i know female virginity matters to men, but does it matter to the woman? sexhaver women, do you feel that it was important who you lost your virginity to or had other firsts with? if you did those things with people you werent in love with do you regret it? will i regret it?

im a khhv and ive had a lot of chances to have sex but i didnt take any of them because i figured id regret having firsts with people i didnt love among other reasons. but im beginning to think i might never fall in love, and ill actually regret not enjoying my youth to the fullest and indulging in the pleasures of the flesh before i get old and ugly.

>>33455019 (OP)
You will regret it. Dont be a whore. This should be obvious.

Life is unpredictable in that way. I also thought virginity is something a man wants and would be over the moon to be graced with. My husband didn’t care at all so my fixation with „keeping pure” was pointless as I look back at it.
I guess the pros is that you don’t compare him to any other guy even as an „involuntary thought”. On the same note you’ll never know if you don’t like sex or if you and your partner are sexually not compatible.
If you’re in a relationship and you feel like sex is something you wanna do with your partner don’t overthink it too much. Most people don’t care. Everyone has a past.
Do whatever feels right for you, but don’t do it specifically for a man

>>33455019 (OP)
You will always remember your first, so it is nice if it is a nice memory

I find platonic firsts more important. I went on to move in with the guy and date him for nearly a decade and at no point did I think "I'm glad he was my first" or "why did it have to be him, I wish I could have it again with some new guy" or somesuch. Most of all I'm glad it's over with.

>>33455313
Isn't it always awkward? I mostly remember that it was scary, embarrassing and painful. He took care of me but we couldn't make it the first night.

>>33455019 (OP)
>i know female virginity matters to men,
Outside of 4chan, no one except religious extremists gives a fuck.

>sexhaver women, do you feel that it was important who you lost your virginity to or had other firsts with?
You have to understand that, if you're a woman (probably for men too, I dunno), the first time you have sex WILL SUCK. You are not going to remember it as an amazing, life-changing experience: you will remember it as something that sucked, because you were incredibly nervous and awkward and embarrassed and had no fucking clue what you were doing. However, it is definitely worth trying to make it suck LESS. And the ways to do that are: make sure it's with someone you are REALLY attracted to, make sure he's experienced (there should be a law against two virgins having sex), and make sure he is kind, and gentle, and patient, and good at explaining things. And obviously, choose someone you expect to have sex with at least a few dozen times, so you'll have a chance to get a bit more practised and confident.

>>33455019 (OP)
It matters to me but only because I'm 30 and still haven't lost no matter how many men I've thrown myself at over the years. It serves as proof that I'm not even human and likely obscenely ugly and physically offputting on top of that.

>>33455019 (OP)
Find somebody, but also don't slut it up. Also listening to advice from other women is retarded 9 times out of 10.

>>33456022
Throw yourself at me
I have blue

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-eVPiaruWgM

>>33456022
>I'm 30 and still haven't lost no matter how many men I've thrown myself at over the years.
This seems unlikely. How, precisely, are you "throwing yourself" at men? I'm willing to bet most of them didn't realise that's what you were doing.

>>33455461
An "unsuccessful" first time can still be a good memory with the right person

>>33456057
Sad I cannot relate, he did everything right but the whole ordeal (~5 first times) registered as a horror story in my head. Not "d'aww, it was so silly and sweet" but more like "I survived this crazy shit, how bad did you all have it? also [bf] was there, he knows it was awful."

>>33455019 (OP)
Virginity without the first kiss is worthless.
Also most people obsessed with virginity are loser who hate other people for having sex.
And virginity is always overrated because sex is not everything.

>>33455019 (OP)
>does female virginity actually matter
Does anything actually matter?

>>33455019 (OP)
>asking feminists if virginity is important.

They treat it like a curse

>>33455606
>>33456300
wow thats sort of scary. not to make you get graphic here but was there anything that you or him couldve changed to make it suck less or is that just how it has to be. i was sort of considering "getting it over with" with some random hookup but if its gonna be that miserable thats probably a bad idea.

