your behaviors are unappealing
>antisocial, outsider self image
You think that people don't like you and you would like to see the positive aspect in that to cover up the sting with pride
The important pattern here is you learned to think like this, I feel similarly and I had a sheltered childhood. My mom treated me like I was a special little fairy who was totally separate from the outside world. My dad was very timid and yielding to my avoidance and stubborn behaviors.
It's really tough but you need to rebuild yourself. I used Nintendo games, Harry Potter, etc, as a kid as a shrine where I could develop a sense of pride but it was abstract and not culturally accepted so it didn't translate directly into social capital the way true virtue does. True virtue comes from the abstract but it needs to be translated into the language of the society that you live in to have any power. Understand?
Taking pride in being an outcast isn't virtue
