Thread 33461389

I am interested to know how ppl are doing after losing soulmate?
I am almost two years after breaking up and I had very bad 1st year, felt like my heart was ripped out, wanted to die. Second year I am doing way better, but seems now I hate romance, I dont want to marry anymore, generally find people unnatractive and annoying. Did any of you go back to your happy self?

>>33461389 (OP)
The pain will last forever in some form. You can bring up a high school ex to some 80 year old guy and he'll still have feelings about it. But you can move forward through the pain, and it's what you must do. You can find someone new and be happy despite it.

At 35, I've had 3 big relationships. 2010-2014, 2016-2018, and 2018-2025 (just broke up in feb).

Each one was painful. Did I "go back to my happy self"? Not sure what you mean by that. I was never the same as I was. That's just life. You change. It happens no matter what. You can never be the same as you were yesterday. But can you be happy again? Yes, you can.

I suggest you figure out who you want to be, and take steps towards becoming that person every day.

>>33461389 (OP)
well i lost my cat and i dream of her, in fact, i always dreamt of me as a cat, whenever i was closer to myself. so she visits me in my dreams. and when waking i viscerly know what it feels like to pet her, her proportions to me, to the room, her sounds and walk. she had a long life, but i pour everything that is left of regret and longing into the next soul, that is crossing my path and acompanies me for a while.

>>33461389 (OP)
it 's been 7 years for me, therapy only helped to deal with the most painfull suffering that made me want to kms at that moment, but didn't help to heal it at all, the pain is still there, it is just bearable nowdays, sometimes it gets worse but still bearable, i just lerned to deal with it

>>33462090
what was your cats name
sorry for your loss

>>33462140
Niggerman.

>>33461389 (OP)
Well I was with one girl for about 4 years. First year felt like my heart was ripped out. I had to get her back at any cost. 2nd year I got over her but was still hurt and jaded. Fast forward years later, I have been with a new girl for 4 years who makes the ex look like a turd. I almost never think of her anymore and the feelings are totally dormant. It's kind of crazy how you can go from being utterly dependant and in love with someone to completely moving past them in just a few years. At the moment of the breakup it seems like the pain will last forever, but it just doesn't.

>>33462144
kek

>>33462048
Yeah, I guess it really changed me. I used to be much more joyful and patient.

>>33462155
Can't wait for the day he will be a turd for me, even if I was treated like turd myself.
Thanks, gave me a bit of hope.

>>33462048
What happened in your last relationship? It went on for a really long time.

>>33461389 (OP)
Just now passed a year since she left the house, still 2 and a half months more until the anniversary of my nocontact and truly letting her go.

She chose to cheat on me after 5 years, left me for that dude, and he's in a different country so she also moved countries.

I started truly getting over her in March, when I started going to events. Went to 100+ events since March, now I'm over her and even able to text her but only for sorting beurocratic things.

My problem isn't her anymore. I did a lot of self growing. My problem is I miss having love and a companion to talk to me and be with me and live with me. I'm so fucking lonely

>>33461389 (OP)
>but seems now I hate romance, I dont want to marry anymore, generally find people unnatractive and annoying
Shit, that's here I'm at right now. Lost my friend who I considered my soulmate 3 years ago, and broke up with my parter 2 years ago, I date sometimes if I find anyone on a dating profile that I think is cute, because I feel like I should, but I feel nothing for them. I have stopped trying to force it and thats fine by me.

>>33461389 (OP)
I found a better soul mate.

>>33464887
you sound like every girl i've ever met off of dating apps
how do i avoid you?

why do you thinks theyre your soulmate?

>>33465006
I am a man just like everyone else on this board and site.

>>33464605
I'm so sorry anon. I was doing better myself, but at this moment now I have some sort of relapse and can't stop memories flowing back again... Makes me miss him so much...

>>33464605
Same, bro, but we're all going to find someone. You deserve to be with someone that isn't a cheater.

>>33466592
>>33467926
Thank you guys. You also deserve to be with someone who actually wants you deeply. I really believe we will all make it. We just have to keep going out there. I'll share a bit more about my process and hopefully it helps you both.
It's kinda hard, but I'm doing hobbies starting September 1st, 5 days a week.
That's how I'm keeping myself busy and putting myself out there. On Monday I'm doing bachata which is a Latin dance with a man and a woman, you get to dance with everyone. Tuesday I'm doing MMA kickboxing at a martial arts school next to my house, Wednesday I'm doing historical European martial arts which is essentially swordfighting with armor, Thursday I'm singing with my choir, and Friday I'm rehearsing with my acting group.
This is in addition to school 9 to 5 Mon through Fri
I'm just doing everything I can to not be home. I hate it here. And I get sucked into this cycle of gaming and watching videos and watching porn, it's really stupid
It's going to be really hard, but I truly believe that it's better I keep myself busy and away from screens, than allow myself time to rot at home. And even if I don't find a partner, I'll thank myself for everything I'm doing. It doesn't even cost that much. Monthly costs asjusted all of my hobbies put together are 151 euros per month