>>33457681
Yeah don't do that. It's much better to experience that with someone you actually care about, not just some rando (either sex) who only cares about getting off or likes the idea of "popping your cherry."

>>33457681
>was there anything that you or him couldve changed to make it suck less
Well, I already answered that:
>>33455606
>However, it is definitely worth trying to make it suck LESS. And the ways to do that are: make sure it's with someone you are REALLY attracted to, make sure he's experienced (there should be a law against two virgins having sex), and make sure he is kind, and gentle, and patient, and good at explaining things. And obviously, choose someone you expect to have sex with at least a few dozen times, so you'll have a chance to get a bit more practised and confident.
You mean, over and above all that? Buy some lube, maybe? Practise putting a condom on a banana? Sort out contraception, obviously.

>i was sort of considering "getting it over with" with some random hookup but if its gonna be that miserable thats probably a bad idea.
Yeah, definitely don't do that. It'll be an absolutely miserable experience, and you'll learn nothing.

A lot sensitive young nerdy men care about virginity but not more than women themselves do which is why they feel such a need to gaslight themselves and everyone about it.

Tired of people denying it. Just talk to women and men about this topic irl and you'll find that people are far more jealous than they let on and that is okay.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wADRRYNHhOA

Most males of any species prefer virgins (on avg): https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37988323/
There is an "is-ought" gap ofc but mindblowing. "Patriarchy" is just a system where one part has to do the reproductive labour for another.

Most men care far less than women do in my experience. Feminists care the most. There is a reason why demo-op podcasts and womens media place far greater emphasis on virginity. (Shows like euphoria, archive of our own shit, andrew tate/pearl rage bait) is directed at women moreso than men.
Women are the sexual conservatives not men.

Just read frankenstein, othello and libido dominandi by e.m Jones and you'll learn far more what men and women are actually like.

There are no women here

Even if there were, women are incapable of feeling regret over something they did. So no woman that regrets losing her virginity exists

>>33460084
It's not necessarily about jealously so much as it is about self-preservation. Fornicating women are more likely to divorce than virgin women. Getting a virgin wife is just risk management.

>>33455019 (OP)
I will say that when women find out I am a virgin they like it and it's a turn-on for them, either they think I am a sweetheart or they are a virgin hunter and they want to pop my cherry. I literally had a whore offer to give me free sex when she heard that I was a virgin (I declined of course). Like either way there's a lot of women who are "into that".

>>33455019 (OP)
Also I just encourage you to listen to people when they talk to you. A lot of people don't do this and it's a huge mistake. Listen to the way that fornicators talk and listen to the way that people who value virginity talk. Think about who you would rather be around and think about the way they describe people. While doing this, think about the way you want your life to be in the future.

>>33455312
Being sexually incompatible just means that I already had sex with you and lost interest. That's why I never know we are "sexually incompatible" until after I have already used you.

>>33460135
What a larp. There is no shame greater than a man who's still a virgin past 15.

I don't particularly regret it, but I assume it would have been a better experience if it was with someone I loved. But it's not something I ever remember and feel shame about before falling asleep. It wasn't miserable contrary what people are saying here, it was a hookup with random guy and as a manwhore he knew what he was doing, but outside if sex he was extremely annoying.
I just think that it would have been more special under right circumstances, but right now for me my loss of virginity is just something "that happened"

>>33460084
>Women are the sexual conservatives not men.
Quite the contrary actually, they were "sexual conservatives" throughout most of history because they didn't have a big pool of choice with men nor much freedom in that area(not counting queens and noble women), nowadays when women have the most sexual freedom do we see their true and natural behaviour and it's hypergamy, they're only "sexually conservative" with men they are not physically attracted to but are married or in a relationship in for monetary or other reasons, give them an attractive man and we'll see how long they stay "sexually conservative"

>>33460157
I hope you meet that guy when taking a walk with your bf hehe

>>33460162
>hypergamy
Anon, that is literally sexual conservatism.

>>33460156
An attractive virgin is seen as "honorable" and "chaste", an ugly virgin is seen as a "loser" and is shamed for it

>>33460167
It is quite literally not, one is about the act of sex the other is about picking better/superior partners, also stop strawmanning

>>33455313
>You will always remember your firs
Why, do you forget the others?

>>33460184
Not necessarily they're just less impactful psychologically.

>>33460170
There is no such thing as an attractive person that's kept their virginity past puberty. Sex is an option that 100% of people who can indulge in it will, as our current hookup culture shows with ample data.

>>33455019 (OP)
Women who have sex loose their value as human beings. Woman who repeatedly have it before they are matured (Eg, younger girls age 13 to 18), turn into unlikable sluts and have basically wasted their lives. The only way to start again for them would be a full reset, suicide.

Girls are pathetic human beings and almost always rely on men to make their existence more tolerable. This is coming from a 19 year old girl. Yes, I've never been kissed.

>>33460225
>Yes, I've never been kissed.
Why not?

>>33460164
He was a tourist so it's never happening

>>33460214
Great that you mentioned data, now find me the data that shows 100% of all attractive people past puberty lost their virginity

>>33460231
You tell me.

>>33460234
If you have a boyfriend, how can you even walk? Aren't you all stretched out and misshapen? Ew.

>>33455606
>Outside of 4chan, no one except religious extremists gives a fuck.

YOU LIE

>>33460147

good answer

>>33455312
Your husband is either trashy troglodyte or some kind of sóyboy faggot.

>>33460303
Probably both given his wife is a 4channer.

>>33460147
>Listen to the way that fornicators talk and listen to the way that people who value virginity talk. Think about who you would rather be around
Fornicators every time.

>>33460225
>Yes, I've never been kissed.
Somehow I'm not surprised.

>>33460225
>This is coming from a 19 year old girl.
Kek. No, it isn't.

>>33460341
I keep all this to myself, mind you. I'm a perfectly adorable girl with autism otherwise.

Maybe it's that we have 12 cats, or maybe it's my large collection of anime body pillows or something else I dunno. I dropped out of high school at 11 and now I'm just cruising.

>>33460343
Want proof, retard?

>>33460225
Never kissed is based in this god forsaken Kali yuga.

>>33460283
Virgin is a hot commodity, wait for your prince.

>>33460370
I know right I'm such an adorable little tight kitty who deserves all the headpats

Wait fuck body pillows don't count as first kisses right?

>>33460374
Prince is actually married and 32 years old. I'd totally accept him as my first if I could though.

>>33460285
We have sex sex like once a week (that's how he prefers it)

>>33460381
Oh, so you can't barely feel a thing down there then? Can barely walk straight? If you sat on an apple, you're so loose it'd just plop right in? That's what I thought, slut.

>>33460375
>Wait fuck body pillows don't count as first kisses right?
Yep, might as well start the onlyfans too you fucking slut.

>>33460349
>Want proof, retard?
Please.

>>33460387
No, I'm actually too tight and it frequently hurts

>>33460149
Yes. „Sexually incompatible” as in if you have sex with one and only guy you’ll never know if sex sucks and you hate it or if your guy sucks at it. Or maybe he’s great and it’s just not for you. Will never know. And you can only hope you won’t get curious at some point in your life.

>>33455019 (OP)
You need to have sex before falling in love with someone. There is no beginning of love without physical intimacy.

>>33455606
>anyone who doesn't live in my post-1970's Western liberal bubble is a religious extremist
Not this shit again

What people don't realize is that it's not the number of partners that matters, it's the quality. A chick with nothing but playboys and douchebags under her belt probably has something wrong with her if all she can connect with are shit people. Begrudging a woman in her twenties for sleeping with a normal ex-boyfriend is insanity.

>>33463240
Sleeping with a boyfriend already shows she doesn't value monogamy, and she thinks sex is more important than commitment.
She treats intimacy as temporary and replaceable, and she in turn is alright with being treated that way herself.

Being stupid and naive is worse than being a non-virgin.
Knowing what men are is much more important to the individual woman than having a mindset to run away like those lab monkeys or being so passive to accept anything. The normie men don't care as long as the count is low (easy to keep below 10 if you're only seeking long term relationships). The pool of men that do care include the least desirable.

>>33463253
Let's say a virgin couple starts dating at 19 years old and sleep together after a month of courting. They stay together for years but eventually split after graduating college due to disagreements about what direction to take their careers, travels, and lives in. They separate peacefully and start looking for another partner after a 6 month grace period. What exactly is your problem with this hypothetical single woman?

If a girl has no whore in her, she isn't fun enough for me. Simple as. I dont want some lifeless frigid nerd who hates her pussy and my cock. If you want that all the more power to you.

>>33463284
>Let's say a virgin couple starts dating at 19 years old and sleep together after a month
Disgusting
>What exactly is your problem with this hypothetical single woman?
Exactly what I said before.
She had sex without commitment, with the predictable result that she can't be exclusive with her spouse, because the relationship imploded. She views relationships fundamentally different from how I do, and couldn't turn back the clock even if she wanted to.

Obviously, this isn't the same as sleeping with a stranger in a gas station bathroom, but both of those things do share the same basic idea: that sex is acceptable without commitment; they just take that idea to different degrees. I reject it in its entirety.

>>33455606
>You are not going to remember it as an amazing, life-changing experience: you will remember it as something that sucked, because you were incredibly nervous and awkward and embarrassed and had no fucking clue what you were doing.
Shut up you fucking moron lmfao. If your first time having sex is a terrible experience it's because you're an awkward dork. My first time was a special, beautiful experience and yes, we were both virgins. There has to be some sub reddit called sex tips from fat nerds that you should go back to.

I feel utter contempt at any man who settles for a non chaste woman and doesn't care about virginity, it says a lot about what they are as a person.

>>33463367
It doesn't matter. Eventually some friend or media apparatus exentension will get to her and she'll get anxious and leave and claim she hasn't experienced Life because of You and your Relationship. Truly any other woman will be so abnormal to stick to one man she will have some mental illness that just superficially looks like religiosity to the naive and callow virgins that frequent this website.

>>33463367
Nothing funnier than 30 year old virgins waxing philosophic about chastity and virtue, when it's a 100% guaranteed fact that if anyone was willing to give you a pity fuck when you were in college you would have done it with zero hesitation. Obsessing about virginity as a virtue is simply cope, because you didn't choose to spend your entire adult life as a virgin, and if you had a choice you would have gotten that little pee pee wet many years ago.

>>33455019 (OP)
Yes Virginity is important not just for women. I'm a bloke so idk how it is for women but like firstly there wouldn't be a whole massive cultural thing around it if it wasn't important. The fact that various groups have vested interests in trying to convince you whether it is or isn't worth preserving lets you know it's at the least important. I can't tell you what to do or live your life for you. But I will say that over the years I've had various girls come onto me all of which I decided to ignore, and the one I ended up being interested in is a slightly weird religious girl who wouldn't have accepted me if I wasn't a virgin, so it ended up paying off. I don't feel like I've lost anything or missed out really - and if I had been experienced before meeting her I think she'd probably feel a lot less special. I know if she had a previous partner I'd definitely feel like I was living in another man's shadow.

>>33463408
#truthnvke and #falsenvke simultaneously. It really depends on the person, the easiest way to tell the difference between a coping fag like you described and someone who genuinely believes it is their looks. If they're ugly it's cope but if they're handsome it's legit - obviously the former is a lot more common. Especially on this website.

>>33463380
Anon the only girls who do that are ones who would've been total sluts but didn't get the opportunity to. Most aren't like that

>>33463531
Im sorry brother but unfortunately I have seen too many times for a young one to persuade me otherwise.

>>33460156
I'm sorry to hear you got molested Anon. Was the perp at least a woman?

>>33455313
If you lose your virginity late, your "first" doesn't really have that much of a sentimental effect

>>33463531
All women are sluts deep down

>>33464621
I don't think that's true. A lot of them are though

>>33463196
On the flipside, if you have sex with multiple guys you'll never know what it's like to not do that. In this life you don't get to do every possible thing. That's why girls usually regret having sex with strangers, but unfortunately, while you can always be a whore, you can't always be a virgin. Or you can just never ever get married if you're really worried about not liking sex, however you must be a bit out of your mind because being married is about way more than simply having sex.

>>33463284
So you want to get married to a person who is okay with having sex and then permanently separating, and you have no idea how that could potentially present an issue for you in the future?

>>33463210
That is the oldest trick in the book.

>>33463256
Being stupid and naiive has nothing to do with virginity. That's why people get divorced all the time, because they are stupid and naiive enough to think "This person won't screw me over" and obviously they were wrong. So then the question is, do you think most of the people getting divorced were virgins when they married? Honestly I really doubt it.

>>33455019 (OP)
It depends on you. Some people can have sex with lots of people with no emotion involved and not feel weird and some people would regret it. It depends on what you want and what you're looking for. Sex is a fruit of love, so imo if you aren't in love with the person, you shouldn't be having sex with them. If you wouldn't be willing to have a kid with them or be with them forever, why would you have sex with them? But that's just me. Some people literally pay for sex with people they don't even know which is something I could never fathom doing in my worst life.

>>33460576
Don't do it then, slutty.

>>33460541
Wowowow, gooner! That's lewd~ I'm blushing!

>>33456057
Nah.
My "first time" was horrible. I was extremely stressed because I had severe confidence issues and I was terrified of being seen naked and terrified of being bad in bed. This stress made my dick not work so I wasn't really able to have sex with my gf. I technically was in her vagina, but we didn't actually have sex. Some time after this I broke up with her because she cheated on me and I absolutely hated myself because of this.
And my first time with my current gf was similar. I couldn't stay hard because I was stressed about not staying hard and this issue lasted for about 2 months. Thanfully my gf was supportive and I managed to stop being stressed during sex.
But yeah, the memory of my first time is pretty painful, it makes me feel like a fucking loser

>>33463408
I am not 30 years old, I am in my early 20s, and I had plenty of opportunities to have sex, not only in college, but also in high school. You don't have arguments, so you decide to attack me, and invent lies. You are either a roastie, or settled for one, no amount of rant and coping coming from you is going to change that.

Cope is to not settle for a non virgin woman? No coping is what you are doing, deluding yourself, lying to yourself, telling yourself that virginity is nothing, that it doesn't matter. My friend, if it did not matter, you wouldn't be arguing and trying to prove your point.

>>33463408
I am not 30 years old, I am in my early 20s, and I had plenty of opportunities to have sex, not only in college, but also in high school. You don't have arguments, so you decide to attack me, and invent lies. You are either a roastie, or settled for one, no amount of rant and coping coming from you is going to change that.

Cope is the voluntary decision of marrying a woman that threw her virginity away?

No, coping is what you are doing, deluding yourself, lying to yourself, telling yourself that virginity is nothing, that it doesn't matter. My friend, if it did not matter, every women would be open about their body counts, women would destroy their hymens with their fingers, and men would find their wives in the brothel, you wouldn't be arguing and trying to prove your point.

>>33463408
I am not 30 years old, I am in my early 20s, and I had plenty of opportunities to have sex, not only in college, but also in high school. You don't have arguments, so you decide to attack me, and invent lies. You are either a roastie, or settled for one, no amount of rant and coping coming from you is going to change that.

Cope is the voluntary decision of not marrying a woman that threw her virginity away?

No, coping is what you are doing, deluding yourself, lying to yourself, telling yourself that virginity is nothing, that it doesn't matter. My friend, if it did not matter, every women would be open about their body counts, women would destroy their hymens with their fingers, and men would find their wives in the brothel, you wouldn't be arguing and trying to prove your point.

>>33460156
Damn I still feel like a loser for not losing my virginity when I was 15. I didn't even kiss any women until I was 17.